Unbitten: A Journey Through the Twilight Saga
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95 afleveringen, van nieuw naar oud
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Ep 45 - Eclipse Ch 5: Hiddies, Widdies, and Ciddies
15 februari 2022 · 1 uur
In this episode, Em and Cam discuss chapter five of Eclipse, which includes some CRAZY new lore, a wild Sam x Emily origin story, and another Bella temper tantrum. Also, we answer patron AMAs, discuss the weird sexualization of female animals in animated movies, and talk about our old lady joints, despite both of us being in our 20s. Lees meer
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Ep 44 - Eclipse Ch 4: What that Vussy Do?
31 januari 2022 · 49 min
Covering chapter 4 of Eclipse this week, we spend more time making fun of Stephenie Meyer's overall lack of writing skill, from Bella's overly whiny 'worst day ever' to the really lame fridge magnet metaphor. Cam and Em share their cereal preferences and ask which cereal lasts longest in milk. We also make a request for Emmett and Rosalie fanfiction please and thank you. We also offer our expert relationship advice to anyone who needs it (dump him). Lees meer
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Ep 43 - Eclipse Ch 3: Edward's Hairball
17 januari 2022 · 1 uur
We are back after the holidays with Chapter 3 of Eclipse, where we talk about Jacob's height (again), Edward acting like a cat in more ways than one, and many other things ranging from serious to hysterical. Also, as always, minecraft, sims, and other nerd shit. Lees meer
Twitter: https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod
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Ep 42 - Eclipse Ch 2: Marble Statue Fetish
20 december 2021 · 56 min
Jumping into chapter 2 of Eclipse this week, we are right back to being mad at the men in Bella's life. Cam makes some predictions about Alice's secret prediction and Em offers alternatives to making out with Edward - perhaps a flagpole instead? Once again we question Vampire anatomy and struggle to imagine a rock hard flaccid dick. Have we mentioned this podcast is rated Explicit? Also redemption for Cam as Edward and Bella finally talk about those damn Jacksonville tickets. Lees meer
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Ep 41 - Eclipse Preface and Ch 1: Bella Deals With Man-Pain
6 december 2021 · 58 min
It feels like years since we started New Moon, but we are finally done and moving on to book 3: Eclipse! Join us as we reiterate Charlie's stupidity and Billy's love of gossip, discuss Jacob's strange epistolary choices, and shit on Edward for like the millionth time. Lees meer
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/UnbittenPod
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod
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Ep 40 - New Moon Movie: Daddy Sorry Daddy Sorry Ft. Goblet of Wine
22 november 2021 · 1 uur 21 min
After finishing the book at last we finally get to watch the movie for New Moon! Joining us for this special movie episode are Charlie and Hannah from Goblet of Wine (A drunken Harry Potter podcast). While thirsting for every daddy in this movie we also question Edward's waxing routine, judge the vampires' foundation, and discover (expose) Jasper's secret piss kink. Be prepared for some Taylor Lautner simping and an educational description of what 'soaking' is. Lees meer
If you enjoyed Charlie and Hannah be sure to check out Goblet of Wine podcast:
https://twitter.com/GobletOfWinePod
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Ep 39 - New Moon Ch 24 and Epilogue: Edward like, REALLY sucks
8 november 2021 · 1 uur 3 min
Oh my god!! We finally finished another book! Join us as we round out our reading of New Moon with, you guessed it, getting really annoyed with Edward and Jacob! Also, animal crossing news, our lives falling apart, and like 5 minutes of trying to remember where one movie quote came from. Lees meer
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/UnbittenPod
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod
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Ep. 38 - New Moon Ch 23: Call Your Friend a MILF
18 oktober 2021 · 1 uur 2 min
If you wanted us to yell about Edward for almost an entire episode then this is it! From so called apologies, to weird guilt tripping we are HERE to call out the bullshit. If Edward was a real person he would be the one making notes app twitter apologies left and right. We do some unpacking of Bella’s fear of turning 30 and Cam makes some predictions about the end of the book. Lees meer
