How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

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1. Greg Wise - ‘Therapy Saved My Life. And My Marriage.’

   4 november 2026 · 52 min

   Afspelen
   You might know Greg Wise as swoonsome Willoughby in the 1995 Sense and Sensibility TV adaptation (where he met his future wife, Dame Emma Thompson, on set); or from his roles in Cranford, The Outcast, The Crown or The Buccaneers. But Wise’s career spans far beyond the world of film and TV. A passionate advocate for talking openly about grief, particularly among men, Greg is an ambassador for Marie Curie, Carers Trust and the Good Grief Trust, and a patron of End of Life Doula UK. His new book, Grief Talking, uses his own personal stories of loss to provide the reader with an emotional and practical map to exploring the most difficult human landscapes. Lees meer

   In this conversation, we discuss the depths of trauma and grief, how you have to be able to take rejection as an actor, his and Emma’s experience of IVF, and the unconventional way they built their family.

   IN THIS EPISODE

   00:00 Introduction

   03:07 Why He Wrote Grief Talking

   05:05 Masculinity And Mourning

   06:20 Trauma Versus Grief

   08:03 End Of Life Doula Work

   14:12 Rejection In Acting

   24:40 IVF And Secondary Infertility

   28:26 IVF Strain on Couples

   29:17 Failure Language in Fertility

   30:20 Dehumanising Medical Labels

   32:22 IVF as Grief and Absence

   33:48 Rebuilding Family and Therapy

   35:11 Unexpected Family with Tindy

   40:22 Gaia Acting and Resilience

   41:42 Strictly, Risk and Clare Tribute

   💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

   Men and women grieve in different ways: men are thinking grievers. Women (more generally speaking) are emotional grievers.

   Trauma needs to be looked at before the grief is handled.

   If you can’t take rejection, you shouldn’t be an actor.

   🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

   Greg’s book, Grief Talking, is available to pre-order now and is out on 5th November: www.panmacmillan.com/authors/greg-wise/grief-talking/9781035058297

   Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

   Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

   📚 WANT MORE?

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2. Hanif Kureishi - ‘I Write To Stay Alive’

   28 oktober 2026 · 50 min

   Afspelen
   Hanif Kureishi is one of Britain’s most celebrated writers. His debut screenplay, My Beautiful Laundrette, was nominated for an Academy Award, and he went on to write novels including The Buddha of Suburbia and Intimacy, as well as screenplays for Venus and The Mother. Lees meer

   But in 2022, Kureishi’s life changed irrevocably. A fall in his partner’s apartment left him paralysed and unable to use his hands. His extraordinary journey through the aftermath and rehabilitation became the subject of his 2024 memoir, Shattered. Now, in Are You With Me Now?, a collection of essays written with his son Carlo, he explores what it means to survive when the life you knew has fallen apart.

   In this episode, Hanif talks about the accident itself, subsequent years, his changing relationship with writing and his body… and why Elton John came to his wedding!

   IN THIS EPISODE

   00:00 Introduction

   03:53 Accident to Viral Blogs

   06:49 Work, Disability, Identity

   07:31 Conflict as Intimacy

   12:27 Failures at School

   19:32 Loss, Suicide, Wedding Twist

   24:27 Quitting Directing

   24:46 Writing The Buddha Of Suburbia

   26:17 Comedy From Pain

   27:02 Oscar Nominee Whirlwind

   29:19 Why Directing Failed

   31:56 Success And Jealousy

   34:34 Body Failing Bomb

   42:28 Love Dependence

   💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

   I was writing to keep myself alive as a person.

   I think boredom is really important.

   If someone becomes glamorous and successful, it f***s with your head.

   🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

   Hanif’s book Are You With Me Now? is out on 5th November: www.penguin.co.uk/books/481825/are-you-with-me-now-by-kureishi-hanif-kureishi-with-carlo/9780241831595

   Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

   Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

   📚 WANT MORE?

