The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Alle afleveringen
392 afleveringen, van nieuw naar oud
-
Ep. 40: Bonnie Badenoch on Healing Attachment with Safety and Presence
29 juni 2021 · 58 min
Today we wrap up this month's focus on attachment with my dear mentor and friend, Bonnie Badenoch. Lees meer
Bonnie Badenoch, PhD, LMFT is a thought-leader in the relational neurosciences. When I think about her contribution to this emerging field of study, I think ‘integrator.’ Bonnie has helped us all feel into the many different strands that are woven together to become what we now call relational neuroscience- interpersonal neurobiology, affect regulation theory, polyvagal theory, memory reconsolidation theory, attachment theory, and more. Bonnie has taken the science and created space for clinicians to make meaning of how the science comes alive in us and in our work with clients.
Bonnie knows the science of relationships better than anyone I know, but more than that she knows relationships. She’s been an integral part of my own journey- without Bonnie there certainly would not have been this attachment series or the Brilliance of Attachment eBook.
Bonnie is the author of three books- Bing a Brain Wise Therapist, The Brain-Savvy Therapist’s Work Book, and her newest book, Heart of Trauma. If you want to learn more about the amazing work Bonnie does in the world, head over to the website www.NurturingtheHeart.com
If you'd rather read a summary of the interview instead of listening on the podcast, you can head over to my blog https://robyngobbel.com/bonniebadenoch
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiti…
-
Ep. 39: How Attachment Changes
23 juni 2021 · 38 min
Part 6 of 6 in the June 2021 series on attachment! Lees meer
The part you've probably been waiting for: how does attachment change?
If you haven't caught the previous five episodes in this series on attachment, be sure to check them out.
In this episode, we look at
How important it is to recognize insecure attachment as protective, trusting in the truth that things only change once we stop trying to make them change
What was needed at the time- but not received- for each stream of insecure attachment
How to meet that need now, creating a possible experience for that experience in attahcment to shift toward security
The power of rupture and repair in shift toward secure attachment
There’s a lot in this one episode and the whole six-part series! I made the series into a beautiful eBook so you don’t have to take notes and you can review it as often as you want. To download the F R E E ebook, click here: https://robyngobbel.com/ebook
Or even better!!! Go to my website right away and dowload the free eBook!!!
Yup!! I took this entire six part series and had it beautifully and professional designed into an eBook! You can download it, read it slowly, read it repeatedly- whatever you want.
Head over to https://robyngobbel.com/ebook to receive the free download.
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professional…
-
Ep. 38: The Tragedy of Disorganized Attachment
22 juni 2021 · 34 min
***Possible Trigger Warning*** Lees meer
Learning about disorganized attachment might feel overwhelming and bring up uncomfortable feelings. Listen in a place and at a time you can take breaks and seek regulation. Titrate yourself! Maybe read the article on the blog instead of listening to the podcast. www.RobynGobbel.com/disorganizedattachment
***********
Another episode in the June 2021 series on attachment!
Today is all about disorganized attachment. If you haven't caught the previous four episodes in this series on attachment, be sure to check them out.
In this episode, we look at
What happens when a baby's attachment system has them fleeing toward their caregiver when they are afraid, but the caregiver is who is causing the fright
Why disorganized is disorganized- it's the only attachment 'style' that isn't organized
The kinds of experiences an infant can experience as disorganizing
There’s a lot in this one episode and the whole six-part series! I made the series into a beautiful eBook so you don’t have to take notes and you can review it as often as you want. To download the F R E E ebook, click here: https://robyngobbel.com/ebook
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Foc… -
Ep. 37: A Closer Look at Insecure Avoidant Attachment
16 juni 2021 · 26 min
Another episode in the June 2021 series on attachment! Lees meer
Today is all about insecure avoidant attachment.
Avoidant attachment is in the category of 'organized' attachment- meaning, the infant figures out an organized way to get their attachment needs met in the best way possible. So smart!
In this episode, we look at
The behavior patterns that lead to avoidant attachment
The attachment needs of connection and autonomy, and which one is harder for babies with avoidant attachment
Avoidant attachment impact on regulation
The hope versus the expectation of avoidant attachment
There’s a lot in this one episode and the whole six-part series! I made the series into a beautiful eBook so you don’t have to take notes and you can review it as often as you want. To download the F R E E ebook, click here: https://robyngobbel.com/ebook
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) -
Ep. 36: A Closer Look at Insecure Anxious Attachment
15 juni 2021 · 31 min
Another episode in the June 2021 series on attachment! Lees meer
Today is all about insecure anxious attachment.
Anxious attachment is in the category of 'organized' attachment- meaning, the infant figures out an organized way to get their attachment needs met in the best way possible. So smart!
