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365 afleveringen, van nieuw naar oud
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healing parental wounds through spiritual practice
20 juni 2023 · 1 uur 22 min
In this transformative episode, we go beyond understanding the mother and father wounds to explore how we can actually heal from them. With insights from Eastern spirituality and grounded practices, this episode provides a blueprint for addressing the lingering impact of parental wounds, empowering you to cultivate a deeply rooted sense of self, peace, and inner resilience. If you’ve ever wondered how to truly heal from the past and reclaim the parts of yourself that felt lost, this episode is a powerful place to start. We begin with an exploration of "family constellations therapy," unearthing the hidden patterns we inherit and untangling what Eastern philosophy calls samskaras—the karmic knots that keep us bound to past wounds. Lees meer
Episode Highlights:
00:00 – 12:00 | Intro + reflections on mother and father wounds: listener insights and the groundwork for self-healing
14:17 – 21:00 | Family Constellations Therapy: Seeing how ancestral and family patterns influence us in subtle, powerful ways
21:07 – 32:36 | Karmic knots and samskaras: How our emotional pain can transcend generations, and how to begin releasing it
32:26 – 42:55 | Buddhist philosophy and mindfulness as tools for healing parental wounds: slowing down, observing, and finding freedom
42:55 – 50:48 | Making healing a yogic practice: turning inner work into a sacred journey of integration and self-compassion
50:48 – 55:17 | Hidden roadblocks: Misunderstandings that may be keeping you stuck in cycles of self-blame or resentment
55:17 – 59:24 | The Four Core Functions of Parenting: Nurturing, Protection, Empowerment, and Initiation
59:15 – 01:02:07 | Mother and Father as Nurturer: Learning to nurture yourself and provide what was once missing
01:02:07 – 01:07:24 | Mother and Father as Protector: Cultivating a safe, strong inner space where you can truly rest and trust yourself
01:07:24 – 01:17:22 | Mother and Father as Empowerer: Finding strength to claim your voice, pursue your goals, and live aut…
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daddy issues: recognizing and healing the father wound
13 juni 2023 · 2 uur 22 min
In this deep-dive episode, we unravel the complex and often misunderstood concept of "daddy issues"—a term that has been trivialized and sensationalized in popular culture. But beneath the stereotypes lies a significant psychological impact that can shape a person’s life in profound ways. Whether we label it as the "father wound" or simply recognize it as the lingering effects of a strained or absent father figure, these unresolved issues can ripple into our adult relationships, self-worth, and emotional resilience. Lees meer
Together, we explore the father wound beyond the clichés, examining how it manifests in both men and women, its roots in societal expectations, and its distinct differences from the mother wound. From "father hunger" and feelings of abandonment to the ways cultural stereotypes keep men and women alike stuck in cycles of pain, this episode offers both insight and practical guidance on how to start the healing journey. Through storytelling, poetry, and guided introspection, this episode provides tools to understand and begin addressing the father wound—an important step towards self-compassion, healthier relationships, and emotional freedom.
TIME STAMPS
00:00 – 04:05: Intro + reflections (why explore the father wound?)
04:00 – 17:54: What is the father wound?
17:58 – 21:25: How it feels to struggle with an unhealed father complex (poem snippet by Marcus Lee)
21:25 – 24:10: High-level description of the father wound and how it presents
24:10 – 31:20: Father hunger, father absence, father deficit
31:20 – 43:19: The impact the unhealed father wound has on well-being and relationships and how it contributes to the cycle of abuse
43:19 – 01:00:44: How the father wound manifests in our daily lives as adult children
01:00:44 – 01:08:30: What is the difference between the mother and father wounds?
01:08:30 – 01:11:32: How societal expectations and cultural stereotypes keep men stuck in the father wound
01:11:42 – 01:20:09: Masculine expressions of an …
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the mother wound: sacred scars as a portal to healing
6 juni 2023 · 1 uur 34 min
In this powerful and deeply personal episode, we journey into the raw and often hidden layers of the "Mother Wound." This is more than a psychological concept; it’s an emotional inheritance of unresolved pain, abandonment, and unfulfilled needs that many of us carry from our childhood into adulthood, shaping our relationships, self-worth, and the way we view the world. If you've ever felt that lingering ache from unmet maternal love, or if you’ve struggled to break free from self-sabotaging patterns rooted in early wounds, this episode is for you. Lees meer
Starting with a grounded exploration of the Mother Wound, we look at how these core wounds can manifest, ways to recognize their impact on your daily life, and how to begin the healing journey. We draw on insights from Bethany Webster, philosopher Alan Watts, and ancient myth to illuminate how generational pain influences us and, most importantly, how we can reclaim our wholeness. From guided visualizations and re-parenting exercises to the archetypal power of the Divine Mother, this episode is a space to start releasing what no longer serves you and to reconnect with your authentic self.
Time-Stamps and Episode Highlights:
Part 1 - What is the Mother Wound?
02:00 – 10:17: Introduction to the Mother Wound
10:23 – 54:49: In-depth exploration of how the Mother Wound manifests in our lives and relationships
Part 2 - Healing Through Age Regression and Re-Parenting Tasks
54:51 – 58:40: Preparing for guided healing exercises and visualizations
59:00 – 1:09:20: Meditative connection to the Mother Wound, inspired by the words of Alan Watts
1:09:21 – 1:13:40: Re-parenting practices to nurture your inner child
1:13:45 – 1:29:07: Inner infant age regression: reconnecting to early unmet needs
Part 3 - Embracing the Divine Mother in Myth and Mysticism
01:29:13 – 01:33:03: The story of Demeter and Persephone and the archetype of the nurturing mother
01:33:05 – 1:58:08: Healing the Mother Wound through myth, archetypes, and…
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this high school dropout is transforming the failing public school system by following her bliss
30 mei 2023 · 1 uur 36 min
In this inspiring episode, we dive into a vision of education that could reshape how future generations learn, connect, and thrive. At just 15, Zelda Poem felt the weight of a system that wasn’t designed to nurture individuality or emotional well-being. She took a courageous step and left school at 16, setting out to revolutionize education. Since then, she’s become a published author, trained in art therapy, empathic communication, and psychology, and advised various EdTech initiatives. Her current project, “Tomorrow’s School,” is a collective art gallery dedicated to reimagining education as a supportive, holistic, and personalized experience. Lees meer
Zelda and I explore the deep-rooted issues within today’s public school systems in both the U.S. and Europe, and discuss the kind of paradigm shift needed to create schools that focus on emotional regulation, creative exploration, and individual growth. We touch on how AI might play a role in this transformation, offering tailored learning experiences and enhanced support for students, while also weighing its potential risks.
Key Topics and Questions Explored in This Episode:
Systemic Issues in Public Education: Analyzing the negative effects of current educational structures on student well-being and learning potential.
The Future of Education: Zelda’s insights on creating schools that prioritize community, individualized learning, and emotional support over rote memorization and testing.
AI in the Classroom: Discussing how AI can enhance personalized learning, its benefits for educational outcomes, and the limitations of relying solely on technology for teaching.
Fostering Creativity and Critical Thinking: Practical strategies for parents and teachers to nurture a child’s natural curiosity, creativity, and resilience in a world that often prioritizes conformity.
Supporting Sensitive Students: Guidance on how to help highly sensitive or neurodivergent children navigate traditional school settings and manage the emot…
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finding a sense of self as a trauma-dumping emotional vampire
23 mei 2023 · 58 min
In this listener Q&A episode, we explore profound and complex themes around self-identity, relationships, forgiveness, and the search for emotional stability. Each listener brings a unique perspective and challenge, from grappling with the Buddhist concept of “no-self” to navigating the difficult terrain of forgiveness and dependency in relationships. Join us as we delve deep into these topics, offering insights that could reshape how you approach your mental health and interpersonal connections. Lees meer
Episode Highlights:
Priyasha’s Journey with “No-Self” and Identity (03:34): In Dubai, Priyasha reflects on her struggle to “find a sense of self” as she works through the symptoms of her BPD diagnosis. We explore how Buddhist principles, especially the concept of “anatta” or “no-self,” can provide a path to self-understanding, particularly in the realm of emotion dysregulation and how these ideas have been adapted into DBT.
Allison’s Experience of Isolation after Suicide Attempts (25:08): Allison feels like her friends and family are pulling away after her recent suicide attempts, leading her to question the roots of her distress and the concept of emotional boundaries. We dive into topics like emotional vampirism, trauma-dumping, and ways to express vulnerability without overwhelming loved ones.
Gia’s Struggle with Forgiveness and Past Trauma (52:17): Gia wrestles with forgiving her childhood caregivers while still feeling triggered by their presence as an adult. We touch on the nature of “magical thinking” in trauma recovery, the pitfalls of “going back to the empty well,” and how to approach forgiveness as a self-healing tool rather than an obligation.
