The Nocturnists

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1. Choosing Home with Tiffany Chan, OD

   8 januari 2026 · 1 uur 14 min

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   This week’s guest on The Nocturnists is optometrist Tiffany Chan, who told a story live onstage at an event produced by Dr. Rebecca George at the Sierra Valley Health Center in Nevada City, California, in 2025. Lees meer

   Tiffany grew up in the Gold Rush town of Grass Valley, built a career in elite academic medicine at Johns Hopkins, and ultimately found her way back home after her mother’s sudden brain bleed transformed her sense of place and purpose.

   In our conversation, we talk about:

   * the tension between academic research and the pull of home

   * how her mother’s medical crises reshaped her understanding of healing

   * the intimacy and continuity of small-town, relationship-driven medicine

   * carrying forward her family’s and community’s cultural and caregiving legacies

   The Nevada City storytelling event was produced through our Nocturnists Satellites program, made possible by a generous grant from the California Health Care Foundation.

   Enjoy,

   Emily and The Nocturnists Team

   Favorite moments from this week’s episode

   The Hamster Wheel“I had just been promoted at one of the top hospitals in the country. I was helping open satellite clinics. My mentor said I could apply for a grant and work toward a PhD. All of those things should have made me happy—but I just felt stuck on this academic hamster wheel, not knowing whether to stay or go.”

   A Mother Who Knew“She told the ER doctor it felt like an ice pick going through her head. They asked how much she’d had to drink, and she said ‘a whole bottle’—meaning water. They meant alcohol. She was right about the bleed. She just didn’t want to be.”

   Training for the Unprepared“All those years lecturing on visual field loss—I had no idea I was training for my own mother. Suddenly, everything I’d studied was right in front of me. I realized I had been preparing for this without knowing it.”

   Crying with Patients“For the first year after my mom died, I cried with a patient every single day. At first it felt unprofessional. Now I t…

2. A Soft Place to Land with Frances Southwick, DO

   19 december 2025 · 1 uur 2 min

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   What if falling in love meant literally falling down? Lees meer

   In this week’s episode of The Nocturnists, physician and writer Frances Southwick shares a story that begins in rural Colorado with unexplained episodes of paralysis. First performed live in Nevada City, this episode is about what it’s like to live inside a body that responds to emotion in unexpected ways, and how a late diagnosis can reframe an entire life.

   Frances originally told this story at “Medicine Story,” a Nocturnists Satellites event hosted by Dr. Rebecca George of Sierra Valley Family Health in Nevada City in 2025, made possible by a generous grant from the California Health Care Foundation.

   Enjoy,

   Emily and The Nocturnists Team

   Favorite moments from this week’s episode

   Love and Collapse“I was holding my notebooks to my chest, about to tell her how I felt, when suddenly I felt weak—not a little weak, but colossally weak. My notebooks tumbled to the floor, and then I did too. I couldn’t move my fingers, my legs, not even my eyes. Annie was holding my hand, asking if I was okay, and I couldn’t answer.”

   The Beautiful Things“For most people with cataplexy, the strongest triggers are strong emotions. But for me, the strongest triggers are the beautiful things in life—children laughing, earnest love, and maybe telling a bunch of strangers the most tender moments of my life.”

   Diagnosis as Narrative Rupture“Learning about narcolepsy forced me to reexamine my whole life retroactively. Being queer, processing trauma, understanding my gender, and then finally understanding this diagnosis—each stage reshaped the story I’d been telling myself. I love doing it, but it’s also tragic, because I see how much suffering might have been avoided.”

   Writing a Rule Book for Survival“Cataplexy isn’t in BLS or ACLS training, so I wrote my own rule book. We travel with a transport chair. I wear a Medic Alert necklace. I’ve taught my coworkers what to do when it happens. Living with this means planning constantly—but it…

3. Medicine Beyond Medicine with Alicia Ashorn and Anthony Thigpen

   12 december 2025 · 53 min

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   This week on The Nocturnists, we hear from Alicia Ashorn and Anthony Thigpen, two community health workers with the Transitions Clinic Network who are redefining what care looks like beyond the hospital walls. Lees meer

   Alicia and Anthony share their personal stories—Alicia’s journey through addiction and recovery, and Anthony’s path through grief, transformation, and reentry work—and how these experiences shape their care for people returning from incarceration. In our conversation, they explore the power of storytelling, the emotional complexity of supporting clients in crisis, and the wisdom required to balance compassion with boundaries. Through vivid anecdotes from the field, they illuminate the essential yet often unseen role of community health workers as bridges between the clinic and the community, offering trust, dignity, and hope to people navigating systems that routinely fail them.

