Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

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158 afleveringen, van nieuw naar oud

  1. Is It Our ADHD, OCD, and PTSD? Or Is It Us?

    6 oktober 2025 · 56 min

    Afspelen
    A couple sits down with Esther Perel to untangle trust, control, and intimacy after becoming parents. He feels weighed down by anxiety and responsibility; she struggles with ADHD, resistance to structure, and fears of falling short in her art career. Their love is strong, but everyday tensions spiral into power struggles. Esther challenges them to move beyond their labels and find a new connection. Lees meer

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  2. Breaking News Has Broken Us

    29 september 2025 · 52 min

    Afspelen
    This is a classic session of How's Work? A large and scattered network of journalists meet for a virtual session with Esther. Over the past year, they've reported on the biggest stories of their careers, but they are burned out, isolated, grieving, and disconnected from the very thing that supports and energizes them all: their newsroom. Lees meer

    Over the last few years, workplace culture has been transformed by remote work, inconsistent in-office presence, and an intergenerational workforce. Where Should We Begin? At Work is a new game designed to transform your work culture – one story and one relationship at a time. Brought to you by Esther Perel and Culture Amp, this isn’t your typical icebreaker. It’s a new data-backed game that will help you create community at work. Details at https://game.estherperel.com/products/where-should-we-begin-at-work

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  3. Will This Heartbreak Ever End?

    22 september 2025 · 52 min

    Afspelen
    Nothing changes us quite like our first love—or our first heartbreak. After falling in love for the first time in his late twenties, he now finds himself navigating the pain of his first breakup. He comes to Esther in search of clarity, healing, and a way forward. Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one time, one hour interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  4. I’m Afraid of Losing More Than Just the Business

    15 september 2025 · 51 min

    Afspelen
    She’s watching the company she co-founded unravel—strained partnerships, family entanglements, and the weight of guilt, anger, and responsibility pulling her in every direction. Now she wants to ask Esther: how can she protect her relationship with her brothers but still free herself to move on to what’s next? Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Over the last few years, workplace culture has been transformed by remote work, inconsistent in-office presence, and an intergenerational workforce. Where Should We Begin? At Work is a new game designed to transform your work culture – one story and one relationship at a time. Brought to you by Esther Perel and Culture Amp, this isn’t your typical icebreaker. It’s a new data-backed game that will help you create community at work. Details at https://game.estherperel.com/products/where-should-we-begin-at-work

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  5. A Secret I Can't Even Tell My Therapist

    8 september 2025 · 47 min

    Afspelen
    Their marriage was turbulent and the divorce is now two years behind her—but she still can’t let him go. Torn between the part of her that knows it was unhealthy and the part that still longs for him, she’s preparing to see her ex again, keeping it a secret from everyone—including her therapist. Esther helps her delve into the importance of reconciling the different parts of herself and the role of her current therapist in her journey. Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  6. Still Single at 40

    25 augustus 2025 · 30 min

    Afspelen
    In this classic Esther Calling, Esther meets a man who’s never been in a relationship for more than five months. As he approaches age 40, he knows the reason lies with him, and not the women he’s dating. Esther encourages him to look back and see if the clues can be found in his early parental relationships. Perhaps the work starts there. Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  7. Grief Begins With Love With Julia Samuel

    18 augustus 2025 · 37 min

    Afspelen
    Psychotherapist and bestselling author Julia Samuel invites us into a profound exploration of the twin forces of love and loss. With warmth and wisdom, she examines how grief reshapes us, how love anchors us, and how the interplay between the two defines the human experience. In a culture that often avoids pain and over-romanticizes connection, she offers a more honest, more tender path: one that honors vulnerability, embraces emotional truth, and helps us find meaning in both sorrow and joy. Lees meer

    For more from Julia Samuel go to https://www.juliasamuel.co.uk/ Her books are Grief Works, This Too Shall Pass, and Every Family Has a Story. Julia’s Sub Stack Community is her personal space for meditations, weekly reflections, resources and videos on mental health and emotional well-being, including exclusive community webinars for paid subscribers: https://juliasamuel.substack.com/ Her podcast,Therapy Works, is available at https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/therapy-works/id1646616622 and her instagram is @juliasamuelmbe.

