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102 afleveringen, van nieuw naar oud
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Keeping the Weight Off, Rewiring Your Brain with Psychedelics, and Finding Strong Male Role Models
16 oktober 2024 · 38 min
It's hard enough to change, but why it is so hard to maintain that change too? How might psychedelics facilitate big changes in our lives? And how can young men find healthy role models in the modern world? Lees meer
In this week's pod, we cover my current struggles around keeping a healthy diet and lifestyle, how psychedelics might actually scramble your brain (in a good way), and why so many young men are struggling to find a place in the world today.
Enjoy.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: Men's Groups and the Weight Struggle
00:01:07 The Two Levels of Failure: Emotion vs. Narrative
00:02:33 Mark's Personal Weight Journey: Five Years and 60 Pounds
00:03:43 The Training Wheels Come Off: Old Habits Creeping Back
00:05:29 Food Addiction: The One Area That Won't Quit
00:07:13 Relapses Are Part of Recovery: Brandon Novak and the Process
00:13:20 Brilliance or Bullshit: Psychedelics and Brain Rewiring
00:15:32 Neuroplasticity and the Promise of Psychedelics
00:18:12 Psychedelics as Tools: Set, Setting, and Intention Matter
00:22:04 The Dark Side: When Psychedelics Make You Believe Everything
00:24:33 Audience Question: Growing Up Without a Father Figure
00:26:01 The Male Role: Be Useful and Add Value
00:28:08 Men Are Disposable: Make Yourself Indispensable
00:29:54 The Absent Father Crisis and Its Consequences
00:33:26 Finding Role Models Online: Navigating the Manosphere
00:34:55 The Andrew Tate Test: Turn Off the Sound and Watch Their Face
00:37:26 Wisdom of the Week: The Buddha on Self-Conquest
00:37:39 Closing Thoughts and How to Reach the Show⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https… -
How to Beat Distraction and Still Enjoy Life (ft. Nir Eyal)
9 oktober 2024 · 1 uur 1 min
Why can’t we just do the things we know we should do? It’s a simple question with a very complex answer. Lees meer
To help us answer it, I sat down with my old friend, Nir Eyal, a behavioral design expert and author of the best-selling book, Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life.
I love Nir’s approach because he doesn’t linger on the surface of the problem of distraction by hocking the latest app or hack or fancy new time management method. Instead, he dives right into the thorny emotional realities we all face in trying to lead productive, meaningful lives.
In this episode, we talk about what it means to be “indistractable” and how it’s probably the most important skill of the 21st century. We also get Nir’s take on the role of social media in our lives (his views on this might surprise you). And finally, he answers that timeless question: Why don’t we just do what we know we should do?
Enjoy.
About Nir Eyal
Nir Eyal writes, consults, and teaches about the intersection of psychology, technology, and business. Nir previously taught as a Lecturer in Marketing at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design at Stanford.
He is the author of two bestselling books, Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products, and Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. His books have resonated with readers worldwide, selling over 1 million copies in over 30 languages.
Nir’s book, Indistractable: http://geni.us/indistractable
Nir on time boxing: https://www.nirandfar.com/timeboxing/
Nir on values: https://www.nirandfar.com/common-values/
Nir’s free schedule maker: https://www.nirandfar.com/schedule-maker/
More articles by Nir: https://www.nirandfar.com/best-articles/
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: The Writing Partnership That Solved Distraction
00:02:32 What Is Indistractable? The Skill of the Century
00:05:32 Traction vs. Distraction: The Power of Intent
00:08:41 Internal Trigg… -
How TikTok Ruined Politics (And Your Sex Life)
2 oktober 2024 · 48 min
How many f*cks should we give about politics? What’s driving the widening ideological gap between young men and women? And is the world truly and utterly f*cked beyond all recognition? Lees meer
In this episode, we talk politics without really talking politics. We cover how to stay up-to-date on current events without going insane, what history can teach us about the present, the real downside to TikTok’s invasion of—well, everything—and why there is still reason to hold out hope, even when it seems like the world is going straight to hell.
Check it out.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: Election Fatigue and the Fuck of the Week
00:02:08 Why the Person Matters Less Than the Party
00:05:39 The Local vs. Global Problem: Where Your Attention Should Go
00:08:17 Bad News Finds You, Good News Requires Effort
00:11:43 The Marketing Machine Behind Political Narratives
00:15:25 Brilliant or Bullshit: The Gender Political Divide
00:17:14 TikTok's For You Feed and the Psychograph Revolution
00:25:41 The Service Economy and the End of Men
00:30:33 Political Polarization as the New Bigotry
00:33:04 Q&A: Are We Numb to Tragedy?
00:35:12 Why News Makes You Less Informed
00:37:19 Read History, Not Headlines: The Pandemic Example
00:41:34 News Recommendations and Finding Apolitical Sources
00:47:04 Wisdom of the Week: Nothing Is New Under the Sun⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkMansonTheme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used …
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When to Cut Off Your Parents, Mastering Conflict, and Why a Crazy Family Can Make You a Better Person
25 september 2024 · 54 min
Cutting off bad or toxic parents is all the rage in some pockets of the internet these days—but have we lowered the bar a little too much for what makes a parent “toxic”? How can we navigate and own up to the hard conversations we need to have with the people closest to us? And is there a silver lining for putting up with family members who drive us absolutely f*cking insane? Lees meer
Join us on today’s pod as we get a little squirmy in our chairs while we tackle these issues. Drew squashes some beefs, Mark sniffs out some of the bullshit around cutting people off, and we answer one of your questions about dealing with those crazy people you just can’t get away from: your family.
Enjoy.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: The Art of Difficult Conversations
00:01:36 The Sibling Beef: When Shared History Divides
00:03:42 Different Childhoods Under the Same Roof
00:06:17 The Go First Principle: How to Start Hard Conversations
00:09:14 When Speaking Up Makes Things Worse
00:10:46 The Strategic Value of Picking Fights When You're Young
00:13:35 Building Trust Through Confrontation
00:14:29 Family Versus Friends: Why Stakes Change Everything
00:16:19 The Intimacy-Conflict Paradox
00:18:03 The Addiction to Confrontation
00:21:08 Brilliant or Bullshit: Cutting Off Your Parents
00:22:50 The Last Resort Standard: When to Actually Cut Contact
00:23:49 Managing Exposure: The Middle Ground Nobody Talks About
00:26:23 Concept Creep: When Everyone's a Narcissist
00:29:50 The Value of Friction: What We Lost by Living Apart
00:31:13 The Cutting Off Epidemic: Friends, Not Just Family
00:32:27 When Annoying Becomes Friendship
00:34:18 Toxic Versus a Toxic Moment
00:36:42 Reader Question: Breaking Free Without Abandoning Family
00:37:38 You Can't Save Your Family
00:46:43 The Fantasy of Being the Savior
00:40:53 When Success Makes You the Enemy
00:43:27 The Threat to Identity
00:45:03 Dealing with Familial Guilt
00:49:47 The Small Town Mentality: Don't Get Too Big
00:53:14 Wisdom of … -
How to Be a Great Friend, Para-Social Relationships, and Why You Shouldn't Die Alone
18 september 2024 · 47 min
The quality of your life often comes down to the quality of the relationships you have. That’s why we’re giving a huge f*ck about friendship this week. Lees meer
While the benefits of having good friends are pretty obvious, the cost of maintaining friendships is often overlooked by a lot of people. We dive into that, plus some advice on when you should and shouldn’t cut off people in your life, and how friends and romantic partners really impact our happiness.
Check it out.
Here’s the paper we discuss:People perceive parasocial relationships to be effective at fulfilling emotional needs
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Mark’s Halloween Costume
00:01:34 The F*ck of the Week: How to Be a Better Friend
00:20:48 Brilliant or Bullsh*t: Cutting Off Parents, Family, or Friends
00:36:01 Q&A: Can You Be Happy Without Close Friends? Romantic Partners?⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkMansonTheme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.
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Self-Help Junkies, Stupid Experts, and the Worst Life Advice I've Ever Heard
11 september 2024 · 43 min
Are you addicted to self-improvement? Are experts really any better than the rest of us at knowing how to make positive changes in our lives? What are some common pieces of life advice that just don't seem to work? Lees meer
Drew and I tackle all of these questions today in our brand new, updated format for the pod. Find out why self-help can turn into pseudo-religion (and why we should bring back exorcisms), whether or not a huge mega-study by a bunch of fancy experts can tell us anything about behavioral change, and some common self-improvement tropes that just don't do it for us.
Here's the study we discuss: Megastudies improve the impact of appliedbehavioural science
Let us know what you think of the new show format in the comments below.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 New show format
00:03:15 The F*ck of the Week: When self-improvement turns into addiction (or a cult)
00:17:06 Brilliant or Bullshit? Do experts actually know what they're talking about?
00:31:13 Your Questions Answered: Life advice that doesn't work?⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkMansonTheme song is "Icarus Lives" by Periphery.
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What It Really Takes to Accomplish Your Dreams (ft. Steven Pressfield)
28 augustus 2024 · 58 min
Steven Pressfield was 52 years old when he published his first hit novel, The Legend of Bagger Vance. Prior to that, he wrote tirelessly for decades in obscurity, supporting himself with odd jobs along the way. Lees meer
After writing several more novels and movie scripts, he distilled all of his wisdom into The War of Art, his now-famous treatise on the grinding process of creativity.
Now in his 80s, Steven looks back on his work and life with a clear-eyed view of what it truly means to make it as a creative professional. In this episode, he explains why he persisted writing for decades with little to show for it, how he compensated for his own lack of talent, why creating great art is actually a grueling war fought within the artist’s own mind, and much, much more.
Enjoy.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction
00:02:13 Persisting at writing... for decades
00:06:40 The Resistance
00:14:23 Patience when facing The Resistance
00:22:12 Is The Resistance actually a good thing?
00:26:52 Turning Pro
00:32:22 How much do hard work, skill, and talent matter?