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3. Bill Bailey - ‘Rejection Made Me A Better Performer’

   21 oktober 2026 · 49 min

   Afspelen
   Bill Bailey is a comedian, musician, writer, actor, director and presenter, known for his brilliant live tours and panel appearances on shows including Never Mind the Buzzcocks and QI. Lees meer

   In this episode, Bill discusses being rejected from drama school, an Edinburgh Fringe show which flopped and the death of his best friend Sean Lock. Plus: the moment he decided to cut off his legendary hair (after it got stuck in some train doors).

   Now, Bill is back on the road with his new UK arena tour, Bill Bailey: Vaudevillian, culminating in a two-month residency at London’s Theatre Royal Haymarket.

   IN THIS EPISODE

   00:00 Introduction

   03:05 Live Shows vs Screens

   06:30 Love Letters and Marriage

   10:24 Drama School Rejection

   15:30 Music Teacher and Confidence

   19:49 Haircut and Next Failure

   22:51 Comeback Rocker Concept

   23:20 Bill Best Backstory

   24:28 Props Songs and Craft

   25:16 Great Reviews No Crowd

   25:46 One Person Audience Night

   28:06 Friendship and Grief

   34:22 Leaving Academia Behind

   41:51 Animals Curiosity and Wallace

   💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

   Being on stage in front of an audience - there's nothing quite like it. There isn't really anything that replicates that experience.

   You have to cherish every moment. Cherish those friendships that you have. Cultivate them. Cultivate relationships with everyone that you feel a bond with, because you never know when they're not gonna be around.

   🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

   Get tickets for Bill’s tour, Vaudevillean, here: www.billbailey.co.uk/live

   Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

   Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

   📚 WANT MORE?

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   Miranda Hart - swap.fm/l/oTScN30b80GflJtO4rgu

   💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

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   👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

   Instagram: @elizabday

   TikTok: @howtofailpod

   Podcast Instagram: …

4. Bella Mackie - ‘I Will Never “Fix” My Mental Health’

   19 oktober 2026 · 50 min

   Afspelen
   Bella Mackie began her career as a journalist, writing for publications including the Guardian, Vice and Vogue, before writing her bestselling debut, Jog On. The book explored how running helped her rebuild her life after the end of her first marriage triggered debilitating anxiety and panic attacks. Lees meer

   She followed it with How To Kill Your Family, a darkly comic novel about a young woman methodically murdering her wealthy relatives. It spent 47 weeks on the Sunday Times bestseller list and is now being adapted for Netflix, starring Anya Taylor-Joy. Two more novels followed, including her latest, Claws Out - another bestseller, this time taking aim at the absurdities of North London’s liberal elite.

   It’s a world Mackie knows well. She grew up in North London, the daughter of journalist and campaigner Lindsay Mackie and former Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger, and still lives there today with her husband, Radio 1 DJ Greg James.

   In this episode we cover her OCD, how she feels she hasn’t ‘fixed’ her mental health - and perhaps never will, her ‘failure’ to leave home and what it’s like to be married to someone painfully level-headed.

   This bonus episode is brought to you by @arlalactoFREE - all the taste, easier to digest.

   IN THIS EPISODE

   00:00 Intro

   02:51 True Crime Origins

   04:11 Rewriting Crime Tropes

   07:17 Funny Draft Fail

   10:37 Success Fuels Anxiety

   14:57 Living With OCD

   22:02 Childfree Choice Backlash

   30:41 Cozy Season Sponsor Break

   31:35 Failure to Launch Confession

   32:15 Living Near Mum and Dad

   33:48 Therapy Rejection and Detachment

   34:43 Anxiety and Codependency Roots

   37:31 Privilege Nepotism and Validation

   39:26 Tony Blair as the Adult

   44:01 Driving Cycling and Creative Life

   💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

   Anyone else’s mental health is an island you can’t get to.

   OCD is like Pokemon, you can catch them all.