    This panel was recorded at Esther Perel’s Annual Sessions Live event, entitled Mating in the Metacrisis: Connection, Polarization, and Eroticism in a World on Edge. For more information on the event and how you can watch it now, please go to www.estherperel.com
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  8. Friendship - My Reliable Gift

    11 augustus 2025 · 59 min

    Afspelen
    This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? In a Where Should We Begin first, Esther sits down with two friends. They’ve been close for so long they feel like brothers, with all of the baggage that comes with family but none of the certainty. There are things that go unspoken between them, issues they have skimmed over in their two decades of friendship. Esther creates the space for the conversation they didn't know quite where to begin. This session was recorded in collaboration with NPR's Invisibilia and a sibling episode with Esther can be heard on their podcast this week as well. Lees meer

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  9. I Fell For My Best Friend

    4 augustus 2025 · 42 min

    Afspelen
    He fell in love with his best friend. But when his best friend reconnected with an ex, it was too much to bear and he had to end the friendship. He wonders how to let himself fall in love again and move into the next chapter of his life. Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  10. Stuck in the Middle

    28 juli 2025 · 28 min

    Afspelen
    He prides himself on being an empathic confidante to his friends…but is it to a fault? In this classic episode of Esther Calling, we meet a man fed up with being the container for his friends’ relationship woes. But, he wonders, can put up barriers without losing the intimacy of those friendships? Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    For the month of July, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on important topics like sexlessness, infidelity, or the perils of modern dating. It's also a place to follow up with couples and find out where their stories went. You'll also get an ad-free version of all the episodes.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  11. Two Conversations Esther Wants You To Hear From Sessions Live

    21 juli 2025 · 48 min

    Afspelen
    Esther presents two conversations you have to hear from her clinical conference, Sessions Live. Listen in as psychiatrist and narrative therapist Paul Browde traces his journey from secrecy to aliveness. Growing up queer under apartheid and later diagnosed with HIV, Browde shares how stigma, silence, and shame shaped his early life and professional path. Through storytelling, erotic healing, and spiritual practice, he reclaims pleasure not as indulgence, but as a portal to connection, presence, and transformation. Lees meer

    Later in the episode, licensed therapist and New York Times bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab offers a clear, compassionate roadmap for navigating boundaries in relationships. Boundaries do not have to mean endings. In fact, boundaries can be a way for us to connect. She explores how boundary-setting is not about pushing people away but about creating the conditions for healthy connection. In a time when many feel overstretched, overwhelmed, or emotionally enmeshed, she reminds us that boundaries are a vital act of self-respect—and a necessary foundation for mutual care.

    These panels were recorded at Esther Perel’s Annual Sessions Live event, entitled Mating in the Metacrisis: Connection, Polarization, and Eroticism in a World on Edge. For more information on the event and how you can watch it now, please go to www.estherperel.com

    For the month of July, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on important topics like sexlessness, infidelity, or the perils of modern dating. It's also a place to follow up with couples and find out where their stories went. You'll also get an ad-free version of all the episodes.
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  12. Can Our College Friendship Survive Adulthood?

    14 juli 2025 · 1 uur 2 min

    Afspelen
    Friendship is a key thread of the social fabric. But what happens when the thread starts to fray? Lees meer

    They met in college and have been close for a decade. Now, with long-term partners in the mix, their once-easy bond is under strain. Resentments—some spoken, many not—have started to pile up. Can their friendship adapt to this new phase of life? Or will it unravel? Esther offers them both some hope.