00:40:48 Does great art require suffering?
00:44:57 How Steven's military experience influences his work
00:49:52 Honoring your muse
00:56:04 What writers can learn from advertising
00:58:08 The Daily Pressfield⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson -
5 Ways to Be Self-Disciplined Without Making Yourself Miserable
21 augustus 2024 · 35 min
We often think self-discipline requires massive action and a lot of pain and sacrifice—but the reality is a lot more boring. Today, we tackle some common misconceptions about self-discipline, arguing that real change comes from setting up your environment for success, not grinding through endless struggle. Lees meer
We explore the hidden dangers of romanticizing pain and why true self-discipline is more about boring consistency than epic feats of endurance. Hopefully, this episode challenges you to rethink how you approach your goals and habits. If you're ready to stop punishing yourself and start seeing real, lasting change, you won’t want to miss this.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction
00:03:11 Self-discipline is not the same as willpower
00:09:45 Self-discipline does not involve shaming yourself
00:15:39 Self-discipline is about self correction, not perfection"
00:22:16 Self-discipline is boring
00:29:18 Self-discipline involves forging new identities"⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson -
Bonus Q&A: Facing Regrets, Hustle Culture, Living with ADHD, and More
16 augustus 2024 · 48 min
It’s bonus episode time! Today, I’m doing a Q&A with questions you’ve all submitted. We dive into how I’ve changed my mind, bad habits, regrets, dead dreams, advice to young people, meditation, and a whole lot more. Lees meer
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: Tackling 1,200 Unanswered Questions
00:00:29 What I've Changed My Mind About: The Prevalence Inflation Hypothesis
00:02:35 Breaking Bad Habits: The Dark Valley Between Days 5 and 25
00:05:29 Dealing With Fame and Follower Counts
00:05:58 Biggest Regrets: Health, Relationships, and Being a Dick in Your 20s
00:08:08 Positive Thinking vs. Realistic Thinking: Clearing Up the Paradox
00:10:47 Parental Emotional Immaturity and Its Massive Effects
00:12:08 Relationship Advice: Marriage Is Underrated and Dating Culture Is Getting Worse
00:15:19 Would You Change Your Books? Subtle Art and Everything Is F*cked Reflections
00:16:21 Do You Still Want to Be a Rock Star? When Old Dreams Die
00:17:09 Free Will, David Goggins, and Measuring Success After Financial Freedom
00:20:40 Why the Hair? Premature Hair Envy Explained
00:21:36 Handling Grief: Losing a Brother to Depression and Addiction
00:23:40 What Do You Think About the Universe? A Cosmic Rant
00:26:41 Sexual Experience, Relationship Readiness, and Playing the Long Game
00:29:38 Advice for Teenagers: More Face-to-Face Socializing
00:30:57 Dealing With Adversity: When to Persist and When to Give Up
00:34:06 Moving On From a 24-Year Relationship and the BetterHelp Controversy
00:37:53 Meditation, Christianity, and the Best Business Advice: Be the Goose
00:40:09 Hustle Culture: It's a Skill, Not a Lifestyle
00:43:05 Living With ADHD: Caffeine, Meditation, and Doing Two Things at Once
00:46:45 Edgelord Maximus: A Gladiator-Style Sign-Off⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patt…
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How To Be Successful in a World That Wasn’t Built for You (ft. Astronaut Cady Coleman)
14 augustus 2024 · 54 min
How do you find your way in a world where even when you do everything right, the odds keep getting stacked against you? My guest today, Cady Coleman, shares how she navigated the male-dominated fields of science, the Air Force, and NASA, breaking down barriers with tenacity and grace. Lees meer
From her time on the International Space Station to the release of her first book, Sharing Space, Cady’s story is a powerful reminder of the importance of mission, adaptability, and the unwavering belief in one’s potential, even when the world around you says otherwise.
Check it out.
Cady’s Book, Sharing Space: https://www.amazon.com/Sharing-Space-Astronauts-Mission-Wonder/dp/0593494016
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:46 Becoming an astronaut
00:05:56 Spacewalking
00:11:22 On being underestimated
00:14:28 Life's missions, big and small
00:16:19 Life on the International Space Station
00:22:18 A new way of looking at the world
00:29:41 Do astronauts feel more connected to the world?
00:32:43 How do you live in space with other people?
00:41:28 Coming back down
00:51:51 The state of the space program⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson -
6 Ways to Stop Giving a F*ck
7 augustus 2024 · 42 min
We all wish we gave fewer f*cks in our lives, but wanting to and doing it are two different things. If you've read my book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, then you know that not giving a f*ck doesn't mean you don't care about anything—it means deliberately choosing what you give a f*ck about and ignore the rest. Lees meer
In this episode, we dive into the realities of not giving f*ck, the good and the bad. We talk about why there will never be a time when you're completely free from judgement by others. Why being "normal"—whatever that means—is not something to aspire to, nor is wanting to be liked by everyone. How criticism is a part of life you can't escape—but not all criticism is created equal. And a whole lot more.
Check it out.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Mark goes to Europe and previews upcoming videos
00:05:10 If you wouldn't ask them for advice, then f*ck their criticism.
00:13:20 People will judge your for whatever you do or don't do. F*ck the people, do the thing.
00:22:55 To be liked by all is to be loved by none.
00:28:44 F*ck being normal.
00:37:30 Your vanity and anxiety are both liars.
00:42:42 You must give a f*ck about something more than the adversity you face.⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson -
It's Never Too Late to Turn Your Life Around (ft. Brandon Novak)
31 juli 2024 · 1 uur 20 min
Brandon Novak showed all the signs of becoming a highly successful, rebellious young man. He was a professional skateboarder in his early teens, rubbing elbows with the likes of Bucky Lasek and Tony Hawk. In his late teens and twenties, he was a regular on world-famous TV shows like Viva La Bam and Jackass. Lees meer
But drugs and alcohol were always lurking in the shadows for Novak, and he soon fell head-first into the dark trap of his addictions. He endured bouts of homelessness, committed every petty crime you could imagine, and even resorted to sex work to feed his addictions.
The stats would suggest Brandon Novak shouldn’t be sober right now. He probably shouldn’t even be alive. But not only is he alive with 9 years of sobriety under his belt, he’s found a deep and meaningful purpose in his life, running his own rehab centers and taking care of his elderly mother.
This is the hilarious and heartening story of how Brandon Novak turned it all around. And trust me, if he can do it, so can anyone else.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction
00:05:25 What is it like reliving crazy stories?
00:07:46 What's your new definition of fun?
00:22:32 Brandon's early life
00:28:22 When did drugs really become a problem?
00:34:23 Why did rehab #13 work?
00:42:57 How can people help addicts?
00:44:31 Christopher F*cking Columbus of finding rock bottom
00:46:03 The fundamental unhealthy mindsets
00:52:31 Reflection on Jackass
00:56:48 Why Jackass couldn't be made today
01:00:46 Are addicts just trying to get the love they want?
01:06:26 Brandon's treatment centers
01:12:10 What people did for Novak along the way
01:14:13 What do you give too many fucks about?
01:17:26 What do you give too few fucks about?⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and help…
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The Backwards Law: How to Get More by Doing Less
24 juli 2024 · 39 min
There are certain areas in life where trying harder only makes things worse. Trying to prove how likable and confident you are only makes you feel more unlikable and less confident. Trying to make someone love you only makes you feel more unlovable. Lees meer
The solution to this conundrum is what’s known as “The Backwards Law”.
Simply put, The Backwards law states that desiring a positive experience is itself a negative experience, while accepting a negative experience is a positive experience.
In this episode, Drew and I talk about five areas of life where doing less can actually reap massive benefits.
Enjoy.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 The Backwards Law: When Trying Makes Things Worse
00:02:00 Three Curves: How Effort and Reward Actually Work
00:06:02 Emotions: The Anxiety About Your Anxiety
00:10:15 Freedom: Why Commitment Sets You Free
00:11:08 Depth vs. Breadth: The Two Types of Freedom
00:19:07 Happiness Requires Struggle: Why Comfort Doesn't Work
00:23:37 Love: When It Becomes Dangerous
00:29:30 Respect: The Foundation of All Healthy Relationships
00:32:43 What Respect Actually Means: Time, Attention, and Equality
00:35:40 Why Internal States Don't Follow External Rules⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson -
Is Social Media Really Ruining Our Lives… Or Is It Something Else? (ft. Jonathan Haidt)
17 juli 2024 · 1 uur 28 min
Is everything going to hell in a handcart because of smartphones and social media? In this episode, I sit down with NYU professor and bestselling author Jonathan Haidt to tackle this burning question. Lees meer
Dr. Haidt makes a compelling case that our addiction to these devices is wreaking havoc on society, from mental health crises to political turmoil. But is it really all the smartphone’s fault? I'm not so sure it's quite that simple, so I wanted to dive deeper into the nuances.
We get into the nitty-gritty and I challenge some of Haidt’s claims, exploring questions like, why do these issues seem to hit the English-speaking world the hardest? Is this another moral panic, or is this time really different? We also discuss the differences in how smartphones affect various demographics and cultures, and why understanding these distinctions is crucial. Plus, we explore Jonathan’s practical and highly sensible recommendations for parents, educators, and policymakers.
Whether you’re a skeptic or a die-hard believer, this episode will make you rethink your relationship with the technology in our pockets.
Let's do this.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: Is It All the Smartphone's Fault?
00:04:00 The Great Rewiring of Childhood (2010-2015)
00:08:07 Why This Isn't Just Another Moral Panic
00:20:15 The Psychological Importance of Play
00:22:54 Educational Development vs. Psychological Development
00:25:48 Why Girls and Boys Are Affected Differently
00:27:59 Politics, Religion, and Who Gets Hit Hardest
00:31:31 The Moral Foundations Theory Connection
00:40:52 Why the Anglosphere Is Suffering Most
00:45:14 The Global Destruction of Human Capital
00:59:19 From Social Networks to Attention Slot Machines
01:05:09 TikTok and the Short-Form Video Catastrophe
00:51:47 Cigarettes vs. Alcohol: What Kind of Problem Is This?
