Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet
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466 afleveringen, van nieuw naar oud
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Between You And Us: Episode 11
9 december 2019 · 1 uur 3 min
All hail King Salmon! Just... don't order him on a cinnamon raisin bagel. In this month's episode, we read some of the worst reviews you've ever sent us. And we're starting to think they cut off all circulation to our heads, because we blacked out halfway through. So throw on your 'flage Crocs and enjoy another special episode of Between You And Us. Lees meer
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54: Menards in Eau Claire, WI
4 december 2019 · 50 min
Don't do us bogus and give this week's episode a listen. If you don't, Alex is going to take Christine's bathroom breaks away. So hear all about how the state of your local Menards means America is dead, and about how much better Timmy Ho's is compared to everything. Lees meer
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53: Thanksgiving Reviews Extravaganza
27 november 2019 · 1 uur 13 min
*Insert Favorite Turkey Noise Here* Welcome to our Thanksgiving special! Now as a fireside chat! Your holiday is about to be ruined by the cornucopia of reviews that Christine brought to the table. Thankfully the couple Mr. and Mrs. Farmer redeem us in the end. Lees meer
Have an amazing Thanksgiving!
Krissy Kiwi & ~*~tHe PiCkLe GuY~*~
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52: Dry Cleaners in Columbia, MD
20 november 2019 · 55 min
Happy Wonderwall! Throw on your favorite Armani underwear, grab your hottest rock, and enjoy the premiere of Pretty Mayor - the opposite of Undercover Boss. If you want to hear Christine's beautiful singing, you're maybe the only person ever to feel that way. If you don't want to hear Christine's singing, you might want to skip this one. Lees meer
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51: Golf Courses in Des Moines, IA
13 november 2019 · 59 min
*golfer emoji* *golfer emoji* *golfer emoji* *hole-in-one emoji* *hole-in-one emoji* *hole-in-one emoji* *frisbee emoji* *frisbee emoji* *frisbee emoji* *hole-in-one emoji* *hole-in-one emoji* *hole-in-one emoji* Lees meer
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This episode is sponsored by FabFitFun. Use coupon code BEACH for $10 off your first box at www.fabfitfun.com #fabfitfunpartner
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Between You And Us: Episode 10
11 november 2019 · 38 min
If you're reading this, you are officially banned from LeanCuisine.com. Feeling doo-doo trash about that? Then listen to us read reviews sent in by YOU, our lovely listeners. We hope you love this month's episode, but if you don't we are prepared to pay you 100 plates of calamari. Lees meer
Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a livestream Q&A every month.
Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte.
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50: Apartment Complexes in Grand Rapids, MI
6 november 2019 · 1 uur 8 min
This week's episode is dedicated to Fat Cat Cora. Remember that time when we exposed a hairy underbelly? Well, this week's underbelly is even hairier. If you're looking for an apartment in Grand Rapids, we hope you don't take this episode into consideration (unless you love egg-hair and microwaved cups of pee). And if you believe the earth is flat, we also don't think this episode is for you. Everyone else, please enjoy us waxing "poetic" on the merits and failings of conspiracy theories... or feel free to hate the fact we did that! Lees meer
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49: Spooky Spots in Salem, MA
30 oktober 2019 · 2 uur
Welcome to the Beach Too Sandy Halloween Extravaganza!! We have such an exciting show featuring three very special guests! We bet you're reading this looking for a spoiler of who those guests are. Well guess what, we're not going to spoil the greatest surprise since that time Alex filled a pinata full of beans. But to entice you, here's a preview of what's to come: head lice, 666, ritual sacrifices, roast beef, Joe Bish, chainsaw butt thrusts, and Spooky Kama Sutra. Enjoy this SpOoKy OoKy exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them! And a very special thank you to our guests for making this our BEST episode yet! Lees meer
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48: Halloween Stores in Virginia Beach, VA
23 oktober 2019 · 45 min
WHEN YOU YELL, I YELP! Looking for a nose to pick? You've come to the right place. Turn up the Ziggy Idol, put on your star costume, and join us as we kick off spooky-ooky season with Halloween stores in Virginia Beach, VA! Lees meer
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47: Wineries in Los Gatos, CA
16 oktober 2019 · 45 min
Hello lovely listeners. Enjoying the table wine? Well why don't we take this back to our garden. We've got plenty of steamed salami to go around ;) Just don't let Louis out, we're happy he left his post at the winery for us. He just really loves when we take him on an exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them! Lees meer
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Between You And Us: Episode 9