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Ep 37 - New Moon Ch 22: Bella Does Cocaine
4 oktober 2021 · 54 min
Covering chapter 22 of New Moon this week which means talking about anything other than the book! Casting choices for the new Mario movie are questionable, Cam recommends an opera about a frat boy to everyone and we talk about the best way to get spiders out of the shower. We also solve the mystery of Aro's onion skin and talk about more confusing vampire biology. Also Halloween is coming soon! What costumes are you guys dressing up as? Lees meer
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Ep 36 - New Moon Ch 21: Vampires are like Onions
20 september 2021 · 48 min
We are done prerecording and are back to our usually scheduled nonsense! Join Em and Cam as we discuss our new living situations, dive into some fun Volturi lore, and contemplate whether or not Aro has layers like Shrek. Spoiler alert: methinks he does! Lees meer
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Ep. 35 - New Moon Ch. 20: Eddie is BACK
6 september 2021 · 57 min
Join us on episode 35 where we talk about some actual good media for about 5 minutes before remembering we are a Twilight podcast. Cam declares she will go back in time to prevent bad 2000's fashion, we criticize the Cullens' cars and question (again) Edward's stupid sparkle plan. With Edward back... it's return to simp city. Lees meer
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Ep. 34 - New Moon Ch 19: Sheeeeeesh
23 augustus 2021 · 1 uur 1 min
Because of contractual obligations we did have to do an episode about the worst chapter in this book, chapter 19 which is nothing but a series of flights and Bella being upset. In a surprising twist Cam actually does some research about the city of Volterra. We also question Edward's sense of drama because who actually thinks sparkles are scary?? Lees meer
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Ep 33 - New Moon Ch. 18: Bella IS Stinky
9 augustus 2021 · 56 min
In this episode of Unbitten we cover chapter 18 of New Moon and discuss Bella's constant need to apologize, how Jacob is a shitty friend and Stephenie Meyer's bad foreshadowing. If there are any conclusions to draw in this chapter it's that Edward has the audacity. Spoiler alert: they don't go to Jacksonville. Also aside from our usual wish for Bella to go to therapy we think she should probably get that fainting condition checked out because girl what is wrong with you! Lees meer
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Ep 32 - New Moon Ch 17: Team Bella Needs Therapy
26 juli 2021 · 1 uur 5 min
In this episode of Unbitten, we discuss chapter 17 of New Moon and approaching plot! Alice is here and we are so glad for it. We question how Alice's visions work, see that Jacob is a shitty friend and at last we get the scoop on what the Cullens have been up to since leaving Forks. Where is our dark academia college version of Twilight? Please! Lees meer
Note there is a trigger warning for discussions of suicide from 8:40-14:30.
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Ep 31 - New Moon Ch 16: Hot Take! Sucks to be Dead!
12 juli 2021 · 1 uur 8 min
This week, Em and Cam talk about literally anything other than New Moon. Okay, well, we do talk about New Moon. But there are lots of tangents, including but not limited to Monsters Inc, Fortnite, and a multimillion-dollar fur suit drycleaning service. But on the actual topic of the book, we discuss Bella's confusing thought processes and poor analysis of a famous Shakespeare play, as well as Jacob's growing toxic traits. This one is a wild one, but I think you're expecting that by now. Lees meer
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Ep 30 - New Moon Ch. 15: Dad Bod Werewolves
28 juni 2021 · 1 uur 10 min
In this spicy episode covering chapter 15 of New Moon we get into a deep discussion on how to improve werewolves, thoughts toxic relationships and also unpack Bella's cliff-diving desires. Once more we preach that everyone needs therapy! Content warning for discussing the topic of drowning as well as trigger warnings for discussion of glorification of death, self harm and suicidal ideation from 47:30-67:00. Lees meer
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Ep 29 - New Moon Ch. 14: Cam Galaxy Brains
14 juni 2021 · 1 uur 8 min
In this episode, Cam figures out the entire plot of the series. For real. Go listen, we're not even kidding.