    Topic: Relationships with Family & Friends

    For the month of July, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on important topics like sexlessness, infidelity or the perils of modern dating. It's also a place to follow up with couples and find out where their stories went. You'll also get an ad free version of all the episodes.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  13. What Now? with Trevor Noah - Meet Esther Perel - One of My Favorite People

    7 juli 2025 · 2 uur 12 min

    Afspelen
    This week on Where Should We Begin we are sharing a very special episode of What Now? with Trevor Noah. Esther joins Trevor for a heartfelt conversation about the power of friendship. As Esther reflects on her childhood and the experiences that shaped her journey, the two explore how meaningful relationships help us grow—often through our challenges, humor, and even a little friction. From unexpected places like the laundromat to deep conversations with old friends, this episode invites us to consider how friendships can ground us, push us, and ultimately strengthen the communities we build together. All summer long, Esther will be diving deeper into the role of connection and community in our lives. Lees meer

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter

    For the month of July, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on important topics like sexlessness, infidelity or the perils of modern dating. It's also a place to follow up with couples and find out where their stories went. You'll also get an ad free version of all the episodes.
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  14. Never Been In a Long Term Relationship, Scared I Don't Know How To Do This

    30 juni 2025 · 46 min

    Afspelen
    He's 42 and is in his first real relationship. And he's panicking. He's afraid he doesn't know how to be in a true romantic partnership. With Esther's help, he explores how his past has contributed to his fears of intimacy and abandonment. Lees meer

    Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  15. Esther says "Run!"

    23 juni 2025 · 52 min

    Afspelen
    Does loving him come with a price? After four months of dating, he’s asking her to cut ties with all of her exes. Is this a sign of love and commitment—or a red flag? In this episode, Esther unpacks the deeper dynamics at play: boundaries, control, trust, and the stories we tell ourselves about loyalty. Esther challenges the caller to consider what she may be giving up in the name of love—and what it might cost her in the long run. Lees meer

    Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  16. I Want To Fit In, But I Don't Want To Fit In

    16 juni 2025 · 59 min

    Afspelen
    She is a single mother by choice. She lives in a very tight knit community with very traditional values. Now that her child is almost one, she's ready to date again but doesn't know where to begin. She seeks Esther's advice on how to embrace her new identity as a mom, find a suitable partner, and how to manage the community expectations on her choices. Lees meer

    Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  17. First He Loved Bombed Me And Then It Was Over

    9 juni 2025 · 53 min

    Afspelen
    She's grappling with the aftermath of a tumultuous relationship with a narcissistic partner. First, he love bombed her and made her feel special only to turn manipulative and aggressive in a time of need following her father's death. She doesn't know how to bounce back or how she will learn to trust again. Lees meer

    Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  18. Terms & Conditions May Apply: What We All Need to Know About Modern Dating

    2 juni 2025 · 49 min

    Afspelen
    Dating often comes with a lot of questions. Who gets to say what they want? Who gets to be chosen? Who gets to choose? Should I stay on/off the apps? How much do I share, when, and how? This week, Esther gets set up on a blind date of sorts with three people, all deeply invested in the world of modern dating, to talk through what it's like out there and how she can help them navigate IRL dates. Lees meer

    Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  19. I Took My Boss to Therapy

    19 mei 2025 · 1 uur 3 min

    Afspelen
    This is a classic session, from the second season of How's Work? From day one, they’ve described their relationship as “tumultuous," but there are highs as well as lows. One is new to the work force, the other is new to this particular work place. One manages the other. And while they like each other on a personal level, they clash over their fundamentally different approaches to getting the job done. Lees meer

    Over the last few years, workplace culture has been transformed by remote work, inconsistent in-office presence, and an intergenerational workforce. Where Should We Begin? At Work is a new game designed to transform your work culture – one story and one relationship at a time. Brought to you by Esther Perel and Culture Amp, this isn’t your typical icebreaker. It’s a new data-backed game that will help you create community at work. Details at https://game.estherperel.com/products/where-should-we-begin-at-work
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  20. I Waited for You to be Ready but Now I’m 40 and Childless