00:53:56 The Case for Warning Labels and Age Gating
01:09:45 Prescription 1: No Phones in Schools
01:12:10 Prescription 2: No Social Media Before 16
01:16:20… -
How I Lost 60 Pounds and Started Giving A F*ck About My Health
10 juli 2024 · 43 min
Over the past 5 years, I’ve completely changed my relationship to my health. Prior to that, I was overweight, pre-diabetic, and having chest pains in my mid-30s. I thought maybe eating a salad once a week and going for a run every now then would take care of it. I was wrong. Lees meer
Since then, I’ve lost 60 pounds (~30kg). I now enjoy exercising regularly and I eat healthy and nutritious foods. My daily life is much more physically active and I get way better sleep. I’m happy with my health now—but it took a long time to get here.
I’m not going to share a bunch of workout routines or complicated diets. What worked for me might not work for you. But I can share what I went through to get here in the hopes that you, too, might change how you think about your health and take it more seriously. Because at the end of the day, your health is definitely something you should give a f*ck about.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: The 60-Pound Journey and Why I'm Sharing This
00:02:40 Growing Up on the Standard American Diet
00:04:04 The Metabolism Crash: Gaining 50 Pounds in My Mid-30s
00:05:12 Chest Pains and the Doctor's Warning: You're a Ticking Time Bomb
00:06:55 Phase One: The Classic Approach and the First Plateau
00:08:45 The Delusion Problem: Why I Kept Lying to Myself
00:13:03 Hiring a Coach and the Game-Changing Power of Tracking
00:17:58 The Devastating Rebound: Gaining It All Back
00:20:32 Environment Is Everything: The Move to LA
00:25:53 The Genetic Revelation: You're Metabolically 60 Years Old
00:31:07 Breaking Through Plateaus: The Role of Coaching and Perspective
00:33:40 The Privilege Problem: Let's Talk About Access and Cost
00:34:37 Genetics, Sympathy, and the Addiction Parallel
00:38:47 The Virtuous Cycle: Optimizing for Longevity in My 40s
00:40:40 The Real Takeaway: It's About Habits, Lifestyle, Biology, and Psychology⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthr…
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Life-Changing Insights From Traveling To Every Country In The World (ft. Drew Binsky)
3 juli 2024 · 57 min
Drew Binsky is a fearless traveler who's seen it all. From chatting with North Koreans in their homeland to dodging bombings in Somalia and volunteering in Syria in the middle of a civil war, Drew's adventures are nothing short of incredible. He's been to every country in the world, witnessing the most dangerous places and surviving a few close calls. Yet, his experiences have led him to a surprising conclusion: most people, most of the time, are good. Even in the direst circumstances, Drew finds that human resilience can prevail. Lees meer
In our conversation, Drew shares why he's drawn to war zones and failed states, revealing the profound lessons he's learned from them. We discuss why you should never judge a country by the news you hear about it, how the most impactful trips are often the most challenging, and where to find the friendliest people on Earth. Drew also offers his top travel tips on spontaneity, connecting with locals, and what he looks for on his travel adventures. It's a deep dive into the heart of travel and human nature that might just inspire you to see the world a little differently.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: The Man Who Visited Every Country
00:02:23 What's Actually Universal Across All Cultures
00:06:06 Inside North Korea: Tennis Invitations and Empty Hotels
00:09:06 How to Stay Safe in Dangerous Places
00:13:13 Syria During the War: Volunteering Among the Rubble
00:16:11 The Media Disconnect: Afghanistan, Iran, and Misunderstood Places
00:18:26 El Salvador, Brazil's Favelas, and the Safety Paradox
00:21:27 Living Abroad: The Best Education You Can Get
00:25:13 India: The Most Transformative Trip
00:27:14 The Extremes of India: Beauty and Horror on the Same Street
00:29:44 The Adrenaline Gene: Why Drew Doesn't Feel Fear
00:30:44 Mogadishu: The Most Dangerous City in the World
00:32:43 Mark's Close Call in Cartagena
00:37:21 Overrated or Underrated: Government, Culture, and War
00:43:45 The Best and Worst Thing About Every Country
0… -
How to Know When to Give Up on Goals
26 juni 2024 · 42 min
A lot of people treat goals like some kind of sacred self-improvement law, where the most important thing you can do is set and achieve your goals. Lees meer
But goals are simply tools we use to point us in the right direction. Your goals should serve you—and so you shouldn’t be a slave to some arbitrary goal you set when it’s no longer serving you. So how do you know when a goal is no longer pushing you in the right direction?
In this episode, I talk about why I gave up a pretty big goal I set at the beginning of the year. I discuss what I think are the criteria you should use when deciding whether to give up on a goal or stick it out.
We also discuss what we learned from the goals survey we did for podcast viewers and listeners. How many stuck with their goals and how many have moved on? What are the most effective tactics people used to stick to their goals? What are the most important lessons they learned about their goals and themselves?
Check it out.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:13 Mark's (failed) goal
00:05:11 Is Mark full of sh*t?
00:08:14 Drew's (half sucessful) goal
00:12:08 Extreme measures
00:14:08 Getting more specific with your goals
00:16:40 Survey results
00:18:55 Teachable moment: Selection bias
00:23:06 How did people stick with their goals?
00:24:49 The value of self-discovery in working towards goals
00:32:57 3 good reasons to give up on a goal
00:37:00 Bonus reason to give up a goal
00:39:34 Mark's new health goals
00:41:53 Drew's updated goals⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson… -
How to Become Resilient and Break World Records (ft. Dean Stott)
19 juni 2024 · 1 uur 5 min
After a catastrophic parachuting accident ended his military career in the British special forces, Dean Stott couldn't just retire to a quiet life. Instead, he decided to shatter boundaries in entirely new fields. Lees meer
These days, when Dean isn't prepping to beat another world record, like a 14,000-mile bike ride in less than 100 days, he's jet-setting around the world rescuing civilians and diplomats alike from war zones.
In this episode, Dean shares his unique approach to overcoming adversity, managing risk, and staying mentally tough in the most challenging situations. We explore his fascinating experiences from war-torn countries to royal security and the psychological benefits of meticulous planning and mission-driven thinking. Dean also offers a glimpse into how he balances extreme challenges with a grounded personal life.
Enjoy.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: The Baddest Motherfucker I've Ever Met
00:03:40 Dean's Relationship to Pain and the Parachuting Incident
00:08:04 Breaking the Pan-American Highway World Record
00:12:18 Mortality, Risk, and Making Smart Decisions
00:16:18 The Canadian Embassy Evacuation and Understanding Local Cultures
00:20:01 Building Trust in Dangerous Places
00:22:17 Choosing the Harder Path and Becoming SBS
00:25:47 What the Military Teaches That Civilians Miss
00:30:53 Preparation, Perfectionism, and OCD
00:33:24 Dealing With Extremes and Training Two Up
00:37:57 The Power of Non-Judgment and Making Friends Anywhere
00:39:46 Alana: Partnership, Purpose, and Power Couple Dynamics
00:46:56 The Duty to Give Back and How to Ask for Money
00:48:03 Meeting Prince Harry and Fox Piss One
00:52:31 The Skill of Being Famous and the Burden of Duty
00:59:02 Toughest Forces on Earth and Still Got It
01:02:51 Ocean Rowing the West Coast and Taking Alana Out of Her Comfort Zone⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on…
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The Blue Dot Effect: Why Things Always Seem Worse Than They Are
12 juni 2024 · 37 min
Have you ever wondered why, despite everything seemingly going well, you still feel a nagging sense of dissatisfaction? Well, you’re not alone. This is actually a fascinating psychological phenomenon I call "The Blue Dot Effect". It’s all about how our brains can trick us into seeing problems and negativity even when everything around us is getting better. Lees meer
Join me and Drew as we unpack this curious effect and explore how it impacts our everyday lives. From the way we perceive our personal achievements to our overall happiness, the Blue Dot Effect plays a sneaky role in shaping our mindset.
Let's dig right in.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: Why This Research Changes Everything
00:02:08 The Blue Dot Effect: The Original Study Explained
00:04:56 Why Your Mind Invents Problems When Life Gets Better
00:07:25 Crime, Safety, and the Paradox of Progress
00:08:46 The Media Negativity Bias and Information Overload
00:09:35 Living in New Zealand: When There's Nothing to Protest
00:11:58 The Psychological Immune System and Problem Homeostasis
00:13:51 Why We Need People Who've Seen Real Hardship
00:16:18 How the Internet Compresses the Blue Dot Effect
00:17:05 The Information Diet: Why Consuming Less News Makes You More Objective
00:19:41 Economic Perception vs Reality: Why Nobody's Happy Despite Growth
00:21:28 Personal Health and Fitness: Moving the Goalposts on Yourself
00:23:59 When Self-Improvement Becomes the Problem
00:28:36 Mental Health Diagnosis: ADHD, Trauma, and Definition Creep
00:32:17 The Value of Journaling: Creating a Reality Check Against Concept Drift
00:34:50 Reading History Instead of News: The Ultimate Perspective Shift
00:35:57 Progress Tends to Mask Itself: Dan Gilbert's Final Word⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your bl…
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The Harsh Truth About Self-Discipline (ft. Rich Roll)
5 juni 2024 · 1 uur 32 min
I’ve often wondered if self-discipline is just a way of turning bad addictions into healthy ones. After all, addictions of all kinds are really just an attempt to numb and distract ourselves from facing uncomfortable feelings. Can’t the same be said for healthy behaviors once they reach a level of compulsion? Lees meer
I brought Rich Roll on the pod to discuss this idea because, well, he’s a recovered alcoholic who turned into an ultra-endurance athlete in his 40s. Rich is no stranger to reinventing himself, repeatedly leveraging his flaws into virtues.