In this episode, we look at
The behavior patterns that lead to anxious attachment
The attachment needs of connection and autonomy, and which one is harder for babies with anxious attachment
Anxious attachment impact on regulation
The hope versus the expectation of anxious attachment
There’s a lot in this one episode and the whole six-part series! I made the series into a beautiful eBook so you don’t have to take notes and you can review it as often as you want. To download the F R E E ebook, click here: https://robyngobbel.com/ebook
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institu… -
Ep. 35: A Closer Look at Secure Attachment
9 juni 2021 · 38 min
Here we are with the THIRD episode in this monthly focus on attachment! Lees meer
Today is allllll about secure attachment.
85% of the time, a child’s attachment experience will parallel the working model of attachment of the principal person caring for her. ~Eric Hesse
Whoa. Well, if that's the case, the obviously we have to first talk about attachment in adults and caregivers.
In this episode we look at five characteristics of an adult with secure attachment.
Then we look at some of the characteristics of a child with secure attachment.
THEN we look at the inner working model that develops from secure attachment.
There’s a lot in this one episode and the whole six-part series! I made the series into a beautiful eBook so you don’t have to take notes and you can review it as often as you want. To download the F R E E ebook, click here: https://robyngobbel.com/ebook
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professional… -
Ep. 34: Back to Basics: Attachment
8 juni 2021 · 39 min
June 2021 is allllll about attachment! We kicked off this special series on attachment last week with my interview with author Bethany Saltman and her memoir "Strange Situation." Lees meer
Today- we are going back to basics.
Attachment is something that gets a lot of airtime but also, a lot of confusion.
In today's episode we'll talk about John Bolwby and how he brilliantly noticed that attachment is about physical (and emotional) survival.
We explore the difference between safe haven and secure base, and about how attachment is both about connection and autonomy.
We look at the three attachment behaviors Bowlby identified:
Seek, monitor, and maintain proximity
Use the attachment figure as the secure base
Flee to their attachment figure when afraid
Going Back to Basics certainly means highlighting the work of Mary Ainsworth, which ultimately led to The Strange Situation and the attachment classifications we now know as secure and insecure.
I'm a big fan of scaffolding (which you know if you're a member of The Club or you've taken Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain online digital course) so consider this episode an important part of the scaffolding of attachment. We've got to get clear on the basics before moving on!
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Imme…
-
Ep. 33: Bethany Saltman with A Mother's Journey into the Science of Attachment
1 juni 2021 · 58 min
Bethany Saltman is the author of part memoir part biography Strange Situation- A Mother’s Journey into the Science of Attachment. Bethany is a professional researcher, writer, and longtime Zen student who went searching for what she felt was missing when she was a new mom. Lees meer
Like myself, Bethany discovered Dr. Sears’ The Baby Book on attachment parenting when she was pregnant with her now 15-year-old daughter (my son is 15 and almost the exact same age!) and had expectations about what motherhood and parenting was going to look like: a blissful time where she enjoyed the natural awakenings of maternal instinct.
Which did not happen.
Bethany remembers that she wasn’t patient with her daughter. She didn’t feel very loving toward her. And ultimately she felt broken because Dr. Sears had promised in his book that attachment parenting was easy because it ‘feeds on a mother’s natural intuition.’ Bethany stated she was doing her best but also doing a lot of things wrong as a mom- and couldn’t figure out why.
So she went on a deep-dive journey into exploring the science of attachment, in particular Mary Ainsworth and The Strange Situation.
Bethany’s exploration into the science of attachment led her to the conclusion that behaviors have actually very little to do with attachment. There isn’t a checklist. Raising a child with secure attachment isn’t about breastfeeding or co-sleeping.
It has to do with how you think and feel about your attachments and how this is transmitted from mind to mind, generation to generation.
I can't wait to hear what you think about this interview with Bethany!!!
You can find Bethany on instagram @Bethany_Saltman or on her website at www.BethanySaltman.com. Grab her book Strange Situation wherever books are sold but try to get it from your local bookstore ;)
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration …
-
Ep. 32: Why Good Times Can Suddenly Go Bad
25 mei 2021 · 23 min
I'll bet you are familiar with this baffling phenomenon. Lees meer
Everything seems great. Fun! Even laughter and real good times.
And all of the sudden- completely dysregulation and melt-down.
Sometimes even just the anticipation of something fun can lead to dysregulation.
I know that understanding the why doesn't exactly solve this problem, but I definitely find that understanding the why can open up compassion and keep us more regulated. Which then means we can respond instead of react.
In today's episode we are looking at the science behind why this happens.
It's science- not sabotage! Promise!
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) -
Ep. 31: Lisa Dion on how Regulation Does Not Equal Calm
18 mei 2021 · 56 min
What if I told you that calm isn't best? Calm isn't what we are working toward! And prioritizing calm gives other states of the nervous system a bad wrap! Lees meer
Calm is just a byproduct of an attempt to regulate! In fact, there are risks to focusing on calm as our primary goal.