    12 mei 2025 · 49 min

    Afspelen
    They were in love for 6 years and building a life together. They froze embryos and agreed on a timeline for getting pregnant. But when the time came, he wavered, and the relationship fell apart. Now she finds herself alone, angry, scared, and having to rethink her definition of family. She asks Esther, how she can remain hopeful when everything feels so lost? Lees meer

    Topic - Conflict & Polarization

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  21. I Leave First So You Can't Abandon Me

    5 mei 2025 · 51 min

    Afspelen
    This week, Esther talks to a caller who often feels let down by her friends. She longs for deeper and more meaningful relationships and worries she is perhaps expecting too much from them. Together, they explore how the emotional responses tied to her past influence her current relationships with friends and her mom. Lees meer

    Topic - Relationships with Family & Friends

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  22. Stuck Between My Daughter and My Husband

    28 april 2025 · 45 min

    Afspelen
    A mother comes to Esther for help dealing with the escalating conflicts between her husband and their teenage daughter. She's tired of being caught in the middle and blamed by both sides. Together, they explore the family dynamics and the need for both parents to take responsibility for the relational space they share. Lees meer

    Topic - Relationships with Family & Friends

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  23. I Can't Love You the Way You Want Me To

    14 april 2025 · 1 uur 1 min

    Afspelen
    Their relationship is on the edge. They're grappling with communication issues and the emotional scars from their past. And they're trapped. Trapped in an endless cycle of blame, defensiveness, and attack. Esther tries to help them notice their patterns of escalation and break the cycle they keep finding themselves in. Lees meer

    Topic - Conflict & Polarization

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  24. Do You Love Me for Me or For What I Do for You?

    7 april 2025 · 44 min

    Afspelen
    "Am I too much?" is a consistent frame for a relationship that so many people come to Esther with. This week, a Southern preacher who has made a career out of tending to the needs of others wonders if she's too much or not enough in her romantic relationships. Esther guides her to explore her sense of self-worth and ask for what she needs. Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  25. To Forgive My Ex-Husband I Need to Forgive Myself First

    31 maart 2025 · 47 min

    Afspelen
    Esther talks with a young divorcée about the challenges of co-parenting with her ex-husband while wrestling with feelings of anger and frustration. They explore the impact of her past traumas and the difficulties in communication that have led to this strained relationship and how to evolve for the sake of her kids. Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  26. You are Vocal on the Criticism But Silent on the Compliments

    24 maart 2025 · 1 uur

    Afspelen
    She feels abandoned by him, he feels choked by her, and their marriage is at a tipping point. They are a couple so focused on their kids that they have lost their connection and their sense of self. Despite creating a life story where family is the center of everything, they feel completely alone. Can Esther help them write a new story? Lees meer

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  27. Esther Perel Invites Us to Imagine Our Preferred Future

    17 maart 2025 · 55 min

    Afspelen
    We all know the difference between being alive and feeling alive. The state of the world has many of us struggling with threat and uncertainty, both of which immediately constrict our imagination and our ability to face the unknown with curiosity and discovery. Join Esther Perel for a live conversation on the Vox Media Podcast Stage at South By Southwest with futurist Amy Webb and innovation expert Frederik Pferdt as they discuss how the big changes of today will shape our relationships of tomorrow. Lees meer

    To watch the video of this episode go to https://www.youtube.com/@estherperel/podcasts

    To watch Amy Webb's 2025 Emerging Tech Trend Report from SXSW visit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT33_MrqyHo

    To read Frederik Pferdt's book What's Next is Now: How to Live Future Ready visit https://whatsnextisnowthebook.com

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  28. No Longer Daddy's Little Girl