We talk about the value of pain as a catalyst for change, the idea that addiction is a spectrum that doesn’t just involve substances, terrible breakups, finding a deeper spirituality, lessons from Rich’s financial struggles, his career running a top podcast, and much, much more.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: Is Self-Discipline Just Healthy Addiction?
00:04:23 The Connection Between Addiction and Ultra-Endurance
00:08:49 Pain as Teacher: Confronting Discomfort
00:21:24 What We're Most Addicted To Right Now
00:13:14 When Willingness Finally Arrives: Rich's Rock Bottom
00:29:07 Why the 12-Step Program Works After 100 Years
00:39:38 The Wedding That Nearly Destroyed Him
00:46:36 Spirituality Without Religion: Defining the Mystical Beyond
00:50:55 The Physical as Vehicle for the Spiritual
01:05:53 Seven Years of Financial Hell: Trash Cans, Repo Men, and Faith
01:15:51 Starting a Podcast in a Yurt: The Origin Story
01:22:01 The Power of Vulnerability: Why Sharing Shame Sets You Free
01:26:42 What Rich Gives Too Many, Too Few, and Just the Right Amount of Fucks About⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK…
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5 Ways to Hack Your Mind For Success
29 mei 2024 · 44 min
The way you think about the world and your place in it can have a huge impact on your life. And yet, when it comes to evaluating the way we think, we’re rarely able to smell our own bullshit. Lees meer
So today, Drew and I break down five different mindsets you can adopt to live a more examined, successful life. This requires you to reject many of the mindless beliefs you’ve been force fed your entire life.
Let’s do it.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: The Success Hack Problem
00:01:22 Find the Pain You Enjoy
00:04:14 Ass Power and the Dogs That Don't Quit
00:05:57 Mark's Cross Country Disaster: An Obliviousness Advantage
00:09:16 Focus on What You Can Control and Ignore What You Can't
00:14:09 Media Consumption, Bad Netflix Shows, and Personal Responsibility
00:16:13 Can You Choose Who You Love?
00:20:21 Turn Off the Autopilot
00:24:21 The Costanza Theorem: Do the Opposite
00:26:42 Adopt a 10X Mindset
00:30:20 10X in Relationships: Don't Run Your Love Life Like a Business
00:34:35 Focus on Fewer Things for Longer Periods of Time
00:42:31 Wrap-Up: Still Not Successful⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson -
How Modern Dating Became Such a Dumpster Fire (ft. Sadia Khan)
22 mei 2024 · 1 uur 3 min
Let's be honest: the modern dating landscape is a shit show. From declining marriage rates and rising infidelity to the nightmare of using dating apps—it's brutal out there. Lees meer
With all these supposedly "easy" ways to meet new people, why are the people who want long-term, stable relationships so fed up with the dating world?
I invited dating and relationships coach Sadia Khan on the pod to discuss how the skills we use to excel in modern dating often sabotage long-term happiness.
Sadia brings a refreshing, thought-provoking perspective to the conversation that will help you navigate the complexities of today's dating world. We dive into the role of self-esteem in successful relationships, the pitfalls of modern dating advice, and the skewed expectations shaped by social media, dating apps, and pornography.
Enjoy.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: When Dating Advice Became a Dumpster Fire
00:04:36 Modern Dating Is Training You for Divorce
00:05:33 Social Media, Porn, and the Extrinsic Values Trap
00:10:42 Why Dating Apps Prime You for the Wrong Things
00:17:46 The Humanization Problem: When Men See Women as Vaginas
00:14:20 Why Opposite-Gender Friendships Are Essential
00:28:12 The Glory Hole Revelation and Male Impulse Slavery
00:29:47 Sexual Arousal vs. Real Life: Separating the Realms
00:22:54 When Men Get Stuck at 16: Status, Insecurity, and the 19-Year-Old Trap
00:24:16 Beauty vs. Sexual Attractiveness: The Distinction Men Miss
00:37:49 The Worst Women's Dating Advice: The Narcissism Epidemic
00:40:10 Why Women's Dating Advice Overprotects Feelings
00:41:23 The Instagram Picture Double Standard
00:43:00 The Curse of High Expectations and Unrealistic Checklists
00:45:41 Settling Isn't Failure: It's Where Intimacy Lives
00:47:18 Self-Esteem and Love: Why Low Self-Esteem Ruins Both Giving and Receiving
00:48:53 How to Know You Have Relationship Self-Esteem
00:50:22 Peace vs. Denial: Earning Stability Through Difficult Conversations
00:51:11 Boundaries:… -
5 Ugly Truths That Make Life Beautiful
15 mei 2024 · 46 min
So many people seem to be obsessed with feeling good all the time. They’re always looking for “hacks” to an easier, happier life. But what if the easy way actually makes it harder to have a life full of meaning and purpose? Lees meer
Today, Drew and I take on the ugly truths that give life its beauty. Some of these might be a little hard to stomach at first. But if you see them through, you might be surprised at what’s on the other side.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Beauty Is Pain: The French Philosophy of Suffering
00:01:22 Choose Your Suffering: The Path to Meaning
00:03:42 The Columbia Protest Paradox: When You Don't Realize What You Chose
00:05:26 The Price of Being Public: Criticism, Hate, and Thick Skin
00:12:13 Post-Traumatic Growth: The Research Nobody Talks About
00:15:16 Maya Angelou's Pencil: Channeling Trauma Into Greatness
00:18:32 Evil People Don't Think They're Evil: The David Foster Wallace Insight
00:22:14 The Manosphere Trap: When Self-Help Becomes a Black Hole
00:24:21 Death Casts the Shadow: Why Mortality Gives Life Meaning
00:33:57 The Sailboat That Never Sailed: Don't Wait for Someday
00:35:48 You Do Not Exist: The Buddhist Concept of No-Self
00:39:54 I Am Avoidant vs. I Feel Avoidant: The Language That Changes Everything⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson -
How to go from Boring to Extraordinary (ft. Codie Sanchez)
8 mei 2024 · 53 min
In an era where “quiet quitting” and “self-care” obsessions seem to be all the rage, there’s a huge opportunity to set yourself apart from everyone else—and it’s not as hard as you might think. Lees meer
Codie Sanchez set herself apart by buying “boring businesses” and turning her venture into a multi-million dollar enterprise.
But for Codie, it’s about so much more than the money. Her simple mantra is, “question everything”, and it has given her a unique perspective on life, relationships, and happiness, which we explore here in this week’s pod.
This was a fun interview, check it out.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: The Best Time in History to Be a High Performer
00:04:04 Why Cody Started Writing and the Trojan Horse of Money
00:07:25 Leaving Everything on the Field: What Drives High Performers
00:09:22 The Drawbacks of Drive and Finding What's Worth Pursuing
00:13:12 From the Border to Goldman Sachs: Money as the Great Equalizer
00:15:14 Learning the Language of Money and Going Direct to People
00:17:37 Mark's Journey: Loving the Scrappy Struggle
00:20:25 The Hedonic Treadmill and Playing the Game You Love
00:21:37 When Did We Decide Work Couldn't Be Fun?
00:25:12 The Work Hours Myth and Redefining Overwork
00:26:50 The Prevalence Inflation Effect: When Mental Health Awareness Backfires
00:29:15 Why Now Is the Golden Age for Performers
00:31:02 Why Aren't There More Women in Business Leadership?
00:33:17 The Wing, Pink Rooms, and Crochet: Where Women's Business Went Wrong
00:35:23 Business Creators vs Beauty Creators: The Audience Size Gap
00:37:23 The Great Gender Divergence: When Audiences Split
00:39:56 Why Social Media Kills Nuance and What We Can Do About It
00:41:49 The Anti-Trigger Experiment: Choosing Not to Be Emotionally Hijacked
00:44:42 Picking Your Battles and Avoiding Clickbait Temptation
00:45:50 The Boring Business Cycle: From Mockery to Meme
00:47:27 Economic Hardship and the Make Money Space Boom
00:48:20 Caring What Smart People Think and … -
(Q&A) Fear of Failure, Morning Routines, and... Manifesting?
1 mei 2024 · 57 min
A week ago, we hit 2M subs on YouTube and 10M podcast downloads, and I promised a special Q&A episode of the pod—which turned out to be more fun than I expected. Lees meer
Jump in on this celebratory episode, where I rapid fire through some of the most interesting questions sent in by you guys.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: 10 Million Downloads and Open Q&A
00:00:49 Building a Strong Marriage: The Keys to a Healthy Relationship
00:03:25 No Book Plans and Avoiding Burnout
00:04:16 Three Big Lessons from the Last Five Years
00:06:33 Tough Love for Content Creators: Stop Comparing Yourself to LeBron
00:07:32 The Truth About Manifestation and Cognitive Biases
00:09:40 Reframing Failure: Why You Should Never Get Over Your Fear
00:10:52 Luck Is a Skill: How Activity Creates Coincidences
00:13:27 Morning Routines Are Overrated (But Nighttime Routines Aren't)
00:14:45 Is There Such a Thing as Healthy Shame?
00:16:29 Exercise and Sobriety: The 18-Month Process Nobody Shows You
00:21:25 Overcoming Envy: You Can't Cherry-Pick Someone's Life
00:22:21 Don't Fight Your Insecurities—Befriend Them
00:22:52 YouTube vs. Blogging: Why Video Requires Better Ideas
00:25:13 Differentiate Yourself: What Needs to Be Said That Nobody's Saying?
00:26:51 Social Media Addiction: It Depends on Who's Using It
00:30:33 Goals Should Serve You, Not the Other Way Around
00:32:46 Moderation in Everything, Including Moderation
00:33:36 From Mediocre Student to Music School to Finding Writing at 27
00:36:47 Stop Optimizing Your Life: Focus on What Actually Excites You
00:38:16 Bad Life Advice: The Minimalist Trap and Why Commitments Create Meaning
00:40:02 Staying Humble While Being Ambitious
00:41:39 The Social Media Trade-Off: Choose Your Suck
00:43:06 The Brutal Truth About Music Careers: Set a Deadline
00:45:59 Social Comparison Is Human: Compare Yourself to the Right People
00:47:07 Relationship Values: When Compromise Works and When It Doesn't
00:48:57 Getting Over Your Ex: Five Steps to Mo… -
The Stoic Secrets to a Good Life (ft. Ryan Holiday)
24 april 2024 · 50 min
There’s an ancient philosophy that could actually help you give fewer f*cks, and unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard of it. Lees meer
Stoicism has been helping people manage their stress and anxiety for thousands of years and today, it’s more relevant than ever.