On today's episode, I'm thrilled to introduce you to Lisa Dion, LPC, RPT-S, is an international teacher, creator of Synergetic Play Therapy, founder and President of the Synergetic Play Therapy Institute, and host of the Lessons from the Playroom podcast. She is the author of Aggression in Play Therapy: A Neurobiological Approach for Integrating Intensity and is the 2015 recipient of the Association for Play Therapy’s Professional Education and Training Award of Excellence.
Lisa and I have a lovely time discussing the difference between regulated and calm, including the risks of pretending to be calm when we aren't. As parents and clinicians who care for kids with a history of trauma, it's important to negotiate ways within ourselves that we can be honest and congruent with our true experiences (maybe we are mad!) while still remaining regulated and offering felt-safety.
Wait what?! Regulated and mad?!?!
Yup. Regulated and mad. Have a listen to see what Lisa has to say about this!
You can find more of Lisa's work over at Synergetic Play Therapy Institue, including her book for clinicians, Aggression in Play Therapy.
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/…
-
{BONUS} What Behavior Really Is- And How to Change It
13 mei 2021 · 1 uur
On May 10 and 11, 2021, I taught a free masterclass called What Behavior Really Is and How to Change it. Maybe you were there! But maybe you weren’t. To be honest, I do not love watching videos myself. I would much rather put in my ear buds and listen to the audio only- even if it meant missing the slides. Lees meer
So, with that in mind, I’m releasing the audio from that masterclass here as a bonus podcast episode!
I hope you enjoy!!!
********************************
I suggested several resources in this episode!Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
The Club: A Virtual Community for Parents of Kids Impacted by Trauma
Blogs:
Focus on Arousal, Not Behavior Part 1
Focus on Arousal, Not Behavior Part 2
Felt-Safety? What's That?
Connection or Protection
Always Yearning for Connection
What's Regulation Got to Do With It
Boundaries with ConnectionWe can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Ba… -
Ep. 30: Trauma Behavior? Or Just Regular Kid Acting-Up Behavior?
11 mei 2021 · 45 min
You’ve asked yourself “Is this a behavior that’s coming from my child’s trauma? Or is this regular acting out kid behavior???” Lees meer
Sometimes it’s pretty obvious but if you’re asking yourself that question, you’re probably in a situation where it isn’t obvious.
What if I told you it doesn’t matter?
Hear me out.
Why do you want to figure that out? Usually because it feels like you’ll handle the situation different based on the answer.
But actually, it doesn’t matter. And it’s impossible to determine anyway.
What you really want to think about is- how dysregulated is my child?
And then respond to that!!
There are some core truths about humans- regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well. So if you’re child isn’t doing well- ask yourself if this is about regulation, connection, felt-safety or some combination of those.
Then, based on your child’s level of arousal/dysregulation, you can intervene in a way that will calm their arousal and bring back their owl brain.
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulatio… -
{BONUS} Mother's Day is Hard (or worse...)
9 mei 2021 · 17 min
Maybe 'hard' doesn't even come close to describing your Mother's Day. Lees meer
If so, this episode is for you.
I awoke at 4am this morning. Not in the plan but sometimes it happens. Up alone in the dark I decided to record an episode for everyone out there who is dreading today.
I see you. Your pain is real and it's valid and I see you.
I am sending infinite amounts compassion out into the universe...just for you.
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) -
Ep. 29: Marshall Lyles with Be Brave. Be Reflective. Be Connected. Be Human.
4 mei 2021 · 1 uur 1 min
Marshall Lyles is one of my favorite humans on the planet. How did I get so lucky as to call him one of my closest friends, as well as a dear colleague who enjoys the creation process with me. Lees meer
Marshall is a dad, a therapist, a creator. We met and connected over our love for supporting the families of kids impacted by trauma, but our relationship has grown into so much more.
Marshall is one of those humans who can combine deep thinking with deep humor. He isn't afraid of asking the hard questions but he intuitively knows how to infuse delight into just the right moments.
In this episode, Marshall and I discuss the importance of our ability to be reflective as parents and as people- meaning, our ability to think about ourselves and how we are impacting our children and how they show up in the world. There is a certain amount of awe in realizing that our children come to know themselves largely because of who we show them they are. And our capacity to do that in the truest most authentic way is largely dependent upon our ability to be reflective with ourselves and how allllllll the previous generations have impacted us and how we see ourselves.
It sounds heavy I know but Marshall's gift is taking the heavy and bringing in ease. And humor.
You'll love this episode, promise.
When you're done, go find Marshall!!! www.MarshallLyles.com as well as the amazing, one-of-a-kind workshop in Austin, TX at The Therapists Workshop.
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club f…
-
Ep. 28: Your Child Wants Connection...Promise.