   Alicia and Anthony originally told their stories at “Journeys of Healing: Stories of Resilience and Transformation,” a Nocturnists Satellites event hosted by Transitions Clinic Network in Los Angeles in 2025, made possible by a generous grant from the California Health Care Foundation.

   Enjoy,Emily and The Nocturnists Team

   Favorite moments from this week’s episode

   The Chaos and the Calling“There’s no two days the same. I might be helping someone who’s hungry, someone who can’t get their medication, someone going to court, someone sleeping in their car. From the moment I open my eyes, my phone’s ringing. It’s busy—but this is what I’m called to do.” — Anthony

   Speaking from the Heart“I had practiced my story for weeks, but when it came time to perform, I froze. Everything I’d written went out the window. So I just spoke from my heart. I still don’t remember everything I said, but I know it was real. And when people told me afterward they could relate—that’s when I understood the power of it.” — Alicia

   The Gift and the Curse“Sometimes our clients look up to us so much they’re afrai…

4. Stories that Save Us with Sharon Fennix

   28 november 2025 · 51 min

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   This week, we’re joined by Sharon Fennix—a hotline coordinator with the Transitions Clinic Network (TCN), a community leader shaped by lived experience, and a storyteller whose creativity helped her survive 38 years of incarceration. Sharon’s journey has taken her from running fashion shows and directing original plays inside prison to becoming a trusted source of support for people navigating the vulnerable first steps of reentry. She brings wisdom, humor, honesty, and a remarkable ability to see the human story beneath the surface. Lees meer

   In our conversation, Sharon reflects on how storytelling became her lifeline on the inside—how sewing costumes for fashion shows grew into writing and directing full productions that helped people connect across divides. She talks about the complexities of coming home after decades away, and how being met by someone who shared her lived experience helped her rebuild trust, autonomy, and a sense of possibility. Today, she offers that same grounding presence to others through the TCN hotline.

   Sharon also shares her experience co-producing “Journeys of Healing: Stories of Resilience and Transformation,” a Nocturnists Satellites event hosted by Transitions Clinic Network in Los Angeles in 2025, made possible by a generous grant from the California Health Care Foundation.

   Sharon’s story is full of courage, creativity, and hard-won wisdom. We hope you’ll listen and feel as inspired as we did.

   Enjoy,Emily and The Nocturnists Team

   Favorite moments from this week’s episode

   Each One Teach One“Inside, we used to say each one teach one. Go out, tell someone what you learned, and bring them back. That’s how I approached the parole board. I told them, I’m here to teach you who I am—not who I was. And when they said ‘found suitable,’ I hit the floor. Because I knew that storytelling had set me free.”

   Stories as Healing“Every show I did was someone’s story—women who’d been hurt, abandoned, trafficked, silenced. When they performed, they could f…

5. The Nurse and the Nun with Linda Wick, DNP, APRN

   17 november 2025 · 39 min

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   Dear friends, Lees meer

   Nurse practitioner Linda Wick has spent more than four decades in medicine, beginning her journey as a six-year-old watching nurses care for her injured brother.

   In today’s story, she recalls the early lessons that shaped her career—from the strict nuns who taught her at the College of St. Scholastica to the life-and-death responsibilities of the ICU and dialysis unit. When a medical emergency reunites her with one of her toughest teachers, Sister Helen, Linda is forced to confront the words that haunted her for years.

   We first heard Linda’s story on stage at Intersections, a live storytelling event produced by the Center for the Art of Medicine in Minneapolis in 2024 through our program, The Nocturnists Satellites.

   Below are a few excerpts from Linda’s story—on mentorship, mistakes, and the heart of nursing.

   Enjoy,Emily and The Nocturnists Team

   Favorite moments from this week’s episode

   A Six-Year-Old’s Awakening “I was six years old when my brother was in a terrible car accident. His legs were crushed between two cars, and he lay in traction for weeks. I remember the nurses—the ones who kept him from getting bedsores, who joked with him when he got cocky, and who comforted my mom. I watched them and thought, this is what I want to do. My nursing career started when I was six years old.”