@ryanholiday is the New York Times Bestselling author of multiple books on Stoicism. He believes that Stoicism is the framework that can help you be a normal person in an increasingly crazy world.
Today’s episode dives into the life-altering benefits of following a philosophy that encourages you to focus on what you can control, and fuck the rest.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: Why Stoicism Resonates in the Social Media Age
00:02:01 What Do You Give Too Many Fucks About?
00:03:48 Control, Anxiety, and Why Stoicism Appealed to Ryan
00:05:29 The Unexpected Success of The Obstacle Is the Way
00:09:45 How Success Changed Ryan's Relationship with Stoicism
00:12:00 What Ryan Gives Too Few Fucks About: Presence and Relationships
00:14:06 The Pandemic Reset: Taking a Year Off and Choosing Family
00:18:39 Regret, Guilt, and Grieving the Life You Could Have Had
00:17:30 Ryan's Legendary Productivity and the Cost of Optimization
00:24:13 Carrying Your Own Weight and Making Amends
00:25:55 What Most People Give Too Many Fucks About
00:29:13 Inherited Assumptions and the Adapted Child
00:31:19 Marriage, Different Definitions, and Renegotiating Meaning
00:33:28 The Nuclear Family Trap and Unreasonable Expectations
00:35:35 What Most People Give Too Few Fucks About: Other People's Suffering
00:38:53 The Implementation Problem: Theory vs. Reality
00:42:20 The Need for Chaos: Why Some People Want to Watch the World Burn
00:44:30 The Long Game: Why Moral Progress Takes Sustained Commitment
00:47:29 Closing: Right Thing Right Now and Paying It Forward⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ G…
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7 Underrated Habits for a Better Life (and 7 Overrated Ones Too)
17 april 2024 · 50 min
I just heard about the “bed rotting” trend on social media and I think I need a minute. Lees meer
Because if the kids think staying in bed all day eating pizza and doom scrolling is a form of rejuvenation then I’m calling bullshit on self-care.
Today’s episode is a fun one. Drew and I have a long list of common self-improvement practices and I’m scoring them as overrated or underrated or, “it depends.”
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: The Overrated vs. Underrated Game
00:01:46 Goals: Why You Should Quit More Often
00:03:40 Self-Care: The Bed Rotting Problem
00:06:46 Romance Is Overrated and Why Love Isn't Enough
00:09:55 Friendship: As Important as Smoking 15 Cigarettes a Day
00:11:26 Therapy: Finding the Right Fit Matters More Than Credentials
00:17:03 Purpose: When Everything Doesn't Need to Be Meaningful
00:19:46 Dancing and Music: The Underrated Mood Intervention
00:22:43 Politics: The Reality TV Drug Ruining Your Life
00:26:24 Journaling: Properly Rated but Not All Journals Are Equal
00:30:34 Saunas Are Underrated, Cold Plunges Are Overrated
00:35:11 Psychedelics: The Clinical vs. Optimization Divide
00:41:58 God and Religion: The Atheist's Case for Church
00:47:13 Gratitude: It Depends on Who You Are⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson -
How Bad Therapy Can Harm a Generation (ft. Abigail Shrier)
10 april 2024 · 1 uur 3 min
If the story of humanity is about loss, privation, suffering, and resilience, why are kids having nervous breakdowns about bad grades? Lees meer
In today’s episode, I talked to Abigail Shrier about what parents and mental health experts are inadvertently doing to rob young people of the resilience and grit that past generations had.
It’s a spicy one. Enjoy.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: The Mental Health Paradox
00:01:14 What Inspired Bad Therapy
00:02:25 How Schools Became Therapy Sessions
00:03:44 Why Therapy Is Different for Kids
00:05:34 Defining Bad Therapy
00:09:29 The Problem With Social-Emotional Learning
00:13:13 The Fragility Epidemic: Mental Health Days and Dysregulation
00:14:16 The Power of Suggestion: How Diagnosis Creates Illness
00:15:25 Trauma Narratives and Post-Traumatic Growth
00:17:11 The Theory of Pain Relativity
00:18:18 The Barnum Effect and Mental Health Self-Diagnosis
00:19:43 Finding the Goldilocks Zone: Acknowledging Pain Without Dwelling
00:20:49 Emotional Hypochondria: Magnifying Normal Pain
00:22:33 Feeling Good vs. Being Good
00:23:39 Parents as Amateur Therapists: The Parenting Book Problem
00:24:13 Why Kids Need Authority, Not Friends
00:26:17 The Importance of Consequences and Dependability
00:30:05 The Trauma Guru Effect: Why Parents Are Afraid to Say No
00:32:15 Threat Inflation: Overprotecting in Real Life, Underprotecting Online
00:33:24 Sending Vulnerable Adults Into the World
00:33:52 How Researching the Book Changed Abigail's Parenting
00:35:32 The Collective Action Problem and Parental Insecurity
00:36:58 The Execution Gap: High Talent, Low Follow-Through
00:38:15 The Western Phenomenon: Immigrant Perspectives
00:39:27 The Latino Immigrant Paradox and Mental Health Outcomes
00:40:25 Political Differences in Mental Health: Liberal vs. Conservative Families
00:42:19 Curated Conversations and the Loss of Authenticity
00:43:40 The Quirks That Make Us Love People
00:46:39 Setting Boundaries: When the Therapist Stands Betw… -
Why It's So Hard to Make Friends as an Adult
3 april 2024 · 44 min
Making friends is hard, and unfortunately, as you get older, it gets harder. Lees meer
In this episode, we look at research behind friendships, plus the complicating factors people experience in making new friends as they get older.
And for anyone struggling with their social lives, we share practical tips on how to meet and keep new friends.
Enjoy and, good luck out there.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: Mexico City Birthday Trip and Getting Robbed
00:04:20 Why Travel Builds Intimacy Faster
00:05:33 The Four Variables That Create Friendship
00:07:59 Remote Work Is Killing Workplace Friendships
00:11:16 The Partner and Kids Problem
00:13:55 When Your Friends Have Kids
00:18:50 The Friendship Paradox of Your Twenties
00:22:46 College: The Friendship Utopia We Can't Recreate
00:24:38 Be Aggressive on Hobbies and Interests
00:31:50 The Follow-Up Problem
00:34:11 Lead With Generosity
00:36:22 The Four Levels of Friendship
00:41:47 Why Friendship Matters More Than Romance
00:42:30 Final Wisdom: If You Want a Friend, Be a Friend⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson -
Founder of Eight Companies Explains: How to Take Massive Action (ft. Noah Kagan)
27 maart 2024 · 1 uur 13 min
Social media messes with our expectations because it convinces us that we should be doing everything, everywhere, all at once. Lees meer
But the reality is that we should focus on doing one or two things extremely well, in one place, consistently over a long period of time.
Today on the pod, I talk to Noah Kagan, multi-millionaire and multi-business owner, about the type of consistency and habits that lead to wealth.
Noah created his own wealth out of self-belief, learning from failing and being careful with what he gives a fuck about. Noah’s story is compelling as he shares how he found success over decades, by never ceasing to try.
If you’re looking for some raw talk to get you motivated to go out and do cool shit, this is the episode to sink your energy into. Enjoy.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: What Don't You Give a Fuck About?
00:02:43 The Coffee Challenge: Practicing Rejection
00:03:40 Rejection Goals and Taking Action
00:15:23 Figuring Out What You Actually Want
00:18:23 The Journey to Self-Acceptance
00:19:41 Having Something to Look Forward To
00:21:08 The Quality of Your Friendships
00:23:40 Fame, Attention, and Ego
00:25:58 The Will Smith Slap and Being Human
00:32:35 The Slow Ramp Up: How Success Really Happens
00:33:41 Getting Fired From Facebook and Mint
00:44:40 The Power of Starting With One Dollar
00:38:47 Leadership, Self-Awareness, and CEO Surveys
00:51:41 Less Ambitious Goals for Longer Periods
00:55:33 YouTube, Knocking on Doors, and Asking the Right Questions
01:00:12 Mark's Failed Man-on-the-Street Video
01:01:50 The Videos Mark Is Most Proud Of
01:06:43 Hedonic Adaptation and Managing Expectations
01:10:47 Owning Your Word: The Subtle Art of Embracing Your Brand
01:12:30 Closing Thoughts: Did I Give Too Many Fucks?⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that l…
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Why Modern Society Makes Us Feel More Lonely
20 maart 2024 · 36 min
I came across some mildly terrifying statistics on loneliness and wanted to figure out what was going on. Lees meer
In this episode Drew and I break down three paradoxes we're calling “The Three Paradoxes of Modern Loneliness” and they are as follows:
We are more connected than ever, yet loneliness is at an all-time high
The more urbanized our lifestyles become, the lonelier we become
Despite being more social, young people are becoming lonelier than older people
Join us as we dig into the data and discuss why this all might be happening and what we can do about it. Check it out.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 The Loneliness Crisis: Shocking Statistics
00:00:55 Paradox 1: More Connected, More Lonely
00:02:50 The Momentum of Intimacy and Social Sorting
00:06:46 From Social Graph to Interest Graph: The TikTok Shift
00:08:30 Empty Calories: Why Digital Interactions Don't Satisfy
00:10:51 Dating Apps and the Superficiality Problem
00:14:09 The Missing Accountability: Why Everyone's Meaner Online
00:16:17 Paradox 2: Urban Loneliness in Crowded Cities
00:19:13 Social Infrastructure: The Key to Urban Connection
00:20:54 Living Alone: The 400% Increase and What It Means
00:24:00 The Marriage Question: Quality Up, Quantity Down
00:27:13 Paradox 3: Why Gen Z Is the Loneliest Generation
00:29:14 Trading Weed for TikTok: The Teen Mental Health Crisis
00:31:38 Interpersonal Neurobiology: Why Face-to-Face Matters
00:33:48 The Takeaway: We're Failing Our Kids⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/… -
Productivity Expert Explains: How to Accomplish Far More While Working Less (ft. Cal Newport)
13 maart 2024 · 1 uur 13 min
What if there was a way accomplish meaningful work—without the associated relationship breakdowns or stress? What if “making an impact” didn’t require massive amounts of energy or sacrifice? What if you could get more done by doing less? Lees meer
In this episode, I talk to Cal Newport about how knowledge work has got it all wrong. We discuss the subtle dangers of remote/digital work and the key to avoiding burnout, all while still being able to grind on the things you love.