27 april 2021 · 23 min
Kids who have been hurt inside connection and relationship protect themselves from getting hurt again. Lees meer
This can leave us feeling that they don't want connection.
Which leaves us feeling like we don't want to offer connection. It starts to hurt too bad to keep offering something so vulnerable when we keep getting rejected.
Maybe it would help to know that humans need connection to survive. Your child may be acting like they don't need or want connection, but they do.
In fact, the intensity with which they work to reject connection is the intensity with which they've been hurt in connection.
It feels hopeless, sometimes (or much of the time) to love a person who rejects connection.
It feels hopeless but it isn't hopeless. In fact, in this episode I'll tell you what that hopeless really is.
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) -
Ep. 27: Marti Smith on Becoming a Connected Therapist
20 april 2021 · 56 min
You know someone is going to be a ton of fun when their nickname is Queen of Lycra. Dear listeners, let me introduce you to Marti Smith, Occupational Therapist, TBRI Practitioner, and Fellow with the Child Trauma Academy. Lees meer
Marti and I could talk for hours about the sensory system, the body, movement, and the overlap between all of this an attachment- but we'll have to come back another time for the fun conversation. Today we are lucky enough to have Marti vulnerably how the personal and professional overlap. How through her work becoming a more connected occupational therapist Marti has become a more connected mom, partner, and person.
You can find Marti's trauma-tips video series at www.CreativeTherapies.com
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) -
Ep. 26: Toxic Shame: Why was I failing at Shame Resilience?
13 april 2021 · 34 min
The good Texas social worker that I was (am???) meant I discovered...and loved...Dr. Brene Brown's work on shame resilience pretty early on. Lees meer
I loved it. Finally. A way out of shame!
Except...then I stopped loving it. It seemed I couldn't even do shame resilience right because all the things Dr. Brown talked about weren't helping me.
It wasn't that I wasn't doing it right. It's that there was a missing step. When I learned about the neurobiology of toxic shame, it began to unlock itself for me, ever so slightly.
The science helped me believe "There is nothing wrong with me." Once I could believe it with my thinking brain, I could begin to explore feeling it. Without a doubt, that's much harder! But I'm not sure I would have ever risked that hard work without first understanding the neurobiology of toxic shame.
Toxic shame is not uncommon for people, including children, who have experience early trauma, abuse, neglect, and loss. There is a sense of "I am something very wrong" or even "I exist wrong." It's not true! And understanding the mechanisms of toxic shame proves it.
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on Th… -
Ep. 25: Lacy Alana with Hope- Even when Things Seem Hopeless
6 april 2021 · 1 uur 10 min
Lacy Alana beautifully reminds us that we don't have to be perfect. Our messiness can meet each other's messiness. We can welcome our kids' messiness, and find the strength to keep welcoming it...even when it seems like nothing is working. Lees meer
Lacy is a therapist, program developer, trapeze artist, and improv genius who comes to the podcast as an adult who understands childhood trauma because she experienced childhood trauma, including being a youth who was in out-of-home care as a teenager. Lacy wanted to come on as a person who offers hope for all the parents and professionals out there walking this hard path of caring for a child impacted by trauma.
Find Lacy and all the amazing work she is doing in the world at www.YesAndBrain.com.
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) -
Ep. 24: Parents Need CoRegulation, Too!!!
30 maart 2021 · 36 min
We all need co-regulation. Lees meer
Me. You.
When our kids are getting dysregulated quickly, flipping their lids a lot, or having mountain reactions out of mole-hill sized problems, what they need is more connection and co-regulation.
This is true for grown-ups, too!
There is nothing wrong with you because you flip your lid. Your not a bad parent. You don't need to doubt your integrity. You want to stay regulated and present, and you are trying.
If you know how you want to parent but are struggling to actually parent that way, you need more connection and co-regulation. If your brain stays more integrated and less likely to 'flip it's lid' you'll be able to use all those parenting tools you have stored in your upstairs thinking brain! (In the course, Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain, I call it the Owl brain).
In this episode, I normalize the need for co-regulation (nothing to feel ashamed about in being human!) and explore how co-regulation can be active or passive.
Turn to the people who offer you co-regulation!
And if you need support in intentionally cultivating your circle of support, we are waiting for you over in The Club.
Offering connection and co-regulation is the explicit purpose of The Club. Sure, we offer parenting tools too, and create a space to really explore the model of providing regulation, connection, and felt-safety to support our kid with their challenging behaviors. But The Club is so much more than that. It's a space for you to be seen, felt, and known. It's a space to undo aloneness.
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.co…
-
Ep. 23: Karen Buckwalter and Parenting the Challenging Child
23 maart 2021 · 47 min
I'm so pleased to introduce you to Karen Buckwalter! She is out in the world doing amazing things to support the families of kids impacted by trauma, including training up new clinicians as a Theraplay trainer and consultant, writing books for both therapists (Attachment Theory in Action) and parents (Raising the Challenging Child), and interviewing guests who are at the top of our field on her pocast, Attachment Theory in Action. Lees meer
Karen and I met online- where so many relationships are now nurtured, and have grown to develop deep respect for the work we are each doing. I love that I get to show you how many people are out there in the world, doing good important work for families of kids impacted by trauma- and absolutely loving the work they do.