   The Nuns of St. Scholastica “The College of St. Scholastica was run by Benedictine nuns—some like mothers, some like tyrants. Sister Agatha made us memorize the periodic table by heart. Sister Helen Claire taught skills and had no sense of humor. She once told me, ‘One day, you’re going to kill someone.’ I was twenty and thought she was just mean. I had no idea how long I’d remember those words.”

   Integrity When No One’s Watching “Sister Helen also said, ‘Integrity is what you do when nobody’s watching.’ Nursing gives you a thousand chances a day to prove that. You can make a mistake and hide it—and no one would ever know. I remember my first drug error. It wa…

6. Birth and Poetry with Doula Sarah Auna

   7 november 2025 · 51 min

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   This week, I’m joined by Sarah Auna, a birth doula whose story we first heard live on stage at Intersections, a live storytelling event produced by the Center for the Art of Medicine in Minneapolis in 2024 through our program, The Nocturnists Satellites. Lees meer

   In her story, she takes us into a freestanding birth center, where chaplain Katie labors surrounded by her family, her midwives, and the steady encouragement of Sarah’s hands. The story captures what happens when the human body—guided by trust, safety, and love—takes over. It’s a reflection on lineage, nervous system regulation, and the quiet holiness of birth.

   Below are a few moments that stayed with me. Please enjoy!

   Enjoy,Emily and The Nocturnists Team

   Favorite moments from this week’s episode

   The Sphincter Law “Humans have lots of sphincters in their bodies. Their eyes, their mouths, their cervix—all talking to each other like a walkie-talkie system. When the room feels safe, they open. When the room feels tense, they close. So oxytocin isn’t just about labor—it’s about love, safety, and belonging.”

   Lioness at the Birth Throne “Her curls have fallen out—tumbles of brown and gray ringlets. There’s not a scrap of clothing in sight. She stalks up to the silks, runs them between her hands, gets as low as she can, and bites down. The midwives’ headlamps tilt toward the floor. Her husband’s arms hold her like scaffolding. And then Jasper is there—all ten pounds of him.”

   A Birth that Healed a Family “Down the hill, Katie’s mother—an L&D charge nurse—is waiting, along with her two sisters, also charge nurses. Birth, for them, has always been a story of emergencies. But when Katie gave birth outside the hospital walls, their family’s story changed. It became one of joy.”

   Lioness Returns “Two years later, after a divorce and a pandemic, I walked into a bar for what I thought was a business meeting. I met Rachel—a musician, a single mom, a late-in-life bloomer like me. She told me she’d written a song called ‘Lion…

7. In This Body with Meghan Rothenberger, MD

   31 oktober 2025 · 48 min

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   This week, I’m joined by Dr. Meghan Rothenberger, an infectious disease doctor whose story we first heard live on stage at Intersections, a live storytelling event produced by the Center for the Art of Medicine in Minneapolis in 2024 through our program, The Nocturnists Satellites. Lees meer

   Meghan grew up feeling uncertain and disconnected from her body. As a teenager, she struggled with an eating disorder, trying to make sense of the changes of adolescence and the cultural messages around her. Years later, as a medical student studying anatomy, she began to see the body not as something to control, but as something wondrous and worthy of care. In this conversation, Meghan talks with me about growing up, navigating an eating disorder, and finding healing through science, pregnancy, and the everyday miracle of being alive. Together, they explore how understanding the body can open the door to compassion, connection, and belonging within oneself.

   Enjoy,Emily and The Nocturnists Team

   Favorite moments from this week’s episode

   The Poem That Stayed“The boy on the ski lift yelled, ‘Roses are red, violets are black—why is your chest as flat as your back?’ I laughed like it didn’t matter, but it did. That poem took root. It became a script I recited to myself for years—that my body was a problem to solve.”

   Control and Disappearing“When I started restricting food, it didn’t feel like punishment—it felt like control. I was good at disappearing. Praise poured in. I didn’t know then that disappearing was the thing I’d have to unlearn for the rest of my life.”

   The Body as Miracle“In anatomy lab, I looked down at this incredible architecture—nerves like threads of gold, arteries like rivers. I realized my body was doing all of this too. The sheer precision of it was awe-inspiring. It was the first time I thought: maybe my body isn’t ugly—it’s miraculous.”