If you’re a stressed out, overworked remote worker, this one is for you.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 The Burnout Epidemic: Why Flexibility Isn't Fixing the Problem
00:01:22 Meet Cal Newport: The Professor Who Sold 20 Million Books Without Social Media
00:02:52 What Is Slow Productivity?
00:04:17 The History of Productivity: From Factories to Knowledge Work
00:05:34 Pseudo-Productivity: The Activity Trap That's Killing Knowledge Workers
00:06:52 The Corporate Meeting Nightmare: Why Everything Takes 90 Minutes
00:08:30 Measuring Success on a Decade Scale: The John McPhee Example
00:10:52 Adapting Traditional Knowledge Work Principles to Modern Jobs
00:12:41 Take Longer: Why Doubling Your Timeline Produces Better Work
00:14:23 The Beatles and Sergeant Pepper: Balancing Ambition With Deadlines
00:18:37 Principle One: Do Fewer Things at Once
00:19:20 The Overhead Tax: Why Every Commitment Generates Hidden Work
00:20:55 Specialization Over Jack-of-All-Trades: A Team Management Lesson
00:22:16 Remote Work and the Invisible Overhead Tax
00:23:58 The Friction Paradox: Why Removing Barriers Makes Things Worse
00:26:49 Context Switching: The Productivity Poison
00:29:36 The Remote Work Paradox: Highest Satisfaction, Highest Burnout
00:31:07 Hybrid Work and the Meeting Explosion
00:33:01 Freedom as Anxiety: The Sartre Problem With Endless Options
00:36:44 Making Your Workload Transparent: The Shared Queue Solution
00:39:47 Pull vs. Push: The Manufacturing Lesson Knowledge Work Ignores
00:43:20 Video Production B… -
6 Things to Stop Doing in 2024 to Change Your Life
6 maart 2024 · 46 min
What if the answer isn’t to do more? What if the answer is to want less? Lees meer
I’ve always believed that subtracting from your life can produce better results than trying to add something. Generally, quitting a bad habit, or a bad mindset, or anything distracting, will have a bigger impact on your life than learning more.
This episode covers a few things I think we should stop doing to live a better life. Enjoy.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: 6 Things to Stop Doing in 2024
00:00:28 Stop Investing in Emotionally Unavailable People
00:03:01 The Trap of Taking People for Granted
00:03:52 Dating Apps, Addiction, and the EU Lawsuit Against Hinge
00:05:04 Stop Blaming Everyone Else for Your Problems
00:06:34 Algorithms, Social Media, and Human Nature
00:07:46 Social Media's Impact on Teenagers vs. Adults
00:09:36 Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: Instagram and Social Comparison
00:11:49 Healthy vs. Toxic Social Comparison
00:14:31 Social Media Hides the Ambiguity of Real Life
00:15:55 Stop Expecting Other People to Change
00:18:41 Why Changing Others Often Means Avoiding Changing Yourself
00:19:30 The Evolution of Giving Advice: From Arrogance to Humility
00:21:36 Be the Counterargument, Don't Make the Counterargument
00:23:05 Stop Burying Your Emotions: The Intellectualization Trap
00:24:38 Memory Gaps and Suppressed Emotions
00:26:28 The Balance Between Suppressing and Overindulging Emotions
00:28:15 Real Vulnerability vs. TikTok Vulnerability
00:30:46 Vulnerability, Honesty, and Freedom Are Linked
00:31:35 The Mental Health Conversation Problem
00:32:48 Stop Sacrificing Sleep for Productivity or Fun
00:34:30 The Individual Nature of Sleep Flexibility
00:36:30 Stop Drinking: Drew's Two-Year Sobriety Journey
00:38:29 What Sobriety Reveals About Yourself and Your Relationships
00:40:32 When Self-Destructiveness Was Cool
00:42:50 The 90s Rock Culture: A Retrospective
00:44:21 When You Don't Have Real Problems, You Invent Them⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your N…
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The Surprising Benefits of Working Weird and Awful Jobs (ft. Derek Sivers)
28 februari 2024 · 1 uur 7 min
Successful people talk a lot about what made them successful. But they're rarely asked about all the things that went wrong. Lees meer
What about all of the things that failed? Or all the times they got fired? Embarrassed themselves? Spent time in jobs that were just plain weird or awful?
No one asks this stuff. Until now of course.
In this episode, I talk to my friend Derek Sivers about the weird and awful jobs that eventually led him to become a millionaire. From circus ringleader to founder of one the most successful music start-ups of our time, this guy has a story to tell.
Derek Sivers is the author of four books, founder of CD Baby which he sold for $22 million (then gave most of it away), and just an all-around badass.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: The Jobs That Didn't Work Out
00:01:44 The $75 Pig Show That Changed Everything
00:04:53 The Professional Pest: Getting Paid to Annoy College Students
00:08:50 Mark's Investment Banking Disaster
00:13:50 The Metaphorical Time Zone and Corporate Reality
00:17:48 Class Reunions and Working for Dreams, Not Money
00:19:46 Telemarketing and the Art of Not Being Yourself
00:24:30 Identity, Authenticity, and Cultural Differences
00:26:42 Mark's Three-Week Career as a Bouncer
00:30:07 The Value of Weird Jobs and Empathy
00:30:52 Comfort as a Trap and Keeping Your Baseline Low
00:42:22 Home as a Place With No Obstacles
00:34:14 Quitting the Marathon: When Goals Don't Serve You
00:35:25 The Landmark Forum and Life Having No Inherent Meaning
00:38:10 Investing in Skills Over Paychecks
00:31:51 The Horizon Principle: Why Hardship Doesn't Feel Hard
00:39:42 What Cities Whisper: New York, Luxury, and Success
00:48:12 Being Around Greatness: Geography and Ambition
00:44:22 How Derek Became a Japanese Rock Star
00:55:46 Alan Tepper and Creating Your Own Job
00:58:39 Mark's Career as a Men's Dating Coach
01:01:40 Transactional Thinking and Missing Father Figures
01:03:59 The Teacher Learns More Than the Student
01:06:34 Wr… -
6 Important Truths No One Likes to Hear
21 februari 2024 · 46 min
The most important truths in life are the ones we don’t like to hear. Lees meer
In fact, I managed to make an entire career out of sharing these types of truths because the stuff we don’t like hearing is often what we need to hear the most.
In this episode I have a lot of fun going through—one-by-one—six nuggets of wisdom, designed to make us all less awful humans. So saddle up bitches, I’m here to break hearts today.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: Important Truths No One Likes to Hear
00:00:32 Truth 1: If You Think You Have a Problem, You Do
00:02:51 The Backwards Law and Gratitude Practices
00:07:55 Why Your Solutions Stop Working Over Time
00:09:44 California Groupthink and Finding Your People
00:12:14 Truth 2: Sexy Results Come From Boring Work
00:15:41 Music School, Practice Rooms, and Perfectionism
00:17:29 Exercise: Consistency Beats Extreme Workouts
00:18:47 Truth 3: Consistency Matters More Than Intensity
00:20:47 Relationships Need Small Gestures, Not Grand Ones
00:22:32 Kevin Kelly's Parenting Advice and High Leverage Moments
00:26:42 Marathon Training: Run Slow to Get Fast
00:26:58 Truth 4: People Feel About You How You Feel About Yourself
00:30:06 Breaking the Vicious Cycle: Setting Your First Boundaries
00:31:39 Truth 5: You'll Look Back on Today's Problems With Nostalgia
00:34:27 Learning to Appreciate Struggle in the Moment
00:37:53 The Bittersweetness of Hard Times
00:39:33 Truth 6: The Only Common Factor in Your Problems Is You
00:40:43 Mark and Fernanda's Community Problem Across Three Cities
00:42:31 Locus of Control and The Responsibility-Fault Fallacy
00:45:29 Recap: Six Truths No One Wants to Hear⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
F…
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What Everyone Gets Wrong About Mental Health (ft. Lori Gottlieb)
14 februari 2024 · 53 min
Could it be that today’s increased awareness about emotions, and our obsession with mental health issues, are actually causing more mental health issues? More people are doing therapy, but are those people potentially doing it wrong? Lees meer
Therapist, counselor, and author Lori Gottlieb says that a lot of our culture’s approach to mental health is wrong.
In today’s podcast, we discuss what it takes to do therapy effectively. We discuss the prevalence of mental health content online and why that may be a bad thing. We talk about how people’s misunderstandings of vulnerability and boundaries can backfire. And we get into the effect social media might be having on this.
Enjoy.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: What If We're Getting Therapy Wrong?