Karen's newest book, Raising the Challenging Child, has 30 chapters organized into three pillars:
1. Be a Leader
2. Dig Deeper
3. Prepare for SuccessShe prioritized writing a book that was practical, accessible, easy-to-read and easy-to-implement.
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, con… -
Ep. 22: Undoing Aloneness for Parents of Kids with Trauma
16 maart 2021 · 26 min
Parents of kids with a history of relational and complex trauma are some of the loneliness people I’ve ever known. Lees meer
The loneliness of parenting becomes compounded when the loneliness isn’t seen.
The loneliness is traumatic. It leaves an imprint on our spirits that wreaks havoc on our health (physical and mental) and our relationships (with others, and with ourself).
Undoing aloneness is one of the most important ways professionals and helpers can support parents of children impacted by trauma.
Parents- it's important to find spaces where you can be fully welcomed, seen, and known. Friends, partners, therapists, support groups- face to face connections are life-changing of course, but the pandemic has taught us that even virtual connection changes the brain.
Undoing Aloneness is one of the primary reasons I created The Club- a virtual community of connection, co-regulation, and a little education for parents of kids impacted by trauma, and the professionals who adore them. CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members
Over on my website, you can also read and share a blog about Undoing Aloneness.
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The … -
Ep. 21: Jessica Sinarski on Shifting the Paradigm- for Everyone!
9 maart 2021 · 54 min
Jessica Sinarski stays very busy making an impact wherever she can. Jessica trains educators, parents, and professionals- helping them move beyond trauma informed. Jessica is the founder of Brave Brains, an organization that provides resources and education for professionals, and is the author of two amazing children's books. Lees meer
Jessica has a lot of ways she's impacting the world and we get to hear about some of the amazing things she's doing. Jessica and I also have the opportunity to talk about lifting the shame for struggling parents and validating the experience of blocked care. Hearing how Jessica passionately advocates for what parents need so that they can parent the way they want is a tremendous sigh of relief. There's no room for blame or shame- just understanding the brain and approaching ourselves and each other with curiosity and compassion.
You will want to check out all the amazingness Jessica is doing out in the world.
Brave Brains Resources and education for professionals (including educators)
Moving Beyond Trauma Informed training for professionals
Riley the Brain Jessica's first children's book
What's Inside Your Backpack Jessica's newest children's book!We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website y…
-
Ep. 20: Why Do I Get So Dysregulated?
2 maart 2021 · 39 min
Or mad? Or scared? Or overwhelmed? Or shut-down? Lees meer
Why do I make a mountain out of a mole hill? Why can’t I keep it together?
Being ignored (or yelled at or cussed at or disrespected or refusing to eat or do a chore or or or or the list is endless) is never going to feel good. But- have you ever wondered why your brain goes into full on attacking watch dog mode when the reality is- refusing to do a chore, go to school, or even being ignored or yelled at, isn’t life threatening?
If it isn’t life threatening, why does our brain go to attack mode?
We talk about two reasons in today's episode:
Decreased window of stress tolerance
Implicit memory awakenings
***************
I talk about a LOT of resources in this episode!Blog articles:
Finding Playfulness
Self-Compassion
No Behavior is Maladaptive
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professio… -
Ep. 19: Aerial Silks, P!NK, and Curiosity: Robyn Gets Vulnerable
23 februari 2021 · 46 min
Hang on...today's episode is waaaaay different. Lees meer
I wanted to feel more connected to you. So I started with inviting you to feel more connected to me. I asked my dear friend Anne- author, writing coach, and adoptee, to interview ME.
I gave her no rules, no script, and no agenda except that I wanted you to get to know me better.
We walk down a little of different paths together in this episode- we talk about how structure creates felt-safety and a little bit of what it's like to live in my (loud, talkative, energetic, full of feelings) family. We talk about what I've learned about real life from taking aerial silks, my not-so-secret obsession with a pop star, and curiosity.
It was more vulnerable that I expected, and for surprising reasons.
I worried my life sounded too good. Anne and I laughed about that because she is one of the few people who know just how hard life has been lately. And yet at the same time, it is good. Really good. Both are true. Things are hard, chaotic, and out of my control to change. And still really, really, good. It's possible. It's been possible in my family, and it's possible in yours, too.
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervou… -
Ep. 18: Child always dysregulated? Try this!!!