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Ep 28 - New Moon Ch. 13: Man in Manual Wheelchair
31 mei 2021 · 1 uur 10 min
Cam and Em release their full unhinged energy in discussing chapter 13 where we spend more time talking about anything else but the book. Emily does some math (sorry!) and proves S. Meyer never thinks (again). We debate what we would do if our kid was a furry and also what it means to be critical of media. Lees meer
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Ep 27 - New Moon Ch 12: Bella Decides to Think
17 mei 2021 · 54 min
Welcome back! This week, both of our idiot protagonists decide to make attempts at intelligent thought, Bella's dreams get too OP, and Jacob has a strange but fitting kink. Also, Bella is a limp noodle and Sam is probably still t posing.
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Ep 26 - New Moon Ch. 11: New Man Same Problems
3 mei 2021 · 59 min
Join us in an (finally) exciting chapter with questionable cult activities, a confrontation in the woods, a man who hates that he's a monster - wait is this just Twilight again? Different man, same problems. Also Charlie is a good dad but once again ruins it by reminding everyone he is a cop. Lees meer
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Ep 25 - New Moon Ch 10: Plot, FINALLY!
19 april 2021 · 1 uur
Cam and Em are both a year older and a year dumber, and they are back to talk more about New Moon. In Chapter 10 we finally get some plot, run into a familiar but unfriendly face, and meet the mysterious giant bear(s). We also talk about mono, peppa pig, the monstrous feminine, and Jacob's wolf form being dummy thicc. Lees meer
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Ep 24 - New Moon Ch 9: Sweaty Swamp Hands
5 april 2021 · 1 uur 13 min
It's ARIES SEASON!!! Welcome back for a chapter filled with awkward encounters and secondhand embarrassment - that's right, it's chapter 9 of New Moon! Once again we find ourselves asking when will Mike stop as we tread the swampy grounds of this movie theatre scene. We chat about our own worst moments throwing up, officially convert to Team Jacob, and, of course: reminder to stream Montero (Call Me By Your Name) by Lil Nas X! Lees meer
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EP 23 - New Moon Ch 8: Sam Uley T-Posing in the Background
22 maart 2021 · 53 min
Once again we are asking for Bella to get some help. Chapter 8 takes us through a lesson on motorcycle parts, Cam simping for shirtless Jacob, and a 5 minute quest to figure out how a compass and grid pattern might work.
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Ep 22 - New Moon Ch 7: Straights on Thin Fucking Ice
8 maart 2021 · 1 uur
In episode 22 we cover Chapter 7 of New Moon: Repetition. There's a lot to unpack in this episode: primarily learning that Emily doesn't know how to make Lasagna, when god, WHEN will Mike stop, and secret culty werewolf lore maybe? We also briefly turn into a Maximum Ride podcast and learn the deep lore about what really made Cameron queer. Lees meer
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Ep 21 - New Moon Ch 6: Bella's Dump Truck Ass
22 februari 2021 · 53 min
Join us as we cover chapter 6 and delve into why we are now Team Jacob, Bella's depression and why Emily is so fragile she teared up three times in this chapter. Sometimes its just nice for people to have nice things in their life and we feel that way about this chapter. Lees meer
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Ep 20 - New Moon Ch 5: Billy is a Dance Mom
8 februari 2021 · 53 min
Somebody please get Bella some therapy!!! Or she can just be a bad bitch and get a motorcycle. Basically the same thing, right? Thank you to Jacob Black and Jacob Black only for being a likeable character and 6 foot 5.
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Ep 19 - New Moon Ch 4: The Return of the Filler
25 januari 2021 · 57 min
In which we somehow spend an hour talking about a 25 page chapter where almost nothing happens except for Bella being depressed and reckless. We sincerely apologizing for not making any 'waking up to ash and dust' jokes from the title of this chapter, and will try harder next time to correct similar errors. Lees meer
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Ep 18 - New Moon Ch 3: Real F*ckboi Hours
11 januari 2021 · 1 uur 6 min
Enjoy what is essentially an hour long rant about Edward Cullen being trash and MEN DON'T BE LIKE THIS! We might have shed a real actual emotional tear.
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Ep 17 - New Moon Chs. 1+2: Oh lore?