Fae’s Conflicted Feelings in Relationships (01:13:26): Fae finds herself developing crushes on friends while in a committed relationship, stirring up feelings of guilt and confusion. We examine the “Favorite Person” phenomenon often discussed in the BPD recovery community, the risks of objectifying others for emotion…
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ending your self-destructive patterns of relationship sabotage once and for all
16 mei 2023 · 58 min
In this episode, we tackle the complexities of emotion dysregulation and its deep-rooted ties to childhood emotional neglect and abuse. Many of us who grew up in chaotic or neglectful environments find ourselves craving love and connection yet struggling to maintain healthy, secure relationships. Through a Q&A format, I respond to listener questions and explore common patterns like overthinking, rumination, and drama addiction that often sabotage our chances for stability and connection. If you’ve ever found yourself caught in a cycle of self-sabotaging behavior, toxic relationships, or unresolved anger, this episode sheds light on why these patterns emerge and offers guidance on how to break free from them. Lees meer
Episode Breakdown and Key Topics:
Sophie’s Struggle with Rumination (08:11): We discuss why overthinking can make relationships feel doomed from the start, and how to break the cycle of anxious rumination.
Anna’s Question about Leaving an Abusive Partner (16:50): Navigating the emotional turmoil of leaving an abusive relationship, and finding clarity on whether it was the right choice.
Lauren’s Awkward Work Relationship Fallout (25:24): Tips for managing the discomfort and emotional fallout when a workplace romance doesn’t go as planned.
Marina’s Reflection on “Abandonholics” and Drama Addiction (36:08): An exploration of the addictive nature of chaotic relationships, and why some of us are drawn to emotional highs and lows.
Elinor’s Battle with Explosive Rage (01:11:27): Understanding the roots of uncontrollable anger and practical strategies to self-regulate in moments of intense emotion.
This episode offers a compassionate look at why we often feel drawn to self-destructive patterns and gives listeners actionable insights to foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Tune in to uncover the underlying forces at play and start building a life centered around true connection, rather than chaos.
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exc…
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recovering human connection through rupture and repair
9 mei 2023 · 59 min
In this soul-stirring episode, we dive into the raw, resonant prose of Amanda Palmer’s article, What it feels like to get divorced—and possibly remarried—at TED 2023. This piece, originally shared on her Substack, captured my heart so profoundly that I wanted to read it aloud and share it with you, creating a moment of reflection for anyone struggling with life’s most complicated emotions. So brew a warm cup of tea, settle into your coziest spot, and let me read you some words that might help you feel a little less alone. Lees meer
Through Palmer’s words, we explore themes of heartbreak, transformation, and resilience. She grapples with the disorienting aftermath of her divorce, the weight of parenting through tumultuous times, and the surreal experience of navigating these emotions against the backdrop of a TED conference. Palmer’s reflections on love, loss, identity, and belonging are both intimate and universal—giving voice to the raw edges of human experience.
Episode Highlights and Topics Discussed:
Divorce and Reinvention: Palmer’s reflections on ending a marriage and the bittersweet hope of starting anew
The Crisis of Belonging: Exploring humanity’s collective need for connection in a world increasingly defined by isolation
The Power of Pain as a Teacher: Why embracing emotional pain, rather than numbing it, can foster growth and healing
Mental Health in a Chaotic World: How Palmer’s honesty about grief, anxiety, and the complexities of parenting offers comfort to those facing similar battles
The Fragility and Resilience of the Human Spirit: From ancient wisdom to modern struggles, how the desire for connection and self-acceptance remains timeless
TIME STAMPS
00:00 – 01:53: Intro
01:53 – 04:37: Why I chose to read the article on today’s episode / intro of Amanda Palmer and her work
04:37 – 50:06: Storytime reading of “What it feels like to get divorced—and possibly remarried—at TED 2023” by Amanda Palmer
50:06 – 51:26: Article reflections
51:45: Preview o…
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fear of abandonment and the mother wound in fairy tales
2 mei 2023 · 1 uur 1 min
In this episode, we dive into the lasting emotional impact of childhood abandonment and neglect, a wound that can leave us feeling unworthy and disconnected well into adulthood. Set to calming medieval soundscapes, we explore how myths, fairy tales, and timeless stories hold profound insights for healing these deeply rooted scars. From the iconic tales of Cinderella and Vasilisa the Beautiful to the transformative journeys of heroes and heroines, we’ll examine how fairy tales reveal paths to resilience and self-discovery, even in the face of great loss. Lees meer
The episode also features an excerpt from a powerful book that reframed my own perspectives on resentment and the weight of emotional burdens I’ve carried since childhood. Through these stories, we uncover how feelings of abandonment are universal—and how tales of magical godmothers, brave girls with enchanted dolls, and creatures from nature offer guidance for embracing our inner strength. Together, we’ll unravel how the themes of missing mothers, unfulfilled bonds, and wicked stepmothers symbolize the complex realities of human relationships, teaching us to confront our fears and embrace the parts of ourselves we often neglect.
Topics Covered in This Episode:
How childhood abandonment impacts emotional well-being across a lifetime
The symbolism of missing or absent mothers in folklore and fairy tales
The mythological roots of resilience and how stories offer paths to self-worth
An exploration of Carl Jung’s “shadow” concept and what fairy tale villains represent
TIME STAMPS:
00:00 - 3:56: Intro
3:56 - 50:13: Fear of Abandonment - Mothers in Fairy Tales
50:18: Preview of this week’s Premium Submarine Episode, “SWSMH 18: smash the peace button”
RESOURCES:
· The Fear of Abandonment: Missing Mothers and Fairy Tales (article by Dale M. Kushner)
· The Interpretation of Fairy Tales (C.G. Jung Foundation Books) by Marie Louise Von Frantz
· The O Manuscript: The Seer, The Magdalene, The Grail by Lars Muhl
Cr…
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find your life's purpose with the japanese philosophy of ikigai
25 april 2023 · 1 uur 32 min
Why am I here? What is my true purpose? If you’re feeling lost, stuck in a cycle of unfulfilling work, or questioning if there’s more to life than the 9-to-5 grind and occasional vacation, you’re not alone. Many of us are living on autopilot—choosing careers based on survival rather than passion, trapped by societal expectations, and rarely considering what a life of true purpose might look like. Lees meer
In this episode, we’ll explore the ancient Japanese philosophy of Ikigai, a concept that translates to “reason for being”. Ikigai encourages us to look inward and discover what brings us joy, aligns with our strengths, and allows us to contribute to the world in a meaningful way. This isn’t about quick fixes or surface-level career advice; it’s about peeling back the layers to uncover the unique calling that only you can fulfill.
Through this exploration, you’ll discover:
How Ikigai can help you define a life purpose that goes beyond the day-to-day grind
The core elements of Ikigai and how they interconnect: passion, mission, profession, and vocation
Practical steps for aligning your talents, passions, and work with a purpose that resonates on a soul level
Ways to break free from society’s expectations and live intentionally
How Ikigai bridges personal growth and spiritual meaning, transforming your life from mere survival to deep fulfillment
Imagine a life where your actions feel aligned with your values, where your work feels like an extension of your true self, and where every day brings a sense of contribution and joy. Discovering your Ikigai could be the key to that life. Dive in and take the first step toward a deeper, more meaningful existence.
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in …
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deepfakes, revenge porn, and the impact on body autonomy
18 april 2023 · 1 uur 18 min
Deepfakes have become an unsettling phenomenon in recent years, rising from niche technology to a widespread cultural issue that affects millions. While deepfakes hold potential for media and innovation, the darker side of this technology is alarming. AI-powered deepfake porn, specifically targeting women, threatens their sense of self-control, consent, and safety in the digital world. Victims are forced to see their likeness in explicit content they never agreed to, leaving lasting emotional trauma. Lees meer
In January 2023, this issue gained global attention when popular Twitch streamer Brandon “Atrioc” Ewing accidentally revealed that he had viewed and paid for deepfake porn of fellow female creators without their consent. One of those creators, QTCinderella, responded publicly, shedding light on the devastating impact non-consensual deepfake porn can have on victims. This incident triggered national conversations around consent, safety, and the urgent need for legal protections.
In this episode, we explore the troubling implications of deepfake technology on privacy and autonomy, using the Atrioc controversy as a case study. From the legal loopholes that make deepfake porn hard to combat to the emotional toll on victims, we’ll delve into how this technology magnifies the sexualization of women, often with no legal recourse or protection. By the end of the episode, you’ll have insight into the evolving digital landscape, the necessity of safeguards, and the steps you can take to protect yourself and loved ones in the face of AI’s rapid advancements.
Topics discussed in this episode:
The Atrioc deepfake controversy: how it unfolded and its implications
What is a deepfake, and how is AI used to create it?
Legal and ethical issues surrounding non-consensual deepfake content
How deepfake porn escalates the objectification and sexualization of women in disturbing ways
Emotional and psychological effects of deepfake revenge porn on victims
UNFPA’s “bodyright” campaign…
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are you an approval addict?
