Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers
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Ep 292: Why Your Teenager Drives You Crazy
2 juni 2024 · 20 min
Todd Baratz, author of How To Love Somebody Without Losing Your Mind, explains how parents can navigate conflict in their relationships with their teens and partners, fostering true intimacy and realistic expectations. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Navigating relationships with teenagers can be incredibly challenging. There's often conflict, emotional rollercoasters, and moments when parents feel like they might lose their minds. But what if these hardships are an essential part of genuine intimacy? What if the idea that relationships should be free of conflict is setting us up for disappointment? Understanding these dynamics can transform the way we interact with our teens and partners, helping us build stronger, more connected relationships.
In today's episode, we delve into these questions and more with Todd Baratz, a renowned sex therapist and author of How To Love Somebody Without Losing Your Mind. Todd's expertise is grounded in both professional practice and personal experience, making his insights relatable and actionable for parents looking to improve their relationships.
Unrealistic Expectations and Their Origins
Todd points out that many of us grow up with unrealistic expectations about relationships, often rooted in fairytales and media. These perfectionistic ideals lead us to believe that true love should be effortless and devoid of conflict. When reality inevitably doesn't match up, we feel deeply disappointed. Todd explains how understanding and adjusting these expectations can make a significant difference in our relationships, whether with our partners or our teenagers.
The Importance of Open Conversations
Through conversations with his own parents, Todd learned that many of the relationship patterns he struggled with were inherited, rooted in intergenerational trauma. He emphasizes the importance of openly discussing family histories and personal stories with our teens, helping them understand that love and relationships are shaped by cultural and famili…
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Ep 291: Parenting a "Problem Child"
26 mei 2024 · 23 min
Kristina Kuzmic, author of I Can Fix This and Other Lies I Told Myself While Parenting My Struggling Child, shares personal insights on handling teen depression, substance use, and the importance of connection over control in parent-child relationships. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Parenting a struggling teen comes with challenges that can often feel insurmountable. Whether you're facing issues like lying, substance use, tantrums, or even violence and aggression, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and at a loss for solutions. Understanding how to foster an environment where your child feels seen and supported—despite the chaos—can make a significant difference in both your lives.
When Kristin Kuzmic's son began showing signs of severe depression and substance use during his teen years, she embarked on a journey to understand, support, and ultimately help him heal. Her story, detailed in her latest book, I Can Fix This and Other Lies I Told Myself While Parenting My Struggling Child, offers a wealth of knowledge for parents in similar situations.
Joining us on the show today, Kristina explains how her initial reluctance about sharing her journey turned into a powerful testimony of the strength and resilience required to parent a struggling child. With her son’s blessing and contribution, the book became a crucial resource for parents dealing with similar issues.
Identifying Signs of Struggle
Kristina noticed her son's change in behavior around age 12—what began as typical teenage mood swings escalated into serious signs of depression. From isolating behaviors to violent outbursts, Kristina's home became a battleground. Persistent therapy sessions seemed futile until the deeper issues at play were properly identified as clinical depression. Recognizing that these behaviors are symptoms of deeper issues, not simple teenage rebellion, was a vital step in addressing his struggles.
Connection Over Control
A theme that permeates Kristina’s approach is the necessity of connection ov…
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Ep 290: How to Be an Ally to Your LGBTQ Child
19 mei 2024 · 21 min
Heather Hester, author of Parenting with Pride, joins us to discuss the essential do's and don'ts for parents when their teenager comes out as LGBTQ, offering practical advice on supportive communication, unlearning biases, and addressing mental health and substance use concerns. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Every parent wishes to be a source of unwavering support and love for their children. However, when a teenager comes out as LGBTQ, many parents find themselves unprepared and anxious about how to respond appropriately. Initial reactions can be critical, as negative responses may have lasting repercussions on the teen's mental health and self-esteem.
Introducing Heather Hester
Our guest today is Heather Hester, founder of Chrysalis Mama and the host of the podcast Just Breathe. Heather is also the author of the newly released book, Parenting with Pride: Unlearn Bias and Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ+ Teen.
With years of experience providing guidance and education to parents and allies of LGBTQ young adults, Heather is here to help us understand how to navigate this sensitive yet profoundly important process of supporting our LGBTQ teens.
Why Initial Reactions Matter
Coming out is usually the culmination of a long and often painful period of internal conflict for teens. Heather explains that parents must recognize this journey and approach their teen's coming out with an emphatic and supportive response. Contrary to instinctive reactions like "Are you sure?", which can undermine a teen's confidence, parents should focus on affirmations such as "I love you," "Thank you for telling me," and "I've got you."
Heather shares that parents often inadvertently project their own fears and biases into the conversation, which can be damaging. Instead, she advises parents to work through their own uncertainties separately and to avoid placing these burdens on their child.
Understanding the Process and Stages of Coming Out
It's a common misconception that coming out is a …
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Ep 289: The Art of Detecting Teen B.S.
12 mei 2024 · 21 min
John Petrocelli, author of The Life Changing Science of Detecting Bullshit, explains how parents can identify when their teens are bullshitting and how to raise teens who critically evaluate the information they encounter. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
As teenagers grow and seek more independence, they can sometimes wield sophisticated tactics to avoid responsibility or twist the truth to their advantage. This behavior, often dubbed “bullshitting,” can make the challenging task of parenting even more complex. But how can parents distinguish between harmless exaggerations, outright lies, and simple bullshit?
In today’s fast-paced and information-saturated world, parents must not only navigate their teen's emerging independence but also teach them to identify and resist bullshit from other sources. Teens today are bombarded with information from social media, peers, and other influences, making it crucial for them to develop robust critical thinking skills. But how can we ensure that they are equipped to navigate this complex landscape effectively?
Enter John Petrocelli, author of The Life Changing Science of Detecting Bullshit. John is not just a researcher but an expert who has delved deeply into the concept of bullshit, differentiating it from lying and studying its impacts on individuals and society. With over a decade of empirical research under his belt, John’s work provides invaluable insights into how parents can better detect bullshit and teach their teens to be critical thinkers.
Understanding Bullshit
John introduces us to the nuances that differentiate bullshitting from lying. While both bullshitting and lying involve deception, the bullshitter often doesn't care about the truth—they aim to sound knowledgeable or impressive irrespective of the facts. This indifference towards the truth can have severe implications, influencing our beliefs, memories, and critical decisions.
John shares fascinating findings from his research, including how people are more prone to…
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Ep 288: The Balance of Power in Parent-Teen Relationships
5 mei 2024 · 25 min
Tiziana Casciaro, author of Power For All, joins us to explore the intricate power dynamics between parents and their teenage children, shedding light on effective strategies for sharing power, preventing power abuse, and empowering teens to make constructive choices in their lives and communities. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Raising teenagers presents a unique challenge in the realm of power dynamics. As children enter their teenage years, the once clear-cut power balance between parent and child begins to shift. Teens seek more independence, making decisions that parents may not always agree with, and sometimes even rebelling against parental authority. This shift can lead to frustration, misunderstandings, and power struggles within the family.
This week on Talking to Teens, we dive deep into the world of power dynamics between parents and teenagers with Tiziana Casciaro, a professor of organizational behavior at the University of Toronto and co-author of the insightful book *Power For All*. Her extensive research and work provide a profound understanding of how power functions and can be used positively within relationships, making her the perfect guide for parents navigating these turbulent waters.
The Essence of Power in Parent-Teen Relationships
Tiziana breaks down power as simply the ability to influence others' behavior and explains how this concept applies universally—from the teen wishing to gain more freedom to the parent hoping to guide their child towards certain behaviors. Power dynamics within the family evolve as teens grow, seeking validation and influence beyond their parents, which can dilute the parents' direct influence over them.
Empowering Versus Controlling
One key to maintaining a healthy relationship with your teenager is understanding the difference between exercising power over them and empowering them to make their own decisions. Tiziana discusses how sharing power and responsibility with teens can lead to mutual respect and better decision…
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Ep 287: The Science of Raising a Genius
28 april 2024 · 24 min
Craig Wright, author of The Hidden Habits of Genius, explores the patterns and habits behind history's greatest minds, discussing curiosity, risk-taking, and why genius doesn't always equate to happiness. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Raising a teenager comes with its unique set of challenges, and one of the most daunting tasks for any parent, teacher, or guardian is nurturing the inherent potential within each young adult. Whether it's about encouraging academic excellence, supporting extracurricular passions, or simply guiding them through the trials of adolescence, the aim is often the same—to help them excel and perhaps, uncover a touch of genius along the way.
But what really makes a genius? Is it an IQ score that soars off the charts, an unyielding talent in arts, or perhaps something deeper, something nestled within the folds of daily habits and choices? This week on Talking to Teens, we are thrilled to welcome Craig Wright, a Professor Emeritus from Yale and the esteemed author of The Hidden Habits of Genius: Beyond Talent, IQ, and Grit. Unlocking the Secrets of Greatness. With years of experience and research backed by travels across the globe to study history's most remarkable minds, Craig brings a new perspective on what truly cultivates greatness.
Craig offers a fascinating breakdown of what defines genius, rebuking the traditional confinements of IQ scores and talents as sole indicators of a masterful mind. Instead, he introduces us to the equation G = S * D (Genius = Significance * Duration), opening a dialogue on how significance and duration play into the legacies of known geniuses and how these metrics can apply to our understanding of achievement and brilliance.
Curiosity Over Scores
Craig emphasizes the paramount importance of curiosity and broad interests as foundational elements of genius. The quest for knowledge and the eagerness to engage deeply with various topics can often outweigh the benefits of scoring perfectly on standard tests or focusing sol…
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Ep 286: Embracing Self-Compassion in Parenting
21 april 2024 · 22 min
Kristin Neff, author of "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself," sheds light on the pivotal shift from cultivating self-esteem to fostering self-compassion in our children, especially through the tumultuous teenage years. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Parenting teenagers is an odyssey filled with highs and lows, during which we often focus on bolstering our kids' self-esteem and ensuring they excel. Yet, emerging research pivots our attention towards the essence of self-compassion, a force equally potent yet profoundly different.
We're joined by Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the realm of self-compassion. As the author of "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" and a mother to an autistic teenager, Kristin introduces us to self-compassion not just as a concept, but as a transformative practice. Through her own journey and extensive research, she's unearthed how self-compassion can be a beacon of hope and resilience for parents and teens alike.
The Self-Esteem Trap
Often, our parenting journey is underscored by a drive to boost our kids' self-esteem. However, an overemphasis on self-esteem can entangle our teens in a web where their worth is contingent on accomplishments, appearance, and external validation. Kristin sets the stage for a conversation on why shifting our focus from self-esteem to self-compassion can lead to healthier, more fulfilling adolescent years.
How do we cultivate an environment of self-compassion in the midst of teenage turmoil? Kristin delves into the practical applications of self-compassion, from understanding its components—mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness—to embracing exercises and strategies that foster an inner sense of unconditional worth.
The Ripple Effects of Self-Compassion
Drawing from her personal experience with her son, Kristin illustrates the profound impact self-compassion has on parenting. She discusses how embracing our own imperfections as parents and fostering an attitud…
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Ep 285: Breaking the Cycle of Teen Drama
7 april 2024 · 24 min
Louis Weinstock, author of "How the World is Making Our Children Mad and What to do About It," explores toxic communication patterns, the impact of societal pressures on teen mental health, and strategies for fostering emotional empowerment and resilience. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Today's teenagers are navigating an increasingly complex world. With the rise of social media, economic pressures, and an overabundance of information, it's no wonder that parents are seeing an uptick in mental health issues among their teens. From anxiety and depression to learned helplessness, the challenges are myriad, but understanding their root causes is the key to effective parenting in modern times.
Joining us on this episode is Louis Weinstock, a therapist, co-founder of the charity *A Part of Me*, and author of "How the World is Making Our Children Mad and What to do About It." Louis uses his extensive experience working with troubled kids and teens to discuss the deeper issues affecting our children's mental health and how parents can navigate these challenges to foster resilience, emotional empowerment, and healthier communication.
Understanding the Impact of Modern Society on Teens
Louis kicks off our conversation by delving into how society's ever-increasing demands and pressures have contributed to a rise in mental health issues among teenagers. He explains the importance of looking beyond labels and diagnoses to understand the root causes of our children's struggles. The first step toward change, Louis suggests, is for adults to do the inner work required to support our children through these tumultuous times.
The Power of Emotional Empowerment
One of the key themes in our talk with Louis is the concept of emotional empowerment versus resilience. He challenges the traditional notion that teens should simply "power through" adversity, advocating instead for a balance between acknowledging one's emotions and finding constructive ways to manage them. Louis offers insights into …
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Ep 284: Understanding Your Tween: The Journey of Growth
24 maart 2024 · 18 min
Tanith Carey, author of What's My Tween Thinking?, returns to discuss the distinct challenges and opportunities of parenting tweens, focusing on identity development, handling changing family dynamics, navigating peer influence, and fostering emotional awareness and introspection in 8 to 12-year-olds. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
As parents, witnessing our child morph from a carefree kid into a tween can sometimes feel like navigating uncharted waters. The tween years, traditionally seen as a quiet phase before the storm of the teenage years, are now understood to be a crucial period of identity development and emotional growth. It's a time when children start to question their place in the world, develop deeper peer relationships, and often begin to seek independence from their families.
This week on Talking to Teens, we’re joined by Tanith Carey, a renowned author and educator known for her insightful books on parenting, including the highly-praised What's My Tween Thinking?. Tanith offers her expertise to unravel the complex emotional landscape of tweens and provides practical advice for guiding them through this pivotal stage.
Identity Exploration and Peer Influence
The tween years are marked by a significant exploration of identity. Tanith explains that as children move through this phase, they start to compare themselves to their peers, which can lead to new insecurities and doubts. The establishment of more defined friendship groups also introduces tweens to the complexities of social hierarchies and conflicts. Tanith stresses the importance of preparing tweens for these experiences by discussing the broader picture, helping them understand the nature of social dynamics and encouraging self-reflection and emotional awareness.
Navigating Family Dynamics and Independence
As tweens seek more independence, family dynamics can shift dramatically. Tanith shares how parents can manage these changes, from the tween's desire for private space to their evolving way of relat…
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Ep 283: Soothe Anxiety with...Food?
17 maart 2024 · 18 min
Dr. Uma Naidoo, author of "This Is Your Brain on Food" and "Calm Your Brain with Food," discusses how dietary choices can significantly impact anxiety levels and overall mental wellness, highlighting the critical connections between gut health, inflammation, and the brain. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Raising teenagers is no easy feat, especially when dealing with the complexities of their mental health. In today's fast-paced and stress-filled world, an increasing number of teens are facing anxiety. While therapy and coping strategies are essential tools, there's an often overlooked component that could be contributing significantly to your teenager's anxiety: their diet.
Our guest today is Dr. Uma Naidoo, a renowned psychiatrist, nutrition specialist, and author. Dr. Naidoo has made groundbreaking strides in the field of nutritional psychiatry, showcasing the profound effect food has on our mental state, specifically anxiety. Through her work, she uncovers the intricate connections between what we eat, the health of our gut, and how our brain functions.
Understanding the Gut-Brain Connection
Dr. Naidoo takes us through the fascinating gut-brain axis, explaining how these two seemingly disconnected body parts communicate through neurotransmitters and hormones. Foods with high glycemic loads, artificial sweeteners, and certain fats can cause inflammation not only in our bodies but also in our brains, exacerbating anxiety and other mental health issues.
Nourishment for Mental Health
Transitioning to healthier eating habits can seem daunting, but Dr. Naidoo provides practical advice and easy-to-follow steps for gradually making these changes. Focusing on whole, unprocessed foods rich in fiber, omega-3 fatty acids, and magnesium can have a positive impact on mental well-being. She also warns against the overconsumption of caffeine and the importance of avoiding foods that can interfere with medications prescribed for mental health conditions like ADHD.
Nutritional Psychiatr…
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Ep 282: The Opportunity Gap - How Schools Perpetuate Inequity
10 maart 2024 · 22 min
Tiffany Jewell, author of Everything I Learned About Racism I Learned in School, joins us to expose the myriad ways racism is embedded in the education system. We discuss the opportunity gap, biased disciplinary practices, problematic tracking, predatory military recruitment, and more - and what teens and parents can do about it. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Today's teens are facing unprecedented challenges - from pandemic recovery to economic uncertainty to navigating an increasingly complex digital world. But one of the most pervasive and overlooked issues affecting young people is the systemic racism baked into the very institutions meant to uplift and empower them - our schools.
Students of color are more than twice as likely to be suspended or expelled. They're underrepresented in advanced classes and overrepresented in special education programs. Their schools are more heavily policed and their lockers more frequently searched. The curriculum largely sidelines their histories and the works of authors who look like them.
How can we as parents, educators and advocates ensure that the school system is providing an equitable education and environment for all students? To unpack this crucial question, we're joined by Tiffany Jewell, anti-bias anti-racist educator and author of the new book Everything I Learned About Racism I Learned in School.
In our conversation, Tiffany sheds light on the often subtle ways racism manifests in schools, and provides actionable guidance for teens and parents to question the status quo and advocate for change.
The Opportunity Gap
Rather than an "achievement gap," Tiffany argues what we're really seeing is an opportunity gap. Schools serving predominantly students of color are chronically under-resourced, understaffed, and overcrowded. Low expectations and biased perceptions from teachers limit students' potential. The result is a self-perpetuating cycle of inequity.
Tiffany explains how parents can reframe the conversation around student…
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Ep 281: Empowering Teen Girls
3 maart 2024 · 24 min
Chelsey Goodan, author of Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls, shares invaluable insights into empowering teenage girls through listening, validating their emotions, and encouraging a broader sense of self beyond societal expectations, while also addressing body image, feminism, and the struggles teens face today. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Raising teenage girls often feels like navigating a minefield of societal pressures, emotional upheaval, and misunderstood conversations. Parents strive to empower their daughters but find themselves grappling with how to breach topics on body image, confidence, feminism, and independence without exacerbating the situation. Today, more than ever, teenage girls are facing unprecedented challenges, from the pressures of social media to confronting traditional gender roles, leaving parents questioning how they can support their daughters through these tumultuous years.
Our esteemed guest, Chelsey Goodan, brings a wealth of experience and insights to this conversation. With 17 years under her belt as an academic tutor and mentor for teenage girls, Chelsey has also lent her expertise as the mentorship director of the non-profit DemocraShe and the founder of the Activist Cartel. Her book, *Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls*, unveils the untapped potential and profound insights of teenage girls, urging us to listen more and to foster meaningful conversations that validate and empower.
The Power of Validation and Listening
Chelsey emphasizes the importance of allowing teenage girls to express their feelings without hurriedly offering solutions or dismissing their emotions. By simply validating their experiences and emotions, we can help them process their feelings healthily, building a foundation of trust and open communication. Chelsey provides practical insights into "holding space" for these conversations, demonstrating how we can encourage girls to find their solutions and gain confidence in their dec…
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Ep 280: The Surprising Power of Hanging Out
25 februari 2024 · 18 min
Sheila Liming, author of Hanging Out: The Radical Power of Killing Time, explores the underestimated value of unstructured social time for teens, discussing why it's essential for developing negotiation skills, setting boundaries, and fostering creativity. Lees meer
Full Show Notes:
In today's fast-paced world, parents often worry about their teenagers' productivity and safety. The idea of teens "just hanging out" can induce anxiety, conjuring images of wasted time or potential mischief. Yet, these unstructured moments play a critical role in adolescents' development, offering unique opportunities for learning and growth unattainable in more structured settings.
Our guest, Sheila Liming, brings a fresh perspective on the art of hanging out. An accomplished teacher, essayist, and author, Sheila has extensively explored the complex dynamics of social interactions and their impact on individual development. Her book, Hanging Out: The Radical Power of Killing Time, challenges prevailing notions of productivity, suggesting that these seemingly idle moments are foundational to shaping character and interpersonal skills.
The Value of Unstructured Time
Sheila argues that hanging out offers teens essential lessons in negotiation, boundary setting, and improvisation. Away from adult supervision and structured activities, teens learn to navigate social dynamics, make collective decisions, and, crucially, understand their own limits. This episode delves into why fostering these skills is crucial for their transition into adulthood.
Overcoming the Stigma of Idle Time
The common view of idle time as inherently unproductive overlooks its potential to strengthen relationships and community bonds. Sheila and host Andy Earle discuss how parents can reframe their understanding of what it means for teens to spend time together without a set agenda. They touch on the historical context of hanging out and how digital interactions compare with face-to-face gatherings.
Embracing Risk and Fl…
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Ep 279: "What Were You Thinking?" - Inside the Teenage Brain
18 februari 2024 · 21 min
John Coleman, author of The Psychology of the Teenage Brain, joins us to explain why the biology of the adolescent brain leads to risk taking and emotional ups and downs, and how parents can provide support during this temporary period of development. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
The teenage years can feel like an emotional rollercoaster for parents and kids alike. Why does your once sweet child suddenly start acting out and making baffling decisions? What drives them to take risks, rebel against authority figures, and make choices that seem completely irrational?
In this week’s episode of Talking to Teens, we’re getting to the root of teenage psychology and behavior with an expert guide. We’re joined by Dr. John Coleman, a clinical psychologist who has spent decades researching adolescent development. He’s the founder of a research center focused on teens and their families, and is the author of the book The Psychology of the Teenage Brain.
John explains that the ups and downs of the adolescent years can be explained by major changes happening in the biology of the teenage brain. As Dr. Coleman tells us, the teenage brain actually undergoes its biggest developmental shift since infancy, which shapes teen behavior in profound ways parents often don’t realize.
The Teenage Brain: Pruning, Hormones and Development
As John explains, there are two major biological processes unfolding in the adolescent brain: pruning and hormonal changes.
First, he describes the proliferation of gray matter that happens in late childhood. Gray matter contains neuron cells, creating lots of connections in the brain. But in the teen years, the brain eliminates unused neural connections through a process called pruning. This effectively “shrinks” the brain, reorganizing it to become more efficient. However, this leads teens to feel uncertain and confused.
At the same time, John explains that hormone levels are fluctuating more intensely during adolescence than any other life stage. The hormones …
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Ep 278: The New Faces of Teen Addiction
11 februari 2024 · 26 min
David Magee, author of Things Have Changed, joins us to explain today's teen addiction crisis involving social media, potent synthetic drugs and vulnerable mental health. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Teen substance use has drastically changed in recent years. With skyrocketing rates of anxiety, depression and addiction, today’s parents are facing new and confusing challenges when trying to help their kids. We used to assume teens mainly struggled with peer pressure around drinking or smoking cigarettes. Now, teens face a host of new pressures tied to social media, a lack of sleep, and easy access to dangerously potent substances.
To help parents understand what’s really happening and how we can better communicate with struggling teens, we spoke with David Magee, author of Things Have Changed: What Every Parent and Educator Should Know About the Student Mental Health and Substance Misuse Crisis.
After losing his son William to an accidental overdose in college, David became an advocate for better understanding teen addiction. He now speaks nationwide to students and parents, and started the William McGee Institute for Student Well Being at Ole Miss.
It’s Not The Same Substances
Today’s teens aren’t using their parent’s drugs. While past generations struggled with alcohol, cigarettes or weaker strains of marijuana, today’s kids are taking synthetic drugs, often laced with fentanyl, that are exponentially more potent and dangerous, David explains.
He describes a current epidemic of fake Adderall pills being sold to high schoolers and college students. The counterfeit pills are never actual Adderall, but instead made of unknown substances designed to be addictive. Almost all contain fentanyl, says David. Kids think they’re buying a familiar drug, but it’s actually much more treacherous.
This is just one example of how substances have changed. David explains today’s marijuana can have THC levels of 70-90%, compared to just 4-8% in the 1990s. He says schools are shocked when …
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Ep 277: Understanding Our Kids' Online World
4 februari 2024 · 24 min
Michael Rich, author of The Mediatrician’s Guide, joins us to explain why we must move beyond fear of “screen time” to have more nuanced conversations with teens about finding balance, meaning and ethics in their digital lives. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Teens today have never known a world without smartphones, social media, and round-the-clock internet access. As digital devices become more and more ingrained into every aspect of their lives, it's only natural for parents to worry about the impact all this technology might have.
We often hear panicked stories about social media causing depression or video game addiction destroying kids' attention spans. It makes us want to snatch the screens out of teens' hands completely! But is going cold turkey really the best approach?
To help parents navigate the digital age, we're talking to Dr. Michael Rich, an expert on kids and media. Dr. Rich is an associate professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School and the founder and director of the Clinic for Interactive Media and Internet Disorders at Boston Children’s Hospital.
He's also the author of a new book called The Mediatrician’s Guide: A Joyful Approach to Raising Healthy, Smart, Kind Kids in a Screen Saturated World. As both a pediatrician and a former filmmaker, Dr. Rich has a unique perspective on why we should move past fear-based thinking when it comes to kids and technology.
Rethinking "Screen Time"
Trying to simply limit screen time is an outdated way of thinking, says Dr. Rich. Screens are so embedded into every part of life that trying to quantify daily use is irrelevant. Instead of counting minutes spent staring at a device, Dr. Rich encourages intentionality. This means being mindful, balanced and present in how we interact with technology.
Dr. Rich coins these practices the “killer B’s.” Being mindful means understanding how device use displaces other activities, while being balanced means taking regular screen breaks. Most importantly, being present while …
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Ep 276: Your Teen's Bullsh*t Brain
28 januari 2024 · 18 min
Lance Burdett, author of Dark Side of the Brain, explains why teens generate unhelpful thoughts and how we can reframe anxious thinking by getting comfortable with discomfort. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Raising teenagers can feel like navigating an emotional minefield blindfolded. Their moods swing rapidly from joyful to gloomy, their friendships feel fleeting, and their interests change every five minutes. Meanwhile, the pressure to get good grades, gain college acceptance and determine their entire future weighs heavily on their shoulders.
It’s no wonder teens get overwhelmed by this cocktail of hormones, peer pressure and looming adulthood. Their brains are firing on all cylinders, trying desperately to make sense of it all. Often, this neural chaos manifests as worry, anxiety, negative thought patterns and even depression.
So how can we help teens move through this rocky passage of life? How can we get them to open up about their mental struggles instead of shutting down? Most importantly, how can we empower them to reframe unhelpful thoughts and take control of their own wellbeing?
To gain some perspective, we’re speaking with Lance Burdett, a former police crisis negotiator turned adolescent mental health expert. Lance has worked extensively with teens and parents to help them understand the “Dark Side of the Brain” – the automatic negative thought patterns that often arise during times of stress.
In his book Dark Side of the Brain and on today’s episode, Lance is explaining the science behind our brain’s threat detection system that generates needless worry. He’s also revealing why it’s okay for teens to admit they’re not okay – as long as they ask for help afterward. We discuss how parents can model self-care, help teens reframe anxious thoughts and teach kids to get comfortable with discomfort.
Why Our Brains Make Sh*t Up
The human brain developed mainly to keep our ancestors alive on the African savanna over two million years ago. This means our brains are w…
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Ep. 275: Empowering Teens to Stay Alcohol-Free
21 januari 2024 · 23 min
Dustin Dunbar, author of You’re Doing Great and Other Lies Alcohol Told Me, joins us to reveal the false messaging alcohol feeds teens about itself and discusses how parents can model alcohol-free lives to intrinsically give kids the skills to resist drinking culture. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Teenage years come with intense new social pressures – the urge to fit in, make friends, and figure out who you are can feel overwhelming. In the midst of this tumultuous period, teens are confronted with the prevalence of underage drinking all around them. Their peers are doing it, cool kids on social media make it look fun and exciting, and it seems like the “normal” thing to do.
As parents, we want to protect our kids not just from the dangers of alcohol itself, but from falling for the many myths alcohol sells – that it’ll make you happier, more fun, more liked and more confident. The reality is, teens need tools and support to handle their insecurities, anxieties and difficult emotions in healthy, constructive ways.
This week, we’re talking about how we can empower teenagers to develop self-awareness and stay alcohol-free amidst intense social pressures. We’re joined by Dustin Dunbar, founder of The Alcohol-Free Revolution and author of the book “You’re Doing Great (And Other Lies Alcohol Told Me)”.
Dustin grew up surrounded by family members struggling with alcohol addiction. After overcoming his own battle with alcohol, Dustin has devoted himself to smashing the myths and lies alcohol tells young people. He’s here to reveal the tactics Big Alcohol uses to target teens, and explain why drinking culture is declining amongst Gen Z.
Why Teens Are Drinking Less
Despite the messaging bombarding them every day, today’s teenagers are actually drinking less than past generations. Dustin explains how teens are seeing through the deception inherent in alcohol advertising and social norms. More teens are prioritizing their health and wellbeing over fleeting social acceptance.
Dustin…
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Ep 274: Escaping the Villain Role
14 januari 2024 · 25 min
Justin Lee, author of Talking Across the Divide, joins us to explain how parents can have more productive disagreements with teens by overcoming the ego protection instinct and using storytelling to find common ground. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Parenting a teenager often feels like an ideological battleground. Their values, interests and worldviews can seem completely foreign to our own, causing rifts in our relationship almost daily. Navigating these choppy waters requires strategy and finesse so that we don’t widen the gap even further.
This week, we’re learning how to bridge divides from someone who has made connections his life’s work. We’re joined by Justin Lee, author of the new book Talking Across the Divide: How to Communicate with People You Disagree With and Maybe Even Change the World.
Justin has spent over 20 years facilitating thoughtful dialogue between groups that typically don’t see eye to eye. As the founder of the world’s largest LGBTQ Christian advocacy organization, Justin has firsthand experience bringing together people of divergent backgrounds. Now, he’s sharing his tried and tested methods for overcoming conflicts by focusing on shared interests and storytelling.
Even when parents and teens sit on what feel like opposite sides of the ideological spectrum, we likely have more in common than we realize. By approaching rifts strategically instead of confrontationally, we can narrow divides and start effecting real change.
The Ego Protection Instinct
When tensions run high, our first instinct is often to double down on our position. After all, no one wants to look like the “bad guy” or feel embarrassed when realizing they’re wrong. This ego protection instinct kicks in, causing both parties to dig their heels in further in order to save face.
Justin explains that the key to working through this instinct is to approach the conversation calmly and strategically. Making teens defensive will only cause them to reject our perspective entirely. By liste…
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Ep 273: Lowering the Drama in Big Family Choices
7 januari 2024 · 21 min
Janice Fraser, author of Farther, Faster, and Far Less Drama, joins us to explain how families can have productive debates using decision-making frameworks that increase understanding between parents and teens. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Big family decisions often come loaded with drama. Choosing a high school, making plans for college, or deciding on a family vacation can easily erupt into endless debates. Teens plead their case while parents grow frustrated - and no one feels heard. So how can families have productive talks that lead to real decisions instead of arguments?
This week we’re learning how better family decision-making can increase understanding and reduce drama at home. We’re joined by Janice Fraser, author of the new book Farther, Faster, and Far Less Drama: Make Better Decisions By Working Together.
As an executive coach and startup advisor focused on group decision-making, Janice has delivered workshops and coached teams around the world. She’s here to teach us how we can facilitate productive family meetings by reframing the way we look at big decisions.
Why Family Drama Builds
During adolescence, teens develop their own perspectives - but parents don’t always make space to hear them. Without a framework for discussion, family debates can spiral as power struggles emerge. Parents may value efficiency and feel that their experience gives them authority, while teens want to feel autonomy and self-direction.
To bridge this gap, Janice suggests focusing conversations around understanding rather than winning arguments. She explains that the real root of family drama lies in a values conflict, one that thoughtful discussion and compromise can usually resolve.
Outcomes Over Outputs
A key source of tension, Janice reveals, comes from parents and teens having different definitions of success. We often judge our kids by their outputs - their grades, achievements, sports records. But what teens really care about is meaningful outcomes that equip them for adul…
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Ep 272: Helping Teens Discuss Anxiety
31 december 2023 · 20 min
Cai Graham, author of Fearless and Free, joins us to offer practical strategies for helping teens open up about their anxiety, break through communication barriers, and understand the science of their emotions, guiding them from silent struggles to active coping. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Navigating the turbulent waters of teenage anxiety can often feel like a daunting task for parents. Teenagers, caught in the storm of hormonal changes and social pressures, might close off, leaving us struggling to reach them. When they do grapple with anxiety, many teens lack the vocabulary or the comfort level to express what's happening inside them, and this silence can create a divide between them and the support they need. On the other hand, parents may feel helpless or at a loss for the right words when they notice their teen's distress. But there's hope—and it begins with understanding, communication, and the tools to change the narrative around anxiety.
Enter our guest, Cai Graham, a parenting and teen coach, speaker, podcaster, and the insightful author behind the workbook "Fearless and Free - A Step by Step Blueprint to Conquer Anxiety." Cai brings to light the nuances of teenage anxiety from both parental and adolescent perspectives, delivering frameworks and actionable tactics for starting those necessary conversations.
Understanding Anxiety's Hold on Teens
Cai dives deep into the heart of anxiety, explaining the biology behind it, and destigmatizing the experience for both teens and their parents. She dismantles the shame that can often shroud feelings of anxiety, unpacking why teens might feel a troubling sense of isolation when confronting their worries. By reframing these emotions as natural, Cai enables parents to foster an environment where teens can approach their apprehension without fear of judgment.
Communication Tools for Tough Talks
Cai introduces the 'three questions'—a game-changing tool for parents to get teens talking without overwhelming them. This exerci…
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Ep 271: Navigating the Teen Loneliness Epidemic
24 december 2023 · 23 min
Simone Heng, author of "Let's Talk About Loneliness," joins us to explain why loneliness is reaching epidemic levels among teens, how it rewires the teenage brain, and what steps we can take as parents to help our kids reset and relate. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Loneliness is reaching epidemic levels among today's teenagers. Studies show teens are lonelier than any other generation, with 10 out of 11 feelings of loneliness. As kids withdraw socially, they get caught in a negative feedback loop where loneliness leads to more loneliness.
How can we help pull teens out of this dangerous downward spiral? How can we raise kids equipped for meaningful human connections when devices and social media threaten to replace in-person relating?
This week we’re exploring the teenage loneliness crisis, why it’s happening, and what we can do about it. We’re joined by Simone Heng, author of the new book “Let’s Talk About Loneliness.”
Simone is a speaker and former broadcaster focused on human connection. She’s here to explain why loneliness can be so devastating to the developing teenage brain, how teens end up self-isolating, and what small steps we can take to foster more connectivity at home and beyond.
Why Loneliness Rewires the Teenage Brain
Loneliness isn’t just an emotional experience – it changes the actual structure and functioning of the brain, explains Simone. When we don’t get enough in-person interaction, our brains downgrade the areas meant for processing social cues and relating to others.
Simone describes how chronic stress from loneliness keeps our body in fight-or-flight mode, releasing excess adrenaline and cortisol. This is meant to motivate us to go out and connect. But instead, lonely teens withdraw even further, caught in a vicious cycle.
The overloaded stress response starts to dampen teen’s immune systems, reduce cognition, and make them more prone to disorders later on. At a time when kids need to be developing social skills, loneliness causes their abiliti…
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Ep 270: Parenting Beyond Social Media
17 december 2023 · 18 min
CJ Casciotta, author of The Forgotten Art of Being Ordinary, joins us to discuss parenting beyond social media and finding real community. We talk about how to guide teens to separate online fiction from truth, why ordinary existence is profoundly meaningful, and how to foster raw, personal connection. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
In today's social media saturated world, it can feel impossible to raise teens without the influence of the metaverse. Kids are constantly comparing themselves to unrealistic standards set by influencers and celebrities online. The temptation for teens to create a sort of fictional version of themselves for social media is huge.
So how do we parent teens beyond the vortex of social platforms? How can we model authenticity and real human connection for kids distracted by the digital realm?
To help make sense of it all, we spoke with CJ Casciotta, author of The Forgotten Art of Being Ordinary: A Human Manifesto in the Age of the Metaverse. As a media professional himself, CJ has an inside look at the social technology teens are using. But as a parent, he's concerned about the way online personas are replacing real identities.
In our conversation with CJ, we discussed moving beyond the virtual world to find meaning in ordinary human existence. We also talked about the importance of modeling authentic offline experiences for teens.
Escaping the Comparison Trap
Social platforms tempt us to create the best possible versions of ourselves to display to others. But as CJ explains, teens feel pressure to make their lives seem extraordinary in the process. They often feel inadequate when comparing their realities to the fake realities shown by influencers online.
CJ stressed that parents need to clarify the line between truth and fiction for kids. We should have open conversations about the fact that what teens see online is often more acting than real life. As parents, we can model embracing ordinary existence for teens, showing them that a normal life …
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Ep 269: Are You a Consistent Parent?
10 december 2023 · 28 min
Sheri Glucoft Wong, author of Raising Kids, shares the importance of being a consistent parent, even when raising teens feels like a complicated maze. As a therapist, Sheri has a wealth of insight on how to effectively and consistently communicate with our kids. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
As parents, we all have those moments when communicating with our teen feels easy, and other times when no matter what we say, it leads to conflict. Why is that? What makes the difference between feeling effective vs ineffective?
This week we’re exploring that idea with our guest Sheri Glucoft Wong, a nationally recognized family therapist and author of Raising Kids: Your Essential Guide to Everyday Parenting. Sheri introduces the concept of being “on your spot” as a parent – when you feel aligned in your head, heart, and gut about an issue, communicate it clearly to your teen, and they respond accordingly without a power struggle.
What does it mean to be “on your spot” and why does it create cooperation not conflict? How can we get “off our spot” and start grasping for leverage through threats and consequences? Sheri explains why threats often backfire and how a simple “tweak” using “when/then” language instead of “if/then” can turn things around.
The Power of Being “On Your Spot”
Being on your spot as a parent means you feel clear and aligned internally about an issue, so you can take a firm yet kind stance with your teen. Sheri shares how parents have no trouble insisting kids wear seatbelts in the car – they never threaten or bribe, they just know it’s non-negotiable. But with other issues, like manners or chore completion, they struggle because they’re not fully on their spot.
In our interview, Sheri describes how being on your spot means your head, heart, and gut all align – you intellectually know what your teen needs, you care enough to want that for them, and your instincts tell you it’s the right thing. When all three are lined up, you can stand firm calmly and prevail witho…
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Ep 268: How to Convince Stubborn Teens
3 december 2023 · 25 min
Michael McQueen, author of MindStuck, dives into the science of persuading stubborn teenagers, and reveals why the tactics parents typically use to influence our kids simply don't work. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Trying to convince a stubborn teenager to see things your way can feel impossible at times. They seem completely stuck in their perspectives, unwilling to listen to reason or logic. So how do we get through when teen minds seem closed off?
According to our guest Michael McQueen, the root of the issue lies in outdated persuasion tactics. When trying to sway teens, most parents rely on giving information, evidence and rational arguments. But as Michael explains, this only taps into one small part of the brain–the rational, thinking prefrontal cortex.
The majority of our decisions and viewpoints are actually shaped by a more impulsive, instinctual part of the brain. For teens, who are still developing cognitively, this portion of the brain wields even more influence. So if we want to change a teen’s mind, we have to learn what truly motivates it.
The Teenage Brain
In his book “Mind Stuck,” Michael refers to the two processing centers of the brain as the “inquiring mind” and the “instinctive mind.” The inquiring mind takes in information and analyzes it logically before coming to conclusions. But for most people, only around 5-10% of decisions happen here.
The instinctive mind is much faster, making snap judgments based on emotions, biases and self-preservation. This is the mind that judges whether someone is in our “tribe,” and causes us to have gut reactions. For teens with underdeveloped prefrontal cortexes, nearly all decisions happen via the instinctive mind.
So when parents offer rational arguments to change teens’ behavior, teens brush them off–because facts and data barely penetrate their instinctive way of thinking. Actually, pushing logic often backfires, causing teens to dig their heels in defensively.
Instead, Michael suggests appealing to the instin…
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Ep 267: Neurodivergent Teens and Communication
26 november 2023 · 27 min
Chris Martin, author of May Tomorrow Be Awake, speaks on the concept of neurodiversity, and how parents can encourage teenagers to be their unique selves, rather than trying to pass as "normal." Lees meer
Full Show Notes
We all want our kids to feel “normal”, to fit in with their peers and the culture around them. But what if normal isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? What if we’ve defined “normal” too narrowly, and left a lot of beautiful minds out of the picture?
Our guest today, Chris Martin, is encouraging us to take a closer look at the concept of neurotypicality. As a poet and advocate who has worked with autistic writers for over 20 years, Chris has come to see neurodivergence as a creative superpower rather than a deficit.
So what does it mean to be “neurodivergent”? Why is neurodiversity so poorly understood? And how we can nurture the neurodiverse minds all around us--both in our kids and in ourselves?
Introducing Chris Martin
To explore those questions, we’re speaking with Chris Martin, poet and Executive Director of UnRestricted Interest, an arts organization for neurodivergent writers. Chris is himself neurodivergent, with ADHD.
In his book “May Tomorrow Be Awake”, Chris details his experiences working with nonspeaking autistic poets. He shares their incredible insights while reframing common misconceptions about autism--like the notion that autistic people “lack empathy.”
Drawing on his background, we’ll be discussing:
How autism has unique creative strengths
Why all kids start out neurodivergent
The high cost of “masking” neurodivergence
How to nurture neurodiversity in teens
Autism’s Upsides
Autism comes with plenty of challenges, but also some incredible strengths...if we choose to see them. As Chris explains, many autistic traits have a positive flipside when reframed.
What’s seen as a “restricted interest” can also be viewed as a passionate devotion to a subject, while sensory sensitivity connects autistic people to the environment in profound …
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Ep 266: Is Social Media Making Our Teens Angry?
19 november 2023 · 28 min
Tobias Rose-Stockwell, author of Outrage Machine, clues us in to how social media platforms manipulate emotions to keep us scrolling and riles us up. We talk about how the internet influences our beliefs and the pursuit of truth over winning arguments. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
It’s hard to deny that public discourse, especially online, has taken an ugly turn over the past decade. Social media sites, which we all once heralded as revolutionary tools for connection and change, now seem to breed anxiety, arguments, and even despair.
So what happened? Is there something inherently wrong with us, or have these sites changed over time in ways we haven’t fully grasped?
This week, we’re here with writer and media researcher Tobias Rose-Stockwell to investigate the psychological underpinnings of sites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Tobias is the author of Outrage Machine: How Tech Amplifies Discontent, Disrupts Democracy, and What We Can Do About It.
In his work, Tobias has uncovered how social media sites have increasingly capitalized on innate quirks in human psychology to keep us outraged, divided, and always scrolling for more.
The Science of “Doomscrolling”
You may have found yourself getting sucked into heated arguments and disturbing news stories online, unable to look away even when you want to. As it turns out, this phenomenon called “doomscrolling” is no accident.
As Tobias explains, human brains have evolved to rapidly take note of potential threats and dangers. We’re primed to focus our attention on the outrageous, salacious, and emotional parts of our environment — likely because paying attention to hazards helped early humans survive.
Social media sites have now wired themselves to tap into these psychological instincts. Features like personalized news feeds surface the most emotional and provocative content first, since data shows we’re most likely to engage with those posts. The results? We can’t peel our eyes away from our feeds, even when what we’r…
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Ep 265: Turning Teens Into Savvy Investors
5 november 2023 · 24 min
Maya Corbic, author of From Piggy Banks to Stocks, tells us how to turn allowance into financial lessons. Maya dishes on the potential dangers of blindly trusting financial advisors, the future of investing, and investing for generational wealth. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Investing often feels out of reach for teens. The stock market can seem complex and intimidating, and most kids just don’t think about their money working for them. But investing early and shifting teens’ money mindset can set them up for financial success down the road.
This week, we’re talking with Maya Corbic, financial educator and author of “From Piggy Banks to Stocks: The Ultimate Guide for a Young Investor.” Maya has spent over a decade teaching kids and teens how to manage money wisely. After paying off all her debts and realizing she didn’t have to work a 9 to 5 anymore, Maya decided to dedicate her life to helping others improve their financial literacy.
On the show, Maya is breaking down the basics of investing in simple terms teens can grasp. We’re discussing how to switch teens’ thinking from being consumers to being owners and investors. Maya explains what teens should learn about money before they’re ready to start investing. She also reveals common mistakes parents make when introducing kids to investing concepts.
Turning Teens into Investors Instead of Just Consumers
Maya suggests reframing the way we talk to teens about the products they love to use. For example, teens may be huge fans of Apple products. But instead of seeing themselves as consumers of iPhones and Apple watches, Maya encourages teens to think like owners. They can purchase stock and actually own part of the company behind their favorite tech gadgets. This sense of ownership switches teens thinking and gets them excited about investing.
Owning even just one share of a company ties teens to brands in a whole new way. And it opens their eyes to the idea that they can earn money by owning stock, not just by traditional …
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Ep 264: Overcoming Anxiety, Finding Well-Being
29 oktober 2023 · 22 min
Dr Gregory Scott Brown, author of The Self-Healing Mind, helps us bust myths surrounding mental health and self-care. We discuss the difference between mental health and mental illness and the keys to teen well-being. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
As parents, we spend a lot of time thinking about our teens’ mental health. Often, the first things that come to mind are mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts. However, there’s a key distinction between mental illness and mental health. While illnesses like depression undoubtedly take a toll, mental health refers to overall well-being - things like motivation, focus, emotional regulation and connection.
So how can we support the mental health of our teens? This week, we’re talking self-care - those small, daily practices that equip us to handle life’s ups and downs. To break it all down, we’re joined by Dr. Gregory Scott Brown, psychiatrist and author of The Self-Healing Mind.
In his book, Dr. Brown outlines what he calls the five pillars of self-care: sleep, spirituality, nutrition, breathwork and movement. He explains how these pillars not only stave off mental illness, but also strengthen the skills and habits teens need to build mental resilience. Things like focus, self-awareness, stress tolerance, healthy relationships and more.
The Healing Potential Of Self-Care
In our interview, Dr. Brown explains that self-care practices have scientifically-proven healing effects on the mind and body. Breathing exercises can stimulate relaxation responses by increasing GABA and alpha brain waves. Adequate sleep allows the brain to replenish and solidify memories. Movement and yoga help us cultivate conscious body awareness and presence. And healthy eating provides the building blocks for neurotransmitters that regulate mood.
Rather than erasing unwanted feelings with medication, self-care helps us sit with discomfort and understand the message behind our emotions, Dr. Brown explains. However, self-care can pow…
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Ep 263: Sex, Puberty and Parenting
15 oktober 2023 · 23 min
Dina Alexander, founder of EducateEmpowerKids.org, joins us to share her view on how to talk to tweens and teens about S-E-X and everything that comes with it. Rather than one big “talk” Dina encourages small, frequent talks to get the message(s) across. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Talking about sex with teenagers is notoriously awkward and uncomfortable for parents. But in today's world, where kids have unprecedented access to explicit content online, it's more important than ever to push past that discomfort. Our kids need us to have open, judgement-free conversations to help them build healthy relationships and develop positive views on sexuality.
On this week's episode of Talking to Teens, we're speaking with Dina Alexander, an expert on communicating with kids about sex and relationships. Dina is the founder of Educate and Empower Kids and the author of the 30 Days of Sex Talks book series. With a daughter who is currently a senior in high school, Dina has plenty of firsthand experience navigating tricky conversations about sex.
Dina explains why discussions about sex make so many parents anxious, even as sexual imagery pervades mainstream American culture. Often, our own experiences and assumptions get in the way of having constructive talks with teens. We discuss how to get over those hang-ups so we can have productive dialogues.
Dina has recently released updated editions of her sex talk books, so we explore what has changed in the past few years when it comes to teen perspectives on relationships and intimacy. The proliferation of dating apps and social media has dramatically impacted how kids today approach romance and physical affection. Porn aimed specifically at girls and young women has also grown more prevalent. Dina offers insight into how to address new challenges.
Throughout the interview, Dina provides tips for making chats about delicate topics more comfortable and effective. We talk about starting early, framing discussions around ideals for healthy …
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Ep 262: Built to Move: Healthy Teens
8 oktober 2023 · 26 min
Kelly and Juliet Starrett, authors of Built To Move, highlight the significance of physical activity, especially among teens. Being healthy is not only about exercising once per day for 45 minutes—Kelly and Juliet advocate for building movement into your day. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Raising teenagers is exhausting. As parents, we’re often overwhelmed juggling work, household duties, keeping up with kids’ busy schedules, and trying to keep our own sanity intact. Self-care goes out the window, and before we know it, we’re burnt out, injured, or sick.
We know we “should” make time to exercise and eat right — but finding time is easier said than done. However, what if small, sustainable movement habits could give us the energy, focus and durability we need to weather life’s stressors and model healthy lifestyles for our teens?
This week we’re talking all about the power of movement with Juliet Starrett and Kelly Starrett, authors of the new book Built to Move: The 10 Essential Habits to Help You Move Freely and Live Fully. Juliet and Kelly are movement and mobility experts who have spent decades working with elite athletes and organizations. They’re here to breakdown how small movement practices throughout your day can have big impacts on health.
Why We Need to Move More
Here’s a concerning stat: the average American teenager spends just 40-80 minutes per day outdoors. This lack of movement and nature exposure sets teens up for poor health outcomes. As Kelly and Juliet explain, our bodies need regular movement and time outside to function properly. Otherwise, we adapt to live a “sedentary lifestyle”.
In fact, research shows that sitting for more than 6 hours per day can negatively impact how our bodies metabolize fats and sugars, hurt brain function, increase disease risk, and limit our sleep quality. We might make time for exercise, but if we spend the rest of our waking hours inactive, it simply isn’t enough.
The good news? Adding more movement throughout our day doe…
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Ep 261: What Your Teen’s Music Says About Them
1 oktober 2023 · 26 min
Susan Rogers, author of This Is What It Sounds Like, offers insight into what different tastes in music reveal about personality. Plus, how parents and teens can connect more deeply by sharing and exploring music. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Music is deeply personal, especially for teenagers. In this episode, we’re exploring what your teen’s music taste says about them and how you can use music to connect more deeply.
We’re joined by Susan Rogers, a cognitive neuroscientist, award-winning professor at Berklee College of Music, multi-platinum record producer, and author. With decades of experience in the music industry and a PhD researching music perception and cognition, Susan has rare insight into both the art and science of music.
In our conversation, Susan explains that musical tastes are highly individualized, tapping into our inner psyche and self-image. Criticizing your teen’s music taste can feel like a personal attack to them. Instead, Susan suggests having a “record pull” where family members take turns playing music they love for each other. This allows everyone to glimpse into each other’s musical psyche.
What Your Teen’s Taste Reveals
We discuss fascinating research Susan conducted asking people what visuals and memories they associate with their favorite music. Results showed the majority of people see autobiographical memories, allowing them to relive happy moments from their past. For teens, this often means music from when they were younger.
Susan explains music activates the brain’s “default network” tied to our sense of self. So when teens listen to music they relate to, it becomes deeply enmeshed with their personal identity. Lyrics often take a backseat, Susan says, with musical qualities resonating more deeply.
Using Music to Connect
With the teenage brain still developing areas related to identity and self-perception, what teens believe their peers think of them becomes what they think of themselves. Susan suggests asking teens openly about their…
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Ep 260: How to Turn Setbacks into Success
24 september 2023 · 24 min
Michelle Icard, author of Eight Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success, returns to clue us in on what to say and do when our teens stumble and fall. We cover Michelle’s easy three-step method to speaking to your teen about any failure. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Setbacks and failures might seem like the worst things for teens, but they can actually be pivotal moments that build character strengths. In her new book "Eight Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success," psychologist and parenting expert Michelle Icard flips the script on our instinct to shield teens from failure. Instead of seeing failure as something to avoid, Michelle helps reframe these experiences as opportunities for teens to grow.
In this episode, Michelle walks us through the three steps she's identified to help teens leverage setbacks on their way to adulthood: separating emotions from events, identifying lessons and values, and planning next steps. We also discuss common setbacks teens face involving friendships, academics, digital life, values, and more. Michelle shares advice for how parents can respond in helpful ways, have constructive conversations, and model resilience.
Why Failure Matters
It's natural for parents to want to protect their teens from hurt, but experiencing failure is how teens build grit and perseverance. Setbacks teach problem-solving skills that are essential for adulthood. Still, watching your teen struggle can be painful. Michelle explains failure is part of an age-old process of identity formation common to cultures across history. Understanding this developmental path can help reframe our perspective.
Michelle also describes her three-step method to help teens process failures in productive ways. By separating emotions, identifying lessons, and planning next actions, parents can guide teens through setbacks without shame. Avoiding judgment and punishment is key.
Common Setbacks Teens Face
Michelle outlines eight of the most common setbacks teens experience today in area…
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Ep 259: What’s Your Pronoun?
17 september 2023 · 23 min
Dennis Baron, author of What’s Your Pronoun?, takes us on a journey through the evolution of pronouns. Younger generations are boldly claiming their linguistic identities—how do we better understand them? Lees meer
Full Show Notes
In recent years, the discussion around pronouns has expanded well beyond the binary he and she, with young people leading the charge in educating themselves and others about the variety of pronouns people use to express their identities. This movement towards a more inclusive language might seem novel, but Dennis Baron, author of "What's Your Pronoun?" reveals that the conversation around pronoun usage has deep historical roots.
This episode explores the fascinating history of alternative pronoun usage, unearthing attempts to reform the English language and fill what have been perceived as gaps in our pronoun set with gender-neutral or common gender pronouns. Through his research, Baron discovered over 200 proposals for alternative pronouns in just three months, many dating back to the 19th and early 20th centuries, such as thon, ze, and even the singular they.
The Quest for a Gender-Neutral Pronoun
Baron's journey into the world of pronouns began over 40 years ago when he researched attempts to reform the English language. He found that alongside spelling and grammar reforms, there was a significant push for a gender-neutral or common gender pronoun. Interestingly, this quest for an inclusive pronoun is not new, with proposals dating back to the 19th century.
The Singular They and Controversies
One significant aspect of the conversation around pronouns is the use of singular they. Baron points out that despite criticism, singular they has been part of the English language since the 14th century. The resistance to singular they highlights broader debates about language, inclusivity, and identity, which are explored in depth in this episode.
The Political and Social Implications of Pronoun Usage
The episode also delves into the political an…
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Ep 258: Privacy Versus Parenting
10 september 2023 · 23 min
Devorah Heitner, author of Growing Up in Public, sheds light on the multiple ways we monitor teen’s digital lives and the broader implications of constant surveillance. We also dive into the challenges and opportunities that arise when raising tech-savvy teens. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Raising teenagers in today’s digitally-focused and surveillance-heavy society can feel like uncharted territory for many parents. The constant monitoring—from social media engagement to academic performance tracking—has transformed the way teens experience their formative years. This digital reality brings a host of new challenges for families, navigating the balance between keeping children safe online and respecting their privacy and independence. But how can parents support their teens without infringing on their autonomy? How can families encourage resilience and kindness in a world that often feels intrusive?
In this week's episode of Talking to Teens, we're delving deep into the complexities of parenting in a digital society. We're joined by Devorah Heitner, an expert in the impact of technology on children and teens, and the author of "Growing Up in Public." Devorah's work has been featured in major outlets such as The New York Times and CNN, and she's here to share her insights on empowering parents to foster resilient and respectful digital citizens.
Digital Surveillance: A Double-Edged Sword
Our kids are growing up under a microscope, scrutinized by both the technology they use and the watchful eyes of their parents. This constant surveillance can have profound implications for their development, sense of self, and privacy. Devorah helps us understand the spectrum of digital monitoring practices—from reading texts to tracking locations—and invites us to question the impact of these actions on our relationships with our teenagers.
The Public Life of Teens: Navigating Mistakes Online
In a world where a single post or comment can have lasting consequences, how can we prepare our…
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Ep 257: From Grieving to Resilient Parent
3 september 2023 · 25 min
Jarie Bolander, author of Ride or Die, shares his experience of parenting through grief and the stigma that comes with it as a man. His journey through grief toward resilience is a testament to the power of vulnerability with our teens and others. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Parenting teenagers can often feel like an underappreciated marathon. You pour your heart and soul into managing their lives - from keeping a roof over their heads to navigating their emotional storms - only to be met with what seems like a bottomless pit of demands and indifference. But, is this struggle unique to parenting, or is it a universal sentiment felt by caregivers at large?
Jarie Bolander found himself plunged into an intense caregiving role when his wife, Jane, was diagnosed with leukemia. As he juggled his business, hers, and her complete medical and emotional care, he encountered a profound sense of being unappreciated. Surprisingly, his journey mirrors many elements of parenting teenagers.
Jarie is an author and entrepreneur, brings a unique perspective to the table. With a background in writing business books and a personal journey through tragic loss, Jarie’s recent memoir, *Ride or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband's Memoir*, offers deep insights into the emotional landscape of care, love, and appreciation.
Insights on Gratitude and Control
Jarie's experience with his wife's illness brought to light how feelings of ungratefulness often stem from a lack of control. This insight resonates with the teen-parent dynamic, where teenagers' striving for independence clashes with parental control, often manifesting as a seeming lack of gratitude.
Standards of Behavior and Aspirations
Drawing parallels between caregiving and stepping into a parenting role for a teenager, Jarie emphasizes setting standards of behavior and providing role models for aspiration. He advocates for open dialogues and rational decision-making that respects the teenager's burgeoning sense of autonomy.
The Less…
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Ep 256: Tricky Talks: Weight, Food, and Exercise
27 augustus 2023 · 25 min
Juna Grata and Dr. Edward Phillips, co-authors of Food, We Need to Talk, join us to discuss controversial health topics. We cover how parents can skillfully navigate tricky talks on weight, exercise, and dieting. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Raising teenagers in today's society comes with a myriad of concerns, from academic pressures to social dynamics, but one topic that lurks in the shadows of family life is how we approach the subject of food. For many parents, navigating discussions around eating habits, body image, and nutrition is like walking a tightrope, filled with potential missteps that could lead to unhealthy patterns. Yet, ignoring these conversations isn't the solution either. So, how can parents support their teens in developing a healthy relationship with food?
This week on Talking to Teens, we dive deep into the complexities of food, diet, and metabolism with Juna Grata and Dr. Edward Phillips, co-authors of "Food, We Need to Talk." Juna Grata, a Harvard graduate with a rich background in cognitive neuroscience and a personal journey through the maze of diet culture, and Dr. Edward Phillips, an associate professor at Harvard Medical School specializing in physical medicine and rehabilitation, bring together their expertise and experiences to shed light on how to talk about food in a way that nurtures healthy habits.
Debunking the Metabolism Myth
One of the biggest misconceptions that surround our understanding of food and weight is metabolism. Juna and Edward unravel the science behind metabolism, clarifying common myths and explaining how our body's energy management system really works. They emphasize the role of muscle mass in metabolism and challenge the widely held belief that our metabolic rate dramatically slows down as we age.
The Problem with Diets
At the heart of many family tensions around food is the topic of dieting. With an overwhelming array of diets promising quick fixes, it's no wonder parents and teens find themselves caught in a cycle …
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Ep 255: How Much Should Parents Push?
20 augustus 2023 · 24 min
Jennifer Breheny Wallace, author of Never Enough, shares insight into modern day “achievement culture.” We discuss the hidden consequences of pushing teens too hard, and how to help teens balance achievement and fulfillment. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Parenting teenagers in today's world comes with a unique set of challenges, not least of which is the increasing pressure on teens to excel in all areas of their lives. From school achievements to extracurricular activities, our teens are bombarded with the message that they need to do more, be more, and achieve more just to matter. But what if the secret to raising healthy, happy, and successful teenagers is not about pushing them to achieve more but helping them understand that they already matter?
In this eye-opening episode of Talking to Teens, we're delving deep into the world of high-achieving teens and the often toxic culture surrounding their quest for success. We're joined by Jenny Wallace, a seasoned journalist who has spent the last four years investigating the rise of toxic achievement culture across America. Jenny's work, including hundreds of interviews with teenagers, parents, and experts, culminates in her latest book, Never Enough, which aims to shed light on this pressing issue and offer practical solutions for parents.
Jenny brings a wealth of experience to the table, having worked as a journalist for 60 minutes and frequently contributed to The Wall Street Journal and The Washington Post. As a parent of three teenagers herself, Jenny's insights are not only research-based but deeply personal, making her guidance invaluable for anyone navigating the complex world of teen parenting today.
The Weight of Achievement
Jenny begins by addressing the mounting evidence suggesting that teenagers attending high-achieving schools are at an increased risk for anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. She discusses the pervasive "never enough" mentality that drives teens to prioritize achievements over the…
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Ep 254: Life Skills for Connecting with Others
13 augustus 2023 · 24 min
Brooke Romney, author of 52 Modern Manners for Today's Teenagers, takes us beyond basic etiquette to understand how manners shape important life skills and awareness in teenagers. We discover why manners matter more than ever in the digital age and post-Covid world Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Raising teenagers in today’s world is challenging, with digital distractions and societal pressures complicating traditional upbringing methods. Parents often wonder if they've covered all the bases in preparing their children for adulthood, especially when it comes to social skills and manners that go beyond the dining table.
In today's episode, we sit down with Brooke Romney, a prolific writer, speaker, educator, and connector known for her insightful pieces in The Washington Post and Deseret News. Brooke is here to share her unique approach to bridging the gap between what teenagers know and what they need to know to thrive socially and emotionally.
Bridging the Teenage Gap
Brooke noticed a divide among teens—those who mastered social skills naturally and those who struggled, often due to a lack of explicit teaching or various personal challenges. Observing this, she was inspired to create a resource that would serve as a comprehensive guide, covering everything from initiating conversations to being a considerate guest. Her work, "52 Modern Manners for Today's Teens," provides teenagers and their families with a roadmap to successful social interactions and relationship-building.
More Than Manners: Life Skills for Success
Brooke’s mission extends beyond teaching which fork to use. By defining "manners" as essential life skills, her books delve into the practical aspects of leading a fulfilled life. Topics range from the simple act of introducing oneself to more complex issues like inclusivity and empathy. Through engaging presentations and family discussions, Brooke’s books aim to not only instruct but to connect, providing a shared language for families to address common socia…
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Ep 253: How to Clean Up a Mental Mess
6 augustus 2023 · 26 min
Dr. Caroline Leaf, author and clinical neuroscientist, shares wisdom from her years of study and practice helping kids develop healthy minds. She offers us practical tips on what parents can do to help their teens build mental resilience for years to come. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
It will come as no surprise to parents up and down the country to hear that we are in the midst of a mental health crisis, and it is our children and adolescents who are bearing the brunt of it.
Every generation faces change, experiencing something completely unique and different to the last - whether that’s technological, political, socioeconomic or something else entirely. Change is life’s constant companion. However, when the pace of change accelerates but we do not adapt our methods for managing life’s chaos along with it, our mental health suffers.
The model our society has in place for managing mental health has remained largely unchanged over the last 50 years and it is no longer keeping pace with our mental health needs. This has left us in a mental mess; one that is felt most acutely by the youngest members of our society.
A change in approach is long overdue, and if we want our children to rise to life’s challenges today, we need to adapt our own thinking so that we can equip our kids with the tools they need to thrive now.
To learn what we can do to help our teenagers manage their mental health and find peace of mind, we’re talking to Dr Caroline Leaf, author of How to Help Your Child Clean Up Their Mental Mess.
Caroline is a communication pathologist and cognitive neurologist who specializes in helping people to see the power of their mind and find mental peace. With over 40 years of research and writing in this area, she is a best-selling author of 19 books, has a top-rated podcast, and currently lectures at academic, medical, corporate, and religious conferences around the world.
In our interview, we’re talking about the impact our mind has on our brain, body and lives and ho…
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Ep 252: Feeling Blah? Recapture Life's Highs
30 juli 2023 · 29 min
Tanith Cary, author of Feeling Blah?, clues us in on the science behind anhedonia, the technical term for “feeling blah.” Teens are reporting high levels of depression and anhedonia—we explore what parents can do to combat it. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Tanith Carey, author of Feeling Blah?, clues us in on the science behind anhedonia, the technical term for “feeling blah.” Teens are reporting high levels of depression and anhedonia—we explore what parents can do to combat it.
Does your teenager get into moods where everything just feels “blah”? Where school, practice and hobbies no longer generate the kind of enthusiasm they used to, and it seems like all the joy has been sucked out of life?
It might feel like your teen is struggling with a deep, existential crisis, but it could be related to a condition known as anhedonia. Anhedonia can affect us all but it is becoming increasingly prevalent among teenagers.
Learning to recognize the signs and knowing what to do - and, sometimes, what not to say - is key to teaching our kids to manage their own emotional systems and lead fulfilled, joyful lives.
To explain the neuroscience behind why anhedonia leaves people feeling joyless and how we can help our kids recapture that joy, we’re talking to Tanith Carey, author of Feeling Blah.
Tanith is an award-winning author and journalist with 13 books on psychology, mental health and adolescence that have been published and translated into 35 languages, and has written articles on mental health in adolescents and much more for media outlets all around the world.
In our interview, we’re talking about understanding what anhedonia means for our kids, teaching them how happiness works in the brain, and the practical steps we can take to help our kids build and maintain their emotional wellbeing.
Name It To Tame It
Unless you know the word for it, it’s more difficult to fix it, says Tanith as she explains why she wants to bring the word “anhedonia” out of research papers and into pub…
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Ep 251: Shaping Identity with Values
23 juli 2023 · 28 min
Sam LaCrosse, author of Value Economics, unveils principles for fostering strong values in teenagers. We also dive into an examination of helping teens build a sense of identity, and the impact of going too far with positivity. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
In today's world, teenagers are bombarded with questions about who they are and where they belong. Social media and a plethora of information sources can often lead them down paths of confusion and identity crises. It’s crucial for parents to understand the role they play in guiding their teenagers towards developing a strong sense of self, built on a foundation of positive values. Sam LaCrosse, a young author passionate about the intersection of economics and identity formation, joins us to unravel how we can apply economic principles to instill strong values in our teenagers.
Sam LaCrosse, at the age of 24, penned "Value Economics: The Study of Identity," aiming to offer a fresh perspective on building one's identity based on well-crafted values. He brings incredible personal vulnerability into his work, making strong arguments against the prevailing winds of self-help that preach unattainable positivism and highlights the necessity of sacrifice and self-awareness in cultivating personal values and identity.
The Factors of Value Production
Sam discusses the necessity of transforming basic experiences into valuable life lessons through "The Factors of Value Production." This concept is broken into four key components: experiences, actions, discipline, and self-awareness. Each plays a critical role in how individuals, especially teenagers, can craft their values. Through relatable examples, Sam ignites a conversation on how parents can encourage their teenagers to engage more deeply with their world, learn from their experiences, and develop a robust value system.
Modeling Strong Values at Home
The conversation dives into how parents can be exemplary models of strong values for their teenagers. By sharing responsibilit…
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Ep 250: Homeschool vs Traditional School
16 juli 2023 · 28 min
Catherine Read, author of The Genius of Home, helps us compare the advantages and challenges of homeschooling with traditional school, and how to handle the transition from one to the other and vice versa! Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Raising teenagers in today's fast-paced world means constantly searching for the best ways to nurture their development while keeping up with their educational needs. But what if the key to providing a rounded and enriching education lies outside the traditional classroom setting? That's what we're exploring in today's episode, where we dive into an educational philosophy that ties learning to the natural rhythms of a child's development: the Waldorf curriculum.
Today, we're fortunate to be joined by Catherine Read, a developmental psychologist with a PhD from UCLA and an accomplished author. Over the course of her career, Catherine has embraced the Waldorf curriculum, homeschooling her two daughters through the 11th grade. Her book, "The Genius of Home: Teaching Your Children at Home with the Waldorf Curriculum," sheds light on this journey and the profound impact of Waldorf education.
The Waldorf Difference
At the heart of our discussion with Catherine is the striking contrast between the Waldorf approach to education and the conventional methods found in most schools. Unlike the typical fragmented school day, Waldorf education emphasizes blocks of focused learning, particularly in the morning when students' minds are most receptive to absorbing new information. This method not only respects the student's developmental stage but also encourages active participation and self-exploration.
Catherine shares her firsthand experiences transitioning from playgroups to homeschooling, emphasizing the importance of nature, imagination, and beauty in the educational process. The Waldorf curriculum's emphasis on creating a harmonious learning environment resonates through her anecdotes, showcasing how this approach fosters a deeper connection between …
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Ep 249: The Keys to Instilling Confidence
9 juli 2023 · 26 min
Selena Rezvani, author of Quick Confidence, joins us to discuss misperceptions around confidence and resilience. We learn the counterintuitive role vulnerability and authenticity have in raising confident teens. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Raising teenagers in today’s world comes with its unique set of challenges - among them, helping our teens navigate the tightrope of self-confidence. Often, society pushes a surface-level idea of confidence, emphasizing a façade of fearlessness and bravado. However, true confidence—rooted in authenticity, vulnerability, and self-expression—offers a more meaningful and resilient foundation for our teens as they journey toward adulthood.
Today, we're thrilled to be joined by Selena Rezvani, a renowned speaker, content creator, and commentator on leadership, and the author of the insightful book, "WIC Confidence." Selena brings a fresh perspective on building genuine confidence that celebrates individuality and encourages connection.
First Impressions and Authenticity
We start with a conversation on the pressures teens face to conform in new situations and how striving for positive first impressions often leads to hiding their true selves. Selena offers practical advice on breaking the ice and forming connections without sacrificing authenticity. The discussion includes actionable tips for parents on guiding their teens through these social dynamics.
The Power of Outfits
Selena introduces us to the concept of a "power outfit" and how attire can significantly influence confidence levels. We explore how teens can identify clothing that makes them feel powerful and authentic, crafting a personal style that boosts their confidence.
Acts of Non-Compliance
In a world that often demands conformity, standing out can be daunting for teens. Selena discusses the importance of acts of non-compliance as a form of self-expression and authenticity. This segment provides parents with strategies to support their teens in embracing and showcasing their …
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Ep 248: What Would Gen-Z Do?
2 juli 2023 · 30 min
John Schlimm, author of What Would Gen-Z Do, clues us in onto what’s going on with Gen Z. What does the next generation do well, struggle with, and care about most? Lees meer
Full Show Notes
In a world where generations often struggle to understand each other, Generation Z stands out as a group extensively stereotyped and misunderstood. Known for their digital nativity and often misinterpreted through media, Gen Z's authentic voices and concerns are frequently overshadowed. This episode of Talking to Teens delves into the world of Generation Z, shedding light on how to foster deeper and more meaningful conversations between teens and adults.
Our guest, John Schlimm, is a Harvard-trained educator, artist, advocate, and international award-winning author who has been instrumental in unveiling the complex nature of Gen Z. Through extensive research, trusted relationships, and innovative projects like the Gen Z Time Capsule with the Andy Warhol Museum, John has provided a platform for Gen Zers to present themselves to the world beyond stereotypes and stigmas.
The Importance of Listening
The episode opens with a vital realization: when talking about sensitive topics like mental health, are adults being triggered by Gen Z’s openness? They grew up in a time where such discussions were taboo. Understanding this dynamic can transform conversations, making them more open and honest.
Breaking Stereotypes: The World of Gaming
Gen Z’s engagement with video games is often criticized by older generations. John shares insights on how games are not merely a pastime but a way to develop crucial skills like strategic thinking, communication, and social-emotional learning. Understanding and respecting Gen Z's hobbies can bridge gaps between generations.
Navigating Social Media: The Reality of "Finstas"
The concept of "Finstas," or fake Instagram accounts, is often misinterpreted by adults. John clarifies that these accounts are less about secrecy and more about a space for Gen Zers to …
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Ep 247: The Surprising Benefits of an Idle Summer
25 juni 2023 · 25 min
Pam Lobley, author of Why Can’t We Just Play?, tells the story of how she got her family’s summer schedule under control and created a stronger bond with her kids by embracing the notion of “doing nothing.” Lees meer
Full Show Notes
In today's fast-paced world, the life of a teenager often mirrors the hustle and bustle of adulthood. With a calendar filled to the brim with school, extracurricular activities, and social commitments, the notion of "free time" seems like a relic of the past. But what if the secret to balance, happiness, and creativity for our teens lies in embracing the art of doing nothing?
This week on Talking to Teens, we delve into a topic that's at once revolutionary and nostalgic: the profound impact of stepping back to a simpler time when kids had the freedom to play without agendas or supervision. Joining us is Pam Lobley, a comedic actress turned author, whose intriguing experiment and subsequent book, "Why Can't We Just Play," brings forth valuable insights for modern-day parents striving to raise well-rounded and resilient teenagers.
The Lost Art of Free Play
Pam shares the story of how a casual conversation and the visceral reaction of her own children to an over-scheduled life led her to conduct a summer-long experiment with her family, stepping back into the ideals of the 1950s. This was a time when kids had the license to be kids, roaming free, inventing games, and discovering the world at their pace. The experiment, though challenging in a world that equates busyness with productivity, revealed surprising benefits not only for her children but for Pam herself.
Facing Modern Parenting Pressures
In our discussion, we explore the societal pressures that compel us to keep our teens always "on the go." Pam elucidates how this relentless scheduling might stem from a place of love and fear of them falling behind, yet it strips away crucial developmental opportunities. Learning to embrace periods of unstructured time can be transformative for teen…
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Ep 246: What to Say to Get Your Way
18 juni 2023 · 24 min
Jonah Berger, author of Magic Words, teaches us techniques for what to say to get our way. An expert on influencing techniques, Dr Berger clues us in on the six types of language and which to use to get through to stubborn teens. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Raising teens is no small feat, especially when it comes to communication. How often do parents find themselves at a loss for words, trying to guide, persuade, or connect with their ever-changing teenagers? Yet, what if the solution to improving these conversations was hidden in the very words we select? Today, we're exploring the potent impact of language on influencing and understanding your teenager.
In this enlightening episode, we're joined by Dr. Jonah Berger, a renowned expert in language and social influence. Jonah's research and his latest book, "Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way," shed light on how subtle changes in the words we choose can dramatically shift the outcomes of our interactions. His insights are particularly compelling for parents navigating the complex dynamics of teenage communication.
The Science of "Speak": Understanding Teenage Brains
Teenagers are complex. Their brains are rapidly developing, leading to unique patterns of thinking and communication. Jonah's framework, the “Speak” model, identifies key strategies grounded in this developmental understanding, helping parents harness the power of language effectively.
One powerful takeaway from our conversation is the transformation of actions into identities. Learn how framing requests or expectations in terms of identity ("be a helper" instead of "help") can motivate teens more effectively and shape their self-perception positively.
"Could" Versus "Should": Empowering Teen Decision-Making
The dilemma of "could" versus "should" in language illustrates how empowering teens to consider a range of possibilities, rather than imposing singular shoulds, can lead to more creative and autonomous decision-making. This approach fosters critic…
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Ep 245: The Dyslexic Advantage
11 juni 2023 · 29 min
Dr. Brock and Dr. Fernette Eide, authors of The Dyslexic Advantage, delve into the intricacies of the dyslexic brain. We cover the incredible, though often hidden, strengths of a dyslexic brain, and advocating for better learning environments for all learners. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Parenting a teenager who's facing learning challenges can sometimes feel like navigating an uncharted map—especially if your teen has been diagnosed with dyslexia. Traditional educational environments often spotlight the hurdles dyslexic students face, such as reading difficulties and slow processing speed. But what if we've been looking at dyslexia all wrong? What if, buried beneath the challenges, there lie incredible strengths and untapped potential?
This week on "Talking to Teens," we delve into a transformative conversation with Brock and Fernette Eide, leading experts in the field of dyslexia and authors of the international bestseller "The Dyslexic Advantage." Both doctors and co-founders of the nonprofit Dyslexic Advantage and the social purpose corporation Neuro Learning, Brock and Fernette bring a wealth of knowledge, research, and personal experience to our discussion. After encountering learning challenges within their own family, they embarked on a mission to understand dyslexia not just as a disability, but as a unique advantage in disguise.
Dyslexia: A Paradigm Shift
We kick things off by challenging the traditional narrative surrounding dyslexia. Far from a simple hindrance, Brock and Fernette illustrate how the dyslexic brain is wired differently, leading to unique strengths that manifest in creativity, three-dimensional thinking, and problem-solving. By understanding these strengths, we can begin to see dyslexia not as a deficit, but as a different kind of cognitive specialization.
Recognizing Hidden Talents
One of the key messages from our guests is the importance of recognizing and nurturing the creative potential in dyslexic teenagers. Too often, their talents can b…
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Ep 244: Financial Habits for Savvy Teens
4 juni 2023 · 25 min
Berna Anat, author of Money Out Loud, helps us unpacks the tangle of personal finance and psychology to better understand our financial habits. It’s never too late to change money habits for the better and pass on healthy financial behaviors to our teens! Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Raising teenagers in today's complex financial landscape is no easy feat. With an abundance of conflicting advice and the unique challenges presented by the digital age, parents often find themselves unsure about how to approach money matters with their kids. This episode challenges the traditional wisdom around financial literacy and offers parents fresh, actionable strategies for discussing money with their teens.
This week, we're joined by Berna Anat, a financial literacy expert and the vibrant voice behind Money Out Loud. As the daughter of Philippine immigrants, Berna's own journey from silence to education about personal finance forms the bedrock of her approach to financial education. With a philosophy that stresses understanding your money story before attempting to rewrite it, Berna's insights are not just practical—they're transformative.
Understanding Your Money Story
It often begins with us—the parents. Berna encourages us to delve into our own experiences with money, acknowledging that our earliest influences shape our financial behaviors today. By confronting and understanding these narratives, we can model financial mindfulness and resilience for our teens, setting the stage for honest and productive discussions about money.
Budgeting Myths Busted
One-size-fits-all budgeting advice doesn't cut it anymore. Berna debunks the popular 50/30/20 budgeting rule and advocates for a more flexible, personalized approach to managing finances. She emphasizes experimentation and adjustment as the keys to finding a budgeting system that resonates with your family's unique needs and goals.
Strategic Credit Use
Berna unveils a lesser-known strategy for giving teens a jumpstart on building a…
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Ep 243: Raising Brave Teens
28 mei 2023 · 22 min
Leon Logothetis, author of Go Be Brave, speaks about how bravery comes up in all aspects of life. We discuss the interplay of vulnerability, anger, and making peace when raising assured teens. Lees meer
Full Show Notes
Raising teenagers is a complex journey filled with highs, lows, and the many moments in between. In today's fast-paced world, where authenticity often takes a backseat to social media facades, how can we encourage our teens to uncover and speak their truth? More importantly, as parents and guardians, how can we provide a safe space that nurtures their bravery and authentic selves?
In this enlightening episode of "Talking to Teens," we delve into these pressing questions and more with the inspirational Leon Logothetis, a global adventurer, motivational speaker, philanthropist, and the author behind the empowering book, "Go Be Brave: 24 and Three Quarters Adventures for a Fearless, Wiser, and Truly Magnificent Life." Leon's journey from a London broker to a world explorer relying on the kindness of strangers is a testament to the power of embracing one’s true self and the courage it takes to step into the unknown.
Leon shares insights on why teenagers, more than any other age group, may find it particularly challenging to be authentic and the hurdles they face in voicing their needs and emotions. He stresses the importance of creating a safe environment for teens to express themselves, even when it involves anger or frustration, and provides practical advice on how to facilitate these crucial conversations at home.
Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity
Leon emphasizes the importance of vulnerability in both teens and their parents. By sharing our own journeys, including the struggles, we can demonstrate to our teens that it's alright not to have everything figured out and that authenticity is more valuable than perfection.
The Safe Expression of Anger
Learn why Leon believes that expressing anger is not only inevitable but necessary for emotional deve…