16 februari 2021 · 35 min
Connection. Empathizing. Offering choices. These parenting ideas sound good in theory but if you are living with a child who seems chronically angry or won’t get out of bed or is otherwise pretty much always unhappy or dysregulated- none of those parenting suggestions seem to do much good. So…what should you do instead??? Lees meer
This episode takes you through the three places I always recommend parents start first when they are trying to support their child who feels chronically dysregulated.
1. Food, water, and movement
2. Structure, routing, and predictability
3. Stick closeThese may or may not help your child to decrease their level of arousal and dysregulation but they are always where I recommend parents start first!
You can check on the blog on this topic here: www.RobynGobbel.com/alwaysdysegulated
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professio… -
Ep. 17: Felt-Safety: What's the Big Deal?
9 februari 2021 · 31 min
Felt-safety is an important, yet commonly misunderstood part of parenting a child impacted by trauma (well really, parenting any child or being in any relationship, but we are talking about parenting kids impacted by trauma here). Lees meer
So- what even is felt-safety? Why does it matter? And how do we offer it to our children?
I'll answer these question in this podcast!
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) -
Ep. 16: Mark Vatsaas Helps Parents Feel Seen and Heard
4 februari 2021 · 1 uur 23 min
It's hard to write a summary of this episode because it is so rich with goodness. Lees meer
Mark Vatsaas is a dad and parent coach for parents of kids with challenging behaviors. He's compassionate, clear, articulate, and has a knack for seeing straight through to the heart of the manner (that's my observation of him!!)
There are so many brilliant sound bytes in this episode. It's long but you are going to want to listen to the whole thing.
Mark gives us a peek into his process as a parent coach and describes how he often sees these four themes emerge in his work with struggling parents:
1. Attachment and our drive for survival
2. How our emotions help us navigate our world
3. Defendedness
4. How parents show up- and specifically how they send cues of safety and connection to their childrenThere are a few tears, some laughter, and by the end you will understand by Mark's business is called Seen and Heard. Just listening to this episode will help you feel both seen and heard. Promise.
To learn more about Mark's work, head to www.SeenandHeard.coach. He offers a free 90 minute consultation for parents- no obligation to schedule any additional sessions.
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBo… -
Ep. 15: Lying as a Trauma Driven Behavior
2 februari 2021 · 53 min
Lying is probably the behavior parents seek support with the most. It's confusing. It's triggering. It's exhausting. Lees meer
Did you catch last week's episode on X Ray Vision Goggles? We can use those goggles to get underneath the lying so we can respond in ways that actually sets the boundary and increases the possibility of helping our children developing more socially and relationally appropriate behaviors.
Would you rather about Lying as a Trauma Driven Behavior? Check out my blog! https://robyngobbel.com/lying/
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) -
Ep. 14: Eileen Devine and Brain First Parenting
28 januari 2021 · 35 min
My first podcast interview!!! And I tell you what- I chose wisely :) Eileen is a gem and you'll adore her. Lees meer
Eileen is a social worker and parent coach for parents of kids with brain-based difference that have challenging behavioral symptoms. AWESOME, right?
Over the years, Eileen has become a good friend and close colleague. She is doing life-changing work with the families who work with her in her Brain First Parenting Program and Resilience Room. I can't wait for you to meet her!
Check out all the goodness Eileen offers to the world at https://www.eileendevine.com/ and sign up for her free webinar on the Brain First Parenting model.
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) -
Ep. 13: X-Ray Vision Parenting Superpower
26 januari 2021 · 35 min
Hear me out....If I were in charge of giving out superpowers for parents, especially parents of kids with a history of trauma, I'd give you x-ray vision. Lees meer
Attachment research is clear about the power of x-ray vision (except they call is reflective functioning and mentalizing). It is a powerful ingredient of secure attachment.
In today's episode we will explore what kinds of things x-ray vision would tell us about our children and their behaviors and why it matters.
It matters. A lot. Seeing through behaviors to what's underneath is one of the most important skills you could have as a parent!
Since I'm not in charge of hanging out superpowers (yet) we'll have to settle for continued blogs, podcasts, and courses that help you put on your own x-ray vision goggles to see what's underneath your child's behaviors!
Would you rather read about X-Ray vision goggles? Head over to my blog! https://robyngobbel.com/xrayvision/
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersi… -
Ep. 12: Imperfect Parenting is Perfect
19 januari 2021 · 33 min
What if I told you the science is very clear- that our kids do not need perfect parents. Not only that, but perfect parenting would be bad for them! Lees meer
It might seem great in theory if we could always meet our kids needs. It might sound great in theory if someone else could always meet our needs! But when a relationship has a rupture- the next thing that can happen is the repair.
Repair is like drizzled honey. Repair is like nestling into the most magically comfortable bed ever created. Repair is where it's at.
In this episode, we get really clear about why you can rest into self-compassion after you've had a 'not my finest parenting moment' with your child. (And for some tips on self-compassion, check out episode 8). Self-compassion is necessary in order to take the first steps toward repair and there is so much power in repair!!