    3 maart 2025 · 44 min

    Afspelen
    Esther speaks to a woman who has been estranged from her father for almost two years for reasons she can’t quite figure out. Despite multiple attempts on her end to reconcile, she is now trying to grieve the loss of her still very much-alive father. Esther helps her unravel questions about starting her own family amidst this painful cutoff. Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  29. I Can Break up with Him But I'm Still Stuck With Myself

    24 februari 2025 · 36 min

    Afspelen
    Esther talks with a woman who is contemplating ending her five-year long-distance relationship. She reflects on avoidant behavior, stemming from a fear of intimacy and rejection, and the complex dynamics of her family background. Esther helps her confront these deeply rooted fears, encouraging her to vocalize her needs and to realize that not everything negative is about her. The conversation opens up pathways for the woman to seek closeness and be seen, ultimately aiming to break free from a life defined by fear and distance. Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  30. When the Turn On Becomes a Turn Off

    10 februari 2025 · 59 min

    Afspelen
    Sexual preferences demand a lot of trust, intimacy, and vulnerability in relationships. This week, Esther talks with a couple who are refreshingly open and honest about their fantasies. But after 15 years of marriage, his fetish is no longer her pleasure. Esther helps them uncover the underlying emotional needs driving their fantasies and encourages them to seek a broader and more emotionally connected sexual repertoire. Lees meer

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  31. I'm Keeping the Baby...Now What?

    3 februari 2025 · 42 min

    Afspelen
    They had a whirlwind romance, and he spun a tale of their future to come—marriage, kids, a life together. He's in his mid-forties, and she is in her late thirties, and so after only three months together, she is pregnant, and they have broken up. Now, Esther meets her the month after their breakup and tries to help her illuminate a path forward. Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  32. Is This Worth a Second Chance?

    27 januari 2025 · 1 uur

    Afspelen
    Should we have tried harder to make this work? What if you're the one who got away? These are the questions that keep us up at night. This week, Esther helps a couple who were together for eight years and broke up a year ago. They've recently reconnected and wonder if they should give it another try. If they do, can they avoid falling into their old dynamics and truly learn to listen to each other? Lees meer

    For the month of January, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on important topics like sexlessness, infidelity or the perils of modern dating. It's also a place to follow up with couples and find out where their stories went. You'll also get an ad free version of all the episodes.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  33. Are We Just Not Sexually Compatible? Part Two

    20 januari 2025 · 53 min

    Afspelen
    For the first time in an Esther Calling, Esther speaks to the partner of the caller from last week to hear his perspective on the story. Then, she does a session with the two of them as they detail how they feel stuck in their sexual pattern, where he always initiates, but when he initiates, she freezes. They try to figure out where they can go from here. Lees meer

    For the month of January, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on important topics like sexlessness, infidelity or the perils of modern dating. It's also a place to follow up with couples and find out where their stories went. You'll also get an ad-free version of all the episodes.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  34. Are We Just Not Sexually Compatible?

    13 januari 2025 · 43 min

    Afspelen
    This week, a caller wonders if she’s sexually compatible with her partner or if they’ve just become too adherent to their sexual patterns. Esther helps her untangle the traumatic pieces from her past before her current relationship that are informing the anxiety she feels when her partner initiates sex. This episode contains references to a sexual assault. Please take care listening. Lees meer

    For the month of January, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on important topics like sexlessness, infidelity, or the perils of modern dating. It's also a place to follow up with couples and find out where their stories went. You'll also get an ad-free version of all the episodes.
    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  35. Did I Get Ghosted or Is He Just Not That Into Me?

    6 januari 2025 · 44 min

    Afspelen
    A young woman notices a pattern in her life of frequently being ghosted. And the last time this happened, it really stung. Not only did she lose a lover but she lost an important friend. Did this friend with benefits ghost her or did she miss something? Lees meer

    For the month of January, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts. It's a place to continue conversations on important topics like sexlessness, infidelity, or the perils of modern dating. It's also a place to follow up with couples and find out where their stories went. You'll also get an ad free version of all the episodes.