14 oktober 2019 · 47 min
Locusts, cicadas, and hard hats oh my! We're reading the reviews you want to hear! This time we read everything from book reviews to communion wafers. Listen now, because THIS. IS. CRITICAL. Lees meer
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46: Fitness Centers in Cheyenne, WY
9 oktober 2019 · 56 min
Welcome to the start of our podcast recording marathon, AKA our descent into madness, AKA our descent into Christine's basement full of teens. Listen as we unload reviews of fitness centers from Cheyenne, WY (and Helena, MT, don't worry). Alex also shares reviews with lots of nudity and hedonistic bellboys. So tune into our liberal cesspool of a podcast as we take you on another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
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45: Tanning Salons in Huntington Beach, CA
2 oktober 2019 · 59 min
It's Alex's birthday episode and we certainly made the most of it. We discuss killing penguins and the miracle of childbirth, all while Alex intimately sings the praises of Scrub Daddy. Listen to your Podcast Messiah and his sister as they take you on another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
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44: Runzas in Lincoln, NE
25 september 2019 · 51 min
Don't know what a runza is? Don't listen to us, because we think it's a hot dog bun sewn shut and filled with questionable ingredients. We don't have personal experience because we don't even know where Nebraska is. Thankfully, the good people of Nebraska tell us filthy animals what to really expect. Hop on Alex's wedding gator boat, or on Christine's log-like hide, and we'll take you on another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
Subscribe to our Youtube channel to see our latest video: A Haunting in Bavaria: youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet. Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy to join our monthly patron only live stream!
Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet
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Music by PSOVOD, tyops, and Felix Mendelssohn.
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43: Antique Stores in Portland, ME
18 september 2019 · 58 min
We're heading to Maine on the Gossip Train! We're stopping at the Charles Inn for a ghost made breakfast. Then we'll tour the basement where Stephen King lives, butchering the name of the town while we do it. Enjoy calming episodes of Antiques Roadshow as we pull into our final stop: the future burial sites of Alex & Christine in Kaneohe, Hawaii. So hop on and let our conductor, Gearshift Gambino, take you on another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
Subscribe to our Youtube channel to see our latest video: A Haunting in Bavaria: youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet.
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42: Ice Cream Parlors in Charleston, WV
11 september 2019 · 42 min
Adjust your husky pants and let us show you the world, shining glimmering... something. We're back and we're hungry for what West Virginia has to offer, hairy underbelly and all. So turn your ;( upside down and let these regular bloody stupid johnsons take you on another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
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Between You And Us: Episode 8
9 september 2019 · 30 min
If you’ve ever read the name of our podcast and thought to yourself, "No one would ever complain that their water is too wet..." then boy do we have the episode for you! This week we read reviews sent in by YOU and this week's includes one with that very complaint. Oh and Christine improvises a limerick and Alex speaks in tongues... so your average episode from us. Lees meer
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41: Psychics in Albuquerque, NM
4 september 2019 · 55 min
This week, we explore the underbelly (and overbelly) of Albuquerque. No clue what that means? Let's just say one has high metaphysical prices while the other is ruled by a farmer friar. Still not making sense? Then rub your Walmart crystals and take a hit from your Skyline flavor vape, because it's time for another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
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40: Gas Stations in Wilmington, DE
28 augustus 2019 · 1 uur 12 min
We're forty, flirty, and friving! In this very special episodes, our jet lagged selves offer you a glimpse into what a Schiefer vacation is like. Hint: it involves wet shorts and Mao Zedong. Then we read reviews of gas stations... but they're mostly Wawa weviews. And finally, Alex provides unhelpful insight into what it means to be a religious solicitor. Lees meer
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39: Bookstores in Portland, OR
21 augustus 2019 · 1 uur 6 min
Witness if you will a subway tunnel, long abandoned below the bustling streets of Cincinnati. These tunnels have residents: Yelp reviewers. Let it be known that these reviewers have a disdain for soup and an affinity for Criss Angel: Family Man. You hear them chant, but only incomprehensible jokes about Dan Brown. They long for your company as they take a very meaningful journey into.... Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. Lees meer