If you love this episode, you can check out the blog article! https://robyngobbel.com/imperfectparenting/
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club… -
Ep. 11: Changing How We See People Changes People
12 januari 2021 · 40 min
You've heard me say "Changing How We See People Changes People." Let's talk about how I know this is true. It helps us understand why understanding the theory is a 'technique' and why staying regulated 'is a technique' that creates real, true change. Lees meer
We come to know who we are through the eyes of the other. Let's teach our children they are precious and full of infinite worth. Even when their behaviors are difficult.
In the episode, I reference episode 2- No Behavior is Maladaptive- as well as a blog article by the same name. You can read that blog article here: https://robyngobbel.com/maladaptive
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) -
Ep. 10: Not Flipping Your Lid...When Your Kid Flips Theirs
5 januari 2021 · 28 min
How do we not flip our lids when our kids are going bananas? It's HARD. Because dysregulation is quite literally contagious!! And if we flip our lids too then it's usually pretty hard to deescalate the situation. Offering connection, regulation, and felt-safety to our kids is a lot easier if we don't flip our lids! (Although for sure- perfection in parenting is never ever ever required and sometimes, I flip my lid, too!) Lees meer
In this episode, we will look at steps you can take- IN THE MOMENT- of a stressful parenting experience (assuming no one is in literal danger!) that will help you stay regulated (not calm!) so you can tackle the real problem. The real problem is probably your child's regulation, connection, and/or felt-safety!
You can read a blog article that has all the steps written out here (sometimes it's easier to remember things in writing!): www.RobynGobbel.com/notflippingyourlid
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) -
Ep. 9: Co-Regulation Before Self-Regulation
29 december 2020 · 35 min
Self-regulation is a crucial developmental milestone and I’m thrilled that we are turning our eyes toward self-regulation instead of staying focused on behavior modification through rewards and consequences. At the same time, we must remember that self-regulation is developed through repeated and regular experiences of co-regulation with an attuned, regulated, present caregiver. If children are struggling to use their self-regulation skills, it’s quite possible that they aren’t regulated enough to access those skills. They are getting dysregulated too quickly and need co-regulation before they can be expected to use skills on their own. It is these experiences of coregulation that build the neural circuity for what is ultimately labeled self-regulation...so you don’t need to worry that the continued offering of co-regulation will impede the development of self-regulation- it’s exactly the opposite!!! Lees meer
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Trai… -
Ep. 8: Self-Compassion Keeps You Regulated
22 december 2020 · 31 min
I love love love talking about self-compassion for two main reasons. #1- Self-Compassion is solidly anchored in the relational neurosciences- and you know how much I love...and need...for things to be anchored in science. #2- Self-compassion has tenacity. There's no way out. Self-compassion has an answer for all your reasons why you aren't worthy of self-compassion. I love that about self-compassion (probably because people describe me as tenacious- especially, relationally). Lees meer
In this episode, we will explore the science of self-compassion. We'll look at why compassion is the neurobiology of change. Why you deserve compassion. Why compassion is how the brain heals and changes. Compassion can feel risky- and I'll give you the science that might help you feel safe enough to take the vulnerable step toward self-compassion.
To read more about self-compassion, visit robyngobbel.com/selfcompassion
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Pro… -
Ep. 7: Connection or Protection? The Science of Opposition
18 december 2020 · 55 min
The brain has two modes- connection or protection. Lees meer
Protective behaviors include opposition, defiance, aggression- basically, any behavior that doesn't invite connection.
If we want to help shift our children's oppositional behaviors, we must first help their brain shift out of protection and into protection!
This episode was re-recorded on 02/13/2026
You can read more on my blog: robyngobbel.com/connectionorprotection/
Resources mentioned on the podcast:
Match the Energy Not the Dysregulation ep 155
Felt Safety Series- starts at ep 161
Boundaries Series starts at ep 111
Oppositional Behavior Series starts at 156
All Behavior Makes Sense ep 198
Focus on the Nervous System webinar
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) -
Ep. 6: What's Regulation Got To Do With It?
14 december 2020 · 33 min
In a word...EVERYTHING. Lees meer
I talk about regulation constantly. So let's take a moment (or 25 minutes) and really define what that even is.
This episode defines regulation and then defines why it even matters.
When we can see how regulation is underneath behavior challenges, we can prioritize supporting regulation and not just stopping a behavior. This leads to long-term change, not just a short term band-aid solution.
Seeing our children's behavior challenges as regulation challenges means we see them for who they really are. It allows us to stay more regulated and to see them as a child struggling with regulation- not a bad child.
Because changing how we see people changes people!!