11 april 2023 · 1 uur 32 min
The need for approval is universal, but when it spirals into a cycle of constant validation-seeking, it can lead to something often called approval addiction. This lesser-known yet impactful form of addiction drives people to go to great lengths to secure affirmation and avoid rejection, often at the cost of their own well-being. In this episode, we explore what approval addiction is, how it manifests in our lives, and the signs that indicate we may be relying too heavily on others’ validation. Lees meer
Learn how approval addiction shows up in daily life, from over-committing and people-pleasing to compromising your values for the sake of fitting in. We’ll also cover the different types of approval addiction, such as social approval and performance-based validation, and examine the differences between approval addiction and codependency. Finally, we’ll discuss how to break free from the need for constant validation, so you can build a stronger sense of self-approval and authentic confidence. Whether you struggle with people-pleasing, fear of rejection, or a need for external validation, this episode offers practical insights to help you start reclaiming your sense of worth from within.
Topics Discussed in This Episode:
Signs of approval addiction and how to recognize it
The role of people-pleasing and validation-seeking in approval addiction
Differences between codependency and approval addiction
How to break free from needing external approval for self-worth
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast.…
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completely transform the way you view your mental health symptoms with this reframe
4 april 2023 · 1 uur 19 min
When psychological suffering enters our lives, the modern psychiatric response is often to label, diagnose, and medicate what’s perceived as “symptoms” of conditions like BPD, EUPD, cPTSD, ADHD, ASD, and countless others. The DSM-5, as of 2022, lists criteria for 193 mental health disorders—a number that seems to expand with every edition. This episode challenges Western psychiatry's tendency to pathologize and medicalize human emotional distress, exploring what might happen if we viewed our symptoms not as problems to be "fixed," but as adaptive responses that reveal unmet needs and deeper truths about ourselves. Lees meer
Imagine seeing these intense emotions and behaviors not as signs of a “disorder,” but as messengers pointing us toward growth and self-discovery. I share my own experience of hitting rock bottom, questioning life’s purpose, and how this perspective shift led to a profound change in how I approach mental health. Together, we’ll explore why reframing symptoms as “saviors” could radically change how we view mental well-being, reduce stigma, and transform treatment approaches for the better. This episode offers a perspective that invites compassion, self-awareness, and integration—helping us move towards a world where our daily emotional experiences are embraced as parts of a greater whole..
RESOURCES AND ADDITIONAL CONTENT MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
■ From Disorder to Design: A New Way to Understand Mental Health Symptoms (Ft. Philosopher Justin Garson)
■ Mental Health Symptoms or Hidden Spiritual Gifts? (Ft. Lisa Miller)
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute f…
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emotional reactivity and toxic friendships
28 maart 2023 · 1 uur 14 min
In this dynamic episode of BFTB, we tackle the complexities of mental health stigma, low emotional intelligence, gaslighting, and the challenges of managing intense emotions. With voicemails and emails from listeners, we’ll dive into real-life scenarios that illustrate the misunderstandings surrounding mental health and the painful impact of stigma, both in Hollywood and in our personal relationships. Below is a breakdown of the topics we cover, including practical tips on self-regulation, boundary-setting, and navigating stigmatizing environments. Tune in for a packed episode that offers validation, perspective, and tools for anyone facing mental health stigma or emotional struggles. Lees meer
TIMESTAMPS:
2:02 | The Power of Silence — Discover the benefits of “doing nothing” with insights from new neuroscience research, including a thought-provoking tweet from Billy Oppenheimer.
10:18 | BPD Stigma in Hollywood — Voicemail from Josie on how films like Bodies, Bodies, Bodies perpetuate harmful mental health stereotypes, and a discussion on reframing emotion dysregulation as something we can talk about openly.
17:02 | Navigating Family’s Mental Health Views — Email from Christian, a first-generation immigrant dealing with his family’s outdated and invalidating beliefs about mental health. We’ll discuss tips for handling invalidation in close relationships.
24:06 | Toxic Friendships and Boundaries — Voicemail from Sammy, who wonders how to recognize if a friend might have BPD. We’ll cover the importance of assessing toxic dynamics and setting healthy boundaries, regardless of diagnostic labels.
37:00 | Gaslighting and Emotional Reactions — Voicemail from Erin, who questions if her emotional responses are valid or “just the BPD.” We’ll explore the nuances of gaslighting, the dangers of label weaponization, and techniques to gain clarity over emotional reactivity.
58:00 | Preview of this week's episode of My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health (Ep 13)
RESOURCES:
■ Bi…
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developing a growth mindset to overcome splitting and perfectionism
14 maart 2023 · 1 uur 42 min
In this episode, we dive into the complex topic of splitting—a type of black-and-white thinking that can both serve as a protective mechanism and lead us into cycles of self-sabotage. Often linked to various mental health conditions such as BPD, cPTSD, ADHD, and ASD, splitting can profoundly impact our relationships and sense of self. But what if there’s more to splitting than just a label? Exploring splitting through the lens of both psychology and esoteric spiritual practices, we discuss how polarized thinking keeps us locked in cycles of dysfunctional behavior and perfectionism. We also dig into object relations theory to understand how splitting influences our ability to see people and ideas in nuanced ways, shaping everything from our self-perception to our closest relationships. Lees meer
What we cover in this episode:
How splitting affects individuals with traits associated with BPD, narcissistic personality disorder, and other “disorder” labels
The psychological and spiritual origins of polarized thinking and its adaptive roots
Practical steps to break free from black-and-white thinking and embrace a more flexible, growth-oriented mindset
How perfectionism and splitting reinforce each other, keeping us in rigid cycles
Insights from a listener voicemail from Charlie, who’s wrestling with feelings of guilt after learning how her intense emotional reactions are impacting her partner
If you’ve ever felt trapped in all-or-nothing thinking, this episode offers tools to help you recognize and soften these patterns, allowing for a more balanced and compassionate view of yourself and others.
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purpose…
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healing control and codependency issues to get your needs met in a healthier way
7 maart 2023 · 1 uur 43 min
Do your relationships leave you feeling frustrated, resentful, or unfulfilled? If you’re tired of struggling with intimacy and connection, this episode offers a compassionate look at codependency and the often hidden expectations that can erode closeness. Together, we’ll uncover how “control dramas” can push love away and examine the common trap of setting unrealistic expectations in relationships. Lees meer
We’ll also listen to a voicemail from a listener who’s grappling with these very issues and fears she’s sabotaging her own chance at real love and intimacy. By the end of the episode, you’ll gain clarity on how to identify and voice your needs in a relationship—without it ending in conflict or emotional burnout.
Topics covered include:
Recognizing codependency patterns and their impact on intimacy
What are “control dramas” and how they damage relationships
Moving past resentment and frustration toward healthier connections
Tips for communicating your needs without emotional explosions
How to create a more fulfilling and balanced partnership
This episode is for anyone ready to let go of old patterns and find a more authentic path to love and connection. Join me as we dive deep into the real challenges—and solutions—for building fulfilling relationships.
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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your personality masks are blocking access to your TRUE self
28 februari 2023 · 1 uur 17 min
Have you ever felt like you’re playing a role rather than being your true self? In this episode, we dive into the concept of “personality masks” and how they can keep us from connecting with our authentic selves. We’ll unpack what “Self” and “personality” truly mean and explore why so many of us develop these protective masks—often as a response to social pressures, trauma, or past experiences. Lees meer
We’ll discuss how masking behaviors can show up in daily life, particularly for those who identify with conditions like ADHD, Autism, or traits associated with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). By examining common signs of personality masking and examples of masking behaviors, you’ll gain insight into how these tendencies might be affecting your mental health and relationships. Plus, we’ll highlight the different types of masks people use, the unconscious reasons behind them, and the psychological toll they can take over time. If you’re ready to start the journey of unmasking, this episode provides practical tips for recognizing and shedding these layers, helping you reconnect with a more authentic, grounded version of yourself.
Key insights and topics covered include:
What is a “personality mask” and how it impacts mental well-being
Recognizing signs of masking in everyday life
Why masking is commonly associated with ADHD, Autism, and BPD traits
The psychological cost of wearing personality masks
How to unmask and connect with your true self in a healthy, empowering way
This conversation offers tools and insights for anyone feeling disconnected from their true self and seeking to live more authentically.
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and …
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sober curious: a fresh and dialectical approach to alcohol use
14 februari 2023 · 52 min
With the rise of the “sober curious” movement, more people than ever are questioning the role alcohol plays in their lives and exploring what it means to live (or drink) more mindfully. Inspired by a wave of viral stories and transformations, I set out to uncover what this lifestyle is all about and how it’s challenging social norms around drinking. In this episode, we’ll break down the concept of being “sober curious,” tracing its origins and hearing from voices within the movement who are reshaping our understanding of alcohol and wellness. From redefining social drinking to understanding why Gen Z is leading a cultural shift away from alcohol, we’ll explore the upsides, the challenges, and the powerful potential of a sober curious life. Lees meer
Topics include:
How the sober curious movement started and its growing influence on wellness culture
The concept of mindful drinking and ways to integrate it into your social life
Why a growing number of people are choosing to question their relationship with alcohol
Insights into Gen Z’s changing attitudes toward drinking and social connection
Whether you’re considering a break from alcohol or just want a fresh perspective, this episode offers an inviting look at the benefits and possibilities of going “sober curious.”