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38: McDonald's Restaurants in Billings, MT
14 augustus 2019 · 52 min
This episode is dedicated to all the Tonys out there! Gather your escargatoire, put the salt away, and unfriend all Pauls, because it's time for another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
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Between You And Us: Episode 7
12 augustus 2019 · 44 min
Slip on some lulus, take a sip of yuppie crack, and dive into another week of crazy reviews sent in by you! Whether your name is Shinny or Sheenad, you'll enjoy this exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy to fulfill our dream of chatting with you live on video. Or check out our new merch designs in our online store at shop.spreadshirt.com/beachtoosandy.
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37: Dollar Stores in Birmingham, AL
7 augustus 2019 · 49 min
Hello sweet children of a friend of ours, we hope you're having the BDE. Unfortunately ours is the WDE, because our Hot Bunz aren't working and Christine won't let Alex sell his Ten Renaissance Paintings. While we figure this mess out, please enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Otherwise, bad karma is going to happen to you. Lees meer
Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy to fulfill our dream of chatting with you live on video. Or check out our new merch designs in our online store at shop.spreadshirt.com/beachtoosandy.
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36: Banks in Charlotte, NC
31 juli 2019 · 59 min
Welcome to Christine's Unnamed Game Show featuring Skeeve Harvey! In this episode, we cover finance, art history, sports, and rats. And Christine gives us some fascinating insight into her life: she's been to a bank. So enjoy our exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them, now playing on a little girl's YouTube channel. Lees meer
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35: Souvenir Shops in Atlantic City, NJ
24 juli 2019 · 1 uur 10 min
Alex: *loudly and desperately* "I FOLLOWED NONE OF THAT, BUT I HATED ALL OF THAT" *breaks into a sweat* Christine: *pulls up barstool* "EEK!!" *clinks glass* We hope you enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them, because Alex sure didn't. Lees meer
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34: Walmarts in Sioux Falls, SD
17 juli 2019 · 55 min
Calling all Walmartians! We came out of our basement to bring you an episode chock full of glory holes and racism. But don't worry, Christine left her teen greeters down there with the hair and stains. Needless to say, we hope you enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
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33: Bars in Columbus, OH
10 juli 2019 · 46 min
In this week's episode we visit bars in Columbus to perfect our espionage techniques. It turns out, Christine is not a master criminal. Flip on your DB Cooper Baby Monitor and enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
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Between You And Us: Episode 6
8 juli 2019 · 44 min
We've intercepted Bob Schieffer's emails to bring you this very important episode. He'd probably give this podcast 0 bombs if he could. But we hope the rest of you enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them, but ones our lovely listeners sent us! Lees meer
If you'd like to submit a funny review, email us at beachtoosandy@gmail.com with "Between You And Us" in the subject line.
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32: Sporting Goods Stores in Anchorage, AK
3 juli 2019 · 41 min
We're bringing you another episode of Beach Too Sandy! We explore the sporting goods stores of Anchorage and get diplomatic about Alaskan weather. Then, Alex reads reviews written by the hardest criminals around: accidental thieves. Before we release our album of jump rope rhymes, enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
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31: Breweries in Little Rock, AR
26 juni 2019 · 1 uur
Grab your tweens and make them listen to our wildest episode yet! Something is absolutely in the water supply and it's not making anyone more sane. Hear what the drunk people of Little Rock are saying about their local breweries, then hear what the conspiracy theorists are saying about Disney World. There's truly something for everyone in this episode, so enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
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30: Crab Houses in Baltimore, MD
19 juni 2019 · 54 min
Hi! We’re new and we don’t know a lot. What we do know is that these reviews are ridiculous as always. We read reviews written by some very crabby people and then Alex proves that Southern California has the best convicts. Please enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
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Between You And Us: Episode 5
17 juni 2019 · 42 min
A Beach Too Sandy love story: We love you very much and we will never hurt you. Lees meer
Come join us as we dive into our email inbox and read the best of the best citizen reviews!