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  36. I Don't Want to Turn Into My Mother

    16 december 2024 · 51 min

    Afspelen
    After becoming a mother for the first time, a young woman reflects on the complicated relationship with her own mother. Esther guides her through establishing boundaries with grace, breaking generational cycles, and the importance of self-acceptance. Lees meer

    If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. If you would like to apply for a couples session with Esther, please click here: https://bit.ly/40fGHIU.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter"
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  37. Grief is Like a Fingerprint

    2 december 2024 · 46 min

    Afspelen
    This episode contains discussions of a death by suicide. Please take care listening. Lees meer

    Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the things we sweep under the rug in our relationships—conversations that we have a hard time having with ourselves let alone with others. This week, Esther talks to a woman stricken with grief--one year ago, her sister and father died in quick succession. Her remaining family was torn apart and she feels left to pick up the pieces on her own. Esther walks her through how to make space for the immeasurable grief.

    If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. If you would like to apply for a couples session with Esther, please click here: https://bit.ly/40fGHIU.

    Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  38. Say More - Esther Perel on Fantasy with Gillian Anderson

    18 november 2024 · 55 min

    Afspelen
    Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the things we sweep under the rug in our relationships—conversations that we have a hard time having with ourselves let alone with others. Oftentimes, our sexual fantasies exist in this space and reveal us at our most bare, showing us not just what we want sexually, but what we want emotionally and psychologically. Even with a loving partner, it can be difficult to share our most personal sexual fantasies. There's often shame, stigma, and a fear of being judged. Award-winning actress, Gillian Anderson, joins Esther to discuss Want, her collection of women's anonymous fantasies from around the world. Lees meer

    To purchase Gillian Anderson's new book, Want: https://bit.ly/3O8CVcZ

    If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. If you would like to apply for a couples session with Esther, please click here: https://bit.ly/40fGHIU.

    Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter"
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  39. How Many Times Can I Forgive You?

    11 november 2024 · 59 min

    Afspelen
    A year after explosive revelations of cheating and the existence of a 14 year old son her partner never told her about, a woman receives a call about a fresh round of betrayal. She is humiliated and in crisis, while her partner’s ability to compartmentalize has rendered him a ghost in his own life. They love each other and parent two boys but may not be able to find a shared reality in which to move forward. Lees meer

    If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. If you would like to apply for a couples session with Esther, please click here: https://bit.ly/40fGHIU.

    Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter"
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  40. Finding Love Would Mean Letting Go of Who I Am

    4 november 2024 · 52 min

    Afspelen
    He's been searching for someone for so long that he questions if he's actually looking for a unicorn. He wants someone who holds the same religious values as he does. As is often the case with Esther, the conversation that unfolds breaks down what's really underneath his seemingly high demands. This episode contains references to sexual abuse, please take care while listening. Lees meer

    If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. If you would like to apply for a couples session with Esther, please click here: https://bit.ly/40fGHIU.

    Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  41. You Are So Not Invited to My Wedding

    21 oktober 2024 · 45 min

    Afspelen
    Imagine meeting the love of your life at work. And a few months in, you want to keep the guy but ditch the job. Which is fine—until your fiancé wants to invite your evil ex-boss to the wedding. In this Esther Calling a young woman seeks advice from Esther on how to handle the conflict arising with her fiancé and his decision to invite her former abusive boss to their wedding. Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter"
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  42. Love the Child, Not the Father

    14 oktober 2024 · 55 min

    Afspelen
    Theirs is an accelerated love story. They moved in, decided to have a baby, and are now struggling to weather the hardships of parenting together. She feels unsupported and like she's the only adult in the room. He is overwhelmed and constantly feels put down by her. They have split up emotionally but not yet physically. Esther helps them sort through the power, gender, and trust issues that so often arise with new parents to see if it's enough to help them find their way back. Lees meer

    Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  43. Best Friends Don't Make For the Best Bosses