Referenced resources:
■ Book: “Sober Curious” by Ruby Warrington
■ Book: “Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice Not to Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol”
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more inf…
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"am i crazy, or are they gaslighting me?"
7 februari 2023 · 1 uur
In this episode, we dive deep into the emotional turbulence of high-conflict relationships, focusing on a listener’s experience with being gaslit. When Jade called in to share how she’s been made to feel “too much” or “too sensitive,” it highlighted the destructive power of gaslighting—and how easily mental health stigma can fuel feelings of self-doubt and guilt. Together, we’ll unpack the signs and effects of gaslighting, from the subtle shifts in self-perception to the ways it can derail emotional stability. We’ll also explore how partners who are open about their mental health can sometimes be manipulated into taking blame, and why self-soothing and emotional intelligence are key skills for handling intense relationship dynamics. Whether you’re navigating a high-conflict relationship, dealing with unresolved guilt, or simply seeking clarity, this episode will offer guidance and practical steps for reclaiming your sense of self. Lees meer
Key topics covered include:
Recognizing gaslighting and understanding its impact on your self-trust
Identifying if and when your partner might be using gaslighting tactics
The damaging role of mental health stigma in relationships
Tips for initiating the conversation about couple’s therapy
Self-soothing strategies and conflict resolution for high-conflict couples
Moving beyond the blame game to build healthier emotional dynamics
Tune in for an honest conversation on gaslighting, emotional resilience, and the road to building stronger, more self-aware relationships.
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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed m…
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blindsided by betrayal: learning to love again after being cheated on
31 januari 2023 · 46 min
This week’s episode dives into some raw and relatable relationship struggles that many of us grapple with behind closed doors. We’ll listen to Liz’s story of battling guilt and shame after feeling responsible for her boyfriend’s eviction from his friend group’s apartment, and we’ll hear from Otillia, who is facing the painful aftermath of discovering that the person she’d been dating was hiding a pregnant girlfriend. These listener stories open the door to real, unfiltered discussions on navigating the tough moments that can make or break our self-worth and trust in others. Lees meer
In this episode, we’ll explore:
How to rebuild confidence after hurtful feedback and regain a sense of self
Practical ways to cope with feelings of guilt and shame without losing yourself in them
Managing social anxiety and finding ease when meeting new people in your partner’s life
Approaches to building authentic relationships with a partner’s friends without overextending
Moving forward after experiencing betrayal and the shock of infidelity
Through these stories, we’ll reflect on ways to strengthen our emotional resilience and deepen our understanding of ourselves in love and relationships. Whether you’re navigating guilt, trust, or the challenge of building new connections, this episode offers insights and support for the journey.
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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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breaking the cycle of pain: moving on and healing from a traumatic breakup
24 januari 2023 · 1 uur 30 min
If you’re feeling stuck in the aftermath of a breakup, this episode is a space to help you begin untangling the pain and finding your way back to yourself. Healing from a traumatic separation isn’t a straightforward path—it’s filled with grief, self-doubt, and that persistent question: “Will I ever feel whole again?” We’ll dig deep into the emotional layers of heartbreak, looking at how to rebuild self-worth, embrace closure, and eventually, open up to love once more. We’ll explore how attachments, beliefs, and past traumas can shape our experience of love and loss. From breaking free of trauma bonds and recognizing the patterns of limerence—those addictive, all-consuming feelings that mimic love—to challenging the myth of a “perfect partner,” this episode is about grounding ourselves in reality and embracing a healthier view of relationships and self-worth. Lees meer
Topics include:
Finding purpose through helping others and using altruism as a lifeline
Understanding limerence vs. true love, and breaking free from toxic cycles
Insights into trauma bonding and its effects on adult relationships
Letting go of the “One” myth to find a more balanced perspective on love
Guided visualization to help you process pain and start moving forward
Through these reflections, you’ll gain fresh perspectives on navigating breakup pain and new ways to reconnect with yourself.
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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overcoming executive dysfunction: "why can't i just do the thing?!"
17 januari 2023 · 1 uur 24 min
Struggling to stay organized, follow through on plans, or keep your emotions in check? You’re not alone. Many people face challenges with executive functioning—a set of mental skills that can impact everything from daily routines to long-term goals. In this episode, we’re breaking down what executive dysfunction really is, especially as it relates to ADHD and emotion regulation. We’ll dive into why executive dysfunction occurs, how it might show up in everyday life, and, importantly, practical strategies for managing it. Through fresh insights into how childhood development shapes executive skills and reflections on Gabor Maté’s perspectives on ADHD, this conversation is all about understanding the “why” behind these struggles and finding realistic steps to move forward. Lees meer
Listen in to learn about:
The basics of executive functions and what happens when they’re disrupted
Signs and causes of executive dysfunction (and how to recognize them in yourself)
Real-life impacts of executive dysfunction on focus, planning, and emotional regulation
How childhood experiences and ADHD influence executive skills
Practical tools and strategies for building up your executive functioning over time
This episode offers a compassionate look at executive dysfunction that goes beyond labels. Tune in to discover tools and insights that can help you create a more balanced, fulfilling life.
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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mental illness is not in your head: evolving beyond the medical model in recovery
10 januari 2023 · 1 uur 33 min
In this episode, we’re taking a hard look at the medical model of mental health—a framework that focuses on diagnosis and medication but often falls short in addressing the true complexities of human suffering. Despite decades of research, psychiatrist and medical historian Dr. Marcos Ramos argues in his article “Mental Illness Is Not in Your Head” that traditional psychiatry has made little progress in diagnosing or treating mental health conditions. He suggests a radical shift in perspective: looking beyond the brain to societal, environmental, and psychological factors as essential elements in understanding and healing mental and physical health. We’ll explore how the medical model often overlooks the root causes of distress, and why it’s crucial to consider a more holistic approach to treatment. This episode invites listeners to question conventional psychiatry and embrace a broader perspective on mental health—one that considers trauma, social structures, and emotional well-being as integral parts of healing. Lees meer
Topics discussed include:
The limitations of the medical model in treating mental health conditions
Why mental health diagnosis and treatment may not have advanced as much as we think
The importance of addressing environmental, social, and psychological factors for more effective care
Practical ways to advocate for yourself and loved ones in a system often focused on labels and medication
This episode aims to inform and empower, arming you with knowledge to navigate the mental health system with greater confidence—and perhaps even to challenge the status quo in pursuit of true healing.
Recommended resources:
■ Full article from the Boston Review – “Mental Illness Is Not in Your Head” by Marco Ramos
■ Follow Marcos on Twitter (@mramos_histmed)
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how scott broke the cycle of generational family trauma while parenting with emotion dysregulation
3 januari 2023 · 1 uur 19 min
In this powerful episode, I’m joined by 67-year-old Scott Schaeffer, whose journey through trauma, self-discovery, and resilience is one of the most impactful stories I've shared on the podcast. Scott’s life was shaped by severe physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his father, along with the struggle of growing up in a household where his mother couldn’t protect him or his siblings. Despite these challenges, Scott cultivated a strong, healthy marriage and chose to break the cycle of trauma in raising his daughter. With the guidance of a supportive psychotherapist, he began to identify with traits commonly associated with borderline personality disorder (BPD), which brought both clarity and healing. Lees meer
Scott’s story is a testament to the power of self-awareness, the importance of emotional resilience, and the possibility of breaking generational trauma patterns. Whether you’re navigating family trauma, emotion dysregulation, or validation addiction, Scott’s insights and experiences will resonate deeply and offer hope.
In this episode, we explore:
Scott’s path to realizing he needed help and how finding language for his experiences brought empowerment
The impact of BPD traits, like “splitting” (black-and-white thinking), on relationships
How validation addiction or approval-seeking can keep us stuck in self-destructive cycles
The role of childhood trauma and abuse in shaping BPD traits and emotional sensitivity
How Scott overcame the cycle of generational trauma in his own family
Why men, especially cis-gendered heterosexual males, are less frequently diagnosed with BPD and how the medical model overlooks them
This episode is for anyone seeking to understand their own behaviors, heal from past traumas, or simply find encouragement in another’s resilience. Scott’s story shows that no matter your age or past experiences, it’s possible to find meaning, self-compassion, and peace.
Connect with Scott at https://www.usadogbehavior.com/.