14 december 2020 · 1 uur 17 min
New book time!! Em's cat Fergus has many cameos, we discuss once again just how hot and good Carlisle and Alice are, and Cam continues to realize just how different real vampire lore is from Sims vampire lore. TW: In depth talk of suicide, timestamps 28:18-34:39. Lees meer
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Unbitten Episode 16: Twilight Movie Part 3
30 november 2020 · 51 min
The finale episode of Twilight! Baseball scene, the weird acrobatics of the ballet studio fight, and questionable 2000s fashion! Thanks again to our guest Lauren for sitting through 3 hours of recording with us <3
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Unbitten Episode 15: Twilight Movie Part 2
16 november 2020 · 52 min
Simp city 2: electric boogaloo aka Twilight movie pt. 2 with special guest Lauren!
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Unbitten Episode 14: Twilight Movie Part 1
3 november 2020 · 1 uur 16 min
Finally it is here! Part one of delving into the movie universe of Twilight and the epitome of Robert Pattinson simping. Joining us for these movie episodes is special guest, our friend, Lauren! We did the thing we promised. We played the Twilight drinking game while watching and recorded drunk.... You're welcome?? Lees meer
Also announcing our new patreon! https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod
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Unbitten Episode 13: Twilight Epilogue
19 oktober 2020 · 45 min
We cap off the Twilight book by talking about prom for half the episode, and then Cameron has a coughing fit. Don't worry, she lives! But will Bella live through a school dance? Find out in this episode of Unbitten.
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Unbitten Episode 12: Twilight Ch. 23 and 24
3 oktober 2020 · 1 uur 6 min
The end is near, chapters 23 and 24 with the good angst, heart monitor shenanigans and questions of Edward's sexual prowess.
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Unbitten Episode 11: Twilight Ch. 21 and 22
12 september 2020 · 1 uur 16 min
In chapters 21 and 22, we finally have real plot! It's a truly exciting time! Also, Warrior Cats, again.
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Unbitten Episode 10: Twilight Ch. 19 and 20
29 augustus 2020 · 1 uur 14 min
Join Cameron and Emily in such wonderings as: Can you ferment blood? Can bears turn into vampire bears? It's chapters 19 and 20 of Twilight!
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Unbitten Episode 9: Twilight Ch. 17 and 18
23 augustus 2020 · 1 uur 36 min
WE HAVE NEW MICROPHONES!!!! Oh, and also, sh*t hits the fan.
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Unbitten Episode 8: Twilight Ch. 15 and 16
15 augustus 2020 · 1 uur 17 min
Chapters 15 and 16 take us on a journey to the Cullen house. ....Wait how old is Daddy Carlisle?!
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Unbitten Episode 7: Twilight Ch. 13 and 14
9 augustus 2020 · 1 uur 16 min
Finally the meadow scene and sparkly boy! It's chapters 13 and 14 of Twilight. Join us in hotly debated Milk Discourse, the mechanics of Vampire sex, and is Edward choking Bella? It's Unbitten episode 7!
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Unbitten Episode 6: Twilight Ch. 11 and 12
1 augustus 2020 · 1 uur 16 min
Closet door drama, The 1997 film Gattaca and sexual tension, and more questionable chapter titles. Join Cameron and Emily on chapters 11 and 12 of Twilight!
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Unbitten Episode 5: Twilight Ch. 9 and 10
25 juli 2020 · 1 uur 14 min
This week we discuss chapters 9 and 10 of Twilight and discover who is the "can math gay" and who is the "can't math gay". One thing is for sure and that is S. Meyer can't math at all.
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Unbitten Episode 4: Twilight Ch. 7 and 8
18 juli 2020 · 1 uur 24 min
Join us as we talk about Chapters 7 and 8 of Twilight.
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Unbitten Episode 3: Twilight Ch. 5 and 6
11 juli 2020 · 59 min
Blood typing OMG and... Jacob is THAT young?
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Unbitten Episode 2: Twilight Ch. 3 and 4
2 juli 2020 · 43 min
We hit up chapters 3 and 4. We are snarky as usual. There are Warrior Cats references and a killer Snape impression. It's Unbitten Episode two!
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Unbitten Episode 1: Twilight Ch. 1 and 2
2 juli 2020 · 43 min
In this first episode of our new podcast, join Cameron (first time reader) and Emily (long time fan) in reading Twilight chapters 1 and 2.