If you'd like to submit a funny review, email us at beachtoosandy@gmail.com with "Between You And Us" in the subject line.
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Music by PSOVOD and tyops.
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29: Movie Theaters in Providence, RI
12 juni 2019 · 51 min
We're back with another episode for your listening displeasure. We read the worst reviews of movie theaters in Providence, RI, and Christine reads reviews written from the perspective of pets. I mean, who would want to miss hearing Christine channel her new friend Martin Van Purren? Oh, you? Well then go away. As for the rest of you, please enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
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28: Tattoo Shops in Tulsa, OK
5 juni 2019 · 51 min
Between all the talk of pearls and jumper cables, this episode is particularly heinous. For that reason, we're officially putting a ban on 13-19 year olds listening to this podcast. For everyone else, please enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Lees meer
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27: Ghost Tours in New Orleans, LA
29 mei 2019 · 50 min
Welcome to our morning morbid show with morning joe. In today's episode, we're taking you on a very bumpy ride through New Orleans. Please refrain from peeing or exposing yourself, no matter what we say in the show. After we give you the rundown of the debauchery of ghost tours, Christine talks about lost corpses and Disney World. Just listen if you want any of this to make sense. Lees meer
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Music by PSOVOD, Thejack288, and tyops.
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26: Parks in Milwaukee, WI
22 mei 2019 · 45 min
Is it possible for people to give their local parks bad reviews? Yes. And it's as crazy as you'd think! Alex then reads conspiracy theory reviews that no one needs to hear. Whether you listen to this in your home, lighthome, or waffle home, you won't be disappointed! Don't take our words for it, just listen to our new friends: Matthew, Poopie, and Coochie Lees meer
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25: DMVs in Phoenix, AZ
15 mei 2019 · 31 min
Get your sunglasses emoji ready, because we've got some "cool" reviews for you. We're reading the worst reviews of DMVs in Phoenix, AZ. Now imagine how boring an episode like that would normally be, and try to give this one a shot anyway. We end the episode with hilariously awful reviews of restaurants where customers thought they were receiving other people's leftovers. Lees meer
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Music by PSOVOD, tyops, tim.kahn, and Carl Orff.
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Between You And Us: Episode 4
13 mei 2019 · 29 min
Ghosts, choking, vampires... wait, what podcast is this again? Oh yeah, the one where we take the mask off of humanity and reveal its truest form. And in this episode, we're back to reading reviews sent in by our listeners! Come join us as we dive into our email inbox and read the best of the best. Lees meer
If you'd like to submit a funny review, email us at beachtoosandy@gmail.com with "Between You And Us" in the subject line!
Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet
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Music by PSOVOD and tyops.
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24: Post Offices in Washington, DC
8 mei 2019 · 36 min
In our most educational episode yet, we broaden your vocabulary as well as your understanding of the Geneva Convention. But don't worry, there's plenty of stupidity as we explore our nation's capital for the worst post office reviews we can find. Then, Alex gives a challenge to YOU, the listeners, because he's a failure. Lees meer
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Music by PSOVOD, typos, John Siegler, and John Loeffler
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23: Toy Stores in Chicago, IL
1 mei 2019 · 39 min
Welcome to Geppetto's Geriatric Sex Dungeon. Grab a doll, pick a booth, and enjoy our tastiest episode yet! We learn about all the toys Chicago has to offer, and we explore the stupidest recipe reviews on the internet! Lees meer
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22: Beaches in Honolulu, HI
24 april 2019 · 40 min
In this week's episode, we reveal our titular story. We also discuss condoms, feces, and panty liners. So basically... we're discussing humanity this episode. We do that by reading reviews of both ABZ and LDC. No idea what those are? Listen to find out! Lees meer
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21: Elementary Schools in Pittsburgh, PA
17 april 2019 · 41 min
This podcast made me laugh so bad!!! I threw up. It's time to kick off your Skechers and enjoy a new episode of Beach Too Sandy. While exploring reviews of elementary schools, we inadvertently explore our unfortunate middle school experiences. Enjoy the trauma! Lees meer
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Music by PSOVOD and typos.