00:01:25 How to Actually Do Therapy Well
00:03:25 Idiot Compassion vs. Wise Compassion
00:04:31 The Presenting Problem vs. The Real Problem
00:06:28 The Prisoner Shaking the Bars
00:08:23 Coming to Unknow Yourself
00:09:55 How to Take Advice Well and the Help-Rejecting Complainer
00:13:40 Defense Mechanisms: Why We Cling to What Hurts Us
00:15:40 The Toxic Rescuer Dynamic
00:18:03 The Stages of Change and Why Maintenance Matters Most
00:20:53 The Ripple Effects of Change Nobody Talks About
00:21:59 When Your Partner Doesn't Want You to Change
00:24:09 Small Changes vs. Extreme Overhauls
00:25:27 The Mental Health Crisis Paradox
00:26:43 Why Men Think They're the Only Ones
00:30:00 The Permission to Be Human
00:32:30 The Danger of Trauma Inflation and Concept Creep
00:33:49 Rupture and Repair: The Lost Art of Relationship
00:34:50 The Prevalence Inflation Hypothesis
00:36:51 Performative Vulnerability vs. Real Vulnerability
00:38:30 Choose Your Audience: Vulnerability Isn't for Everyone
00:40:02 Boundaries Are With Yourself, Not Others
00:41:18 The Cut-Off Culture and the Loneliness Epidemic
00:43:28 Flexibility: The Number One Quality in a Partner
00:44:11 Sometimes the Friction Is the Point
00:45:23 When Therapy Become… -
3 Questions That Determine 99% of Your Happiness
7 februari 2024 · 33 min
We all overestimate how much you have to do to actually be happy. Lees meer
But what if I told you that achieving happiness is much simpler than you think? That’s right, the smallest lifestyle changes can have the most unexpected knock-on effects towards positive change. It’s actually quite incredible once you experience it.
In today’s episode of the pod, we delve into the 3 of the most important questions that you can ask yourself in determining your own levels of happiness. These are questions worth asking.
Make me happy by liking and reviewing the episode. Make someone else happy by sharing it with them.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: The Three Questions That Determine Happiness
00:00:39 Question 1: How Well Am I Treating My Body?
00:02:32 The Spiritual Side of Self-Discipline
00:03:02 Mark's Health Journey: From External to Internal Motivation
00:04:04 The Surprising Benefits of Quitting Alcohol
00:07:03 The Knock-On Effects: How Feeling Good Changes Everything
00:08:26 Question 2: Who Am I Spending My Time With and Why?
00:11:03 Don't Take Good Friends for Granted
00:13:16 The Loneliness Epidemic and the Harvard Study
00:15:19 The Hippies Were Right: It's All About Love
00:16:05 Question 3: What Am I Working On and Why?
00:16:55 Cal Newport's Insight: Get Good First, Passion Follows
00:18:43 The Secretary Who Loved Her Job for 60 Years
00:19:54 Why Your Hobby Should Stay a Hobby
00:22:28 Drew's Woodworking: A Case Study in Pure Passion
00:24:47 Mark's Profound Realization: I Love the Business, Not Just Writing
00:27:45 Grading Ourselves on the Three Questions
00:29:36 Mark's Social Life Challenge: Finding Community While Sober
00:31:04 California Sober and LA Party Culture
00:32:02 Wrap-Up and Newsletter Invitation⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, …
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The Self-Improvement Paradox: When Trying to Get Better Feels Worse
31 januari 2024 · 32 min
What do you do when trying to improve your life makes you feel worse? What if trying to be better comes across as ‘try-hard’? What if setting more goals is just your way of avoiding your own bullshit?
This is the topic of discussion in today’s episode, “The Self-Improvement Paradox”—or in other words, why sometimes trying to be better makes you feel worse. It turns out improving yourself is nuanced and complicated.
Who would have thought?
Check it out.
CHAPTERS
Chapters Lees meer00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:37 Question #1: When is improving yourself being try-hard?
00:10:35 Question #2: How do you balance improving yourself with accepting yourself?
00:20:14 Question #3: Is too much self-esteem really that big of a problem?⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person:
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson -
Sex, Drugs, and Money Might Actually Make You Happier (ft. Sonja Lyubomirsky)
24 januari 2024 · 53 min
Imagine if you could sit down with one of the world’s leading happiness researchers and ask her, one by one, what actually makes people happier and what doesn’t?
Well, that’s basically what I did.
In this episode, Sonja and I get deep into the subject of happiness. One by one, we conclude which of life’s simple and not-so-simple pleasures are underrated or overrated. Some of the answers will definitely surprise you.
Do yourself a favor—watch, like, and share the happiness.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Lees meer -
5 Life-Changing Lessons From Visiting 75 Countries
17 januari 2024 · 40 min
If you’ve ever been stuck working some BS desk job thinking there’s got to be more to life, then you were right. There’s travel. Lees meer
High-quality, intentional travel is one of the most transformational experiences a person can have. Without a doubt, my 10 years living abroad made me more confident, more self-assured, and ultimately more educated about the world and the people in it.
It also informed a lot of the philosophy that I've written about over the past 10 years—the counterintuitive approach that so many people have come to love.
This episode dives into the key takeaways I got from my years of traveling. I can’t be sure, but I think they might inspire you as much as they have me. Enjoy.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:42 How it all began
00:04:18 Lesson #1: Everything is a trade-off
00:08:48 Lesson #2: Happiness is cheap, dignity is expensive
00:16:52 Lesson #3: Solo travel is great for personal development
00:22:07 Lesson #4: Most people are good
00:28:27 Lesson #5: Some cultures produce better outcomes than others
00:36:32 Mark’s travel tips⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson -
Why Everyone's Social Skills Are Getting Worse (ft. David Brooks)
10 januari 2024 · 52 min
People are becoming increasingly lonely and are unable to relate to one another. Yet we have more access to more people than ever before. What's going on? Is it technology? Is social media replacing our sense of community with the empty calories of the sweet, sweet For You feed? Or maybe it’s the deterioration of the nuclear family — fewer kids are being born and being raised by fewer parents. Or is it the lack of religion in public life? Or the geographic exodus from small towns and communities towards big anonymous cities? Or the economic inequality and complete loss of work/life balance? These are questions that I, and renowned journalist and author David Brooks, unpack together as we nose dive into the social and emotional disconnect of millions of people.Need lessons on how to talk to the barista making your coffee? Looking to build a better relationship with Gary from across the fence? This episode won’t make you a master of communication overnight, but it’s a fascinating conversation packed with useful insight from beginning to end.Listen to it.
David Brooks on Twitter @nytdavidbrooks: https://twitter.com/nytdavidbrooksDavid Brooks’ column: https://www.nytimes.com/column/david-brooksDavid's new book “How to Know a Person:” https://www.amazon.com/How-Know-Person-Seeing-Others/dp/059323006X
CHAPTERS
Chapters Lees meer00:00:00 Introduction
00:02:46 Why we’re in a social crisis
00:05:55 The harsh judgment of social media
00:08:06 The growth of distrust
00:10:57 The decline of the traditional family
00:15:14 On communitarian cultures
00:16:24 Making America more “relationalist”
00:18:19 The Scandinavian and Israeli success
00:20:33 Is this success replicable in a diverse society?
00:23:32 The vice of today’s generation
00:29:19 David’s take on politics
00:32:11 Mark on the evolution of self-help
00:33:57 The recession of religion
00:38:33 Friction is the point
00:39:46 The “second mountain”
00:46:42 What we’re really motivated by
00:49:55 Can we go straight to the “secon… -
What Everyone Gets Wrong About Goals
4 januari 2024 · 40 min
It’s 2024 and hopefully you haven’t already given up on your goals for the year. Lees meer
Today, we’re going to talk about the best and worst ways to set goals. We’ll talk about the factors that make you more likely to achieve your goals, why you lose motivation by week three, and the most common error everyone makes when deciding to change themselves for the better. We’ll also be sharing some of our personal goal disasters along the way to learn what not to do.
We’d also like you to share your goals with us! Details on how to do that are here.
Happy New Year.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 | Introduction
00:01:07 | Mistake #1: Aiming too high
00:03:01 | Mistake #2: Doing everything at once
00:09:29 | Mistake #3: Neglecting systems
00:13:26 | Mistake #4: Not making it fun
00:16:19 | Mistake #5: Making it too easy
00:17:13 | Mistake #6: Doing it for others
00:25:12 | Extrinsic vs intrinsic motivation in goal setting
00:30:18 | Mark’s 2024 goal
00:34:43 | Drew’s 2024 goal
00:41:32 | Your 2024 goals⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson -
How to Enjoy Doing Hard Things (ft. Ali Abdaal)
27 december 2023 · 49 min
It’s easy to assume that the hustle culture or “the grind” is all about pain and suffering. But as you’ll learn today, this simply isn’t true. Lees meer
In today’s episode, I’m talking to Ali Abdaal, a former medical doctor turned YouTuber and author of the new book, Feel-Good Productivity. Ali has attracted millions of global followers to his ideas on productivity and working because he’s managed to do what others have not: actually make it fun. It turns out that finding ways to make your work fun doesn’t just make you hate your life less, it actually makes you more productive.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 | Introduction
00:03:38 | Our biggest misconception about productivity
00:05:38 | Emotions and productivity
00:08:47 | Mark’s epiphany on book writing
00:10:12 | Compounding returns on productivity
00:12:09 | Should we have zero distractions?
00:14:38 | Skills behind Ali’s success as a doctor and YouTuber
00:18:12 | What happens when you stop having fun
00:19:15 | “It’s all creative work”
00:22:26 | Making fitness fun
00:27:07 | The two types of productivity advice
00:32:55 | Can work-life balance get you to success?
00:35:27 | How to “feel good” in productivity
00:39:21 | The problem with caring too much what others think
00:42:52 | Experimentation as Ali’s way of life⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson -
How to Stop Wasting Your Life (ft. Oliver Burkeman)
20 december 2023 · 40 min
Do you worry that you might be wasting your life? That you’re doing things that don’t feel important? Are you constantly anxious about your to-do list? Lees meer
Is your mind blown that it’s 2024 already?!?
This week, I’ve enlisted the help of my friend Oliver Burkeman, author of the bestseller Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, to help us get a handle on using time wisely.