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understanding the different models of mental health can help you find a helpful therapist (and avoid harmful ones)
27 december 2022 · 47 min
To truly advocate for yourself in mental health treatment, it’s crucial to understand the different frameworks that shape how mental health is approached and treated. The dominant view in Western mental health care, known as the medical model, seeks to pathologize emotional experiences, attributing symptoms to “disorders” or supposed chemical imbalances in the brain. But here’s the catch: the medical model is just one theory, and it’s not without its critics. In this episode, we examine alternative perspectives on mental health, including the trauma-informed approach, which many believe offers a more compassionate and effective way of addressing psychological suffering. Lees meer
We’ll break down the four major models shaping today’s mental health landscape:
The Medical Model: The traditional view, focused on diagnosing “disorders” and treating symptoms, often through medication.
The Social Model: Emphasizing the role of societal structures and environments in mental health.
The Biopsychosocial Model: Integrating biological, psychological, and social factors to understand mental well-being.
The Trauma-Informed Model: A growing framework that views emotional distress as a response to trauma rather than a “disorder.”
By exploring and critiquing each of these perspectives, you’ll gain insight into why you may have felt disconnected or even disheartened by certain mental health treatments. This episode aims to empower you with knowledge so you can make informed choices and advocate for a therapeutic approach that aligns with your needs and experiences.
Listen in to learn:
How different mental health models impact treatment outcomes
Why the trauma-informed model is gaining traction as a humane approach to mental health
What questions to ask your mental health provider to ensure your care aligns with your values
This episode will leave you better equipped to navigate the complexities of mental health care and reclaim your voice in your own healing journey.
Recommended …
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what to do when you finally wake up to the pain you've caused the people you love
20 december 2022 · 50 min
What do you do when you realize you’ve hurt the people you love? In this episode, I respond to a listener’s voicemail about the deep guilt that follows an episode of emotional dysregulation, where she “lost it” with close friends who haven’t spoken to her since. These moments—the ones where we realize, “I might be the problem”—can be some of the hardest to face on the path to healing. But they’re also powerful opportunities for self-reflection and growth. We’ll explore why emotional “blow-ups” don’t mean you’re back at square one and how moments of self-awareness can actually move us forward. This episode delves into the importance of atonement in relationships, providing steps for repairing the harm we’ve caused, as well as tools for forgiving ourselves. Lees meer
Topics covered include:
Recognizing signs that we may be hurting others in our relationships
How to take accountability without wallowing in shame or self-hatred
Finding the root causes behind emotional outbursts and self-sabotaging behaviors
Steps for making amends and offering genuine apologies
Practicing healthier behaviors as part of your ongoing healing journey
Real strategies for self-forgiveness and moving forward after a mistake
This episode is a guide for anyone grappling with guilt and self-doubt in their relationships, offering insights on breaking free from cycles of emotional harm and nurturing healthier connections.
Recommended resources:
■ Article by Jim Tolles | “7 steps to Atoning for Pain You’ve Caused Another”
■ TedTalk by Kristin Neff | “The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion”
■ YouTube video with Lisa Romano | “Verbal Abuse in Relationships”
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast epi…
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when your emotional dysregulation makes it hard to hold down a job
6 december 2022 · 1 uur 14 min
Navigating the workplace can be an overwhelming experience, especially for those managing symptoms related to trauma recovery. Many individuals who resonate with the symptoms of various disorder/dysfunction labels are highly sensitive, intuitive, creative, and often find traditional job environments triggering or draining. In this episode, we explore the common workplace struggles faced by people on a trauma healing journey, from difficulties with job stability to feeling trapped in roles that suppress creativity. Lees meer
We’ll talk about practical strategies for coping with workplace stress, handling emotional triggers, and managing job-related anxiety. This episode also offers guidance on finding meaningful work that aligns with your passions, rather than settling for roles that bring discontentment and emotional strain. If you feel caught in a cycle of jumping from job to job or repeating self-sabotaging patterns at work, this episode will provide insights and tools to help you shift toward a career path that feels fulfilling and sustainable.
In this episode, we cover:
Common challenges and emotional triggers in the workplace for trauma survivors
Practical steps for managing job-related anxiety and stress
How to create boundaries that support mental health in professional settings
Tips on moving from jobs you hate to meaningful work that aligns with your values
This episode is for anyone struggling with workplace dynamics while healing, offering hope and actionable steps to find a job that truly resonates with who you are.
Resources mentioned:
■ Essay by Paul Graham: “How To Do What You Love”
■ Twitter thread by Billy Oppenheimer: “12 habits and principles for doing your best creative work”
■ Book by Elizabeth Gilbert: “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear”
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transforming and healing your intimacy issues (ft. zaz)
29 november 2022 · 1 uur 2 min
In this episode, my incredible partner Zaz is back to help tackle your pressing questions on love, intimacy, and the realities of building healthy relationships. Together, we’re diving into the complex dynamics that shape romantic connections, from understanding emotional abuse to breaking free from obsessive thoughts about a new crush. This conversation covers the importance of uncovering your core values, how delaying intimacy can strengthen a relationship, and the role unhealed emotional struggles play in partnership dynamics. Whether you’re exploring a new relationship or deepening a long-term connection, this episode offers insights to help you navigate the often-complicated world of love and connection with greater awareness and intention. Lees meer
Topics discussed include:
Recognizing signs of verbal and emotional abuse in intimate relationships
Strategies for breaking cycles of emotional harm—and addressing the shame that often arises
How identifying your core values can help you overcome identity issues and strengthen partnerships
Practical advice on managing emotion dysregulation to support healthier relationship dynamics
This episode is for anyone seeking to build a mindful, values-driven relationship or break free from the patterns that keep them stuck.
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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transcending the self: the importance of gaining a higher perspective in your recovery journey
22 november 2022 · 38 min
In this episode, we explore the profound sense of spiritual starvation that so many of us grapple with—a feeling of emptiness, brokenness, and isolation that seems impossible to fill. Inspired by a voicemail from Thiago in Brazil and a message from Noura in Egypt, I’m reminded of why I started this podcast: to connect with those searching for meaning beyond the surface-level solutions often offered in mental health and self-help spaces. We dive into the concept of “zooming out”—taking a higher, broader perspective on our lives and struggles. By stepping back, we can begin to see our experiences not as signs of inherent flaws, but as part of a much larger journey of growth and self-discovery. This episode encourages you to follow your own “spiritual breadcrumbs” and find unique ways to reconnect with yourself at a deeper level. Lees meer
Topics include:
Exploring spiritual emptiness and feelings of disconnection
Practical steps for “zooming out” and gaining a higher perspective on personal struggles
How to use a spiritual lens to find peace and purpose
Tips for navigating feelings of brokenness and finding inner resilience
Cultivating self-awareness and autonomy on your own spiritual path
For anyone feeling lost or spiritually “starved,” this episode offers a refreshing perspective on reclaiming your journey and nurturing a more meaningful connection with yourself.
RESOURCES:
“How Do We Break the Habit of Excessive Thinking?” with Eckhart Tolle
“How to re-frame a challenging moment and feel empowered?” with Gabor Maté MD
“Let your relationships become a vehicle for freedom” with Ram Dass
“The principal of not forcing” with Alan Watts
“Holding the tension of the opposites” with Marion Woodman
Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to fo…
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all the rage: healthy ways to to respond to (and work with) anger
25 oktober 2022 · 1 uur 19 min
Anger is one of our most intense and often misunderstood emotions, but what if this powerful feeling could be used as a tool for personal growth? In this episode, we explore the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger, and ask: is society’s view of anger to blame for the “unhealthy” ways we express it? We’ll dive into practical anger management strategies and effective techniques for releasing anger and rage, uncovering how to recognize and work with anger in a way that strengthens self-awareness and emotional well-being. Lees meer
Discover the concept of anger as a secondary emotion, what it truly reveals about our deeper needs, and how unprocessed anger may lead to destructive patterns in our lives. We’ll also discuss the spiritual meaning of anger and its potential to act as a pathway for healing and transformation. Whether you’re dealing with frequent anger, navigating deep-seated rage, or simply want to understand the role anger plays in your life, this episode provides actionable insights and emotional tools for growth.
Topics covered in this episode include:
Healthy vs. unhealthy expressions of anger
How cultural beliefs affect our relationship with anger
Tips for managing anger, from grounding exercises to mindfulness practices
Understanding anger as a response to deeper emotions
Exploring the spiritual aspects of anger for personal development
If you’ve ever struggled to control or understand your anger, this episode will help you harness this powerful emotion to cultivate self-compassion, resilience, and balance in your life.
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for t…
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dissociation, depersonalization and derealization: understanding these common responses to trauma
18 oktober 2022 · 1 uur 2 min
Dissociation can feel like slipping out of reality itself—but what’s really going on when we disconnect from our surroundings or even from ourselves? Lees meer
In this episode, we take an in-depth look at dissociation, breaking down its subtypes, including derealization (feeling detached from the world around you) and depersonalization (feeling detached from yourself). We explore how dissociation is often tied to trauma and how it manifests differently for those who experience it. From grounding techniques to mindful awareness, this episode offers practical tools to help you manage these unsettling moments and reconnect to the present. We also address the deeply isolating feeling of “going crazy” that can accompany dissociation and discuss how to seek supportive resources for ongoing dissociative experiences. Whether dissociation is something you experience often or only occasionally, this episode provides insights to help you understand, manage, and ultimately feel less alone in the experience.