   Motherhood as Reclamation“Pregnancy forced me to surrender control. My body was suddenly huge and capable and unapologetic. It w…

8. The Chaplain and The Doctor with Chaplain Betty Clark & Jessica Zitter, MD

   17 oktober 2025 · 57 min

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   Today I’m joined by Chaplain Betty Clark, a hospital chaplain, community leader, and lifelong caregiver, and Dr. Jessica Zitter, a critical and palliative care physician, author of Extreme Measures, and filmmaker. Their friendship sits at the heart of the new documentary The Chaplain and the Doctor, born from years of working side by side at Oakland’s Highland Hospital. Together, they’ve built trust across lines of race, faith, and hierarchy, exploring what it really means to care for patients and for each other. In our conversation, Betty and Jessica reflect on the art of chaplaincy, the courage it takes to face bias and racism in medicine, the healing power of storytelling, and the idea of the “wounded healer.” What emerges is a moving portrait of friendship, honesty, and grace, an invitation to stay, as Betty put it, “blessed in the mess.” Lees meer

   Warmly,Emily and The Nocturnists

   Favorite moments from this week’s episode

   “Look with your ears, listen with your eyes.”“I tell volunteer chaplains to look with your ears and listen with your eyes. You’re looking for things that may not mean what they seem. You might see a rosary hanging on the bed and think someone’s Catholic, but maybe it’s just decoration. Observation is sacred—it’s how we really hear people.”

   A Thunderbolt Realization“There are moments in life when you realize you’ve been thinking about something wrong. That’s what happened when I called Betty. I realized how much armor doctors wear—how scared we are, how defensive. Once you see that, it’s hard to unsee it. That’s when I opened up to her, and to friendship.”

   Language and Respect“There’s certain language you don’t use with African Americans. Don’t say ‘we’re going to wean you off this medicine’—that’s baby talk. Say, ‘we’ll lower your dose as your pain improves.’ Language matters. It’s about respect.”

   Bias at the Bedside“I’ve been that doctor at 3 a.m., thinking: oh, the patient in bed five with sickle cell, asking for more Dilaudid. Working with Bett…

9. Questions Without Answers with Sarah Manguso

   6 oktober 2025 · 45 min

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   Dear Friends, Lees meer

   What does it mean to write about illness in fragments? How can children’s questions reveal a kind of collective philosophy? On our 70th episode of Conversations, I speak with the writer Sarah Manguso, whose work moves effortlessly between memoir, aphorism, and essay.

   I first encountered Sarah’s writing in Two Kinds of Decay, her account of living with CIDP, a rare neurological disease. The book, composed of crystalline fragments, became a formative text for me as a young doctor-in-training. In this conversation, Sarah reflects on that early work, shares how her perspective has changed with time, and introduces her latest book Questions Without Answers, a collaboration with illustrator Liana Fink.

   Below you’ll find a few excerpts from our talk—on illness, writing, and the surprising wisdom of children’s voices.

   Warmly,Emily and The Nocturnists

   Favorite moments from this week’s episode

   French Fries and Apheresis“You’re sitting there having the procedure, eating the french fries, and then you watch as the blood products actually get more greasy and fatty and filled with fat particles. They get cloudy and opaque. That always stayed with me.”

   Writing the First Memoir“As a younger person, writing before the memoir boom, I was asked more than once, what is a young person like you doing writing her memoirs? You’ve barely lived. And I said, it’s just a memoir of this one experience. I was only remembering one thing. In retrospect, I look at the book and think, this is just blissfully uncomplicated and clear, because that’s how my life felt at the time.”

   Children as Philosophy Machines“These little creatures are art machines. They’re philosophy machines. Almost supernatural, because they dwell in both worlds. My son’s mind was as interesting as the most interesting adults I knew, but with so little life experience that his questions were just bananas. When he asked, ‘When I was inside your body, did you know me? Did you want to meet me? Did I make the w…

10. BONUS - Managing Uncertainty: A Path to Better Patient Care

    3 juli 2025 · 55 min

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    Today, we're releasing a special bonus episode featuring Emily and our "uncertainty correspondent" Alexa Miller, in conversation with the ABIM Foundation. Together, they reflect on the key insights from creating the Uncertainty in Medicine series. Lees meer

    Thank you to the ABIM Foundation for hosting and recording this webinar. To sign up for a webinar in the future, visit buildingtrust.org/webinars.

    Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack.

    The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation.

    The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

    Host: Pamela Browner White

    Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller

    Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

    This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thenocturnists.substack.com

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