In this episode, we’re going to look at how our perception of time shapes our self-image, how it’s often advantageous to choose to be bad at something, why people-pleasing doesn’t actually please people, and a whole lot more.
Oliver Burkeman is a renowned journalist and author, known for his unique ability to seamlessly blend philosophy and psychology to bring a fresh and counterintuitive take to classic self-help subjects.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 | Introduction
00:03:22 | Our relationship with time
00:05:49 | A better way of looking at time
00:07:32 | “Strategic underachievement”
00:11:16 | How to stop people-pleasing
00:14:58 | Being a net positive at social events
00:18:45 | “Don’t try to change the world”
00:21:01 | Our toxic relationship with time and the art of “being present”
00:30:41 | “Effortless action”
00:32:53 | Buddhist influences on Oliver’s work
00:37:51 | Our primary misconception about time management
00:39:01 | Oliver’s final word of wisdom⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person:
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
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7 Paradoxes That Will Change How You See Everything
13 december 2023 · 36 min
Some of the most important truths in life are found in paradoxes. Paradoxes seem like opposites on the surface, but once you look deeper beneath what are seeming contradictions, there are real grains of wisdom that emerge. Lees meer
In this episode, I cover some of the most life-changing paradoxes I’ve ever come across, and discuss how they can improve how you approach your life.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 | Introduction
00:00:49 | Paradox #1: The more choices you have, the less happy you will be
00:07:25 | Paradox #2: Hard choices, easy life
00:11:45 | Paradox #3: What you hate in others, you’re avoiding in yourself
00:17:35 | Paradox #4: The more afraid you are of failing, the more likely you are to fail
00:21:48 | Paradox #5: The more something makes you uncomfortable, the more you should do it
00:26:15 | Paradox #6: The more connected we get, the more isolated we feel
00:31:10 | Paradox #7: The more afraid you are of death, the less you will enjoy life⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at
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How to Give Up Everything to Save Yourself (ft. Matt from Yes Theory)
7 december 2023 · 1 uur 2 min
In 2021, Matt from Yes Theory, one of YouTube's biggest channels, revealed he was quitting the platform.Despite being an internet celebrity, Matt's story is a common one—about someone who gave away too much of themselves to be liked by others, and now desperately trying to get themselves back. In this episode, Matt and I unpack this familiar dilemma, as well as covering topics like codependence, managing success, dealing with parasocial relationships, determining when vulnerability goes too far, and much more. Lees meer
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction
00:01:59 Why Matt’s giving up his dream
00:09:00 The challenges fame brings
00:14:14 How to mature in the spotlight
00:17:45 The incredible story of Yes Theory
00:21:53 Losing boundaries in the world of fame
00:26:54 Performing, not living
00:27:58 How much of yourself to share as a creator
00:35:44 Matt’s top tip for being a creator
00:37:29 Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation in creative work
00:43:52 Matt’s biggest takeaway from his career
00:48:06 How Matt went from hating to loving his book
00:51:56 What makes the Yes Theory team work
00:53:54 What’s next for Matt
00:57:28 Fuck, Marry, Kill⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://bit.ly/4w46FMH
FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
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7 Life Lessons I Wish I Knew Sooner
29 november 2023 · 39 min
A comprehensive list of lessons you shouldn’t wait too long to learn. Lees meer
In this episode, I’m sharing 7 important lessons I learned far too late in life. I’m doing this so that you don’t have to live through as many clusterfucks as I did to find a bit of peace in life.
Some of these lessons you may already know, some may surprise you. But they’re all guaranteed to help you live a better life.
This is your one and only chance to not repeat my godawful mistakes. So get into it.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction
00:00:36 Lesson #1: People respect you only as much as you respect yourself
00:06:02 Lesson #2: You give power to those you blame
00:10:40 Lesson #3: The quality of your relationships dictates the quality of your life
00:17:31 Lesson #4: People aren't thinking about you as much as you think they are
00:23:39 Lesson #5: Nothing meaningful in life is easy
00:28:38 Lesson #6: Love occurs in proportion to your willingness to get hurt
00:34:36 Lesson #7: Be slow to judge. Everyone is doing their best⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at
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Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson
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Is Technology Ruining Our Minds? (ft. Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD)
23 november 2023 · 1 uur 2 min
Do I exist if I’m not on social media? Can I fake it till I make it? What’s the secret to a good life? Lees meer
In this week’s episode, I enlist my old friend and host of the wildly popular The Psychology Podcast, Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD. to dissect our psyche in the social media age.
Reflecting on his personal experience and drawing on a wealth of psychological research, Scott asks—and answers—questions that might reveal aspects of yourself you never knew were there, and set you on the path to a better life.
We’re going to dive deep and get existential. We’re going to talk neurodiversity, vulnerability, and Batman. What more can you ask for?
Exactly. Go get it.
CHAPTERS
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: From Special Ed to the Top 0.05%
00:02:22 Breaking Out: The Teacher Who Changed Everything
00:05:36 The Problem With Standardized Testing and IQ
00:07:54 Neurodivergence: When a Term Loses Its Meaning
00:10:12 The Identity Crisis Generation
00:13:43 Confident Vulnerability vs. Lowercase vulnerability
00:18:57 Social Media and the Anxious Generation
00:20:56 Do You Exist Without a Social Media Presence?
00:24:10 The Legibility Problem: When Status Games Go Public
00:27:16 Scott's Twitter Break and Living Without the Algorithm
00:28:46 Mastery Goals vs. Performance Goals
00:31:58 When Psychological Concepts Get Watered Down
00:34:37 Healthy Authenticity: Four Components That Matter
00:36:13 Fake It Till You Make It: Does It Actually Work?
00:39:18 Behavioral Activation: Act First, Think Later
00:44:28 Just Get in the Arena
00:46:56 The Victimhood Mentality Across All Groups
00:50:28 The Self-Help Industry's Dirty Secret
00:51:49 Fuck, Marry, Kill: Psychology Edition
00:55:25 The Truth About Therapy Effectiveness⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person:
⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Ge…
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How to Know When to End a Relationship
15 november 2023 · 39 min
Make up or break up? Knowing when to call it quits.
If you’ve ever been through a rough patch, you know this is a painful question to answer. Do you stick it out? Do you cut the cord and run? Do you sacrifice more to make it work? Do you demand your partner give up everything and run away to Fiji and live happily ever after?
These are the hard questions we answer in this episode.
To help us figure this out, I’m going to be roasting viewers’ relationships with their partners. I’m going to go over five real-world examples sent in from you, fans struggling with relationships, and in the process I’m going to share the three questions we must all ask ourselves to figure out if it’s time to break up.
So get your hot sauce ready, because shit’s about to get spicy. Maybe even have your partner join you for this one. It could be fun… or it could ruin your marriage.
CHAPTERS
Chapters Lees meer00:00:00 Introduction: The Most Painful Question in Any Relationship
00:02:08 Question 1: When Your Partner Won't Take Responsibility
00:03:57 The First Essential Question: Are Both People Putting In Equal Effort?
00:08:40 Question 2: When Personal Growth Disrupts the Relationship
00:10:30 Identity Formation and Growing Apart vs. Growing Together
00:15:34 Question 3: Living Your Partner's Dream Instead of Your Own
00:16:56 What Real Compromise Looks Like: Mitigating Misery, Not Maximizing Happiness
00:22:09 The Second Essential Question: Are Compromises Making Things Better or Worse?
00:23:30 Question 4: The Commitment-Phobe Who Found Someone Perfect
00:25:52 Don't Break Up Over Mirages: The Power of Individual Identity in Relationships
00:29:16 Question 5: Three Breakups in Two Years and the Guilt of Walking Away
00:32:38 Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships: Feelings vs. Behaviors
00:35:27 The Third Essential Question: Are You Compromising Hoping They'll Change?
00:37:32 Final Takeaways: The Three Questions That Determine If You Should Stay or Go⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakth…
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What Nobody Tells You About Getting Rich (ft. Morgan Housel)
8 november 2023 · 1 uur 3 min
Everybody wants to get rich. But is the pursuit of wealth really about the money, or are we actually chasing something much deeper?
These are just a couple of the fun ideas I toss around in this episode with Morgan Housel, New York Times Bestselling author of the smash hit, The Psychology of Money, which has sold more than four million copies worldwide.
We’ll dig deep to uncover our relationship with money, answer the timeless question “Will getting rich make me happy?” and share some of Morgan’s best investing tips.
So put away your spreadsheets, step away from the credit card, and for god’s sake stop trading crypto for five seconds, and settle in for this one. We might just make you filthy fucking rich.
CHAPTERS
Chapters Lees meer00:00:00 Introduction: Morgan Housel and The Psychology of Money
00:01:34 Why We Attach Moral Value to Wealth
00:02:58 The Relative Nature of Wealth and the Never-Ending Treadmill
00:03:55 Social Media and the Quantification of Status
00:06:49 Sustainability Over Short-Term Wins
00:09:14 Does Money Change You or Expose Who You Already Are?
00:12:11 The Hedonic Treadmill and the Pain of Losing Wealth
00:15:16 Learning to Handle Market Volatility and Panic Selling
00:18:11 Social Media, Meme Stocks, and the Death of Historical Evidence
00:19:57 The Velocity of Modern Markets and Why Individual Trading Fails
00:25:03 The Hidden Costs and Complications of Wealth
00:27:21 Money Doesn't Buy Happiness, It Buys Away Unhappiness
00:29:14 Social Debt: The Hidden Tax on Every Dollar of Wealth
00:30:38 The Quest for the Simple Life and Why Billionaires Divorce
00:36:00 Does Wealth Change Your Politics?
00:36:47 Raising Kids and Money: The Allowance System and Avoiding Spoiled Children
00:41:25 Nature vs. Nurture: Do Some People Just Have the Money Mind?
00:44:14 The Power of a Single Compliment and Finding Your Path
00:49:03 Same as Ever: What Never Changes in Human Behavior
00:52:53 Why Human Connection Will Always Trump AI
00:55:12 The Best and Worst Thin…