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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identity disturbance: why your search for a "sense of self" might be keeping you stuck
11 oktober 2022 · 1 uur 46 min
What if the pursuit of a “strong sense of self” is actually keeping us trapped in cycles of suffering? In this episode, we unravel the complexities of identity disturbance, especially as it relates to the “Favorite Person” dynamic often seen with BPD traits. We’ll explore how attaching our sense of self to others can lead to feelings of emptiness and imposter syndrome, questioning whether common therapeutic goals like developing self-esteem might sometimes do more harm than good. Lees meer
Drawing on the Buddhist principle of anatta, or “non-self,” we’ll examine how loosening the grip on identity can open up new pathways for healing. You’ll also learn why mindfulness can feel challenging when we’re overly focused on the concept of self—and discover techniques for becoming more present without being bound by rigid ideas of who we think we are.
This episode offers a fresh perspective on the pursuit of identity, inviting you to see beyond labels and discover what might lie on the other side of “self.”
Recommended resources: “The Fiction of the Self - The Paradox of Mindfulness in Clinical Practice” by Ronald Siegel
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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using the narrative therapy framework to get to the root cause of your suffering
27 september 2022 · 1 uur 8 min
Have you ever wondered why so many mental health treatments seem to scratch the surface but don’t quite reach the root of what’s going on? For those who resonate with mental health disorder labels, the journey often begins and ends with skills-based therapies like DBT or CBT. While coping techniques can help us manage day-to-day challenges, these approaches rarely address the bigger picture—the societal narratives and systemic forces shaping how we see ourselves. Many people complete treatment programs only to find themselves still feeling unanchored, searching for identity and meaning. Lees meer
In this episode, we’re taking a deep dive into narrative therapy and the concept of agency, examining how these tools can help us reclaim our stories and change the way we see our struggles. We’ll explore externalization, a technique that allows you to step back from negative thought patterns and take control of your life. Along the way, we’ll discuss cognitive distortions and how they keep us trapped in cycles of self-doubt and frustration. We’ll also confront the damaging narratives perpetuated in mental health discourse and consider the profound impact they can have on those in recovery.
Key topics we’ll cover include:
The power of agency and why having a say in our own narrative matters
What narrative therapy is, and how it’s being applied to those with BPD and other labels
Externalization as a way to reclaim your identity from harmful labels and thought patterns
Recognizing and addressing cognitive distortions that fuel negative thinking
The often-overlooked role of societal narratives in shaping our mental health and recovery journey
This episode challenges traditional approaches to mental health, inviting you to see yourself through a new lens—one where you’re not just coping, but actively rewriting your story on your own terms.
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from disorder to design: flipping the script on "mental health symptoms" with philosopher justin garson
20 september 2022 · 1 uur 5 min
If you no longer viewed your symptoms as proof of being “disordered” but as a part of your brain’s natural, adaptive design, how would that reshape your self-understanding? How would it impact the hope you hold for your future? For millions, the prevailing belief is that symptoms of mental distress stem from chemical imbalances or genetic flaws—issues inherited and hardwired. But groundbreaking research by Dr. Joanna Moncrieff is challenging this very foundation, shaking up the psychiatric field and prompting us to question: What if our brains are simply doing their best to keep us safe? Lees meer
In today’s episode, I sit down with philosophy professor and author Justin Garson to explore this revolutionary perspective. Together, we’ll delve into how painful symptoms can be seen less as evidence of dysfunction, and more as deeply rooted responses that have adapted over time, especially through childhood. Our early experiences leave profound imprints, shaping how we perceive the world, relationships, and even ourselves. But what if recognizing these imprints as survival mechanisms could offer a path toward real change?
Join us as we reframe the entire concept of mental health, shifting from labels of disorder to stories of resilience and adaptation. This episode invites you to see yourself in a radically new light—one where healing means understanding, rather than “fixing” who you are.
Recommended resources:
■ Full article by Justin Garson - "Is Borderline Personality Disorder an Adaptation?"
■ Justin's website - https://www.justingarson.com/
■ Research by Joanna Moncrieff et. al - "The serotonin theory of depression: a systematic umbrella review of the evidence" (July 2022)
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The inform…
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are your caveman desires standing in the way of true happiness?
13 september 2022 · 1 uur
For many who resonate with symptoms associated with various different mental health disorder/dysfunction labels, the journey to “getting better” often begins with therapy and learning skills through methods like CBT or DBT. But what happens when those skills still don’t seem to bring the sense of peace or fulfillment you’re looking for? You’ve done the research, tried the techniques, yet find yourself feeling perpetually empty or caught in cycles of boredom and dissatisfaction. In this episode, we dig deeper—under the surface of symptoms—to explore the “why” behind our suffering. We’ll take a closer look at the way our brains chase happiness, fueled by biology and a relentless search for the next dopamine fix. This constant chase keeps us in a loop, always seeking the next “desirable” thing or person. By examining what happiness really means and breaking down some common misconceptions about it, we can start to see our lives and relationships through a new lens. Lees meer
In this episode, we’ll cover:
The concept of “Dukkha bias” and why we often feel like nothing is ever good enough
The link between chronic boredom, emptiness, and high emotional sensitivity
How our constant drive for desire can become a source of suffering—and what we can do about it
Insights into human biology and how it perpetuates a cycle of never-ending needs
A framework for defining happiness on your own terms, free from societal expectations
Join me as we peel back the layers of what it means to seek happiness and enter a path toward true and lasting recovery that isn’t about quick fixes, but rather a deeper understanding of ourselves.
Recommended resources:
■ Book - Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture by Ryan Bush
■ YouTube - Interview with the author of Designing the Mind on the Modern Wisdom Podcast
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underrated recovery hacks to change the beliefs that are holding you back
6 september 2022 · 1 uur
Most of us are well aware of the patterns we want to break—the cycles that keep us from experiencing true peace and intimacy. We can see the behaviors that sabotage our connections, but knowing isn’t the same as changing. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned on my own journey is that transforming our beliefs is essential to transforming our actions. In this episode, we’ll explore some of the deeply held beliefs that might be holding you back, and I’ll share why a temporary break from social media might become a lasting one for me. We’ll dive into how major platforms are shifting from “social media” to “recommendation media” and the effect this can have on our emotional well-being. I’ll also address a recent review that questioned my stance on the BPD label and why I continue to challenge the potential harms of labels that can reinforce limiting beliefs about ourselves. Lees meer
Topics we’ll explore include:
The impact of social media on emotional stability, particularly for those with high emotional sensitivity
Whether mental health labels like “borderline personality disorder” are helpful or limiting
How cognitive biases and “splitting” can affect our healing process
The importance of adopting a “growth mindset” to improve communication and build healthier relationships
Understanding and managing “obsessive” tendencies, such as constantly checking a partner’s social media
Practical tips for navigating romantic relationships when intense emotions are part of the mix
This episode is a deep dive into how shifting your beliefs can open the door to new patterns, healthier relationships, and a more grounded approach to self-discovery and growth.
Recommended resources:
■ Article – “The End of Social Media and the Rise of Recommendation Media” by Michael Mignano
■ Article – The people who want to get rid of the term ‘personality disorder’ by Emily Reynolds for Dazed Digital
■ Book – Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture by Ryan Bush
Craving more? Beco…
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manipulative love: narcissistic mothers, enmeshed parentified children, and emotional incest (reviewing jeanette mccurdy's book "i'm glad my mom died")
30 augustus 2022 · 1 uur 47 min
Former Nickelodeon child-star Jennette McCurdy's provocatively titled memior “I’m Glad My Mom Died” became a near-instant New York Times bestseller after its release in August 2022. The Audible version of the book is narrated by Jeanette herself and details her struggles with disordered eating, alcohol addiction, OCD, unstable relationships and – most notably – her extremely complicated relationship with her codependent, overbearing, and abusive mother. In this episode, I discuss my reflections on the book. Through dissecting Jeannette’s experiences she so bravely shared in this memoir, we’ll dive into what we can learn about parentification, enmeshment (also known as “emotional incest”) and the devastating impact these kinds of toxic family dynamics can have on childhood development that carry on far into adulthood. Lees meer
Questions answered and topics explored in this episode:
■ The exploitation of children in the entertainment industry (the trauma faced by child actors)
■ The devastating impact of emotionally immature and “narcissistic” parents
■ Signs you may have suffered childhood emotional incest (also known as “covert incest”)
■ Signs you were a parentified child (the damage parentification can have on highly sensitive children)
■ “The narcissistic mother” (the long-term effects these traits have on their daughters)
■ How childhood trauma can lead to adult identity problems
■ How children of cancer patients can experience post-traumatic stress disorder (parental cancer and its psychosocial impact on children)
Recommended resources:
■ I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
■ The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information co…
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can chronic porn use destroy your sex life? (billie eilish thinks so)
23 augustus 2022 · 1 uur 19 min
In a recent interview with Howard Stern, 20-year-old singer-songwriter Billie Eilish revealed the devastating impact that having access to hardcore pornography from as early as age 11 had on her self-image and sexuality. In this episode, we delve into Billie's comments and explore the harmful effects of online porn on millennials and Gen-Z. Additionally, we discuss the potential increased risk of negative impact on individuals who experience symptoms of mental health disorder labels, including borderline personality disorder. Tune in to gain insight into the complex issue of easy access to porn and its effects on mental health and sexuality. Lees meer
Key timestamps in this conversation:
02:00 – Discussion of our “quote of the week” by Stoic philosopher Epictetus (exploring how those who identify with symptoms of BPD can learn to tackle our issues with control)
08:00 – Billie Eilish’s comments on porn and an in-depth exploration on sexuality and mental health disorder labels
50:00 – Preview of this week’s premium episode on “borderline abuse”
Questions answered in this episode:
■ The impact easy access to porn has in our developmental years
■ The negative effects of porn on expectations of sex and body image
■ How the overuse of porn can negatively impact your mental health
■ The role mental health symptoms can play in your sex life and perception of intimacy
■ What is “borderline abuse” (“borderline abuse”) and is it a real thing?
Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultatio…
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are you at rock bottom and questioning the point of life? (this one's for you)
16 augustus 2022 · 34 min
I received two listener emails this week that ripped my heart open. One was struggling with addiction, and the other was devastated by a recent heartbreak. These voicemails reminded me of why I started my podcast in the first place, so I decided to record this episode. It is a love letter to the person at rock bottom. The person who is so heartbroken, they feel like they can’t go on—the person questioning if they even want to be on this earth anymore. Through the words of authors who have inspired me and gotten me through my own dark times, it is my hope that this episode can be a light in the darkness. If it inspires just one person to keep fighting, it will have all been worth it. Lees meer
Authors quoted in the episode:
■ In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Maté
■ The Hero's Journey: Joseph Campbell on His Life & Work by Joseph Campbell
■ Ether: Into the Nemesis by L.J. Vanier
Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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your symptoms of "mental illness" might be hidden spiritual gifts (ft. dr. lisa miller)
26 juli 2022 · 1 uur 5 min
Do people who identify with symptoms of what is known as borderline personality disorder have a unique ability to connect to the transcendent? Are chronic feelings of emptiness less about being “disordered” and more about being spiritually starved? My guest on this episode, Dr. Lisa Miller, seems to think so. Lisa Miller has devoted her career to scientific research proving that spirituality is a natural aspect of our humanity and that our brains become more resilient and robust because of it. We are each born with an innate desire to question the world around us in search of something more. Lees meer
A leading generational psychologist on the benefits of spirituality, Lisa graduated from Yale University and the University of Pennsylvania, earning her doctorate in psychology. She is currently a professor of psychology and education at Teachers College, Columbia University, and the Founder and Director of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute, the first Ivy League graduate program and research institute in spirituality and psychology. In her book The Awakened Brain, Dr. Miller uses science to show that spirituality (different from religious belief) is one of the strongest protective factors against psychological suffering. Her research clearly shows that our physiological development presents us with occasional moments of crisis at certain times in our lives. When we meet those moments of crisis and trauma from a spiritual perspective, we are more protected against psychological suffering in later life stages. Dr. Miller believes that healing from trauma requires bringing greater awareness to the signs and lessons that the universe has for us and bringing those lessons into the future without getting stuck in rumination over the past.
Questions answered in this episode:
■ The unexpected gifts inside the traits of borderline personality disorder (BPD / EUPD)
■ BPD and the importance of spirituality
■ Benefits of spirituality in recovery from trauma
■ How our current “me-c…
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pete davidson: understanding patterns of unstable relationships and self-harm
12 juli 2022 · 1 uur 36 min
In this episode, we take a closer look at comedian and actor Pete Davidson’s mental health journey, examining his openness about emotional struggles and trauma, and the journey that eventually led to his diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD) in 2017. Known for his candidness, Pete has spoken about facing intense emotions, dissociation, explosive anger, depression, and challenges with substance use from a young age—experiences that have shaped both his personal life and public image. Through interviews and biographical pieces, we’ll explore how Pete’s story sheds light on the complexities of mental health and resilience in the spotlight. Lees meer
Topics covered include:
Pete’s early experiences with trauma and loss, including the death of his father
His history with inpatient treatment and rehab, and his journey through recovery
How mental health struggles have influenced his career, including his time on SNL
Insights into his relationship history and how emotional challenges have impacted his personal life
The role of social media in his life and his decision to step away from it
His experiences with tattoos and tattoo removal as forms of self-expression
By analyzing Pete’s story, we’ll gain a broader perspective on the intersections of fame, mental health, and personal recovery, uncovering the resilience it takes to face these struggles openly. Join us for a reflective look at the ups and downs of Pete Davidson’s journey and the powerful message his story offers about mental health.
Recommended resources:
■ Pete Davidson’s full interview with Charlamagne Tha God (YouTube)
■ The Tragic Real-Life Story of Pete Davidson (Full Grunge Article)
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained …
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the root cause of your deep fear of abandonment
28 juni 2022 · 41 min
Abandonment fear runs deep in the human psyche—it’s a primal instinct, woven into the fabric of how we connect with others. For some, this fear is manageable, an underlying hum that shapes relationships in subtle ways. But for those who struggle with emotion dysregulation, abandonment fear can feel overwhelming and consuming, creating patterns of self-protection that lead to isolation and confusion in relationships. Lees meer
In this episode, we explore what it truly means to fear abandonment on a profound level. We’ll look at the difference between physical and emotional abandonment, how these fears develop, and the ways they can hijack our relationships if left unchecked. Many individuals who identify with certain mental health labels, such as borderline personality traits, often find that their most intense triggers stem from the terror of being left behind. Understanding this connection can be the first step toward breaking out of reactive, self-isolating cycles and finding healthier ways to relate to others.
Topics we’ll explore together include:
The real, lived experience of abandonment fear, beyond clinical definitions
Common symptoms and root causes of abandonment fear
How this fear intertwines with BPD traits and emotional reactivity
What triggers abandonment anxiety, and how it shows up in real-life scenarios
This episode offers a compassionate look at one of our most powerful fears and provides tools for navigating relationships in a way that fosters resilience and connection, rather than withdrawal. Join me as we unpack the layers of abandonment fear and explore ways to reclaim a sense of stability and self-trust.
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for e…
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how to cope when you feel like you have no control over your explosive emotions
20 juni 2022 · 49 min
If you’re a highly sensitive person who often feels overwhelmed by intense emotions, this episode is for you. We dive into the experience of having “big feelings”—emotions so strong they can feel all-encompassing and difficult to manage. Together, we’ll explore the concept of emotional permanence, the sensation that certain emotions feel unshakable in the moment, as well as emotional dysregulation, which can lead to intense, unpredictable reactions. We also discuss a challenging but important topic: how difficulties with emotion regulation can sometimes result in unintentional harm to loved ones. This episode sheds light on how to navigate these intense feelings with greater awareness and offers compassionate insights for fostering healthier, more balanced relationships. Join me as we unpack the complexities of big emotions and how we can learn to honor our sensitivity without allowing it to consume us or those we care about. Lees meer
Recommended resources:
■ Martha Beck podcast interview about how deciding to quit lying for a year changed her life
■ Book | The Way of Integrity: Finding Your Path to Your True Self by Martha Beck
■ YouTube video further describing issues with emotional permanence and BPD
■ Article on how to deal with emotional impermanence
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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using radically open dialectical behavior therapy (RO DBT) to overcome issues with overcontrol
30 mei 2022 · 1 uur 47 min
Are you known for always doing things “right,” following the rules, and keeping your emotions in check? If so, you may have what’s known as an Overcontrolled style of coping. People with this temperament are highly detail-oriented, vigilant to potential threats, and possess strong inhibitory control—the ability to hold back impulses and behaviors. On the outside, they often appear “high-functioning,” but beneath the surface, they may feel isolated, rigid, and unseen, with their struggles often going unnoticed. Lees meer
In today’s episode, I’m joined by Larry Dahmer, a psychological associate specializing in Radically Open Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (RO-DBT), a therapeutic approach designed to support individuals with Overcontrolled coping styles. Larry shares insights into this groundbreaking therapy, explaining how it differs from standard DBT and why it can be transformative for those who feel stuck in cycles of perfectionism and emotional restraint.