    7 oktober 2024 · 46 min

    Afspelen
    They have been best friends for years. He opened a book store and she was his first employee. Things were great until they weren't. She left to preserve the friendship- but a year later they still haven’t talked about what went wrong with them professionally. Esther talks to her about how to start a different kind of business relationship if they were willing to give this another go. Lees meer

    This is a special episode of How's Work?, a one-time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. It was edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  44. Say More - Miranda July and Esther Perel on The Rebirth of Desire

    23 september 2024 · 52 min

    Afspelen
    This week, Esther is in a borrowed bedroom in Los Angeles, the perfect place to talk about desire and the novel on every bedside table, All Fours. The writer, director, and artist, Miranda July, joins Esther to examine the erotic and to explore how love and desire relate and how they conflict in modern relationships. They discuss the tension between the domestic and erotic through the lens of Esther's new desire course, which Miranda had a sneak peek at. Lees meer

    For more details on Miranda July's book, All Fours, visit https://mirandajuly.com/all-fours/

    If you are interested in Bringing Back Desire or Playing With Desire in your relationships, then click the link below for more on Esther's course The Desire Bundle: https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  45. Why Can't I Find Someone? Is it Me?

    16 september 2024 · 36 min

    Afspelen
    Esther speaks to a woman who feels frustrated and stuck in her dating patterns. She loves going on dates, regularly meets people out and about, and feels open to having multiple forms of a relationship. And still…she gets to one or two or three dates before the relationship fizzles out. Esther gives her a new way to think about it and reframes her frustrations. Lees meer

    Esther's has two new courses out. If you are interested in Bringing Desire Back or Playing With Desire in your relationships, then click the link below for more.

    For more go to: https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  46. We Had Boundaries and He Crossed Them

    9 september 2024 · 1 uur 3 min

    Afspelen
    They were in a consensual, non-monogamous relationship and happily growing their family. But he broke the first rule of their relationship, and it resulted in a major crisis—an unplanned pregnancy involving another woman. They are committed to each other, but this unforeseen transformation of their family has many unexpected consequences that involve their entire world—family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors. Will their relationship be able to survive all of these upheavals?
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
    Lees meer
  47. You Keep Planning A Future Without Me

    24 juni 2024 · 52 min

    Afspelen
    They met as community organizers in their neighborhood. She had just gotten out of a multi-year marriage to her ex-wife and began to forge new friendships. After about a year, something shifted for her and she began to develop feelings for him, sending her seemingly solid identity into a tailspin. After 15 years of identifying as a lesbian, she was in her first straight relationship. Now, he is beginning to question what he wants out of life and their relationship and can’t seem to grow out of his youth-formed habits of yearning for greener pastures. They find themselves at an erotic stalemate and come to Esther for help. Lees meer

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  48. Four Affairs, Four Divorces. Why Do I Keep Doing This?

    17 juni 2024 · 52 min

    Afspelen
    Four affairs and four divorces later, she is searching for answers as to why she can’t stop leaving in such an abrupt way. Despite longing for a life partner, she questions her ability to maintain a healthy and stable relationship. Esther seeks to uncover the root of these issues and help her forge a new path forward as she embarks on what she hopes is her final relationship. Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one-time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  49. What If I Break Up With My Dad?

    3 juni 2024 · 50 min

    Afspelen
    Esther takes a question from a young woman struggling with her relationship with her father. A recent divorce and the slow reveal of an affair on the part of her father has ruptured the family- and leaves her questioning whether or not her father should continue to have a role in her life. Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.

    Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  50. It Feels Like My Siblings Abandoned Me

    20 mei 2024 · 38 min

    Afspelen
    In this Esther Calling, Esther speaks to a young woman grappling with the burden of caring for her ailing parents and the feelings of resentment she feels towards her older siblings. But the true cause of this family conflict goes much deeper than who is showing up and who is not. Lees meer

    Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices