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TPP 056a: Debbie and Her Husband Derin Talk About Parenting a Differently-Wired Child
21 september 2023 · 57 min
Debbie and her husband Derin have an honest, open, and vulnerable conversation about their (up and down) journey as a couple navigating parenting a differently-wired child.
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TPP 341: Dr. Lori Desautels on Shifting Educational Systems Towards Post Traumatic Growth
29 augustus 2023 · 37 min
Dr. Lori Desautels is coming back to the show to talk about her new book Intentional Neuroplasticity: Our Educational Journey Towards Post Traumatic Growth, which stems from her passion of applying the social and relational neurosciences to education and integrating her applied research into classroom procedures and transitions prepping the nervous system for learning and felt safety.
An Assistant Professor at Butler University, K-12 educator, and researcher, Lori joined me on the podcast last year to talk about her book Connections over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline, and that conversation has really just stayed with me, so I loved having this opportunity to go deep with her about intentional neuroplasticity.
In this conversation, we discussed some of the research about neuroplasticity not only in kids but in adults, and how we can use it and what we know about the nervous system to help us co-regulate at home and at school and truly meet our children where they are. Lees meerDr. Lori Desautels, has been an Assistant Professor at Butler University since 2016 where she teaches both undergraduate and graduate programs in the College of Education. Her passion is engaging her students through the social and relational neurosciences as it applies to education by integrating the Applied Educational Neuroscience framework, and its learning principles and practices into her coursework at Butler. The Applied Educational Neuroscience Certification, created by Lori in 2016, is specifically designed to meet the needs of educators, counselors, clinicians and administrators who work beside children and adolescents who have, and are, experiencing adversity and trauma. The certification is now global and has reached hundreds of educators.
Things you'll learn from this episode
What this school year has shown us about the impact COVID has had on students and educators
What the research says about neuroplasticity in adults and how we can use it in co-regulating with c…
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TPP 044a: Amy Lang on Sex Education and Differently-Wired Kids
25 augustus 2023 · 1 uur
I'm sitting down with sexuality educator and parenting expert Amy Lang for a very frank and open conversation* about sex ed for children—what they need to know, when they need to know it, how to talk about it, and much much more. Amy is passionate about the fact that at its core, sex education is a health and safety issue for our kids. She explains why as our children’s parents and caregivers, it is up to us to initiate and continue to have conversations surrounding sexuality.
Amy Lang is committed to changing and challenging cultural beliefs about children and sexuality. She does this by teaching adults the best and most effective ways to talk, learn, and think about the birds and bees, and provides research-based, high quality keynotes, workshops, webinars, books, and other tools so adults can be true champions for the kids they care for and love. Her website is Birds + Bees + Kids. Lees meerTHINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
When parents should have “the talk” about sex (and why the “child-focused” approach of waiting until they ask is wrong)
The importance of parents reflecting on their own relationship with sex education before talking with their kids
What children should know by what age
How to talk to kids who are reluctant to engage in any conversation having to do with sex
Why differently-wired kids are especially vulnerable / need additional sex education than typically developing kids
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Birds + Bees + Kids (Amy’s website)
Dating Smarts: What Every Teen Needs to Know to Date, Relate, or Wait by Amy Lang
Birds + Bees + YOUR Kids: A Guide to Sharing Your Beliefs About Sexuality, Love, and Relationships by Amy Lang
It’s Not the Stork: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families, and Friends by Robie Harris
It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health by Robie Harris
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TPP 340: Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards on Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World
22 augustus 2023 · 51 min
My guests today are on a mission to show parents that there are different ways of approaching autism beyond what they’re told in doctors or therapists offices. Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards, co-authors of the book I Will Die on This Hill: Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World, are making it really clear that there is no one size fits all for any families and that there is so much to learn from just listening more.
Meghan Ashburn is a continuous learner, educational consultant, parent mentor, and co-author of I Will Die On This Hill. She's passionate about helping schools create more inclusive, accessible environments. Her online book club has over 10K members, and releases book recommendation lists on autism and neurodiversity. Meghan advocates for communication rights and inclusion at the local, state, and national level. She sits on her school district's Special Education Advisory Committee (SEAC) and is a recent graduate of Virginia's Partners in Policymaking.
Jules Edwards is a neurodivergent Anishinaabe writer, gardener, accountant, and disability justice advocate. She is the parent of neurodivergent Afro Indigenous people, and care provider to many neurodivergent children throughout the years. Jules is passionate about building community and works to improve child safety and disability policy.
Current roles include: care work of disabled youth, co-founder of Minnesota Autistic Alliance, board member for the Minnesota Ombudsman for American Indian Families, board member of The Arc Minnesota. She serves as the elected chairperson of the Minnesota Autism Council, a workgroup of the Senate Human Services Reform Finance and Policy Committee. Lees meerThings you'll learn from this episode
What disability justice is
Ways that allistic and autistic parents raising autistic children can work together toward our common goals for our kids
The harms of a continual pursuit for “normal” in ways that don’t respect or embrace our kids’ ne…
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TPP 097a: A "Masterclass" in Executive Functioning with Seth Perler (Part 2 of 2)
18 augustus 2023 · 42 min
This week is a continuation of last week’s episode with executive functioning coach Seth Perler, which was so packed full of information (and also so long) that I had to break it up into two separate episodes, which I’m now referring to as a “masterclass” in executive functioning.
In last week’s episode, Seth shared his protocol for setting up a child for success in their developing executive functioning skills. In today’s episode, Seth is going to get into the nitty gritty about specific strategies he uses to address different executive functioning challenges that show up in school and in life.
Seth Perler is a renegade teacher turned Executive Function Coach/Education Coach who is based in Santa Monica, CA and Boulder, CO. He helps struggling students navigate a crazy educational landscape and does his part to “disrupt” and improve education. Seth specializes in Executive Function and 2e. Find out more at sethperler.com. Lees meerTHINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
What “Frankenstudy” is, and how to know where to focus your energies so you can create a “domino effect” with your child’s fledgling executive functioning skills
How to best use “learning planners” to learn how to think / talk through their plan (and what we’re doing wrong)
The benefits of monthly planners versus daily or weekly planners
Helping kids identify the “MIT” – most important thing – each day
The importance of creating a sacred study space for a child
How to optimize an internet browser to make it easy with bookmark bars (and have tabs automatically open, including calendar, grade tab, email)
Why it’s important to get kids to start checking grades weekly (Seth recommends Sunday nights)
The importance of helping a child create clearly identified routines (for leaving house, doing daily plan, doing homework, etc.)
How getting visual with kids benefits them in developing their executive functioning skills
Why separate digital timers need to be a part of a child’s life so they can learn to c…
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TPP 339: Dayna Abraham on Helping Parents Calm the Chaos
15 augustus 2023 · 45 min
Today I’m welcoming back Dayna Abraham to the show to discuss her latest book, Calm the Chaos: A Fail-Proof Road Map for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids. I really resonate with Dayna’s work because we both are committed to empowering families, especially those who are deep in survival mode, and in her new book, she shares the framework for her signature “calm the chaos” framework which is designed to give parents a doable plan for navigating challenging situations and finding genuine calm in the midst of the storm. In our conversation today, Dayan gives us the highlights of this framework and gives us some strategies to start employing right away.
I’m betting most of you are familiar with Dayna Abraham, but just in case, here’s a bit about her. Dayna is the bestselling author of The Superkids Activity Guide to Conquering Every Day and Sensory Processing 101. She is on a mission to create a more accepting world, one challenging kid at a time. As a National Board Certified educator, parent of three neurodivergent children, and an ADHD adult herself, Dayna brings a unique and out-of-the-box perspective to parents raising kids in the modern world. Through Calm the Chaos, she has helped millions of desperate parents around the world find peace and meet their children where they’re at when conventional parenting tools have failed them. Lees meerAbout Dayna Abraham
Dayna Abraham, bestselling author of The Superkids Activity Guide to Conquering Every Day and Sensory Processing 101, is on a mission to create a more accepting world, one challenging kid at a time.
As a National Board Certified educator, parent of three neurodivergent children, and an ADHD adult herself, Dayna brings a unique and out-of-the-box perspective to parents raising kids in the modern world.
Through her compassionate framework, Calm the Chaos, she has helped millions of desperate parents around the world, find peace and meet their children where they’re at when conventional parenting tools have faile… -
TPP 096a: A "Masterclass" in Executive Functioning with Seth Perler (Part 1 of 2)
11 augustus 2023 · 38 min
In this episode of the TiLT Parenting Podcast, I’m bringing back a previous guest, executive functioning coach Seth Perler, for a two-part series in which Seth shares with us the exact approach he uses with students he works with when helping them foster their fledgling executive functioning skills.
I first had Seth on the show last fall, where he gave us an introduction to executive functioning, but we didn’t get to the more practical strategies that I know so many of us are looking for. So I asked Seth to come back on, and that conversation turned into an hour-and-a-half long sharing by Seth of truly valuable tips and strategies and insights. Because Seth shares so very much over the course of these ninety or so minutes, I wanted to split our conversation into two parts. So this episode is part one of what I’m now referring to as a “Masterclass in Executive Functioning.” In this episode, Seth shares with us his protocol for setting up a child for success in their developing executive functioning skills. In part 2 next week, Seth will go in-depth into his specific strategies surrounding building these skills in school and in life. Lees meerSeth Perler is a renegade teacher turned Executive Function Coach/Education Coach who is based in Santa Monica, CA and Boulder, CO. He helps struggling students navigate a crazy educational landscape and does his part to “disrupt” and improve education. Seth specializes in Executive Function and 2e. Find out more at sethperler.com.
THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
Seth’s definition of executive functioning framed so it helps people apply the principles to help kids
A step-by-step breakdown of exactly how Seth works with families
Why our relationship with our child is the number one thing to be preserved when doing this work
The importance of parents doing their own personal work / self-care during this process
Why kids “can’t do what we’re asking them to do because they can’t, not because they won’t,” so we need to back up a…
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TPP 338: When Home Isn’t Working: How to Find Therapeutic Programs, with Sue Scheff
8 augustus 2023 · 40 min
Today I’m bringing you an episode that covers a new topic for this show — how to find the right program when you realize your child is in need of more substantial therapeutic support or intervention. I’ve wanted to cover this topic for a long time because I know how overwhelming it can be if this is a road your family is going down. Sue Scheff has decades of experience in this field, personal and professional, and I’m grateful she joined me to shed light on the ins and outs of navigating different therapeutic programs.
With Sue’s fascinating background, we could have explored many different topics for this episode, but what I wanted to do in this conversation is to have Sue give us an overview of the options available to parents whose kids are struggling with challenging or dangerous behaviors and are in need of more intensive supports. Sue explains the difference between therapeutic boarding schools, residential treatment centers and wilderness programs, what the signals are that a child would benefit from these types of supports, how to identify the best fit program, the possibilities for having programs covered by insurance, and much more.
About Sue Scheff
Founder and President of Parents’ Universal Resource Experts Inc. (P.U.R.E.™), Sue Scheff has been leveraging her personal experiences to help others through her organization since 2001.
After being stalked, harassed, bullied and slandered online – in 2006, Scheff won a landmark case for internet defamation with an $11.3M jury verdict. Since then, she’s been an advocate for cyberbullying prevention and promoting the importance of online reputation.
She has three published books, Wit’s End (HCI 2007), Google Bomb (HCI 2009) with a foreword by Michael Fertik, and her latest, Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate (Sourcebooks 2017) with a foreword by Monica Lewinsky.
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerThe differences between therapeutic boarding schools, residential treatment centers, and wildernes…
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TPP 017a: One Mother's Radical, Nature-Based Approach to Helping Her Daughter Live with Anxiety
4 augustus 2023 · 37 min
In this episode, I talk with Jill Emmelhainz, the mother of a 14-year-old differently-wired daughter who struggles with severe anxiety. Over the years, Jill and her husband noticed their daughter Anna’s anxiety was greatly reduced when she spent time outdoors and in nature, so this past year, they decided to try something radical and fully immerse themselves in nature for extended periods of time to see what would happen. For six weeks in fall 2015 and five weeks in spring 2016, Jill and her daughter have hiked the Appalachian Trail in the eastern U.S. The result? During those weeks in nature, Anna’s anxiety all but disappeared, and she’s found ways to bring the learnings from those experiences back into her day-to-day life in a helpful way. JIll and her daughter’s story is fascinating…we have a sense you’ll think so, too! Lees meer
Jill Emmelhainz says: “I have had the privilege of raising and homeschooling our seven children. Travel and creativity have always been part of our family life. Now that we have only one child still at home, she and I enjoy outdoor adventures as a way to help her cope with significant life challenges.”
THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
How trying something completely new and radical can sometimes have unexpected, positive consequences
The power of having shared, powerful experiences with a child (especially one who’s a teenager)
Suggestions for getting kids more excited about and engaged in outdoor time and nature
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv
Jill’s blog, The Big Epic
Support the show
Connect with Tilt ParentingVisit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram
Support the show
Connect with Tilt ParentingVisit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcast…
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TPP 337: Phyllis Fagell on Raising Resilient Teens in Turbulent Times
1 augustus 2023 · 47 min
This week I’m bringing back school counselor, therapist, and author Phyllis Fagell to talk about her new book Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times which she wrote as a response to what she is seeing in her work with children in the aftermath of COVID.
During this interview, we talked about why this generation of tweens is more insecure, vulnerable, and eager to please perhaps than past generations, effective strategies for helping kids who might be rigid thinkers become more flexible, and how parents can coach their kids around navigating, forming and maintaining healthy friendships.
Phyllis L. Fagell, LCPC is the school counselor at Sheridan School in Washington, DC, a therapist who works with children and teens in private practice, and an author and journalist. She is the author of Middle School Matters: The 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond – and How Parents Can Help and her most recent book, Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times. Lees meerThings you'll learn from this episode
Why this generation of tweens is more insecure, vulnerable, and eager to please than past generations
How to help kids who might be rigid thinkers to become more flexible
What Phyllis is seeing in how kids are connecting and finding a sense of belonging in the post-pandemic era
How parents can coach their kids around navigating, forming, and maintaining healthy friendships
What the “magic question is” and how to use it to support our kids in developing empathy
How to navigate situations where our kids are seeking support from sources that may not be our first choice
Why it’s important to respect how our kids want to present their neurodiversity and other parts of their identities to the world
Resources mentioned
Phyllis Fagell’s website
Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times by Phylls Fagell
Middle School Matters: The 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle …
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TPP 101a: TV Creator Angela Santomero on Her New Book "Preschool Clues"
28 juli 2023 · 34 min
Angela Santomero is also an author, and one I had the chance to work with very closely over the past two years, as she asked me to be her co-author for her new book Preschool Clues: Raising Smart, Inspired, and Engaged Kids in a Screen-Filled World, which comes out one week from today! Preschool Clues shares the secret sauce behind Angela’s shows’ powerful, transformative results in the form of eleven research-based, foundational “clues” to ensure that preschoolers flourish academically, socially, and emotionally during this critical time.
In this episode, Angela and I talk about the book—what it’s about, who it’s for, and how it supports parents in parenting their preschoolers and beyond. Though the book isn’t written specifically for an audience of parents raising differently wired kids, the “clues” we share are relevant for any parent of any child. And the bonus? I was able to bring my unique lens as the mother of an atypical kid to the project, and so we took special care to ensure the book is inclusive of every type of child.
Angela Santomero is the creator of many preschool TV shows including Blue’s Clues, Super Why, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, Creative Galaxy, and Wishenpoof, and was the host of The Parent Show with Angela Santomero on PBS. She has a Master’s degree in Child Developmental Psychology from Teachers College, Columbia University with a sub-concentration in Instructional Technology and Media. Find out more at Angela’s website, Angela’s Clues. Lees meerTHINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
The story behind the book Preschool Clues
The importance of a healthy media diet and choosing high-quality programs for our kids
How Angela defines the ingredients of a high-quality program for preschoolers: educational, interaction, and engagement
How parents can use the “power of the Pause” in their every day life
The importance of celebrating the small things
How parents can embrace media as part of their parenting toolkit
How programs like Daniel Tiger’s Ne…
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TPP 336: Dr. Megan Anna Neff on Diagnoses and Misdiagnoses (It’s Complicated!)
25 juli 2023 · 34 min
Dr. Megan Anna Neff, is a clinical psychologist specializing in the support and empowerment of neurodivergent adults through her expertise in neurodivergent affirming care and assessments. She comes on the show to talk about the complexity of diagnosis and the why’s behind the misdiagnoses. Lees meer
We dive deep into the assessment process and why so many people slip through the cracks when seeking a diagnosis, why it’s important to get clarity around a child’s wiring in order to provide them with support that will be meaningful and affirming, why identifying one’s neurodivergence (either through self-identification or a medical diagnosis) matters, and the kind of trauma a person can experience when they go through life without a diagnosis.
Dr. Megan Anna Neff is a clinical psychologist based in Oregon, specializing in the support and empowerment of neurodivergent adults through her expertise in neurodivergent affirming care and assessments. Megan Anna has co-authored two books and published in several peer-reviewed psychological journals. Her forthcoming book, Self Care for Autistic People, exemplifies her dedication to providing accessible resources for the neurodivergent community.
Things you'll learn from this episodeThe difference between a self-diagnosis and a medical diagnosis
How the COVID pandemic influenced the influx of adults discovering their neurodivergence
What Misdiagnosis Mondays is and how and why Megan Anna created it
Why it’s important to tease out the core or underlying issues when a child is struggling with multiple neurodivergences and/or mental health challenges
The kind of trauma a child can experience when they go through life without a diagnosis
How we can support our kids in getting back to a baseline if they have built up trauma in their systems
How to identify and vet neuropsych evaluators who take a neurodivergent affirming approach to the assessment process
Resources mentioned
Megan Neff’s website
Megan Neff on Instagram at @neuro…
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TPP 069a: 12-year-old Asher Talks About His Experience at Summer Camp
21 juli 2023 · 37 min
A few months ago, Asher and I recorded an episode about the upcoming summer camps he was getting ready for, especially Space Camp. In that episode, Asher shared how he worked with his therapist over the spring to prep for tricky situations he predicted might come up while there. If you haven’t listened to that episode yet, I highly recommend you go back and check it out … you can find it here.
At the end of that episode, we promised to do a post-camp follow up so Asher could share how things went, whether or not his strategies worked, and more. So that’s what today’s episode is about… Summer Camp, Part 2. I will say that Space Camp ended up being a bit of a disappointment for Asher, and in addition to dealing with his own emotions surrounding his expectations not being met, he also felt bad because he knew so many people were rooting for him. So I’m really proud of Asher for sharing his experience for this podcast. I hope you enjoy it. Lees meerDebbie Reber is the founder of Tilt and the host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast. 12-year-old Asher is Debbie’s child and is regularly featured on the podcast. Find out more by visiting the About Page.
THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
How Space Camp went for Asher
The unforeseen challenges for Asher at camp and how he dealt with them
How Asher would prepare differently for camp if he could do it all over again
The tricky balance between setting too high and too low expectations
What it was like for Asher to be at a camp with peers who had ADHD (Eye to Eye Camp)
How Asher coped with pre-camp anxiety and jitters
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
12-year-old Asher Talks About How He’s Prepping for a Successful Time at Sleep Away Camp (podcast)
Space Camp
Eye to Eye National
David Flink
12-year-old Asher Talks to David Flink, a Social Movement Leader on the Front Lines of the Learning Rights Movement (podcast)
Support the show
Connect with Tilt ParentingVisit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differ…
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TPP 335: Amanda Diekman Dropping Demands, Restoring Calm, and Finding Connection with Your Uniquely Wired Child
18 juli 2023 · 49 min
I’ve gotten to know today’s guest, Amanda Diekman, over the past year after I participated in her Low Demand Parenting Summit, which I know many of you attended, and more recently, read her new book, Low-demand Parenting: Dropping Demands, Restoring Calm, and Finding Connection With Your Uniquely Wired Child.
Because low-demand parenting can be such an effective approach to supporting differently wired kids, especially kids who fall under the PDA profile of autism, I invited Amanda to join the show for a conversation about what this parenting approach looks like. An autistic adult, parent coach, and author in the neurodiversity space, Amanda has become a leading voice in the movement for low demand parenting practice. She runs a successful coaching practice for parents of neurodivergent children including online courses and a vibrant membership community. During this episode, we talk about what low demand parenting is, why it’s different than what might be referred to as “permissive” parenting, why it’s so effective for kids with PDA, and how she helps parents loosen up the mindset around non-negotiables.
About Amanda Diekman
Amanda Diekman is an autistic adult, parent coach, and author in the neurodiversity space. Amanda has become a leading voice in the movement for low demand parenting practices, with her book Low Demand Parenting to be published July 2023. Amanda runs a successful coaching practice for parents of neurodivergent children including online courses and a vibrant membership community.
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerWhat led Amanda to implement low-demand parenting in her family
What low demand parenting is, and why it’s often misconstrued as permissive
The relationship between PDA and low-demand parenting
Examples of big demands and tiny demands, and how shifting the focus can reduce stress for kids
How Amanda helps parents in loosening their mindset about what they define as non-negotiables
Ideas for practicing low-demand parenting in …
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TPP 059a: 12-year-old Asher Talks About How He's Prepping for Sleep Away Camp
14 juli 2023 · 30 min
A special kid's POV episode where Asher and I talk all about that rite of passage for millions of children around the world—sleep away camp. This summer, Asher is going to a sleep away camp for the second time in his life. The first time was two years ago, when he went to a very traditional outdoorsy camp with his best friend in the Pacific Northwest. All things considered, that experience went pretty well, and we learned a few things about what can be hard about camp and what kind of situations might be challenging for Asher (and for many differently-wired kids).
This year, we’re going to give it another try, this time at Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama, something Asher is, shall we say, INCREDIBLY excited about. And at the same time, when we first signed him up, Asher recognized there would be situations at Space Camp that could potentially be especially tough for him. As you’ll hear, Asher came to me and asked to work with a therapist / coach to help him figure out strategies for navigating tricky situations that might come up.
So, that’s what we’re going to talk about today…the different strategies we’ve used to help Asher get prepared for sleep away camp, as well as Asher’s own revelations about what he thinks will help him have a positive experience, even if and when things come up that push him mentally and emotionally.
Debbie Reber is the founder of Tilt and the host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast. Asher is Debbie’s son and is regularly featured on the podcast. Lees meerThings you'll learn from this episode:
How Debbie and Asher prepped for the kinds of situations that might come up at sleep away camp
Asher’s new strategy for getting “un-angry”
How Maslov’s Hierachy of Needs has helped Asher learn more about his own emotional responses
Resources Mentioned:
Camp Orkila
Space Camp
Kate Berger on What Mindfulness Can Do for Kids and How to Get Started (podcast)
Asher Talks with David Flink, a Social Movement Leader on the Front Lines of the Learning Differenc…
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TPP 334: Dr. Katie Davis on Digital Media’s Role in the Lives of Differently Wired Kids
11 juli 2023 · 50 min
My guest today is Dr. Katie Davis, a researcher on the impact of digital technologies on young people’s learning, development, and well-being, and the author of the fascinating new book, Technology’s Child: Digital Media’s Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up. The world of technology is ever-expanding and its integration into our lives so seamlessly that we often don’t stop to consider what effect it’s having on us and our children. In this conversation, Katie helps us understand what this impact is and what we want to consider surrounding our kids’ use of tech.
Katie and I explore how technology is accelerating the full arc of child development, what the research says about the efficacy of apps that are sold as tools to develop kids’ learning and things like executive function skills and whether or not ADHD symptoms can be exacerbated by technology use. We also discussed gaming disorder and how to support children in their usage of social media while they are developing and exploring their identities.
About Dr. Katie Davis
Dr. Katie Davis is Associate Professor at the University of Washington (UW) and Director of the UW Digital Youth Lab. For nearly twenty years, she has been researching the impact of digital technologies on young people’s learning, development, and well-being. In her latest book, Technology’s Child: Digital Media’s Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up, Dr. Davis brings clarity to what we know about technology’s role in child development and provides guidance on how to help children of all ages make the most of their digital experiences.
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerWhat Katie’s book Technology’s Child: Digital Media’s Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up is about and what she was hoping to accomplish by sharing it with the world
How technology is accelerating the full arc of child development
What “design abuse” is and how it keeps kids engaged in technology
The effects of technology on our kids’ fledgling executive fu…
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TPP 021a: 12-year-old Asher Talks About LIfe as a Homeschooled Kid
7 juli 2023 · 27 min
In this special kid’s POV edition of the podcast, Asher and Debbie take listeners inside their homeschooling world. They're about to begin year four of this unexpected homeschooling journey, and after much trial and error, they’ve found their rhythm and flow (for now) for what works best in their school.
Asher and Debbie talk about the transition into homeschooling, what works and what doesn’t, how Asher really feels about being homeschooling, how they co-designed they school, and what a typical day looks like. Asher also shares his thoughts on how their relationship has changed as a result of the homeschooling dynamic.
Debbie Reber is the founder of TiLT and the host of the TiLT Parenting Podcast. 12-year-old Asher is Debbie’s son and is regularly featured on the podcast. Lees meerThings You'll Learn from This Episode:
The pros and cons of homeschooling from a kid’s POV
How Asher and I have co-designed our school structure, schedule, and curriculum
How structure and flexibility can actually co-exist
What a typical school day looks like in our world
What I see as the biggest benefits of homeschooling Asher
How Asher perceives our teacher-student relationship versus mother-son
Resources Mentioned:
Image of our homeschooling daily schedule
Khan Academy
Kerbal Space Program
Kurzgesagt YouTube Channel
Ted-Ed Videos
Support the show
Connect with Tilt ParentingVisit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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TPP 333: David Marcus on Post-High School Alternative Paths for Differently Wired Kids
4 juli 2023 · 41 min
We’re talking about what we often call in the neurodivergent space, long runways, for our emerging young adults, specifically alternative paths for differently wired students who are graduating high school but may not either be ready for a “typical” college experience or for whom college isn’t part of the plan.
We do get a little update from Dave on the admissions landscape, but most of the this episode is dedicated to considering other options for students, including gap years, apprenticeships, taking a few classes at a community college, and most importantly, slowing the whole “launching” process down to support kids who would really benefit from extra time to develop and grow, recover from mental health challenges, destress, and more.
About my guest:
David L Marcus is a college admissions coach who loves helping students and parents find balance and joy. He has been a journalist, author and teacher – as well as a writing coach for CEOs.
David wrote a book about college admissions, Acceptance (published by Penguin Books). He also wrote a book about struggling teens, What It Takes to Pull Me Through (published by Houghton Mifflin). He has appeared on the Today show and NPR’s Morning Edition; he has spoken about education at conferences, schools, churches, and synagogues across the U.S. David is an honors graduate of Brown University. He was a Nieman Fellow at Harvard. But he says classes at a community college changed his life. Lees meerThings you'll learn:
What has changed for students who are college bound now that we are through the pandemic
How the decision-making and admission process has changed for students and for colleges
Why gap years can be such a good option for some students and the different ways a gap year might look
Why community college might be a good starting point for neurodivergent kids
Other options for kids who don’t want to take the college route after high school
Advice for parents with kids close to the end of high school on how to support …
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TPP 093a: A Conversation with ADHD and Autism Parent Coach Penny Williams
30 juni 2023 · 54 min
This weeks' guest is Penny Williams, author of the book Boy Without Instructions: Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD, as well The Insiders Guide to ADHD, and What To Expect When Parenting a Child with ADHD. Penny is also the founder of Parenting ADHD and Autism, which features a blog, coaching, and the Parenting ADHD podcast, all aimed at helping parents raising special kids survive, thrive, and parent with purpose.
In our conversation, Penny shares her story of raising her differently wired son, gives us the inside scoop on her books, and shares some of her best strategies for getting through the tough moments with our unique kiddos. I hope you enjoy the episode!
Penny Williams is a coffee-lovin’, ADHD-obsessed momma on a mission, and she’s honored to help families on this always chaotic, often stressful, anything-but-ordinary parenting journey. Through her award-winning books, online parent training programs, and parent coaching, Penny helps families like yours survive and thrive in the face of ADHD through a compassionate, purposeful parenthood. Lees meerTHINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
Penny’s personal story of discovering her son’s neurodifferences and advocating for him in school
Why holding her son back one year in school was the best decision Penny made (but she had to follow her gut to make it)
Penny’s thoughts on medicating kids for ADHD, as well as her story in figuring out the best medication path for her son
Why Penny had mom guilt with some her choices in supporting her son
Penny’s thoughts on the co-morbid diagnoses of ADHD and autism
The challenges of getting a thorough and accurate diagnosis when there are multiple symptoms
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Parenting ADHD and Aspergers (Penny’s website)
Boy Without Instructions:Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD by Penny Williams
What to Expect When Parenting Children with ADHD: A 9-Step Plan to Master the Struggles and Triumphs of Parenting a Child with…
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TPP 332: How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation, with Dr. Ellen Braaten
27 juni 2023 · 48 min
Dr. Ellen Braaten was one of my first guests on the Tilt Parenting podcast, when she joined me back in 2016 to talk about her book about processing speed, Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up. I’m so happy to be bringing her back to the show to talk about motivation,, which is the topic for her wonderful new book, Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation.
In this episode, we explore motivation (or what we might perceive as a lack of motivation) in our kids from many angles, including what is really going on when our child appears to be unmotivated, the relationship between executive function and motivation, how resilience comes into play, and the way in which we as parents and caregivers can support our kids in gaining confidence and skills so they can make meaningful progress towards the things that light them up.
About Dr. Ellen Braaten
Dr. Ellen Braaten is the Executive Director of the Learning and Emotional Assessment Program (LEAP) at Massachusetts General Hospital, and an Associate Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School. Dr. Braaten is widely recognized as an expert in the field of pediatric neuropsychological and psychological assessment, particularly in the areas of assessing learning disabilities and attentional disorders. She is the co-author of many books and articles for parents and professionals including the bestselling book, Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up. Her newest book, Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation was published in March of 2023.
Things you'll learn from this episode
-Why people sometimes misconstrue struggles with motivation as laziness (and how they’re getting it wrong)
-How executive function challenges and challenges with getting, or staying, motivated are connected
-What the parenting APP framework is and how it helps parents in supporting their children in feeling more motivated
-What “flow” is and how can we leverage that to support our kids’ fledgling moti… Lees meer -
TPP 057a: Using a Strengths-Based Approach to Support Differently Wired Kids
23 juni 2023 · 41 min
This episode features a conversation with Giselle Marzo Segura, a designer, teacher, mentor, writer and solutions thinker based in Miami, Florida, who is also the parent of a differently-wired daughter. As a result of her journey with her daughter, Giselle was moved to create a venture called Strength Clusters, which is all about helping people understand and connect with each other through the language of character strengths.
I’ll let Giselle tell you her whole story, because it’s very inspiring and personal, but for now, I’ll let you know that we’re going to be talking about his idea of why current systems aimed at supporting differently-wired kids do so by focusing on the deficits. We’ll also get into how truly transformational it can be, not just for the child but for the whole family, when we flip that on its head and focus on an individual’s strengths. Lees meerTHINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
The cost of not allowing differently-wired kids to hang out in their areas of strength for large chunks of the day
Why Giselle believes differently-wired kids need the opportunity to express what’s inside of them
What the language of positive psychology and character strengths is
What happens when the whole family views each other through the lens of character strengths and is on the same page
The magic of looking at a child as a whole person
That there are other types of learning beyond cognitive learning, such as learning through the body and emotions
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Strength Clusters (Giselle’s website)
Character Strenths are Virtues: A Handbook and Classification by Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson
Via Character Strengths Survey
Brene Brown’s website
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown
Pamela Slim’s website
Support the show
Connect with Tilt ParentingVisit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & I…
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TPP 331: John Sovec on Supporting LGBTQIA+ Differently Wired Kids
20 juni 2023 · 39 min
Today I’m delighted to be bringing to the show a conversation about supporting LGBTQIA+ kids, and I have the perfect guest to explore this topic with, John Sovec, a therapist, author, and nationally recognized expert on creating affirmative support for LGBTQIA+ teens and their families during the coming out process. I wanted to talk with John because these conversations are becoming increasingly prevalent within our neurodivergent communities.
During our conversation, John explained what “coming out” means and why it’s such a significant and ongoing event for any LGBTQIA+ person. He also shared his thoughts on the high correlation between neurodivergence and gender nonconformity, how parents can best respond when their child comes out to them, why affirmation is more important than acceptance, and why it’s so important that parents honor their own process as they navigate understanding their child’s identity. Lees meerAbout John Sovec
John Sovec, MA, LMFT is a nationally recognized expert on creating affirmative support for LGBTQIA+ teens and their families during the coming out process. He is the author of Out: A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Your LGBTQIA+ Kid Through Coming Out and Beyond (JKP, 2023). John is a frequent contributor to numerous publications on providing LGBTQIA+ support, speaks at conferences nationally, and provides training and professional consultation on LGBTQIA+ competencies for community agencies, schools, and nonprofits. In addition, he consults and trains on the corporate level regarding diversity, equity, and LGBTQIA+ inclusion.
In December 2019, he was appointed by Governor Gavin Newsom to the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. John is the host of OutTalk, a monthly web series for OutCare Health.Things you'll learn from this episode
Why it’s important that LGBTQIA+ kids have access to therapists and mental health support that is affirming and informed in the community’s specific challenges
What LGBTQIA+ plus stands for
What “coming out…
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TPP 106a: Author and Parent Coach Julie King on Sibling Dynamics
16 juni 2023 · 47 min
If you are the parent of more than one child, neurotypical or atypical, this is an episode you are definitely going to want to listen to. I get requests for topics from listeners all the time (which, by the way, is great…please keep them coming!), and one of the most common requests is for an episode specifically on sibling relationships. So I found the perfect guest to talk about the sibling dynamic—parent educator Julie King.
Julie co-authored the book How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, a Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 alongside Joanna Faber, and leads dynamic lecture/presentations for schools and other parent organizations. Among the workshops she offers is one based on Siblings Without Rivalry, and she brings to her work the perspective of having raised two differently-wired and one neurotypical kids herself. I’m really excited to share this conversation with you, and I hope to do more episodes on this topic. Lees meerJulie King has been educating and supporting parents since 1995. In addition to her work with individual parents and couples, she is a highly regarded parenting workshop leader and public presenter. Her most popular workshops, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, are based on the bestselling books of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish and her own book, written with Joanna Faber.
THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
What the common challenges are for siblings in families with differently wired kids
Best practices for creating and maintaining family harmony
How to approach conflict resolution in a way that’s respectful, peaceful, and fosters growth
The power of the “reframe” conflicts as problems in need of solutions
How to handle “inequalities” in the amount of attention and/or resources one sibling may be receiving over another due to neurodifferences
Strategies for addressing one child’s anger about or resentment of their sibling
The key to finding solutions to sibling conflicts that get ev…
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TPP 330: Recognizing Less Obvious Autism with Donna Henderson & Sarah Wayland
13 juni 2023 · 57 min
Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland's new book Is This Autism is a game-changing labor of love in which they clarify the many ways that autism can present, particularly in people who camouflage to hide their autistic traits. Their book walks readers through the diagnostic criteria in a way that presents a much deeper understanding of how those criteria can, and should, be interpreted.
We cover a lot of ground in this extra-long episode, including why so many people, including women and girls and people in marginalized groups, are being misdiagnosed or simply “missed,” as well as why it’s critical that we look beyond the stereotypes of autism and gain a rich, nuanced understanding of the autistic experience.
Dr. Donna Henderson has been a clinical psychologist for over 30 years. She is passionate about identifying and supporting autistic individuals, particularly those who camouflage. Dr. Sarah Wayland is the founder of Guiding Exceptional Parents, and co-founder of The Behavior Revolution. Lees meerThings you'll learn from this episode
Why there is an unwillingness to explore autism among many clinicians, as well as a lack of training for how to assess for it
How Sarah and Donna’s joint book came together and what their goal is in getting it out into the world
Why so many autistic people are being missed in a “traditional” diagnostic process
Donna and Sarah’s thoughts on why the number of people getting an autism diagnostic has increased recent years
Whether or not there is a place for “subjectivity” by an evaluator in the diagnostic process
Resources mentioned
Is This Autism? website
Dr. Donna Henderson’s website
Sarah Wayland’s website Guiding Exceptional Parents
Is This Autism? A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else by Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland
Is This Autism? A Companion Guide for Diagnosing by Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland (available July 2023)
Support the show
Connect with Tilt ParentingVisit Tilt Parenting
Take the …
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TPP 113a: Psychologist Dr. Dawn Huebner on Helping Children Who Worry Too Much
9 juni 2023 · 36 min
I’m very excited to be talking with psychologist, parent coach, and prolific author Dawn Huebner. One of the coolest things about making this podcast is getting to continually connect with people whose work I’ve not only been following for years, but people whose work and books have literally impacted my family in a meaningful way. On top of that, I get to ask them everything I want to know. Hopefully I cover the same things that you would ask if you were sitting in my chair, too.
Today is one of those conversations, as we’ve owned and have been using Dawn’s books like What to Do When Your Temper Flares and What To Do When You Grumble Too Much for many years. Today Dawn and I are talking about her new book on anxiety called Outsmarting Worry: And Older Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety. Dawn has a gift for creating practical, doable, interactive “toolkits” to help feel empowered to take control of their emotional experience and make changes that can make the way they’re moving through life feel so much better. I hope you enjoy our conversation!
Dawn Huebner, PhD, is a Clinical Psychologist, Parent Coach and popular speaker, specializing in the many faces of childhood anxiety. Her newest book, Outsmarting Worry, maintains her distinctive voice while adding a layer of detail and sophistication appreciated by older children and teens. Lees meerTHINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
What is “normal” worry for children and how will we know if our child needs help
How we can help our children shift from being “irrational” with worry to calm
What does the process of helping a child learn to manage their own worry and anxiety actually look like?
How might some parents be inadvertently exacerbating their child’s worry?
What is one simple skill we can teach our child today to help him or her start to tackle worry?
How can we help a child who is resistant to taking steps to learn how to manage their anxiety?
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Dr. Dawn Huebner’s website
Outsmarting Worry b…
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TPP 329: Julie Bogart on Moving Through Writing Resistance for Differently Wired Kids
6 juni 2023 · 43 min
Today’s episode features an eye-opening conversation with Julie Bogart on how to help kids who have resistance around writing, which, I have a hunch, is something many of you out there listening are familiar with. Julie, the mastermind behind the Brave Writer program, the Brave Writer podcast, and really thoughtful content on all things kids, writing, learning with confidence, and critical thinking, is the perfect person to explore this topic with.
What I thought might be an interview that focused on the nuts and bolts of writing ended up being a very moving and inspiring lesson about self-expression and trust. Julie and I talked about how separating the mechanical and self-expression parts of writing can help kids experience less resistance to writing, how to break through barriers students may have when it comes to expressing themselves, and what Julie identifies as performance anxiety at the heart of a child’s struggles to getting starting putting words down on the page. Julie also gave some fantastic advice on how to change the script around writing resistance and where to get started for parents experiencing this at home.
Julie Bogart is known for her common sense parenting and education advice. She’s the author of the beloved book, The Brave Learner, which has brought joy and freedom to countless home educators. Her new book, Raising Critical Thinkers, offers parents a lifeline in navigating the complex digital world our kids are confronting.
Julie’s also the creator of the award-winning, innovative online writing program called Brave Writer, now 22 years old, serving 191 countries.
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerWhat Brave Writer is and how it helps families looking to support their children in becoming more confident writers
How separating the mechanical and self-expression parts of writing can help kids experience less resistance
Julie’s thoughts on support systems and available assistive technology and how they influence kids’ relationships with…
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TPP 328: Autism Level UP co-founders Amy Laurent & Jacquelyn Fede on Learning From Autistic Self-Advocates
25 april 2023 · 33 min
To close out this season, I’m bringing you an interview with Amy Laurent and Jacquelyn Fede from Austim Level UP! I’m going to go out on a limb and say most of you have probably heard of Autism Level Up or heard Amy and Jacquelyn’s names before. Autism Level Up! Is a resource that I have personally spent hours pouring through because it’s so fantastic , accessible and informative. In this conversation I wanted to talk to Amy and Jacqueline about why they created Autism Level UP!, how the conversation surrounding autism and support for autistic people has changed over the past decade, and how we can all “level up” our own understanding of and experience with autism and neurodivergence.
About my guests
Jac is a super fun, super goofy and SUPER DUPER nerdy Autistic Advocate and the co-founder of Autism Level UP! Jac enjoys supporting Autistic Individuals and their partners as well as program evaluation, data and statistics, and app and web development. Jac is a physical activity junky and continues to meet its intense sensory needs by seeking high impact and highly resistant movements.
Amy is an OT, co-author of the SCERTS model (a developmental framework for supporting Autistic people), and the co-founder of Autism Level UP!. Amy enjoys supporting Autistic individuals and their partners, co-conspiring as an ally to Autistic people and creative design of useful and accessible tools and supports. Amy has many sensory needs that she meets through running, yoga, dance, paddle boarding and even resistance training as prescribed by her trainer, Jac.
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerThe story behind Austin Level Up and how (and why) Amy and Jacquelyn created it
What the SCERTS model is and the ways in which Autism Level Up has reworked some of its aspects
What Autism Level Up is and how parents can engage with it
The difference between emotional regulation and energy regulation
Resources mentioned
Autism Level UP!
Autism Level UP! on Facebook
Autism Level UP! o…
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TPP 327: Debbie Reber Reflects on 7 Years of Tilt Parenting & the Tilt "Revolution" (Solocast)
18 april 2023 · 22 min
This is going to be a different kind of an episode, because it’s the seven-year anniversary of Tilt Parenting (!) and it felt like a good time to do some reflection on where we – you, me, this community – are now. And I wanted to reflect because I think it’s important to pause, take a breath, and notice this moment.
So, in this episode, I’ll share reflections on what has changed in the “Tilt revolution” and the neurodiversity movement in the years since Tilt Parenting first launched, including the language used in this space. I also get a little personal and give you some updates from my world, our family’s journey, and what’s next.
Lastly, I always want to offer something practical and tangible that you can take with you into your daily life, so I’ll tell you about the five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over the past few years and explain how they’ve impacted our family dynamic, and my own life as the parent of a differently wired kid.
Things you'll learn from this episode: Lees meerHow the conversation, and terminology, surrounding neurodivergence and the “movement” has evolved over the past seven years
How I envisioned Tilt when I first developed it
Why I believe there is no such thing as “normal”
What I see as the most exciting developments in neuroscience developments and how they’ll impact differently wired children
How my personal life has changed since I started Tilt and the challenges I’ve encountered in doing the inner work
The five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over (and over) again in recent years
Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting
Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & InstagramLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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TPP 326: Educator Sam Young on Reimagining Socializing for Twice-Exceptional Students
11 april 2023 · 50 min
The world has changed so very much in the past few years, including in no small way how our kids relate to other kids. I get a pang of nostalgia when I think about how I used to form friendships when I was younger in a more analog world, but I can also feel excitement about the many possibilities that have opened up for kids like ours to find their communities thanks to the technology they’re growing up with.
In this episode, Sam Young is going to talk with us about what a meaningful and healthy social life might look like for our differently wired kids, and how we can support them in the process. We explored how online communities have impacted socializing for neurodivergent kids, how parents can support kids in developing the skills to help with social anxiety, key elements to look for in ideal social environments for our differently-wired kiddos, and much more.
Sam Young MEd is a growth-minded, two-time Fulbright Scholar and Director of Young Scholars Academy, a strength-based, talent-focused virtual enrichment center that supports twice-exceptional, neurodivergent, and gifted students and their families. Sam is a neurodivergent educator who has ADHD. As an ADHD learner, he has a tremendous understanding of, experience in, and respect for all things related to neurodiverse education. Before founding Young Scholars Academy, Sam taught in a variety of capacities—including nearly a decade at Bridges Academy—at an array of programs in the US, Europe, and Asia.
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerWhat reimagining our kids’ social life really is about
How online communities have impacted our kid’s social lives
What Sam’s students wish their social lives looked like
How parents or adults in kids' lives can support them in building skills to help them with social anxiety
Sam’s thoughts on social skill groups and their efficacy
Expectations that parents have that might be getting in the way of their kid’s social lives
How parents can support a kid who is feeling…
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TPP 325: Akilah Richards on Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work
4 april 2023 · 40 min
I really enjoyed exploring unschooling, deschooling, freedom, and liberation with Akilah Richards, host of the Fare the Free Child podcast and author of the book Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work.
I reached out to Akilah after seeing her TED talk, which led me to her book, and then her podcast, and I knew I wanted to invite her to join me in conversation. A recurring theme in this podcast, and in Tilt, is doing our own inner work as parents, and I love how Akilah talks about relating our own reparenting to freedom, decolonization, and liberation.
Akilah shares her personal story of going from traditional schooling to unschooling to deschooling, and how she and her husband came to consider the idea of raising free people, what that means, and how they’ve navigated the realities of making unconventional choices that can sometimes make other people uncomfortable. She also shares how they think about the success and what a fulfilled life looks like for her family, as well as how her work aimed at decolonizing parenting has resonated with people worldwide.
About my guest:
Akilah S. Richards is passionate about mindful partnerships and decolonizing parenting. She uses audio and written mediums to amplify the ways that unschooling in particular, is serving as healing grounds and liberation work for Black, non-Black Indigenous, and People of Color communities earthwide. Her celebrated unschooling podcast, Fare of the Free Child, and the numerous workshops and gatherings she has been part of, have garnered the attention of Forbes Magazine, The New York Times, Good Morning America, and most importantly, BIPOC families interested or living in more healthy, consent-based, intergenerational relationships. Her recent experiences within the intersection of privilege, parenting,and power are detailed in her latest book, Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work.
You'll learn: Lees meerWhat it means to be raising a “free child” and why it…
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TPP 324: A Conversation about Declarative Language and Co-Regulation, with Linda Murphy
28 maart 2023 · 46 min
For the past few years, I’ve been hearing about this concept called “declarative language,” and although I had an idea of what it was, after reading my guest Linda Murphy’s Declarative Language Handbook, I couldn’t wait to bring her on the show because it offers another transformational tool for our parenting differently wired kids’ toolbox.
Linda describes declarative language as a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness, and as you’ll hear from our conversation, it is an ideal communication style for really all children, but especially neurodivergent children and kids whose nervous systems are triggered by demands or more imperative communication styles.
We discussed the different ways we can communicate with our children, the language we use, and the effects that simple shifts in the way we have conversations can have in our daily interactions with them. We also explored what is declarative language versus imperative language, as well as the relationship between co-regulation and declarative language and why we should use them in tandem.
Linda K. Murphy MS, CCC-SLP is a speech language pathologist and RDI® Consultant. She co-founded Peer Projects - Therapy From the Heart, a clinic in Beverly, MA dedicated to helping kids and families by using a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness. Linda has been working with individuals with social learning differences for over 25 years. She leads trainings on the topic of social learning, has authored Declarative Language Handbook, Co-Regulation Handbook, numerous articles, and co-authored the book Social Thinking and Me with Michelle Garcia Winner.
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerWhat it means to use declarative language (versus imperative language)
Why declarative language is so effective for neurodivergent children, and especially those who are wired to be more demand avoidance
Why decl…
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TPP 323: Educator and Coach Sandi Lerman on Neurodiversity and Developmental Trauma
21 maart 2023 · 47 min
Over the past few years I’ve seen the word trauma become more and more prevalent in conversations surrounding children, especially differently wired children. So I invited trauma and education expert Sandi Lerman onto the show so we could talk about exactly what’s going on with our kids — have they or are they experiencing trauma at school? What is developmental trauma? What does trauma look like our children? And how can we respond to and support a child who has experienced trauma?
In the episode you’re about to listen to, Sandi explains why two kids might internalize an experience differently, how kids’ bodies hold on to trauma, and the relationship between PDA and trauma. Sandi also walks us through the key tenets of her trust-based, connected parenting method in her heart strong system.
About Sandi Lerman
Sandi Lerman, MA Ed. is the Founder and Program Director of Heart-Strong International, a global education company that provides training and coaching programs for parents and teachers of children with developmental trauma and professional graduate-level programs for Trauma-Informed Specialists, Certified Parent Coaches, and Certified Educational Trainers.
Sandi is an educator with over twenty years of classroom teaching experience in K-12, university, and adult education settings, has worked as a parent coach and educator since 2014, and has coordinated two state-wide government and non-profit parenting and community mental health education programs in Indiana.The creator of the HEART-STRONG Model™, Sandi uses trauma-informed coach training and somatic healing practices in her work with adults and those who parent, teach, and take care of children and teens, along with practical tools and strategies to support their growth and success.
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerWhat developmental trauma is
Whether neurodivergent kids are more likely to experience trauma or have their “little t” traumas impact them in more profound ways
Why two different kids mi…
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TPP 322: Gentle Parenting Expert Sarah Moore Talks About Peaceful Discipline
14 maart 2023 · 50 min
My guest today is Sarah Moore, the author of the new book Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior. Sarah explains what peaceful discipline is and walk us through its relationships with the traditional disciplinary tools many parents rely on when navigating tricky behavior, like time outs and consequences. Sarah also explained the power of using story teaching to help kids create positive coherent narratives for difficult situations, no matter how old they are, as a way to create the opportunity for learning and growth as opposed to experiences being internalized in harmful ways.
Sarah R. Moore is the author of “Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior,” and founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting. She is a Master Trainer in conscious parenting and has training in child development, trauma recovery, and interpersonal neurobiology.
Things you'll learn from this episode: Lees meerHow Sarah defines peaceful discipline
What the H.U.G. process is and how we can use it to support our child’s healthy emotional development
How to reframe our thinking about traditional discipline tools like timeouts (and shift to employing “time ins”)
How to effectively tap into natural consequences as a positive tool in our parenting
Why removing a device or toy isn't actually a natural consequence that works long term
What Story Teaching is and how we can use it as a tool to support our child in creating coherent positive narrative about difficult situations
Resources mentioned for:
Sarah Moore’s website, Dandelion Seeds
Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science, and Better Behavior by Sarah R. Moore
Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting Blog, Mini-Courses & Expert Interviews
Dandelion Seeds on Instagram
Dandelion Seeds on Facebook
Dandelion Seeds on YouTube
Dandelion Seeds on Twitter
Sign up at Sarah’s website for one free mini-course (more than 40 topics available) and a selection of expert interviews
Support the…
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TPP 321: Chris Balme on How Parents Can Navigate the Tricky Middle School Years
7 maart 2023 · 39 min
Middle school might not feel like a very enchanting time in our lives — it definitely didn’t feel that way for me when I was living through it. But according to my guest Chris Balme, middle school is a time of great magic and opportunity for our kids, and for us as parents, if we know what we’re looking for.
In our conversation, Chris explains the three stages of identity development a child goes through in middle school, how we as parents will want to adapt our parenting styles change as our kids reach these stages, and how to navigate our child breaking our trust. We also talked about what individuation is and what it means to become a better companion for our kids, which is a reframe I really love.
Chris Balme is an education leader and writer, passionate about helping young people discover more of their human potential. As Co-Founder and Head of School at Millennium School, a lab school in San Francisco, Chris helped pioneer new learning methods for middle schoolers, based in developmental science. Chris then founded Argonaut, an online program to bring social-emotional learning to more students. He now serves as the Founding Principal of Hakuba International School in Japan, developing learning approaches that foster human and environmental well-being.
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerWhy Chris believes the middle school years are magical
What the three stages of identity development for middle school students are how kids may progress through them
What individuation is and how to navigate it with your children
Advice for parents regarding scaffolding in a way that supports their child’s development
How to navigate a child breaking our trust
What companioning is and how to do that for our kids
Resources mentioned
Chris Balme’s website
Finding the Magic in Middle School: Tapping Into the Power and Potential of the Middle School Years by Chris Balme
Chris’s Growing Wiser newsletter (Substack)
Not Much, Just Chillin’: The Hidden Lives of Middle Sc…
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TPP 009a: 11-Year-Old Asher and Debbie on the Importance of Morning Routines
3 maart 2023 · 17 min
In this special kid’s POV edition, I share a short conversation with my 11-year-old child Asher about the new morning routine we began doing in January 2016.
The routine is based on author and speaker Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM). Because I’m always looking for ways to support Asher in developing more self-awareness, we agreed to start off the New Year trying out a new routine.
In this episode, Asher walks listeners through what the new 6-step morning routine—consisting of meditation, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and journaling—looks like, and explains its impact, as well as why Asher thinks other kids would benefit.
Debbie Reber is the founder of Tilt and the host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast. 11-year-old Asher is Debbie’s child and is regularly featured on the podcast. Lees meerThings you'll learn from the episode:
How implementing a purposeful morning routine such as the one highlighted in Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning has the potential to positively impact a child’s day
The benefits for children on beginning each day by focusing on presence, positivity, and intention
Asher’s thoughts on whether other kids could benefit from a new morning routine like the one he’s doing
How meaningful a change can be when a child is self-motivated by their own personal discoveries about the benefits of a new habit
Resources mentioned:
The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM) by Hal Elrod
Pat Flynn’s podcast, Smart Passive Income
Kerbal Space Program, Asher’s favorite online game (at the moment)
Asher and Debbie’s visualization soundtrack: Enya’s Caribbean Blue, Charles Atlas’ The Snow Before Us, and Badly Drawn Boy’s I Love NYE
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TPP 320: Dr. Karen Wilson on How (and When) to Talk to Kids About Their Diagnoses
28 februari 2023 · 43 min
I know that there are concerns among many families that their child’s self-esteem can be negatively impacted by a label, or that others, including teachers may treat a child differently if they know they have one or more diagnoses, especially because of the stigma associated with neurodifferences. So this is what Dr. Karen Wilson and I get into — demystifying the process and offering suggestions for approaching these important conversations.
In our conversation, Karen breaks down the kind of language we can use when talking with kids about their diagnosis, as well as how that conversation will likely continue to evolve as our kids get older. We also talked about how to navigate this process with a child or teen who is resistant to labels, why it’s critical that we have all of these conversations from a foundation of prioritizing and recognizing strengths. and how to have this conversation in a household with neurotypical siblings.
Dr. Karen Wilson is a Clinical Neuropsychologist, Director of West LA Neuropsychology, PC, the founder of ChildNEXUS.com, and the host of the Diverse Thinking · Different Learning podcast. She specializes in the assessment of neurodevelopmental disorders in children and adolescents, and she has extensive experience evaluating children and adults who present with neurological, medical and psychiatric disorders.
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerWhat a diagnosis actually is and what it can mean to a family
How to balance communication surrounding your child’s areas of strengths and weaknesses so the emphasis is not on challenges
What types of language to use when talking with your kids about their diagnoses, and how to evolve language as kids get older
How to navigate talking with children and teens about their neurodifferences if they’re resistant to labels or being “otherized”
Best practices for talking about diagnoses in households with neurotypical siblings
How to give kids the tools and empowerment they need to ultimately fee…
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TPP 319: Dr. Gail Post on the Gifted Parenting Journey and Support for Families of Gifted Children
21 februari 2023 · 43 min
In this episode, we are diving in to the realities of parenting gifted and 2e kids. Gail and I talked about the common challenges parents raising gifted and 2e kids experience as part of their journey, why it can sometimes feel uncomfortable to celebrate our child’s accomplishments with others and how that impacts our kids and us, and how to handle our own expectations and pressures we may experience because of our child’s unique learning profile. We also explore what many families of gifted kids experience as a complicated relation with the word “potential,” as well as how we as parents can manage our own uncomfortable emotions that may arise in parenting our kids, including anxiety, envy, and guilt.
Gail Post, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist, parenting coach and consultant, workshop leader, and writer. She is also a Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine In practice for over 35 years, she provides psychotherapy with a focus on the needs of the intellectually and musically gifted and twice-exceptional, parenting coaching and workshops, and consultation with educators and psychotherapists. Dr. Post is the parent of two gifted young adults and served as co-chair of a gifted parents advocacy group when her children were in school. Her writing includes articles, several book chapters, and a long-standing blog, Gifted Challenges. Her new book, The Gifted Parenting Journey: A Guide to Self-discovery and Support for Families of Gifted Children, combines research, theory, and clinical experience, and extends her advocacy efforts to address the needs of parents of gifted children.
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerThe common challenges parents raising gifted and 2e kids may experience as part of their journey
Why parents of gifted kids feel intense pressure surrounding their child’s educational path and how that can negatively impact families
Why the word “potential” is a loaded one in families with gifted an…
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TPP 004a: Psychologist Kate Berger on What Mindfulness Can Do for Kids
17 februari 2023 · 33 min
For this episode, I sit down with Kate Berger, a child and adolescent psychologist, Mindfulness instructor, and owner of the Netherlands-based therapy practice, Expat Kids’ Club, for a conversation about the benefits of mindfulness in kids and ideas for how to begin weaving mindfulness into our families’ lives.
Kate is heavily engaged in the movement to bring mindfulness into schools and other children’s communities, and is a big believer in the benefits of mindfulness in kids, especially with regards to emotional and mental well-being, both in school and in their inner lives.
Kate Berger, MSc is a child and adolescent psychologist, consultant, and the founder of The Expat Kids Club which has provided counsel to hundreds of youngsters and, their families, as well as major corporations, from the U.K., Germany, Singapore, and the U.S. Kate is also the Co-Chair & Co-Founder of the Families In Global Transition affiliate in The Netherlands, and is a dedicated mindfulness meditation practitioner and certified instructor who teaches mindfulness to young people through the collaborative Mindfulness International.
Things you’ll learn from this episode Lees meerWhat mindfulness actually is
Why developing a mindfulness practice is a natural fit for children
How mindfulness can specifically benefit differently-wired kids
How mindfulness can support a parent in especially intense or difficult moments
Tips and ideas for introducing, encouraging, and supporting a mindfulness practice in your family
Resources mentioned for Mindfulness for Kids
Kate Berger’s practice The Expat Kids’ Club
Mindfulness in Schools Project
Mindful Schools
MindUP Foundation
Sitting Still Like a Frog (book)
Headspace mindfulness app (iTunes)
“When Mindfulness Meets the Classroom” (The Atlantic Article)
Free mindfulness course through Future Learn
Support the show
Connect with Tilt ParentingVisit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twi…
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TPP 318: What Parents Need to Know about the IEP Process, with Therapist Beth Liesenfeld
14 februari 2023 · 45 min
If you are a parent of a neurodivergent kid with a diagnosed learning disability, you likely have had experience with Individualized Education Plans, otherwise known as IEPs. And if this is you, my hunch is you have some feelings about IEPs and the whole process — the stresses, the unknowns, the fact that it might feel like you have to understand a completely different language just to get the services and supports your child needs and deserves in schools.
I invited occupational therapist Beth Liesenfeld of The IEP Lab to answer your questions around how parents can better prepare for an IEP meeting, what actually makes a good IEP, and how we can go about making changes on an IEP if we realize the accommodations aren’t being effective or if a school isn’t following through in a way the IEP outlines.
Beth is an incredibly knowledgeable expert on the subject of IEPs, and as you’ll hear, she’s truly passionate about providing “insider” information of the school’s process and culture to parents in order to increase collaboration between parents and school staff. Through her school experience, Beth saw inequity in parents' ability to advocate for a quality IEP for their child and now teaches parents a 4-step process to effectively advocate for their children within the schools through online workshops and interactive, supportive online courses.
Beth Liesenfeld, MOT, OTR/L is an occupational therapist passionate about providing “insider” information of the school’s process and culture to parents in order to increase collaboration between parents and school staff! Her company, The IEP Lab, provides online workshops and courses as well as produces The Parent IEP Lab Podcast.
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerWhat parents actually need to know before they go into an IEP meeting
The criteria for designing an effective and supportive IEP
The intention behind the goals written into any IEP, and how to create goals that lead to hoped for outcomes
What parents can do if …
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TPP 001a: Margaret Webb on Parenting the Child You Didn't Expect When You Were Expecting
10 februari 2023 · 39 min
Parent coach Margaret Webb believes that while many of us as parents are busy trying to meet our child’s unique needs, we’re often neglecting our own. In our conversation, she shares her ideas for how parents can shift this dynamic in a way that results in a more peaceful, more rewarding experience all around. The bonus? Our kids reap the biggest benefits.
Margaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she’s learned in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute’s Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she’s applied to her own life as a mom of a child with special needs.
Things you’ll learn from this episode Lees meerHow to feel empowered as a parent so you can be proactively peacefully instead of reactive
What the process of letting go of the expectations we have of ourselves and who our children “should” be looks like
How the energy we bring to the table can either positively or negatively impact day-to-day challenges
The benefits of community support for parents raising differently-wired kids
What is at the root of much of the frustration we as parents experience
The simple act with huge benefits: deep breaths
How taking care of ourselves in rough moments is great modeling for our kids
Resources mentioned for Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect
Margaret Webb Life Coach
Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect While You Were Expecting Online Course
Martha Beck
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TPP 317: A Conversation About Autistic Burnout with Neurodivergent Support Specialist Kristy Forbes
7 februari 2023 · 50 min
I’m honored to kick off the season with a powerful conversation about autistic burnout with autism and neurodiversity support specialist, Kristy Forbes. Kristy and I talk about what exactly autistic burnout is and how it presents, why “deep rest” is critical for someone experiencing autistic burnout, and how autistic burnout is differentiated from mood disorders or depression. We also talk frankly about the challenges of seeing burnout in autistic children through a neuronormative lens, and how that may lead to therapies and strategies that may be the opposite of what a child in autistic burnout actually needs.
Kristy Forbes is an Australian-based autism & neurodiversity support specialist with experience working with clients both nationally and internationally. This includes neurodivergent people and their families; and professionals who wish to support them, such as educators, psychologists, pediatricians, allied health professionals, support workers and integration aides.
Kristy is formally identified autistic, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) as well as being a parent to four neurodivergent children.Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerWhat autistic burnout is and how it's different from other types of burnout
How mental health challenges might be misinterpreted in autistic burnout treatment
How to support young people, adolescents, and children in recognizing the value of taking pause and resting
Clues to help parents have a better understanding of what their child is struggling with
Examples of what deep rest might look like for children and young people
How to recognize when your child is starting to emerge from burnout
Resources mentioned for Autistic Burnout
Kristy Forbes’ website InTune Pathways
Kristy Forbes on Facebook
A Conversation with Dr. Melissa Neff About Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) (podcast)
In Tune Families Core Programs
Kristy Forbes on Instagram
Harry Thompson
A Conv…
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TPP 153a: Casey O'Roarty of Joyful Courage on Calming the Drama in Our Homes
23 december 2022 · 48 min
Today I’m bringing back to the podcast a guest who has much goodness to offer our community, Casey O’Roarty, a positive discipline trainer, parent coach, author, and host of the Joyful Courage podcast. Casey is just about to publish her first book, a passion project called Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey. I had the opportunity to read an advance copy, and I absolutely loved how accessible, tangible, and real it is.
As you’ll hear in our conversation, Casey has insights and strategies that are powerful for parents raising challenging kids, and she paints a realistic and doable picture of how we can truly calm the drama happening at home and in our families, as well as find more peace in the day to day.
Casey O’Roarty, M Ed, is a facilitator of personal growth and development. Her work encourages parents to discover the purpose of their journey, while also providing them with tools and a shift of mindset that allows them to deepen their relationships with themselves and their families. As a former teacher, and a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer since 2007, Casey has led countless groups through workshops and classes that have left them feeling empowered and excited about parenting. She also offers an engaging podcast, live and online classes, and individual coaching at www.joyfulcourage.com. Casey lives in the Pacific Northwest with greatest teachers – her husband, and two teenage kids. Lees meerThings you’ll learn from this episode
Why Casey wrote her book and what she hopes it does in the world
The core ideas behind Jane Nelsen’s philosophy of Positive Discipline
What truly understanding that we as parents are not alone in our journey does for us
How mindfully paying attention to the body helps us calm the drama at home in difficult moments
The way using words such as “never” and “always” can negatively impact our parenting experience
How to develop the muscle of “noticing” and how this simple concept can have a pro…
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TPP 316: Dr. Tamar Chansky on How to Free Our Children from Negative Thinking
20 december 2022 · 49 min
In this episode, we’re talking about negative thinking and how to help kids who are more “glass half empty” thinkers shift their mindset. My guest is the woman who literally wrote the book on the subject, psychologist Dr. Tamar Chansky, author of Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking.
Tamar and I talked about what negative thinking is, whether it is possible to change, how to respond when our child is venting their unhappiness or negative thoughts to us, and Tamar’s four steps to combating negative thinking. There’s a good chance that we as the parents and caregivers and adults in the room have our own work to do when it comes to hyperfocusing or dwelling on negative thoughts, so we explore that as well. Honestly, I’ve listened to this episode 3 times already – once recording it, and two more times before releasing it because it’s packed with so many nuggets that I personally need to hear right now. I hope it lands for you the same way.
Dr. Tamar Chansky, is a psychologist and a writer on a mission to teach kids, adults, and couples how to make the mind a safer place to live by changing their relationship to anxiety one thought at a time. In 1999. Tamar founded Children’s and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA. In addition to the book we’re talking about today, Tamar is the author of Freeing Your Child from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Freeing Your Child from Anxiety, and Freeing Yourself from Anxiety.
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerWhether or not neurodivergent kids are more prone to negative thinking than neurotypical kids
What the definition of negative thinking is
Whether it’s possible for a child whose default mode is “glass half-empty” thinking to become more optimistic
What the negative patterns are that we are trying to disrupt when working on negative thinking with our kids
Whether venting is something that encourages negative thinking or not
The four steps to combat negative thinking
How to navigate the balance of…
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TPP 070a: Family Therapist Neil Brown Talks About Parental Burnout
16 december 2022 · 40 min
This week I bring back to the show Neil Brown, a licensed clinical social worker, the author of Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle: Resolve the Power Struggle and Build Trust, Responsibility, and Respect, and host of the Healthy Family Connections Podcast.
When I last had Neil on the show, we talked about control battles with teens, and if you haven’t listened to that episode, I highly encourage you to go back and check it out here. In today’s episode, we’re tackling an equally important topic, and one I think will resonate deeply with our audience here: Parental Burnout.
In our conversation, Neil will explain what exactly parental burnout is and how it negatively impacts parents and families, tell us how to identify it, and share his strategies for recovering from it. If you regularly feel frustrated and exhausted and are experiencing high levels of stress in relation to your parenting life, this is an episode you will definitely want to listen to.
Neil D. Brown, LCSW, is a psychotherapist who has worked with families, couples, and individuals for more than thirty years. Deeply steeped in the theory and practice of family therapy, Brown uses a systemic approach that allows him to understand the system, or context, in which problems are both formed and are healed. This approach has revealed a simple yet profound method of empowering parents and their adolescent youth to put an end to destructive control battles for good. Brown is also a trainer of parents and mental health professionals. Additionally, Brown works in industry with teams and work groups to increase organizational effectiveness.
Things you’ll learn from this episode Lees meerWhat parental burnout is and why parents of differently-wired kids are especially susceptible to it
The importance of making sure our emotional needs are met when it comes to preventing burnout
Why moms experience parental burnout more frequently than dads
What recovery from parental burnout looks like, and how long it takes
How to…
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TPP 315: Dr. Lori Desautels on Rewiring Our Perceptions of Discipline in Schools, and at Home
13 december 2022 · 43 min
I found about Lori’s work recently and after reading her book Connections over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline, I really wanted to bring her on as a guest because I believe the work she is doing is revolutionary.
Lori’s work centers around helping educators, parents, and any adults who work with children shift the way they think about discipline by reaching for sustainable behavioral changes through brain state awareness rather than compliance and obedience. She’s actively pushing back against reactive and punitive practices that can potentially reactivate the developing stress response systems of children, and is advocating for stronger co-regulation practices and regulated brain and body states for adults.
During this conversation, we consider why there is such a powerful foundational belief that discipline and punishment go together, what happens when the traditional methods of punishment are imposed on children who are coming to school with trauma or a heightened nervous system, and why it’s so important for educators to take responsibility over their own nervous system regulation.
About Dr. Lori Desautels
Dr. Lori Desautels, has been an Assistant Professor at Butler University since 2016 where she teaches both undergraduate and graduate programs in the College of Education.
Lori’s passion is engaging her students through the social and relational neurosciences as it applies to education by integrating the Applied Educational Neuroscience framework, and its learning principles and practices into her coursework at Butler.
Lori is the author of 4 books. Her most recent book, Connections over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline was released in late 2020. Her new book will be published in January, 2023 entitled, “Intentional Neuroplasticity, Our Educational Journey Towards Post Traumatic Growth.”
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerWhy there is such a powerful foundational belief that discipline and punishment go together
What …
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TPP 146a: Self-Directed Learning Advocate Blake Boles on Unschooling
9 december 2022 · 37 min
My guest this week is Blake Boles, the self-directed learning advocate behind Unschool Adventures and the author of several books on unschooling, including The Art of Self-Directed Learning, Better Than College, and College Without High School, as well as the host of the Off-Trail Learning podcast.
Now… you may be reading this and thinking, I’m not homeschooling my child or “unschooling” isn’t my thing. But I’m going to encourage you to listen to what Blake has to say. Because regardless of your child’s educational circumstances, there is wisdom to be gleaned from Blake’s philosophy on self-directed learning and helping our kids grow up into intrinsically motivated humans who understand themselves and are driven to seek out the information and resources they need to achieve their goals. I also love that Blake’s approach beautifully challenges those traditional timelines that our differently wired kids often don’t meet anyway. So… have a listen and let me know what you think. I’m curious to hear how this lands with you.
Blake Boles is the founder and director of Unschool Adventures and the author of The Art of Self-Directed Learning, Better Than College, and College Without High School. He hosts the Off-Trail Learning podcast, speaks for alternative schools, writes for The Alliance for Self-Directed Education, and has keynoted multiple homeschooling conferences.
Things you’ll learn from this episode Lees meerWhat unschooling actually is (in comparison with traditional or eclectic homeschooling)
The most common myths and assumptions surrounding unschooled kids
How intrinsic motivation is the key to helping a student learn what they want to learn when they’re ready to learn it
The ways in which unschooling and self-directed learning respects a child’s unique timeline
What the transition from a traditional educational model to unschooling might look like might look like
What a transition to university looks like in the U.S. for children who’ve been homeschooled, and how t…
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TPP 314: Dr. Abigail Gewirtz on Helping Kids Find Hope & Optimism in the Most Challenging Times
6 december 2022 · 37 min
Since my guest for today’s episode, Dr. Abigail Gewirtz was on the show just over two years ago near the start of the COVID pandemic, the world has continued to go through increasingly complicated and challenging times.
Like I’m sure all of you out there listening, I’ve struggled to find ways to help my child feel hope and optimism about the state of the world — the war in Ukraine, a spate of school shootings, a very polarized political landscape, and catastrophic weather events.
So I wanted to ask Abigail, the author of the wonderful book When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids, if hope and optimism is possible to find even when things around us feel so unpredictable and chaotic, and if so, how can we cultivate this for our kids in an authentic way?
In our conversation, Abigail shares her ideas for doing that, as well as ways we adults can manage our own fear and worries to be able to show up for our kids, and the importance of guiding kids toward something that makes them feel purpose and meaning.
Dr. Abigail Gewirtz is a child psychologist and professor at the University of Minnesota’s College of Education and Human Development (ranked the world’s third-leading institution of its kind).
Dr. Gewirtz has consulted for and presented to national and international organizations, including the US Congress and UNICEF, on parenting. Dr. Gewirtz’s most recent book is When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids.
Things you'll learn from this episode Lees meerWhat Abigail is seeing in her work over the past two years regarding of the state of the world and the impact on kids and families
How adults can manage their own pain, fear, and worries so they can show up for their kids
Whether it’s possible for our kids to feel optimism in the midst of growing up in a heavy and difficult times
How to guide a child toward identifying something that could help them feel …
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TPP 060a: A Deep Dive Into Assessments, Diagnoses, and Labels, with Melissa Neff, PhD
2 december 2022 · 46 min
In this episode, I talk with Dr. Melissa Neff, a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Missoula, MT in the United States who specializes in conducting psychological evaluations with children (ages 6-18) and adults. A lot of Melissa’s practice focuses on helping parents figure out what’s going on with their children and diagnosing things like ADHD and autism, although she shared with me that one of her favorite aspects of her practice lately is working with girls who are on the spectrum.
There are so many things I could have talked about with Melissa, but for today’s episode, we focused our conversation on the diagnostic process—what it involves and when and how parents can take the steps they need to pursue a diagnosis—as well as the pros and cons of getting a diagnoses, and more specifically, of having one or more labels attached to a child, both in their educational journey, as well as their lives as they grow into adults.
Melissa Neff, Ph.D received her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 2008 from the University of Montana following the completion of an APA-approved pre-doctoral internship at Spokane Mental in Spokane, WA. She has extensive training in working with children and adults of all ages. Her areas of specialty are the diagnostic evaluation of psychological disorders and the assessment and treatment of trauma. Dr. Neff also has extensive experience in testing for ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, and anxiety disorders. She utilizes a strengths-based approach in her work in an attempt to foster resilience, preferring a team-centered approach to assessment and intervention.
Things you’ll learn from this episode Lees meerThe typical / “best” ages for kids to be assessed
What some of the early signs are that a child might be on the autism spectrum
How subjective is the process of assessing / diagnosing a child?
What makes a “good diagnosis?”
Why the current diagnostic process isn’t catching everyone, especially…
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TPP 313: Dr. Devorah Heitner on Online Safety and Internet “Rabbit Holes” and Differently Wired Kids
29 november 2022 · 43 min
Today is an important conversation about online communities and internet rabbit holes. And I felt pulled to tackle this topic for the show because I know that the past few years in particularly has been a time where differently wired kids have been a) spending a LOT more time online and connecting with people they may not have even meant in real life, and b) doing their identity development largely online as a result of COVID. And I also know that this can put our kids, and us as their parents and caregivers, in challenging positions as we navigate a seemingly endless stream of discourse that may lead our kids down the wrong paths. Lees meer
So I asked my friend and screen and tech expert Dr. Devorah Heitner to join me for a frank and open conversation about it all. We talked about the ways differently wired kids might be exposed to harmful content, and why our kids may be more susceptible to toxic or unhealthy virtual rabbit holes in the first place, the popular places where teens and kids are hanging out the most right now, the way our kids’ worldview and their brain development is impacted they content their engaging with, and what we parents might not know that we should know about regarding this topic.
Dr. Devorah Heitner is the author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World and her book on navigating Privacy and Reputation with kids and teens, Growing Up in Public will be out in 2023 with Penguin Random House.
Dr. Heitner’s work has appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and CNN Opinion. She has a Ph.D. in Media/Technology & Society from Northwestern University and has taught at DePaul and Northwestern.
Things you'll learn from this episode
Why differently wired kids are more vulnerable to Internet rabbit holes
The places online where today’s teens and kids are hanging out the most right now
Whether it’s possible to set up controls to manage the type of contents kids are accessing on sites li…
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TPP 156a: Eric Lanigan Explains How to Make Peace with Video Gaming
25 november 2022 · 43 min
Are you worried about your child’s video gaming habits? If so, here’s interesting conversation with Eric Lanigan about two topics that I know are relevant, and perhaps concerning, to many listeners out there — video gaming and motivation. I reached out to Eric after learning about an online course he runs for parents called Making Peace with Gaming, because I was curious to know just exactly how we do that, and what that actually means in the context of everyday life with kids who are really into gaming. What I love about this conversation is it went so much deeper than video gaming and into the heart of the emotional lives of our children. I found our conversation to be highly thought-provoking—I hope you get a lot out of it.
Eric Lanigan is a Motivation Coach who has helped hundreds of people to get clear on what they want -and then do it. He guides his clients in directing their attention inwards instead of blaming themselves or external events. A former video game addict himself, Eric offers an intimate view of the world of compulsive gaming. Eric has delivered dozens of workshops on emotional intelligence, motivation, and procrastination. His online course, The Big Shift, has served over 750 people from more than 15 countries.
Things you’ll learn from this episode Lees meerWhy many children get so deeply involved in their video game worlds
The emotional payoff many children get from engaging in games
Eric’s ideas around how parents can respect and understand their child’s video gaming
The connection between motivation and gaming, and what parents miss when considering these
Why Eric says the problem isn’t the games themselves but the way we relate to the games
The biggest fears and concerns parents have surrounding their child’s gaming
Eric’s thoughts on parents legislating their children’s gaming and how rewards and punishments associated with gaming may be counterproductive / result in the opposite desired outcome
Resources mentioned for parents worried about…