   Greg [my husband] lies down on me when I have an intrusive thought and does a chicken dance on me to make me laugh.

   🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

   Bella’s…

5. Anthony Scaramucci - My Biggest Failure? Working For Donald Trump

   14 oktober 2026 · 1 uur 7 min

   Afspelen
   Scaramucci’s 11-day tenure as the White House Communications Chief under President Donald Trump’s first term ended in a blaze of recrimination. Scaramucci was advised by a PR consultant to disappear for five years. He refused - and reinvented his career. Lees meer

   Now, he is the co-host of the US version of The Rest is Politics podcast alongside British journalist Katty Kay.

   After Harvard Law School, he joined Goldman Sachs and built a career in finance, eventually founding the investment firm SkyBridge Capital.

   In this revealing conversation we discuss what working on Wall Street in the 80s was like, getting fired from Goldman Sachs, his failed first marriage, not being there for his son’s birth, getting fired from The White House and rebuilding his current marriage.

   His book, All the Wrong Moves, looks at how three catastrophic decisions and years of ‘sh*tshow politics’ led to Trump.

   IN THIS EPISODE:

   00:00 Introduction montage

   03:22 Learning optimism and pronoia

   05:02 Self forgiveness after failure

   06:40 Growing up and getting to Tufts

   11:58 Why he wrote the book

   14:03 Fired then rehired at Goldman

   25:23 Money mindset and marriage cracks

   30:48 Work Taxes Burnout

   31:26 Marriage Neglect Regrets

   34:07 Conflict Avoidance Trap

   34:55 Affair Self Forgiveness

   37:46 Fatherhood After Divorce

   40:44 Trump Ego Decision

   45:00 Firing from The Whitehouse

   57:03 Rebuilding and Looking Ahead

   💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

   When bad things happen, take a step back, and get into a channel that is the adult channel. Act in a rational way.

   I trained my brain to be optimistic.

   If you’re not careful, wealth can make you very depressed and lonely.

   Trump's bullying reminded me of my dad… but I was better prepared for it.

   🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

   Anthony’s book, All the Wrong Moves, is available to buy now: www.penguin.co.uk/books/476667/all-the-wrong-moves-by-scaramucci-anthony/9781847929235

   Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

   Elizabeth’s Substack: …

6. Luke Evans, Sarah Solemani & Elizabeth Day: The Making of The Party

   12 oktober 2026 · 38 min

   Afspelen
   Luke Evans and Sarah Solemani join Elizabeth to talk about the journey of Elizabeth’s 2017 novel The Party to its new five-part ITV adaptation. Lees meer

   Luke stars as the show’s protagonist, Martin Gilmour, and Sarah stars as his wife, Lucy… oh and she also brilliantly adapted the novel for screen.

   The trio discuss the making of this exciting new drama for TV, how Luke discovered the book and kick-started the process and what the show is about. They discuss themes including: sexuality, the class system in the UK, shame, women leading production, culture on sets in today’s world and friendship.

   This bonus episode is brought to you by @arlalactoFREE - all the taste, easier to digest.

   IN THIS EPISODE

   00:00 Introduction

   01:42 Luke Discovers the Novel

   02:51 Finding the Screenwriter

   04:45 Adapting Into Five Episodes

   07:13 What The Party Is About

   09:44 Casting Lucy and Onscreen Marriage

   13:04 Collaboration and Set Rewrites

   18:09 Women Leading the Production

   19:35 Set Culture and Final Day Speech

   21:15 Author Visits Set and Craft Details

   22:26 Friendship, Desire and Identity

   25:08 Class, Shame and Final Takeaways

   WANT MORE?

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   LINKS + MENTIONS:

   The Party starts Sunday 11th October 9pm on ITV1 and ITVX. The series airs for three consecutive nights: Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, concluding with the fourth and final episode the following Sunday 18th and Monday 19th. Or you can binge all five episodes on ITVX.

   Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

   Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

   Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

   Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

   Instagram: @elizabday

   TikTok: @howtofailpod

   Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

   Website: www.elizabethday.org

   Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR

   Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in to…

7. Bonnie Garmus - ‘Adoption Gave Us A Family’

   7 oktober 2026 · 59 min

   Afspelen
   Bonnie Garmus was 64 when her debut novel, Lessons in Chemistry, was published. It went on to sell more than eight million copies, spend almost two years on the New York Times bestseller list, was translated into more than 40 languages and become an eight-part Apple TV+ series. At its centre was Elizabeth Zott, a fiercely intelligent, forthright chemist turned 1950s TV cooking star. Lees meer

   Bonnie and I talk about the misogyny that inspired Lessons in Chemistry, her love of dogs, working through a stutter, adopting her two daughters from China and what it took to overcome years of rejection.

   Her new novel, Peck & Peck, is out in the UK on 13 October.

   IN THIS EPISODE:

   00:00 Intro

   03:41 Arts Versus Science

   05:44 Sexism Sparks Novel

   08:58 Greed And AI Warning

   12:19 Dogs Behind Characters

   16:30 Childhood Failures

   30:26 Living With A Stutter

   31:50 Letters And Workarounds

   32:53 Adoption Journey To China

   36:10 What Adoption Really Means

   37:23 Family Bonds And Fate

   39:17 Jeopardy Husband Spotlight

   40:10 98 Rejections And Resilience

   47:05 Finding An Agent And Writing Life

   💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

   I’ve had a lot of dogs in my life, and not a single one has disappointed me.

   I never look back on my career and think I have regrets.

   I had a therapist who was a stutterer… he gave me the courage to embrace it, and then I got better.

   🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

   Bonnie’s new novel Peck & Peck is available to pre-order now: www.waterstones.com/book/peck-and-peck/bonnie-garmus/9781786588975

   Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

   Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

   📚 WANT MORE?

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   💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

   Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

   Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

   👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

   Instagram: @elizabday

   TikTok: @howtofailpod

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8. Russell T Davies - On Dr Who, Grief and Gay Representation on TV

   30 september 2026 · 57 min

   Afspelen
   Russell T Davies has spent decades creating some of Britain’s most beloved and groundbreaking television. After studying English at Oxford, he went from writing for children’s programmes and Coronation Street to creating Queer As Folk in 1999 - a show that changed the conversation around gay representation on TV. Since then, he’s written hit after hit, from Bob & Rose and A Very English Scandal to Years and Years, It’s A Sin and his hugely successful revival of Doctor Who. He’s won four BAFTAs and was awarded an OBE in 2008. Lees meer

   In this episode we talk about where his obsession and passion for TV came from, how his exceptionally busy mind works, losing his husband to a brain tumour, his love of Dr Who and…finding love again.

   His new memoir, The Queerest of Folk, is out on 8th October.

   IN THIS EPISODE:

   00:00 Intro

   02:35 TV Obsession Origins

   03:24 Memoir and Andrew

   08:35 AIDS and Its a Sin

   10:36 Queer as Folk Shockwaves

   12:37 Failure to Drive

   16:45 Writing in Images

   28:05 Early Illustration Gigs

   28:54 Obsessed With Drawing

   30:20 Losing the Habit

   31:52 Comics and Story Beats

   33:54 Writing Geniuses Doctor Who

   37:13 Staying a Fan

   41:41 Legacy and Family Roots

   49:59 Aging Love and Goodbye

   💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

   When I dream I invent people who don’t exist.

   I’ve saved for decades, I saved for a rainy day, and then one day it rained.

   Please never get rid of the Tardis.

   🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

   Russell’s memoir, The Queerest Of Folk is available to buy now: uk.bookshop.org/p/books/the-queerest-of-folk-a-life-in-television-russell-t-davies/a290496f474a1f8c

   Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

   Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

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   💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

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9. Sir Paul Smith - ‘People In Fashion Are Insecure’

   23 september 2026 · 52 min

   Afspelen
   Sir Paul Smith is one of Britain’s most iconic fashion designers, renowned for his sharp tailoring and his sartorial flair. His clothes have an innate sense of mischief: brightly coloured linings, unexpected stripes and a determination never to take themselves too seriously. His devoted clients include Gary Oldman, Bill Nighy and Matty Healy, who wore a Paul Smith suit for his recent wedding. Lees meer

   Behind the stripes and the suits is a man with a simple life philosophy: stay humble, work hard, be kind. On this episode we talk about the cycling accident that set him on a path to fashion and how he’s kept his global business independent for 56 years. Plus, the secret to a long marriage, what tailoring teaches him about people’s insecurities - and why he wore a suit every day during the Covid lockdowns.

   IN THIS EPISODE:

   00:00 Intro

   03:40 Tailoring for Everyone

   06:48 The Pink Wall Story

   08:31 Stripes and Reinvention

   10:20 Turning 80

   11:33 Cycling Freedom and Family

   18:20 Crash That Changed Everything

   24:20 Pauline Sets The Standard

   25:19 Keeping Love And Work Balanced

   26:19 Step Parenting And Playfulness

   27:28 The Trap Of Comparison

   32:43 Brexit COVID And Staying Independent

   36:02 Choosing The Right Collaborations

   37:21 Believing Your Own Hype

   42:47 Creativity Legacy And Farewell

   💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

   Pauline [my wife] set the standard - it’s been very important for longevity.

   A successful relationship is about balance. Knowing when to talk, when to listen… and have both feet on the ground.

   The danger is losing your focus, and worrying too much about ‘them’.

   🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

   Sir Paul Smith’s Memoir ‘Threads’ is available to buy now: www.paulsmith.com/uk/threads-by-sir-paul-smith-special-edition-book

   Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

   Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

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10. Louise O’Neill - ‘Full Recovery Is Possible’

    16 september 2026 · 59 min

    Afspelen
    This episode contains references to and descriptions of eating disorders. Lees meer

    Louise O’Neill is a bestselling, award-winning Irish author whose fearless writing has helped shape modern feminism. Her fiction is taught on the Irish curriculum and Paul Mescal starred in a critically acclaimed stage adaptation of her work. Her second novel, Asking For It, catapulted her into the public eye in 2015.

    Now, with her eighth book, A Bigger Life, O’Neill turns that same unflinching gaze on herself. Her memoir follows the extraordinary dating experiment she embarked on in her late 30s after the end of a long-term relationship: dating a different man every night, across three cities - Paris, London and New York. What began as a challenge, inspired by something her father said, became an unexpected journey of self-discovery.

    In this episode we discuss topics covered in her memoir, A Bigger Life, including: finding hope after heartbreak, pressure on women, extraordinary dating experiences and recovering from a debilitating two-decade-long eating disorder.

    A Bigger Life is out this month.

    IN THIS EPISODE:

    00:00 Introduction

    03:24 Writing Her First Memoir

    04:58 Roots in West Cork

    08:21 Dating for a Bigger Life

    09:26 Choosing Hope After Heartbreak

    13:22 Marriage Expectations and Milestones

    16:57 Beauty Pressure and Aging Fears

    27:12 Fear of Vulnerability

    28:48 Aging and Shame

    30:34 Trusting Your Instincts

    33:35 The Millionaire Date

    36:40 Recovery After 17 Years

    42:57 Rewiring the Mind

    48:35 Good Girl Burnout

    52:07 Redefining Success

    💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

    I didn’t want the break-up to define me.

    Life falls apart around us, and then we have to rebuild. The trick is to keep your heart soft.

    If I’m setting the narrative, I want it to be hopeful .

    I had to rewire my brain - I had to become an entirely new person. Then it became second nature.

    🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

    Louise O’Neill’s memoir A Bigger Life is out now: https://harpercollins.co.uk/products/a-bigger-life-lou…

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