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) -
Ep. 5: Saying the Unsayable with Special Guest Anne Heffron
8 december 2020 · 32 min
OOOOH...y'all are in for such a treat because Anne is just that. A treat. Anne is an author, writing coach, and adoptee. Her memoir, "You Don't Look Adopted" is pure gold. It's heart-wrenching and funny and raw and life-changing. You should read it. Lees meer
But first listen to our little conversation today about the importance of figuring out how to say the unsayable. The thing is...whatever is unsayable is always THERE. We just need to find a way to say it. And you know what...you don't even have to say it with words.
You can read all the details about our course The Story Under the Story at robyngobbel.com/thestory
You can find more Anne at www.AnneHeffron.com
You can find more Anne AND Robyn at robyngobbel.com/dearadoptiveparents (free, hour-long webinar where Anne talks about how her parents could have shown up for her the way she needed)
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior… -
Ep. 4: Tracking Arousal- Not Behavior
4 december 2020 · 30 min
The key to true, long-lasting behavior change is actually to stop focusing on behaviors. Stop trying to change them. Stop the charts. Stop the behavior modification. Stop the rewards. Stop the punishments. Lees meer
Read that again. How does that feel? Like a relief? Like terror??
Both?
Staying focused on behaviors, rewards, consequences, charts, stickers….it’s all just so exhausting. It’s exhausting because it doesn’t really work and because it’s pulling us out of integrity with what’s true. I think all of us have a place inside of us- maybe realllllly buried under a culture of behaviorism- that knows we are really missing the mark when we focus on behaviors.
But, if we stop focusing on behaviors- what do we do instead??? Behavioral techniques offer a bit of safety to the enforcer. They are such clear guidelines, and we like that!!
If we shift our focus on tracking the energy and arousal that underlies the behaviors, we still get to have the safety and structure that a more behavioral approach offered, while also the relief of finally focusing on the real problem.
This episode introduces the concept of tracking arousal instead of behavior.
Read the original blog article and download the arousal tracking PDFs: https://robyngobbel.com/focus-on-arousal-not-behaviors-part-1/
Watch the original Facebook Live: https://robyngobbel.com/course/facebooklives/
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for t…
-
Ep. 3: No Behavior is Maladaptive
4 december 2020 · 27 min
There is no such thing as maladaptive. Lees meer
No. Behavior. Is. Maladaptive.
Sure, there are LOTS of behaviors that have pretty big negative consequences…for ourselves and others.
But the way the human mind is so brilliantly working all the time leaves me with an unwillingness to negotiate the truth that all behavior is adaptive.
This core, unwavering belief creates my personal and professional foundation. It's based on neuroscience- and I explain it in this episode!
Watch the original Facebook Live: Facebook LIVES
Read the original blog post: No Behavior is Maladaptive
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) -
Ep. 2: Boundaries with Connection
4 december 2020 · 29 min
Brain-based parenting with connection and coregulation doesn’t mean boundary-less parenting. In fact, if you are parenting a child who is a little delayed with regard to developing self-regulation, this type of parenting actually means MORE boundaries. Lees meer
But boundaries aren’t consequences or punishments.
Boundaries are the supports your child needs to be successful.
It’s a little like toddler proofing. Toddlers aren’t untrustworthy, misbehaving, or sneaky because they explored the stairs and then fell down. Toddlers are just doing their toddler thing with their toddler brain. It’s our job as the adults to provide the boundaries and co-regulation they need to support their developmental task (exploration) without getting hurt!
So we provide lots of supervision and baby-gates. And we support their safe exploration of the stairs- holding their hands as they go up and down, or sitting one step below them while they play.
If we remember a few important tenets of brain-based parenting:
Connection is a biological imperative
Behavior is an externalization of inner experience
Regulated, Connected, Kids who Feel Safe Behave Well
Then we can feel confident that when our kids are struggling (lying, stealing, manipulation, opposition, etc.) that they need more support.
Read my blog article about Boundaries with Connection here: Boundaries with Connection
Watch the original Facebook Live video on Boundaries with Connection: Facebook LIVES
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us i…
-
Ep. 1: Welcome to Parenting after Trauma with Robyn Gobbel
4 december 2020 · 9 min
Welcome!! Lees meer
Parenting after Trauma is the most spontaneous, least frills podcast on parenting children who have experienced trauma.
In November 2020, I started doing Facebook Lives so I could quickly and easily connect with parents struggling to raise children who have experienced trauma. Almost immediately I realized I could turn the audios from those Lives into podcast episodes! I know I would much rather listen to a podcast than watch a video- especially if I have to be online to watch it- and I figured that might be true for you, too.
This is a no-frills podcast- which means there is almost no editing. I did this intentionally so I could focus on getting you content as fast as possible- not on learning fancy software. You may hear me say something about "checking the comments" and that's because these episodes originally aired live on Facebook and I was putting resources in the comments. I'll do my best to put those resources into each episode's show notes!
Enjoy!
We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.
Go now to RobynGobbel.com/apply .
Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
InstagramOver on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)