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20: Nostalgia in Los Angeles, CA
11 april 2019 · 47 min
Episode 20 is the extravaganza you didn't know you needed! To mark the special occasion, we surprise each other with reviews of places that are close to our hearts. Hop in Guy Fieri's convertible and take this trip down memory lane with us! Lees meer
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Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White.
Music by PSOVOD, typos and Mark Snow.
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Between You And Us: Episode 3
8 april 2019 · 26 min
Cover your trouser! We're back with some PHAT reviews, ranging from Starbucks to Mount Rushmore. This episode = was passable. Just don't laugh too loudly or we'll call security... and remember, fishing is NOT a crime. Lees meer
If you'd like to submit a funny review, email us at beachtoosandy@gmail.com with "Between You And Us" in the subject line!
Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet
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Music by PSOVOD and typos.
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19: Coffee Shops in Seattle, WA
3 april 2019 · 48 min
In our quest to find the worst reviews, we may have found the worst one yet. As difficult as that was, we make it through. Next in our journey, we get lost in the Bermuda Triangle of Yelp pages, but we eventually find our way... For the sake of humanity we must continue. Lees meer
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Music by PSOVOD, and tyops.
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18: Comedy Clubs in Hartford, CT
27 maart 2019 · 40 min
This week, Lisa Lampanelli graces us with her voice... and a plea to our beautiful listeners. This is followed by plenty of tallywagging from Alex and hooting from Christine. And we cap it all off with the discovery of... ANTIMONTY! No garlic fries here, just misery and displeasure. Enjoy! Lees meer
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17: Hospitals in Boston, MA
20 maart 2019 · 38 min
In this week's episode, we take on communism, mary-juana, and the feminist agenda. It's truly an episode for the ages. But don't worry, we bleep out the worst of it. Thankfully, the world still gets to hear about Alex's first (and last) Hooters experience. Come along for the experience of a lifetime, and spread the word using #octothorpe. Lees meer
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16: Hardware Stores in Nashville, TN
13 maart 2019 · 44 min
If you ever want to blackmail us with fake audio pulled from various sound bites, boy do we have the episode for you! We provide you with amazing quotes such as "I'm going to flip my shit and burn down this place," and "I typed out the word 'sex' a lot today." And by we, we mean Christine. Lees meer
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Between You And Us: Episode 2
11 maart 2019 · 22 min
The voices of a generation reading reviews sent in by fans of a generation. That's right, we're back and we're engaging in civil dialogue. We're reading what YOU want us to read. Instead of spending your hard earned money on over priced cold dessert coffee thing, why not just listen to a free radio show? Btw, we're not armed and we're wearing our "Make America Emo" hats again. Thanks for inserting us into your ears! Lees meer
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15: Record Stores in Indianapolis, IN
6 maart 2019 · 43 min
RudeJuggalo, WeedLMFAO, alxdude9, and imalwayzcrazy444. Which ones are our old AIM accounts and which are new? You have to listen to find out! This week we travel to Indianapolis to visit some of our best friends, including Air Bud, the Indiana Sniffer, Sonic the Hedgehog, and SpongeBob. We're still trying to connect the dots... Grab your accordions, your Faygo, and please keep your septum piercings in your septum! Lees meer
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Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White.
Music by PSOVOD, jgreer, and tyops.
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