We explore topics like:
What RO-DBT is and how it helps those with emotional overcontrol
The unique role of self-inquiry in RO-DBT and how it fosters flexibility and openness
Why Western society often encourages emotional overcontrol, and how this can lead to loneliness and disconnection
Embracing emotions like hopelessness and anxiety as teachers rather than enemies
Inspiring stories of change from Larry’s RO-DBT clients
If you or someone you know feels pressured to always “hold it together” but struggles to connect authentically with others, this episode offers a compassionate look at the Overcontrolled coping style and introduces tools for living with greater openness and fulfillment.
Learn more about RO-DBT at https://www.radicallyopen.net/
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromthe…
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how trauma throws you off balance (understanding your window of tolerance) [+ a discussion on asexuality]
23 mei 2022 · 1 uur 7 min
Have you ever felt completely out of control of your emotions—sudden waves of rage, paralyzing anxiety, or a numb disconnection from life? If so, you might be living outside your “window of tolerance,” the optimal state where you’re able to handle emotions, manage frustrations, and make clear-headed decisions. When we fall outside this window, we can find ourselves hijacked by intense reactions, feeling either overwhelmed or entirely shut down. Lees meer
In this episode, we explore the concept of the window of tolerance and how it relates to trauma recovery and emotional regulation. You’ll learn how our bodies respond to stress through fight, flight, or freeze mechanisms and why staying within this “optimal zone” can be key to living a grounded, emotionally resilient life. This episode is for anyone looking to better understand their emotional responses and develop tools to navigate life with greater stability and awareness.
Note: The first half of this episode includes a discussion of a book passage on asexuality and responses to listener questions on intuition, relationships, and emotional dysregulation. If you want to skip directly to the window of tolerance discussion, jump to minute 39.
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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signs you lack personal boundaries (feeling used and drained by other people)
16 mei 2022 · 1 uur 4 min
Weak or nonexistent personal boundaries can leave us feeling drained, manipulated, and even resentful. In this episode, we’ll explore how to recognize if you’re struggling with boundary issues and the impact this can have on your sense of self-worth, emotional stability, and relationships. Many of us learn unhealthy boundary patterns early on, often tied to codependency and the need to please others, which can ultimately lead to feelings of worthlessness and passivity. If you want to skip straight to the boundaries discussion, jump to minute 16 after the listener Q&A. We’ll cover what personal boundaries truly are, why they matter, and how a lack of boundaries can affect your interactions with friends, family, and partners. We’ll also debunk common myths about setting boundaries and highlight the positive changes you can expect when you start asserting your needs. Lees meer
In the premium version of this episode, available for subscribers, we take an even deeper dive into boundary-setting:
Understanding that you have the right to set boundaries and define your needs
How to uncover your boundaries by exploring your personal needs
Strategies for confidently saying “no” and recognizing when someone has overstepped
How to stop overcommitting and reclaim your time and energy
Sample conversation frameworks to help you set clear boundaries with loved ones and protect your emotional well-being
This episode offers practical insights and tools to help you reclaim control over your life, develop a healthier sense of self, and foster more fulfilling relationships. Join us as we unpack the essentials of boundary-setting and create a path toward genuine self-respect and stability.
Craving the full episode? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The …
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are you mentally ill or spiritually starved? (the problem with "disorder" and "dysfunction" labels)
10 mei 2022 · 47 min
Is it possible that what we often call “mental illness” might actually be a form of spiritual starvation? In this episode, we explore the limitations of traditional psychiatric diagnoses and question the narratives that define certain behaviors as “disorders” or “dysfunctions.” Diving into the complexities of the medical model in mental health, we discuss why diagnoses like “personality disorder” are often controversial, considering how they can overlook social context and carry heavy stigmas. Lees meer
We also touch on how trauma-informed care and holistic approaches can offer a more compassionate, empowering framework for healing. From alchemical thought and symbolism to spirituality and myth, I’ll share how these elements have played a transformative role in my own recovery, helping me reconnect with a deeper sense of self beyond diagnostic labels. My journey has been guided by the motto “solve et coagula”—to break down and rebuild—a concept that embodies the heart of this episode.
Join me as we question the over-pathologizing of human emotion, explore the powerful role spirituality can play in recovery, and consider how a more integrated approach can help us live beyond the limits of labels.
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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no strings attached: the impact casual sex can have on our mental health
4 mei 2022 · 37 min
In this mini bonus episode, I answer a voicemail question from listener Kelly, who asks how to move forward to the next phase of her recovery journey. Together, we explore what it means to deepen your healing, letting go of old patterns and stepping into new growth. To wrap up, I’m also giving you a sneak peek of a premium episode where I dive into the nuanced topic of using sex as a form of self-harm—a powerful exploration of how unhealed wounds can shape our relationship with intimacy. Lees meer
Craving the full version of this episode? Become a Premium Submarine to join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content, including ALL full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more. For the cost of a couple of coffees a month, you can start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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understanding hyper-sexuality: how a history of trauma leads to sex as self-harm
4 mei 2022 · 1 uur 31 min
In this episode, I dive into the complex and often unspoken ways that those of us with a history of complex trauma may turn to sex and intimacy as coping mechanisms—behaviors that, rather than healing, can lead to self-abandonment and re-traumatization. Through extensive research, I explore how compulsive sexual behavior and hyper-sexuality can emerge as responses to unprocessed trauma, often serving as temporary escapes that ultimately deepen feelings of disconnection. We’ll examine the nuances of what it means to use sex as a form of self-harm, from sexual masochism to other forms of intimacy that may feel more like self-sabotage than self-care. This episode also addresses the risks of engaging in sex work, such as sugar dating, OnlyFans, or prostitution, particularly for those who haven’t had the chance to fully process and heal from past trauma. By bringing these challenging topics to light, my hope is to encourage a more compassionate understanding of how trauma can impact our relationship with intimacy and to offer insights on recognizing and breaking free from cycles that may be keeping us disconnected from ourselves. Join me for an honest conversation that aims to shed light on the intersection of trauma, intimacy, and self-discovery. Lees meer
Click here to check out the full Contrapoints video I played in the beginning of this episode, you can do so. (It's worth it, trust me.)
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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reclaiming your sexual agency after chronic objectification with dr. alexandra solomon
2 mei 2022 · 43 min
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist and expert on love, intimacy, and relationships, to discuss what it truly means to reconnect with our erotic selves and find grounding in genuine pleasure—whether we’re partnered or not. Together, we explore how cultural expectations, societal pressures, and internalized “scripts” can disconnect us from our own desires, leaving us feeling unfulfilled and even resentful toward intimacy. If you’ve ever felt a sense of “sexual blockage” or wondered if you were somehow disconnected from your erotic nature, this conversation is for you. Dr. Solomon and I discuss the experience of performing sexuality instead of enjoying it, the frustration of feeling like intimacy is something we do for others rather than for ourselves, and the harmful impact of constantly putting our own needs last. Lees meer
We also touch on topics that reveal just how pervasive these struggles are:
Dissociating during sex and the emotional distance it creates
The pressure to “perform” sexually as a means of attracting or keeping a partner
Dr. Solomon’s perspective on “the OnlyFans phenomenon” and the idea of “sex as self-harm”
The impact of hardcore pornography on sites like PornHub, reinforcing damaging gendered expectations in intimate relationships
Whether you’ve felt disconnected from your body, struggled with resentment toward intimacy, or been wary of “divine feminine” programs that promise to heal you for a steep price, this episode offers a refreshing, honest exploration of what it means to reclaim pleasure and embrace your own erotic journey on your own terms. Join us for a candid conversation that challenges the scripts and empowers you to reconnect with yourself.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Book | Reclaiming Pleasure by Holly Richmond
Book | Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
Podcast | Pleasure Mechanics
CONNECT WITH ALEXANDRA:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/
Craving more? Become a Premium Su…
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witches and borderline bitches: exploring the rampant sexism in psychiatry
25 april 2022 · 1 uur 1 min
In this episode, we’re confronting the often-overlooked sexist and misogynistic roots of psychiatry, guided by insights from Dr. Jessica Taylor, author of Sexy But Psycho. Dr. Taylor reveals that, even today, simply being female is correlated with nearly every mental disorder listed in the DSM-V. Women are statistically more likely to receive diagnoses such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, BPD, and eating disorders, which raises crucial questions about gender bias in psychiatric practices. We’ll examine the historical context of “hysteria” and how early psychiatric labels were used to control and marginalize women. The discussion also covers the disproportionately high rates of BPD diagnoses among women and how feminist critics view this diagnosis as a reflection of societal attitudes toward women’s responses to trauma and oppression, rather than as an inherent disorder. Through this conversation, we aim to expose and challenge the ways gender discrimination continues to shape mental health diagnoses and explore alternative perspectives that validate women’s experiences and resilience. Lees meer
Recommended resources:
Please Stop Using My Mental Illness to Fulfill Your Fantasy (Healthline article by Kyli Rodriguez-Cayro)
Sexy But Psycho: How the Patriarchy Uses Women’s Trauma Against Them (book by Dr. Jessica Taylor)
Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.
The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.